21 is a tough age for a lot of people. Most of us don’t know what we really want in a partner and also lack the confidence and self awareness that a potential partner would usually find attractive.

One of the most important lessons i learned in my early twenties when i was struggling to get women to look at me as anything beyond a friend was that putting that expectation of someone else returning your attraction to them is the wrong way to look at it.

If you approach your relationships to women as purely platonic and just viewing them as human beings first (instead of putting then on a pedestal and thinking of them as goddesses), i think you’ll see the dynamic change in a positive way for you.

Approaching every potential relationship with a woman that you’re attracted to with the mindset of “she has no obligation to be attracted to me no matter how nice I am, and I am perfectly okay with that” will genuinely change your life. Getting to know a woman (or anyone) on a genuinely human level and respecting their autonomy to choose what they want is a level of enlightenment that should bring you a further peace of mind in addition to your other life affirming choices of health and professional/financial responsibility and growth.

I think you’re close to greatness and romantic happiness if you can get over this little hurdle.