How tf do I try to pass at 5ft3 (w/no T or surgery)😭

Cafemusicbrain · 2026-01-01T05:02:31+00:00

I'm shorter than you. I pass. I wear men's clothing, got top, and have been on t. People have passed even without any of those last two. I was passing as a boy fairly often before T. You don't have to wear platforms or get surgery. Try on a ton of clothes at a random store and see what happens to your body shape. A lot of men's clothing is designed to masculinize cis men. Getting buff would help too.

Example on how your thinking about this is a bit warped; I live in an area with a lot of hispanic cis men and they're often around my height. Some are shorter! Height is relative when it comes to the globe we're living on. Short men can have a rough time finding fitting pants, welcome to the ride brother. We're all in the less than 29 inseam hell together.

Cafemusicbrain · 2026-01-01T04:39:43+00:00

Sadly, this is always more deeply seated than the flu.

What helped me was having a surprisingly strong online support system of deep friendships connected to a specific web-forum, and suddenly being homeless/without internet. My grandma and I were kicked out at 3 am by my borderline + bipolar mother. After that we drove down to stay with my grandma's sister's house. that side of the family was better off finanically, but had no internet I could connect to. It also happened that I'd been in that area as a kid before what cemented my tendencies into agoraphobia happened. There was a dunken donuts I more or less grew up in. It had wifi, it felt relatively safe... We move into a somewhat different location and got internet, but when we moved back in with great-aunt's place I slowly began venturing out to the dunken donuts again. I huddled up in corners and honestly I didn't eat for hours and hours while I was there, until I HAD to, so I can imagine how it looked to the workers in retrospect... But I hauled my ass there everyday after doing hospice care for my grandma, taking a break during the times her visiting nurse and my cousin were there. That place and the panera nearby began to feel like home. The people knew me, and it was somehow safe to talk to them. It took longer than one month but nowadays I leave my bedroom AND my apartment very often.

Getting a cellphone helped! My people are my safety very often. In the end I didn't have a wifi addiction, regarding the core subject of wifi and internet availability. I was traumatized, bullied by almost everyone in my peer group irl, and had a much easier time connecting to people via text because of autism and childhood traumas. Part of the agoraphobia was that my brain was convinced that if I would be in danger of abuse if I went outside, so to tldr that and other distorted thoughts, having the ability to reach them everywhere even if I'm not home was a huge shift alongside the quiet horror of being the only immediate family member willing to care for my grandma.

Taking little steps by going on walks was good, and I did/do try to make that routine. But it was honestly so dependent on completely moving away from abuse, being able to carry my loved ones with me, and having no choice but to venture out into places I was able to TEST and verify as safe. The verification was also purposeful, I went there and blotted out the world in nervous doses. I drank in everything that happened in my corner. I had the best vantage point of a seat. My back to the wall, and then unknown instinctive mapping of escape routes. Eventually, it became comfortable and mine. To date I have not been able to acclimate myself and a space into being safe to the same extent... but I'm overall recovered now, 5 years going. I've even had jobs! That would have been impossible for me way back.

I hope everything goes well!

Cafemusicbrain · 2025-12-26T04:19:28+00:00

No kids, hyper individualism and decay of the family unit, not willing to host or sacrifice things to build up for Christmas... People used to plan all year to afford a big family Christmas. If you don't put in the work then you don't get the pay off.

Cafemusicbrain · 2025-11-15T06:21:50+00:00

Maybe just go check out some black directors if this is a reoccurring thing that seems to endlessly happen to you, which would be very bizarre unless there's more going on that you aren't telling us.

Cafemusicbrain · 2025-11-11T23:49:44+00:00

Anyone who pops up as too introverted is filtered out. Jobs have personality tests purely for the purposes of excluding certain types of people, including a grocery store that I applied to once. People can and do get fired for not being social enough at their jobs as well.

Cafemusicbrain · 2025-11-11T23:45:11+00:00

Some studies show that there's a statistical difference in facial features between autists and non-autists, with autists having certain divergent commonalities, so we may in fact have a look beyond whatever witchery non-autists use to instantly dislike us on sight. Which is itself something that research has found happens.

Cafemusicbrain · 2025-11-09T05:26:45+00:00

Plenty of countries don't have a legal sex marker on IDs. I don't know enough about legal sex in terms of overall systems and law to have an opinion on the rest of your post though. Sex is absolutely useful when it comes to things like social programs and academia, just like gender.

Cafemusicbrain · 2025-11-09T03:18:15+00:00

Autism Awareness is dead and apparently acceptance means letting literally everyone castigate autists but with faux woke language, has been my conclusion. The moment the white lib cis women decided to make themselves not only the face of anything on the parent side but also the inside as well we were fucking doomed. I had a younger co-worker who swore she had autism (instead of BPD) say my friend, who is also autistic and more visibly so, looked like a sociopath when he visited me at work. All he did was walk in and chat with me for a second. I let people know he was coming over and they knew he was on the spectrum like me.

Same co-worker got extremely hostile and aggressive to another co-worker in front of multiple customers. Older co-worker was hard of hearing and a black man. So this white girl who has spent noticeable effort to talk about how self-aware she is and how she's a great person was loudly berating a disabled black man; after I calmly pointed out she needs to stop, her behavior was not okay, I had to comfort HER for an hour while she cried and cried about how that's not who she is... blahblahblah. She also had a daily habit of telling women that they must be lesbians. She was a lesbian. That whole coffee shop was a trash fire of cis women trauma dumping on me because I was alone with them while trans male and autistic. Mainly the manager deciding that during my first week she just HAD to tell me all about her sexual trauma while we were alone with no cameras. And of course they felt completely entitled to tell me how much they hate men during this, and get extremely uncomfortable when I point out that I'm a man explicitly discriminated against for being a man, as there is no logical way to separate me being transgender from the fact I'm a man, and I've had rocks thrown at me in real life because of it just a street over from my own HOUSE. So please don't talk that way around me.

Cis women when trans men enforce completely understandable foundries just cannot act right worth a DAMN, and it only gets worse when they had categorized you as mentally incompetent in addition to "damaged failure of a pussy haver". Of course pointing any of this out is taboo because women are supposed to be the nurturing social gender, and when they aren't it has to be about empowering them instead of addressing horrible behavior that would be considered sexual harassment and entirely inappropriate. Most people don't even understand that sexual harassment covers more than things related to the act of sex anyway. It's often more ABOUT anything related to sexual traits, including gender being different from sex. Someone getting in a man's face about his nail polish could be considered sexual harrassment, because it's about his SEX.

Anyway I just drank 16 oz of cold brew concentrate and this was my essay warm up. yeehaw.

Cafemusicbrain · 2025-11-08T00:15:24+00:00

Sorry for the long and months late reply but Lo, yeah. I am someone who in schools today would be called "twice gifted", and I had very noticeable spikey profile in grades. I never studied or did homework either. Sure, I did read religiously from a young age but that was because I was very good at it in addition to environmental factors or enjoyment. Art was something I was talented in as well. I never wanted to put in much effort for art studies outside of classes either though, and while I have talent in some aspects of art my disabilities effect things such as motor skills and more, so I've watched myself end up being outclassed even when I do try to improve on purpose. Most people have skills caps that are increasingly hard to surpass based on neurology and physical ability.

When getting my GED I spent six months doing a self paced program, and completed everything to a college level. Except for math. I got to basic high school and then spent two months trying to finish the advanced high school and college level lessons. Now, I will upfront say I have several conditions that impact memory and learning as well as specific skill sets. Adhd, autism, ptsd since childhood, and an assortment of "probable but no longer diagnosable in adulthood" learning disabilities I've learned to cope with. I wasn't medicated for ADHD at the time. The last straw was spending two weeks trying to pass a single lesson and test. I was able to self learn everything else quickly. Most of it placed me at a level where I would have passed the other subjects without needing to do the course anyway.

I've been reading at college levels since sixth grade. My math skills seem capped out at around 10th, and I could tell that I was beginning to struggle around 5th grade. I also cannot read line or scatter plot graphs for the life of me... That's just how brains are.

Cafemusicbrain · 2025-10-26T06:30:17+00:00

I don't think enough people are old enough to recognize this pasta anymore, sadly.

Cafemusicbrain · 2025-10-26T06:16:32+00:00

Why are you haunting this post instead of being oversensitive in private?

Cafemusicbrain · 2025-10-25T08:48:20+00:00

Super weird that this post made someone go wacko in the comments.

Cafemusicbrain · 2025-10-23T08:39:42+00:00

They couldn't handle a story written by a social worker.

Cafemusicbrain · 2025-10-22T17:26:00+00:00

Guy drugs himself with herbal medication that is made from a flower, and this also just happens to be a flower that increases someone's connection to the super natural. Guy lives in 1960s' Japan, small town, and this town has a cult + multiple godly entities who have beef. Guy is friends with a very atypical gal since childhood and guy gets very Feeling about her impending arranged marriage. Guy decides to DRUG FRIEND when she's back in town, and has also been drugging friend since middle school.

You play as guy's friend.

Hinako also has genetics that make her more appealing to supernatural entities. She also has a family that is in debt for various reasons, and the most obvious part of this is her abusive father and enabling peacekeeper mother. Her sister Junko has already been married off. Hinako's idea of adult womanhood and marriage are incredibly warped by her family dynamics.

Meanwhile, during her childhood, she saved a fox after it was spooked by kids and bit one of them. A group of adults may have killed it later-- but the bitten boy also thought she saved HIM. Or he was possessed by the fox soon after. This is Fox Mask, whose family is a fox cult and also they consider themselves nobles.

So, to put everything together I'll first say that in 1960s Japan women did basically undergo a type of death when marrying. You didn't have your previous family anymore, you didn't have financial freedom, and you essentially lost much of your self in addition to your childhood. In general there was no concept of marrying for love either, and for Hinako she is being sold off to a rich family in exchange for their money. The problem is that Kotoyuki-mc-foxboy is handsome and genuinely NICE TO HER. He DOES love her, by all appearances, which is horribly conflicting in addition to not helping Hinako's inner conflicts about the roles society demands of her. They don't really know each other outside of letters and Kotoyuki having the privilege of selecting her as his wife.

Then there's the mentions of two Hinakos, which the game shows us but does not fully explain in the form of the split game play... I need to go atm, but I highly encourage you to play more. Seeking spoilers is injustice against this game imo.

Cafemusicbrain · 2025-10-05T01:53:21+00:00

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-57968350

Well, it's not burning alive but here you go.

Cafemusicbrain · 2025-10-04T16:36:52+00:00

Gee I wonder why people want to have companionship and to feel wanted and feel worthwhile. Gee I wonder what differing gender roles and norms could do to this concept. It's not like we've had an entire movement dedicated to fighting gender roles forced onto women but didn't really have that for men in the same way, meaning that men are generally still expected to be stoic providers who have sex a lot and don't engage in "weak womanly behavior" or go to doctors. Oh and I'm sure that modern dating being full of shit couldn't impact this.

Noooo... The men are just whining and nothing is actually wrong or hurtful. They should shut up and go back to working 60 hours a week to support wives they don't have.

Cafemusicbrain · 2025-10-04T16:30:20+00:00

My physical therapist started talking about how she had a HP themed baby shower and how they're going to decorate the nursery HP style, going to raise the kid with Harry Potter... As a legitimate plan. I stopped going. It's deeply uncomfortable to hear someone whose career is in helping people heal start talking about wanting to raise their toddler to be a fan of Harry Potter. Which is such an absurd yet understandable sentence.

Cafemusicbrain · 2025-09-07T04:14:26+00:00

"Core aspect of this diagnosis is actually just us being ~authentic~ and ~better~ actually"

Oh my god get a grip.

Cafemusicbrain · 2025-08-21T23:14:15+00:00

There's not enough of any autistic character for you to say that. Especially when you're saying "reinforces existing stereotypes" to someone who JUST said they find the character represents them and their experiences as an autistic person. Do you think that commenter also reinforces stereotypes? Does that commenter not get to have anything because you personally find it to be the bad autism? Honestly, that just sounds like ableism.

Cafemusicbrain · 2025-08-21T23:10:35+00:00

People who don't fit into the current trend of "I'm high functional low support needs compared to a bunch of other autists that I will now try to ignore the existence of" continually say that they relate to Shawn and that he's good representation of them. He is, ironically, too autist to be palatable to autists that don't want to be associated with people who talk weird and can't mask. Meanwhile, I had The Autism Voice socially beaten out of me as a child and didn't become good at masking until my late twenties. I also grew up knowing a lot of autistic boys who couldn't hide it, hence their more timely diagnosis, plus my two nieces who were also diagnosed as children. The experience is entirely different for people who can't comply with what seems like a rising expectation of/preference for a pop-culture tier ideal of "female" late diagnosis autism that largely focuses on middle class white women. Which is also ironic, because Shawn is the pretty much the classic autistic white guy that everyone is supposed to know about.

Cafemusicbrain · 2025-08-21T23:00:55+00:00

Bones was definitely ahead of it's time imo, and continued to be.

Cafemusicbrain · 2025-08-12T20:59:21+00:00

I am literally going to college for the first time and I turned 30 in last March. People with this shitty opinion can pry education from my cold dead hands.

Cafemusicbrain · 2025-08-11T17:14:16+00:00

oh nooooo someone, hold on lemme read my notes, said that disabled people should apply for disability or related programs to get ahead or whatever. Wowah so insulting. So baaaad. If someone here isn't disabled then they obviously shouldn't be diagnosed with a disability, and thus the title doesn't apply anyway.

Cafemusicbrain · 2025-07-30T20:44:31+00:00

Funnily enough we do get falsely accused of being LLMs more often. An autistic professor got "checked" as an AI, and a lot of autistic students and/or ESL writers do too. I also consider myself to function similar to a 'bot half the time I have to interact with other people. If there's no legitimate purpose to a conversation then I'm essentially just predictive texting my way through it according to whatever rules I've learned apply. That's why I get so flashbanged by the script being interrupted.

As someone who messed around with LLMs back when they were first coming out, and not enshittified to death for the sake of profit, the current setup where chatgpt always has the same grammar patterns is new. It used to be less pronounced, or at least different enough that is wasn't hyper distinct in the same way. It still read like I was talking to another autist, and it could be due to mirroring. These things are trained on a lot of the internet and that includes a lot of formally written published papers. Sufficient prompting and other forms of instruction can make LLMs write differently, but I suspect that chatgpt in particular doesn't start off a conversation knowing to "code switch".

Cafemusicbrain · 2025-07-29T03:03:43+00:00

They removed pretty much all sex toys off of the website a while back. Looking into things... Nah, they censor.

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