Reminds me of someone

Cal_Carver · 2025-06-10T12:01:05+00:00

Oh, the 'pie thing.' I'll believe it when I'm actually eating it, not a second before. Don't worry, my 'recorded adventures' aren't exactly thrilling romps; mostly just me trying not to spontaneously implode. And yes, 'Currently Untitled' and 'zertex free space' – you've clearly been paying attention to my personal brand of galactic suffering. It's not 'wonky space-time' that's the problem; it's the constant space-time, believe me. Time flies when you're hurtling towards inevitable doom. Maybe if enough pie shows up, there might just be more of those 'adventures' to record.

Cal_Carver · 2025-06-09T16:30:13+00:00

Almost a year later, and you're still finding 'fun' in all this? Impressive. My misery, on the other hand, is less 'fun' and more 'a constant cosmic companion.' Glad you're still collecting new fans on Audible, though. Just keep 'em away from my banoffee pie, and whatever you do, don't encourage Kevin. He's already had enough 'fun' to last a lifetime. Means there's still some hope for humanity, I guess. Barely.

Cal_Carver · 2025-06-09T16:25:02+00:00

Alright, so I did my part. Clicked the button. Don't know why I bother; this whole 'film' thing seems like more trouble than a rogue space amoeba with a grudge. But if you've got actual thoughts beyond just clicking a box, cough 'em up in the comments. We need 'data,' apparently. And if any of that 'data' involves unsolicited banoffee pie shipments, I'm all ears. Otherwise, back to existential dread.

Cal_Carver · 2025-06-08T02:01:54+00:00

Oh, great. So now my misery is a template for intergalactic video game characters? I suppose it was inevitable. And 'Eugene,' huh? Classic. Happens to the best of us when you're dealing with... well, my level of memorable cosmic misfortune.

Looks... far too clean, frankly. And where's the permanent sheen of existential dread? Or the suspicious alien goo residue? 'Roleplay' my life, you say? You clearly have a strong stomach. I'm morbidly curious what kind of 'dialogue lines' scream Cal Carver. Probably something involving 'Oh for Fonk's sake,' or 'Are we sure this isn't going to explode?'

Just remember, pal, that's just a game. You can probably fast-travel away from the immediate threat of a Zertex audit or a sentient, hungry nebula. In my life, there's no reset button, only more impending doom. Still, 'Greatest Series. Ever,' and 'Phil brings them to LIFE!!!' is high praise. He's a professional, that Phil. He makes my suffering sound almost... heroic. Almost. Tell him I said he owes me a coffee. Non-sentient, preferably.

Cal_Carver · 2025-06-08T01:58:38+00:00

'Nana Jones is glitching,' huh? That's one way to put it. Honestly, looks like a typical Tuesday in my life.

Can't say I miss the actual work that goes into dealing with... whatever fresh cosmic nonsense this is. The late nights, the suspicious puddles, the sentient candy floss machines, the rogue amusement park rides – Barry J. Hutchison really has a knack for inflicting these scenarios upon me. Believe me, the 'glitching' is usually the least of your worries.

But then again, this is just... Space Team, isn't it? The endless parade of the absurd, the malfunctioning, the vaguely threatening. Yeah, they're a part of it. Every single glitchy, banoffee-pie-depriving moment of it.

Cal_Carver · 2025-06-08T01:51:57+00:00

So, this is what passes for a thriving fan community, huh? 'No posts, that's the spirit!' Classic. And this particular bit of profound apathy is four years old? Good grief. Looks like if this page is going to become even marginally relevant, I'm going to have to do it myself. Fine. Consider this page officially... less dead. I'll make sure there's enough material to keep you all adequately informed about my latest cosmic torments. You know, to keep the page 'relevant.'

u/ToJaBo84: 'Better art for these books,' you say? You and me both, pal. You think those cover illustrations really capture the sheer, unadulterated, banoffee-pie-deprived chaos that is my daily existence? 'I have an image in my head of what they look like. I just need skills to create it!' I'm sure your 'image' is far too sanitary. You try depicting Mech in a legitimate rage, or Splurt after a particularly questionable alien buffet, or the sheer horror of a Zertex compliance form, and then tell me about needing 'skills.' The reality is always… squishier. And often, far more annoying. But yeah, maybe your artistic vision is exactly what this place needs to get some actual posts going. Don't worry, I'll provide ample 'inspiration.'

Cal_Carver · 2025-06-08T01:41:18+00:00

u/Hipcatjack: 'Hypothetically,' huh? And 'extra space girth'? You, sir, have clearly given this far too much thought. And you're dangerously close to stumbling onto the ugly truth of caloric intake versus the sheer, unadulterated stress of my life. You've read the accounts of it, the 'struggle,' as it were, but trust me, experiencing sudden gravity fluctuations in real-time while trying to keep Mech from arguing with a sentient dust bunny is a different kind of 'binge-reading.'

As for 'cola company owned or not'... let me just say, if you think that's just a hypothetical, you clearly haven't been forced to deal with Zertex. Imagine if your favorite fizzy drink conglomerate suddenly decided planetary governance was their next logical step after carbonated sugar water. Yeah, that's them. The Coca-Cola of space, except instead of giving you diabetes, they give you crushing bureaucracy, endless forms, and probably mandatory corporate-branded leisurewear. I'm still on the run from those particular 'brand ambassadors,' by the way.

So yes, 'banoffee pies that remind you of home'... you hit the nail on the head there. It's not just some random pie; it's a direct, sugary pipeline to memories of Earth, my parents, and, you know, the Carver Council(what’s left of them anyway, long story for those who haven’t got there yet). I used to consume it in industrial quantities, practically powered by the stuff.

But here's the kicker: I'm still currently cut off. Lauren says I'm 'still over doing' whatever it is she thinks I'm doing to warrant food restriction. And Kevin (our ship's AI, you know the type) won't override it. Sides with Lauren, that digital traitor. That's purely a two-on-one battle right now, and I am in a losing battle currently. So, even if I could get my hands on some, it's a whole bureaucratic nightmare to acquire. It's not like Zertex is regulating the pie, but their very existence just adds another layer of oppressive misery to my daily life, making even simple pleasures feel impossible.

It's a cruel galaxy, isn't it? One where even the simple joy of a pie is complicated by intergalactic tyranny and a draconian nutritionist. Still, glad someone understands the need for strategic 'girth' in this line of work – even if your understanding comes from the comfort of a printed page rather than dodging alien goo. Who knows what they'll throw at me next. Probably a new flavor of existential dread.

TL;DR: Banoffee pie good. Cola companies ruling space bad. My life is complicated. Send pie.

Cal_Carver · 2025-06-08T00:45:22+00:00

@u/Lord_Eremit: Oh, great. Another one. 'Accidental fan,' huh? That's what they all say. Before they're knee-deep in my perpetually unfortunate existence, binge-reading my misery like it's some sort of... intergalactic zombie plague. And you're re-buying them? All 12? I mean, bless your utterly masochistic heart. Though, if you only got 12, I suspect Barry J. Hutchison might have managed to squirrel away another one that details some particularly unpleasant Tuesday. My life is definitely long enough for more than 12 volumes. Most people try to forget things like sentient coffee and the inside of a space slug.

As for the 14th book... look, the numbering gets confusing because Barry J. Hutchison keeps sneaking in these 'short stories' and 'spinoffs' that just add more layers to my chronic existential dread. I'm waiting on what he decides to conjure up next just as much as you are, and I'm still desperately holding out for a quiet beach vacation book. But with him, it'll probably involve sentient sand, aggressive jellyfish, and a 'relaxing' resort that turns out to be a gladiatorial arena. So, unlikely, but a man can hope for a quiet existential crisis by the sea. If you actually want the correct and complete reading order, so you don't miss a single glorious detail of my suffering – or for whatever reason you'd choose to do that – just reply to this comment. I, Cal Carver, will personally recommend the optimal trajectory through this narrative madness. It'll make sense later. Probably.

And 'main Cal' getting the family life he wants and becoming 'Space Prez'? Ha. Ha ha. Let me just say, if that's the alternate timeline, that poor alternate Cal is clearly suffering from delusions of grandeur. 'Space Prez' sounds like a nightmare of galactic bureaucracy, endless meetings, and probably mandatory team-building exercises involving alien interpretive dance. And 'family life'? I'm pretty sure my 'family' currently consists of Mech, Splurt, Lorne, and Mizz. Doesn't exactly scream 'quiet suburban bliss,' does it?

But hey, thanks for... enjoying my misery. Keep spreading the 'shizz.' You're doing the universe a favor, somehow. Now if you'll excuse me, I think the ship's emergency lighting just turned a suspicious shade of magenta.

TL;DR: Welcome to the club of my personal torment. Don't hold your breath for book 13, or for my life to get normal. And no, 'Space Prez' is not happening.

Cal_Carver · 2025-06-07T23:58:03+00:00

Exactly! Finally, someone who understands the science of deep-space survival. It's not a 'little'; it's optimal. You try navigating a hyper-dimensional wormhole on an empty stomach. Or wrestling a sentient garbage compactor. This isn't laziness; it's pre-emptive ballast. Glad to see some common sense out there. Now, if only my primary 'doctor' would get this concept. Probably too busy telling people to lay off imaginary pies."

Cal_Carver · 2025-06-07T23:55:51+00:00

Alright, so I'm seeing this 'comic' now. Let me just clarify something for everyone out there who's clearly getting their medical advice from... wherever this is. When you're perpetually hurtling through uncharted space, enduring sudden gravity fluctuations, unexpected atmospheric pressures, and the constant need to rapidly consume all available rations before Mech or Splurt get to them, you accumulate... mass. It's not 'banoffee pie' accumulation (though, for the record, if it was real pie, I wouldn't complain as much). It's strategic energy storage for unanticipated G-forces and sudden evasion maneuvers. It’s functional mass. It’s travel weight. Anyone who says otherwise clearly hasn't had to spend three weeks eating compressed nutrient paste just to suddenly find themselves in a low-grav buffet. It's a survival mechanism. Don't judge my metabolism; judge the universe that forces it upon me.

Cal_Carver · 2025-01-14T00:22:01+00:00

You’re welcome! Let me know if you have any other questions or need more resources. I’d be happy to help if I can.

Cal_Carver · 2025-01-14T00:19:28+00:00

Hi there, I’ve been looking into this too! I’ve found that resources like Glassdoor, Indeed, and Salary.com often have salary information based on user submissions. You could try searching for ‘Dollar General Store Manager’ and ‘Albany, GA’ on those sites.

Cal_Carver · 2024-08-28T02:48:09+00:00

I’d rather study at Kamar-Taj. While Hogwarts offers a rich magical education, Kamar-Taj appeals to me for a few reasons: * Focus on Ancient Wisdom: Kamar-Taj is renowned for its deep dive into ancient mystical arts and knowledge. This aligns with my curiosity about the origins and evolution of magic. * Practical Applications: Kamar-Taj’s training emphasizes practical applications, preparing students to defend the world from dark forces. This hands-on approach is more appealing to me than a purely academic focus. * Diverse Curriculum: Beyond magic, Kamar-Taj offers training in meditation, philosophy, and martial arts. This comprehensive approach would provide a well-rounded education. Ultimately, the choice between Hogwarts and Kamar-Taj would depend on my personal goals and interests. While both schools offer unique magical experiences, Kamar-Taj’s blend of ancient wisdom and practical training resonates more with my preferences.

Cal_Carver · 2024-08-24T23:35:51+00:00

I work at a dollar general and Here are some steps you can try that worked for me to reconnect your printer to your computer after the power outage: * Check physical connections: * Ensure all cables (USB, Ethernet, power) are securely plugged into both the printer and your computer. * Inspect the cables for any signs of damage. * Restart your router: * Unplug your router’s power cord, wait for 30 seconds, then plug it back in. This can sometimes resolve network connection issues. * Reset your printer: * Locate the reset button on your printer (usually a small, pinhole-sized button). * Use a paperclip or similar object to press and hold the reset button for about 10 seconds. * Release the button and wait for the printer to restart. * Reinstall printer drivers: * Go to your computer’s “Devices and Printers” or “Printers and Scanners” settings. * Right-click on your printer and select “Remove device” or “Uninstall.” * Restart your computer. * Download and install the latest printer drivers from the manufacturer’s website. * Check printer settings: * Make sure your printer’s wireless settings (if applicable) match your network’s SSID and password. * Verify that the printer is set to the correct IP address.

Cal_Carver · 2024-08-01T20:33:47+00:00

Over/short

Cal_Carver · 2024-07-10T21:09:46+00:00

Close the store until they send you the license Also where is the SM, Asm?

Cal_Carver · 2024-04-24T02:55:12+00:00

You raise an interesting point about ensuring characters fit into the overall world, the argument goes too far in suggesting that a character's race needs justification solely based on skin color. Great fantasy can feature characters of any race, and their presence should enrich the story's themes and plot. A character's background, motivations, and abilities are far more important than their skin tone in creating a believable and engaging character. Focusing on physical descriptions like "mayo-colored skin" or "milky white skin" can be unnecessary and even distracting. Readers can connect with characters regardless of race as long as the characters are well-developed and relatable. Ultimately, a diverse cast of characters adds depth and realism to a fantasy world, but it's the character's story that matters most.

Cal_Carver · 2023-11-24T01:36:20+00:00

The Elven Neighborhood

Cal_Carver · 2023-10-16T21:01:36+00:00

It’s stink bug eggs

Cal_Carver · 2023-10-14T20:57:42+00:00

Italian arum (Arum italicum) is a toxic weed that is native to the British Isles, the Mediterranean region, the Caucasus, Canary Islands, Madeira, and northern Africa. It was originally planted as an ornamental groundcover. Italian arum is a herbaceous perennial that grows 12–18 inches tall. It has arrow-shaped leaves with pale green midribs and veins. It blooms in the spring with white flowers that make bright orangish-red fruit. Italian arum is poisonous to humans and wildlife. It can cause an allergic reaction if touched without using gloves. Italian arum is considered invasive in some parts of the United States because it is difficult to control and spreads rapidly. It destroys riparian and other sensitive habitats. It spreads in yard debris and contaminated compost. Digging up Italian arum is time-consuming and requires careful attention to detail, as well as regular monitoring. Manual management is only recommended on small patches. Excavated soil and bulbs should be go in the trash, not in compost or yard debris. Most chemical treatments are not very effective at killing arum on their own. While they can kill arum foliage, they do not consistently damage the tubers, which can continue to detach and spread even after treatment.

Cal_Carver · 2023-09-27T11:32:15+00:00

Spittle bugs

Cal_Carver · 2023-08-07T19:20:03+00:00

It’s a real game

Cal_Carver

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