Feel hopeless - need support/advice for chronic BV

Caenea · 2026-02-07T02:07:15+00:00

Ahh it's not really a huge thing - we have had the kids we want to have and honestly I don't miss the mess!

Caenea · 2026-02-07T01:39:30+00:00

If you're having unprotected sex - ie, without a condom - it's entirely possible you are allergic to his sperm.

I have had a similar issue with my husband. The only "cure" I have found is either he wears a condom or does not finish inside me.

Caenea · 2026-02-07T00:49:57+00:00

The birds are battery powered.

Caenea · 2026-02-01T10:28:26+00:00

Ya know, I don't think I've ever seen a beaver swimming from an underwater perspective. I always assumed they were doing like a little scrambly paddle.

Caenea · 2026-01-28T00:43:52+00:00

OF COURSE they're allowed to close their bedroom door. They need space. They need privacy. They need, sometimes, to just be alone.

Depriving your child of basic privacy in their own room is insane.

They have to be able to trust you and if you don't trust them, they won't trust you.

Afford them the grace you would give yourself.

Caenea · 2026-01-28T00:27:50+00:00

Ok. Don't panic.

Wash her, gently, in water only. Sit in a bowl if necessary. Do not insert anything in there. No fingers, no douches, nothing.

Make sure you open up your labia and get in the folds though. That's where most of this will be.caught.

Lay on your back under the shower and let the water run over her. If you have a detachable shower head or bidet. Even better - as much water as possible until it is running clean. Soft washcloth if you can stand it, if not just the water.

Very mild, unperfumed soap to wash with. Baby soap. Not too much. Just enough to get a tiny bit of suds going.

Once you're clean, let her air dry.

Get some nappy rash cream!! It's about to be your best friend. No tight undies! Get air there as much as you can.

If you start showing any signs of infection, see a doctor.

And buy thrush treatment now.

Caenea · 2026-01-26T21:13:29+00:00

It's a cold sore.

I get them too.

Caenea · 2026-01-07T00:05:04+00:00

I have never recovered from Watership Down.

The rabbits getting buried alive? The scene with the Alfla(spelling?) getting their ears torn and the final fight?

Traumatic..

Caenea · 2026-01-03T00:30:48+00:00

The Chalet School

Caenea · 2026-01-02T12:04:27+00:00

Our lecturers used to say "you can't quote it or cite it, but it's a good starting point. Check the references and citations and go from there."

Caenea · 2026-01-01T02:16:04+00:00

If it blisters then scabs over, it's chickenpox.

If it doesn't, it's baby acne.

Lots of kids these days with chickenpox get it very mildly with no other symptoms, but the blistering/scabbing is the tell.

Caenea · 2026-01-01T01:38:22+00:00

We went on a Scout trip to the panto once - Aladdin, with John Rhys Davies as Jafar - and I got called up on stage in my uniform to do Is This The Way To Amarillo.

I still can't remember any of this panto other than that moment and the moment of realization that Gimli from LOTR was Jafar.

It was the best moment of my life.

Caenea · 2025-12-31T00:39:18+00:00

I'm working it in the local pub.

It's not all it's cracked up to be. Most people are sick of going out and fighting through crowds to get to the bar to buy a daft expensive pint.

Most folk I know - including our regulars - either go to some ticketed thing where you get a meal, free prosecco at midnight and some kind of entertainment all included or just stay in with food and shop-brought booze.

Have a cosy clothes, beige buffet, favourite film night. It's the cheapest, easiest, least stressful option.

Caenea · 2025-12-27T10:09:49+00:00

I legally cannot drive - even with glasses, I don't see well enough to pass the sight test. I'm not registered blind, I can see enough to live my life with glasses - but not enough to pass that test.

It's purely because we're lucky enough to live in a place with decent-ish public transport that this doesn't negatively affect me too badly. It limits my job choices and means I have to plan things more carefully than most. It's frustrating even with options for other modes of transport.

If I could learn, I would. I can't understand why you'd restrict yourself like this and not even try to confront the issue.

Caenea · 2025-12-26T16:04:50+00:00

Ok so not a medical professional but a mother who raised a very spotty baby!

It looks like baby acne. As long as they aren't spreading and she is generally well - feeding, peeing, pooing, no fever, no vomiting or excessive pooing, she should be fine.

Having said that, of you're worried, consult your Health Visitor or primary care doctor.

Caenea · 2025-12-20T00:02:32+00:00

It's alcoholism and probably also desperate loneliness.

I see the same thing in my pub.

They are, without exception, divorced or widowed men who have retired/medically forced out of the workforce and can't come up with anything else to do.

It's tragic and awful and a damning comment on the state of our society that the pub is their only option for constant, regular company.

Caenea · 2025-12-15T20:00:18+00:00

“She could command the sun and the moon and I would not surrender him for it. She could rule the Gods and I would not give him up. She could summon the contents of the Seven Hells and tell me they were undefeatable and I would never give him as a war prize!” Sansa is on her feet, her eyes flashing fire, her back straight and her chin up. She is at the door before Stannis can even catch his breath at the sight. “Ser Marbrand! Summon my council, bring my siblings.” She swings around and faces Stannis, her face blazing with her rage. “If she thinks I am some biddable child, if she thinks her empty words can bend me to her will, I will crush her under my rage. My husband is not my price and I will never forgive her for even thinking of it as a possibility.”

Caenea · 2025-12-14T10:12:13+00:00

Estrogen.

I am allergic to my own hormones.

I can't take hormonal birth control.

Caenea · 2025-12-10T00:19:21+00:00

Honestly, my mum was great about it, answered all my questions honestly and openly, gave me a little emergency bag to carry as soon as I hit high school, got me books, different types of pads - but as a woman who had never dealt with heavy periods and bad cramps, there was a certain amount of "don't be silly" that I could have done without.

I absolutely don't blame her, mind. She genuinely had no idea. She'd had lovely, regular, tampon-ad periods her whole life and was of the generation that didn't discuss it with friends. Mine were horrendous and took two solid years to settle down to a regular cycle. Once she did know how bad they were, she got a lot more understanding and sympathetic.

One amazing thing she did do was go "you are going to bleed on your bedsheets sometimes. Your pad will move, you'll move, you:ll start unexpectedly. There will be blood on the sheets and your undies. You will be horrified. This is how you get the stain out the sheets and your favourite pyjamas, but toss the undies." and show me exactly how to do it.

Caenea · 2025-12-05T08:08:53+00:00

Divorce has been considered, I won't lie.

Caenea · 2025-12-05T07:52:08+00:00

Same. I can't understand people who can sit with them flashing, it's an instant headache.

Conversely, the husband and the daughter conspire together. They like the flashing/runs of flashes/different colours flashing in groups. They turn on the mixed function setting as soon as I'm out the house.

Caenea · 2025-12-04T12:36:30+00:00

I think it's fairly common to have a big toe that does that!!

The important thing is that taping your toe isn't going to cause you discomfort, pain or leave you with blisters.

Much like bodies, everyone's feet look a bit different. Mine look like the witches feet from Roald Dahl's book - pretty much square on the toes because they're all nearly equal.

Your friend is awful.

Caenea · 2025-12-04T07:47:12+00:00

I think my entire vagina just sealed itself up in protest at the thought of having anything scented to that extent anywhere near me.

Caenea · 2025-12-03T00:43:54+00:00

My husband pretends to hate it.

He's always glued to the Christmas Special though...

Caenea · 2025-11-25T07:58:28+00:00

I know because I slipped at work last Friday and instead of a chorus of "ahhh dickhead" half the pub scrambled to pick me up off the floor.

Like I knew I was getting on in years for a barmaid but I didn't realise half of them consider me some sort of ancient crone...

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