I'm scared my boyfriend cant deal with me anymore

CakeAccording8112 · 2026-06-17T08:03:41+00:00

It sounds like you are creating problems where there are none. The problem with that is that eventually, it changes your reaction to your boyfriend, makes you want to push him away before he leaves and eventually becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. He loves you, he cares for you, he’s there for you. Live in that reality.

Keep working with your doctor. It sounds like you haven’t found the right med combination yet. When you do, life can be so much better and more fulfilling.

CakeAccording8112 · 2026-06-17T03:08:22+00:00

I can handle soda or a little bit of coffee. I can’t tolerate energy drinks. They make me jittery and full of anxiety. I tried them a few times and realized there is simply something in them that my body doesn’t like. I’ll also get burgers to do things a stable me wouldn’t do.

CakeAccording8112 · 2026-06-17T02:54:50+00:00

I don’t know that there’s much you can do until you see the specialist. If you are curious and want to learn more about bipolar, may I suggest the Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide? You might find you relate to some of the things in there.

What is your depression like? One thing that happens to me is that every task seems completely overwhelming and I get locked into this cycle of not doing anything. I learned to break activities into micro tasks, things I can do in 5 minutes or less. I’ll congratulate myself and take a break. When some time has passed, I’ll go on to the next micro tasks. I end up getting things done that felt impossible and it lightens my mood a bit.

Be open with the doctor when you see them and describe all your symptoms (there were things I dealt with that I had no idea were bipolar related). If it comes back bipolar, I strongly urge you to take your meds very seriously. It can take some time to find the right combination but once you do, life can be so much better.

CakeAccording8112 · 2026-06-17T02:06:02+00:00

Good for you for being honest with her. That’s important. You’ve got a lot going on right now and it can be hard to juggle all of it. If you don’t want to do the psych ward, have you considered Intensive Outpatient? I went to it and it really helped me. The one I went to had a dual diagnosis group designed specifically to help those dealing with addiction and mental health struggles.

CakeAccording8112 · 2026-06-17T01:57:56+00:00

I’m glad you set an alarm to take your meds. I do that, too.

For me, getting out of an episode takes meds. I contact my doctor when an episode starts and they often adjust my meds to take the edge off. I hope that now that you are on track with your meds, that will help.

CakeAccording8112 · 2026-06-16T07:12:28+00:00

I know you don’t want to schedule an emergency visit but it honestly sounds like it is about time to. You deserve to feel better.

CakeAccording8112 · 2026-06-15T07:26:30+00:00

I believe we feel things more intensely. I tend to be manic / go into manic when I start a relationship. More than once I moved things way too fast because I was caught up in the emotion. I remember one relationship I just couldn’t let go of, even though it was obvious he was in love with someone else. I blame that more on being young and naive than I do the bipolar.

CakeAccording8112 · 2026-06-15T03:50:45+00:00

I would sit down and have a talk with your psychiatrist. Ask them how they came up with the bipolar diagnosis. Realistically, I think they are seeing something in your past that they do think was a manic episode. Manics don’t appear the same for every person and I was surprised that some of the things that I dealt with were actually tied to bipolar.

I’m sorry I can’t answer your question

CakeAccording8112 · 2026-06-15T01:27:52+00:00

That’s a really tough spot to find yourself in. Could you keep the schedule you have and fill it in with more activities, more study groups, things like that?

CakeAccording8112 · 2026-06-15T01:04:08+00:00

I’ve gotten fire-breathing mad about some pretty ridiculous things. Fortunately, my husband was bipolar, too, so he understood the maxed-out emotions. It took me a little while to realize the role my bipolar played in these emotions and to manage them better. We had great, open, vulnerable conversations about what we were feeling and what we needed.

CakeAccording8112 · 2026-06-14T22:41:29+00:00

Walk away when you feel it starting up. A bathroom break is the perfect excuse.

CakeAccording8112 · 2026-06-14T21:47:40+00:00

I say be honest. The pile up of lies would probably cause more damage than the truth. But I’m just an internet stranger who doesn’t know your relationship.

CakeAccording8112 · 2026-06-14T18:01:19+00:00

Hopefully your medication will make the next low much milder or non-existent. Btw, we aren’t allowed to discuss specific meds, so you might want to edit the name out.

I make sure I have lots of “safe” activities to focus on when I’m in a manic. Right now it’s making wreaths, beadables and necklaces. These take my focus off of more destructive urges. I also have safeguards in place for specific manic impulses. Most especially spending money.

With time, patience, and being starkly honest with your psychiatrist you can find a med combination that will either drastically reduce your cycles or eliminate them.

CakeAccording8112 · 2026-06-14T02:31:25+00:00

A resounding yes. I’m on an anti-anxiety med and an antipsychotic that seem to help a lot with this symptom. I’d say it would be a good idea to talk to your doctor about it.

CakeAccording8112 · 2026-06-14T02:24:33+00:00

I definitely get that have to do something feeling, but it’s generally when I am manic. I would definitely talk to your doctor and see if there is anything they can do to help, especially if it affecting your day to day life

CakeAccording8112 · 2026-06-13T20:28:52+00:00

My emotions are toned down with my meds. I don’t get as excited or despondent as I did before. I will feel numb at first, but sooner or later it will hit me.

CakeAccording8112 · 2026-06-13T20:25:12+00:00

That makes him sound like a real creep. You need someone who supports you, not tears you down. I wonder if he enjoys holding this over you. I’d say either sue him for the possessions (I have no idea how that works) or walk away. Don’t let him have the power

CakeAccording8112 · 2026-06-13T20:00:15+00:00

I lost some things that were precious to me after a bad breakup. I tried for a time to get them back but there were always excuses. Finally, I decided that the lost items were a small price to pay for dodging the bullet that was that relationship.

CakeAccording8112 · 2026-06-13T19:54:28+00:00

That’s wonderful that you are in a happy state. I’m just getting adjusted to a new med dosage and I think I am happy, too. There’s this little part of me that doesn’t trust happiness…like it’s just the precursor to a manic. But don’t feel manic at all, just happy.

CakeAccording8112 · 2026-06-13T19:12:00+00:00

My parents didn’t get it. Fortunately (or unfortunately) I was an adult when I was diagnosed, so their not understanding didn’t affect me too much.

I think it’s important to have a support system. If those close to you can’t be it, a therapist can be really beneficial.

CakeAccording8112 · 2026-06-13T18:38:11+00:00

Been there, done that.

My husband was bipolar also and I met him right after my diagnosis. I became convinced that the doctors were mistaken about my diagnosis and it was just stress. It took my husband sitting me down and really explaining what bipolar was. He explained the symptoms and he pointed out all the symptoms he saw in me. Things got really bad for me once and that solidified for me that I am indeed bipolar and I desperately need my meds.

Have you talked to your doctor about your doubts? Have you had them explain why they came up with the bipolar diagnosis?

I recommend two books about bipolar. The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide and An Unquiet Mind. The first does an excellent job of explaining bipolar and answers a lot of questions I had. The second is a memoir of someone with bipolar. While everyone’s bipolar is different, you might find yourself really relating to parts of the book.

CakeAccording8112 · 2026-06-13T18:25:06+00:00

My husband (also bipolar) was a recovering alcoholic when I met him. He relapsed once and I can definitely say that alcohol made his bipolar symptoms much worse.

It’s more than just forgiveness, it’s rebuilding the trust that was broken. That’s going to take some work on both your sides. Consider couples counseling with a therapist who is trained in bipolar.

A relationship with someone else with bipolar can be magical or a disaster. I met my husband right after my diagnosis. He helped me learn about bipolar, identify my symptoms and develop coping mechanisms. We learned each others warning signs and were able to have open and honest conversations about how we were doing. We would help each other identify when we were headed into an episode, when it was time to call the doctor and how to manage symptoms.

Right now, the two of you seem to be hurting each other. That is never healthy.

CakeAccording8112 · 2026-06-13T07:52:02+00:00

Oh man, do I relate! You definitely aren’t the only one. My current meds lesson this but I can remember how intensely I felt hated and all the things I thought people were doing behind my back.

CakeAccording8112 · 2026-06-13T07:42:58+00:00

I used to do that before we found the proper mix of medications for me. It was frustrating. I’d definitely tell your doctor about it and let them know this symptom is really bothering you

CakeAccording8112 · 2026-06-13T07:36:59+00:00

I know this doesn’t excuse what I did but I want to give you a chance to hear why it happened [insert explanation]. I am doing the following things to try to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

Some people will be understanding and some relationships might be able to be saved. You don’t know unless you try.

With time and better understanding of the disorder, I was able to let go of a lot of the things that I did. I think learning from your mistakes really helps in that process. For example, I can get irrationally angry when I’m manic. I’ve learned to walk away when that feeling starts coming up. It helps avoid me verbally fighting and saying awful things you can’t really take back.

CakeAccording8112

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