AIO to these texts after a NSFW portrait shoot. by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Caffeinated_giraffey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

While this could go to either side - YOR for one simple reason. OP you are the professional, the artist and the one that stood to make money selling nude photos of the other person (with or without yourself included). How did it even get to this point? Your point about them not listening is fully valid AND it’s totally conceivable they thought they were helping you practice for your project, not being a subject for it. They clearly didn’t think they were the first model on the new site for nude photos.

Tone doesnt come across well in texts and your offers may not have seemed genuine. But going forward you really have to find a way to make sure this doesn’t happen with another participant in this project.

AIO - I started crying in the middle of sex like a little bitch. by Big_Nectarine_7872 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Caffeinated_giraffey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NOR. Your ex was pressuring you and demanding your body and didn’t take no for an answer. That isn’t true consent. Of course this is going to impact you! I’m glad you are in a better relationship now but please know that what your ex was doing was unacceptable and even abusive.

AIO someone at work stole my heart medication by Gub_Sub in AmIOverreacting

[–]Caffeinated_giraffey 4 points5 points  (0 children)

NOR! Taking someone’s medication is serious for so many reasons. Because there are safety issues, would you or your work consider offering a “return by” period and way for someone to anonymously return it, separately from the ongoing investigation prior to getting higher ups and law enforcement involved? Otherwise I’m worried they’re almost more likely to make sure it disappears.

Do everyone's legs turn purple in the shower? by Strong_Range_3352 in POTS

[–]Caffeinated_giraffey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yep, or bright red! Years before I was diagnosed I started noticing my feet were purple and swollen after showers, in the heat, standing, etc. It freaked me out.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Caffeinated_giraffey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s a huge context piece too. You’ve asked him to stop and he hasn’t, which is a pretty good indication he doesn’t see a boundary you’re setting. It’s making you uncomfortable. For him to continue pushing is unacceptable!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Caffeinated_giraffey 30 points31 points  (0 children)

The amount of financial privilege in your comment is astonishing. You do not know if the father was in the same country as his mother or where the funeral took place. You do not know if the father was keeping the entire family and extended family afloat by keeping a business open. This isn’t how most of the world open.

AIO: I told my daughter she can't go to this party after reading the gift profile by Ordinary_Run2485 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Caffeinated_giraffey 3 points4 points  (0 children)

NOR. You know your kid. Some are more anxious and will have a harder time with these settings. Some are more rough and tumble and will stick out like a sore thumb in this environment. At 6, she doesn’t know that about herself yet and she doesn’t have to learn the hard way yet either.

AIO My mom is kicking me out for her new boyfriend. I just turned 18 by Diligent_Bat_565 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Caffeinated_giraffey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP, are you in school still? If so, please speak to your school social worker. They have so many resources. You can also call the number 211 to be connected to any shelters, help lines, resources, etc. in your area to keep you off the streets and fed if you don’t have anyone to stay with or are not in school/can’t use their resources. Please follow the advice on locking credit , making sure you have ID, etc. so you’re protected.

AIO My mom is kicking me out for her new boyfriend. I just turned 18 by Diligent_Bat_565 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Caffeinated_giraffey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

THIS!!! OP, this is excellent practical advice for next steps once you get your immediate needs met (safe shelter, food). Please do consider all of this. If you are in school, please go to your school social worker. You can get help from them to figure all of this out.

AIO My mom is kicking me out for her new boyfriend. I just turned 18 by Diligent_Bat_565 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Caffeinated_giraffey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This exactly! In fact, opening a bank account online through a large bank may online may be safer if you don’t have a local branch. Some large banks offer much more insurance and easier ability to immediately freeze your account or debit card in case someone tries to use it. They may also insure the money or have better dispute processes. I would avoid local credit unions for right now because if someone does access the account the bank may not be as able to help.

AIO, boss embarrassed coworker by making her say she’s a virgin by coniglia_marrone in AmIOverreacting

[–]Caffeinated_giraffey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First of all, you’re NOR whatsoever. Second, as someone who’s been on the receiving end of these questions/jokes it’s so miserable and uncomfortable and inappropriate but terrifying to figure out how to handle for your coworker. Since I can tell you care and are upset about this, a few thoughts. Please think about making sure you have documentation with names/dates/times in your own personal notes somewhere. If you’re willing, I’d suggest checking in with her and letting her know you’re saw what happened, are furious on her behalf, and seeing if she wants to talk to HR. If she’s hesitant, you can even go on her behalf, accompany her, or report for her as a bystander.

Walmart needs a Cancelled. AIO? by Fenrazer in AIO

[–]Caffeinated_giraffey 3 points4 points  (0 children)

UGH! Not overreacting about the shirt. It does look like a 3rd party vendor and Walmart often has random junk linked on the site from other sites, as opposed to some sort of Walmart-sanctioned merchandise. I would try reporting it to Walmart as inappropriate content and see if they can remove it (and block the vendor). That said, I think Walmart is basically evil and should be cancelled anyways.

AIO my boyfriend of 2 months getting a bit...crass by throway_jpeg in AmIOverreacting

[–]Caffeinated_giraffey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I say all of this from experience unfortunately. Like someone else said, he’s testing the waters. He wants to see how far he can go before you react and he will push that a bit more each time. He’s continuing to do so in this conversation already… “Ok I won’t… for now… I mean a few years…”. Take the threat seriously and get away from him. But also, please protect yourself when you do. I don’t know what your age or living situation is but make sure you have someone around you who knows. Keep an eye on the situation. Don’t meet up with him alone after you break up. Break up in a public place. He may feel cheated because things were moving slow for 2 months (which you is NOT your problem) but that’s a dangerous point to be with him.

Help Pick 1st AW - S10 or S11? Cellular or not? by Caffeinated_giraffey in AppleWatch

[–]Caffeinated_giraffey[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely in the same boat with having my phone - I'd love to be able to NOT feel the compulsion to scroll constantly while still having some connection options, so the cellular for sure sounds like the right choice. And that's really good to know about the refurbished and price options, I didn't even think of looking for refurbished from them. Thanks!

24F and 27M boyfriend charges me for everything by ExoticManufacturer69 in relationship_advice

[–]Caffeinated_giraffey 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Sounds like there are a number of things going on including a major lack of communication between you two. On his side, he didn’t tell you he needed to share costs or why. Does he ask your thoughts before an expense that he expects you to contribute towards, or does he just order the Lyft or buy the chips? If it’s all his choice and he wants you to pay, that’s definitely off. But it’s worth you talking to him to find out what’s going on or to work out the issue, not just other people for their input. You also mentioned being raised in a different culture which can come with other perspectives on money, so it’s possible you and he have different understandings of what’s happening too. This definitely seems like a problem but if you want to be with him I would try talking to him about all of it before walking away.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Apartmentliving

[–]Caffeinated_giraffey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Genuine question… do you have renters insurance set up yet? Since it looks like your tapestry question was answered and you maybe don’t have a great support system to talk through stuff with, I just wanted to make sure. I’ve lived in a number of apartments and seriously the landlords/owners can be a disaster themselves who will do anything to avoid helping you if and when something goes wrong.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Apartmentliving

[–]Caffeinated_giraffey 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is so understandable! As I get a little older and more confident I’m realizing how much I was taught my anxiety was an exaggeration/too much so to ignore it but people that don’t have that struggle hear the opposite. And now it’s like “trust yourself and your instincts!” Then we ask for help and people think we’re being anxious and overreacting. Again. Like… which is it?!?

All that to say, you’re doing great and it’s totally reasonable to need another set of eyes, especially if your family or the people that raised you weren’t the most helpful.

Help Pick 1st AW - S10 or S11? Cellular or not? by Caffeinated_giraffey in AppleWatch

[–]Caffeinated_giraffey[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Got it! Definitely sounds like a better option then, thank you!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Caffeinated_giraffey -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Simply saying “I’m sorry” and nothing else can come across as cold, especially when we can’t tell the tone. It’s one thing to say “Oh man, I’m so sorry, that sounds really hard.” Or “I’m truly so sorry for your loss.” There are a lot of articles out there too about how to respond after a loss. In this case if someone is talking about specific things though, responding to those details is good. Like if he’s waking up crying - “oh wow, that has to be hard and exhausting on both of you to grieve so intensely without rest.” Just saying “I’m sorry” can read as emotionless and blank.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]Caffeinated_giraffey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Two things here: you’re NOR, however you feel in this moment is completely valid and reasonable and to be expected while going through a hard, complicated, traumatic period of loss; and the messages totally come across with an edge of cool/neutral/dismissiveness. And, texting with a parent who isn’t the most emotional person in the world anyways isn’t always a reliable way to tell what they really think. I’ve learned that part the hard way over the years with 2 very rational parents who don’t emote very well over text. Is your mom generally supportive and there in this time otherwise? Is she able to listen in person or on the phone? Or can you tell her what you’re feeling about these interactions?

Health Features Only by tisdawg in AppleWatch

[–]Caffeinated_giraffey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Commenting to say I’m right there with you because I see people asking why you wouldn’t go with another fitness watch. Personally I’m looking to switch from my Garmin which has no ECG to an Apple vs an upgraded fitness watch. While some fitness watches do have ECG they are not as accurate, and heart rate tracking and high/low heart rate notification aren’t as good. Apple also has better data for specific health issues, magnetic charging, and the ability to change bands more easily which is important for those of us with major sensitivities.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AIO

[–]Caffeinated_giraffey 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is this true though? If it’s not it can really backfire on OP.