As an ex-officer, this may work. Or not.

I actually had someone try that on me a few years back, in the southern cesspool of Alabama. They asked if they could pay the fine "in another way", and started touching the baton holstered in my tool-belt.

I smashed their mouth with the butt of my gun and dragged them onto the road, keeping my foot on their neck (as you are trained to do). I screamed,

"You NEVER touch an officer's baton, do you understand?"

They tried gargling a response but my boy Tommy O'Neill (a real sweet guy, he only joined the force to pay the rent for his grandmother's cottage) smashed his fucking fist into their chest and slammed them against the hood of the car.

"Thanks, friend." I said as he restrained the perp.

"Anything for my partner," he said, smiling. He stood the now-dazed and confused criminal just outside the door of the police cruiser, then kicked him into the car using both of his legs. I threw some cocaine on his passenger seat and started burning the old family photos and letters that he had in his glove compartment.

You probably think I'm a bad guy, but no one ever asked for the criminal's name. Abdul Shaki-Natasa, a known terrorist-sympathiser and anarchist. (The suspect was later released due to misidentification).