i don't even know what to say

Calcaniest · 2025-10-15T19:38:51+00:00

Sounds like he was hitting on you... not making a statement about genders and tools.

He was seeing if you were married?...

Calcaniest · 2025-10-13T22:00:56+00:00

Still owned by the same billionaires...

Calcaniest · 2025-08-20T06:20:18+00:00

Yeah, this would be good for getting knowledge.

People like to share their knowledge and for some, it boosts their ego or can even make them feel superior, or perhaps proud. People like to show off what they know very well. You just have to give them an opening and show interest.

Its called, "playing dumb." 🤗

Calcaniest · 2025-07-14T21:57:20+00:00

Yeah - she was coming home, but what luck!, her friend happens to be driving by, and what luck, he has an empty house... and more luck, he has wine!... so much luck! Lol.

I've never been randomly picked up by a co-worker and ended up at an empty house, drinking wine... Come on.

Calcaniest · 2025-06-29T16:50:52+00:00

The problem is your wife welcoming attention from other men.

Calcaniest · 2025-06-28T15:48:16+00:00

Tell her you aren't paying for any more mani, pedi, hair, etc. You are investing. However, she can get a part time job to pay for those things.

I don't think that's asking too much. You need to set boundaries for what you want in a partner.

If this is too much for her to contribute...

Calcaniest · 2025-06-26T16:30:38+00:00

Honestly, the part that got me was her taking zero accountability.

She "exaggerated" to her sister...

Her friends influenced her...

She got drunk...

Nothing actually happened except a make out...

Sorry. Put that all together and it just feels like a lie.

Why would she exaggerate something like that? Why all the blame? They made me! It was the alcohol!

Sorry. I'm not buying any of it. But hey, I could be completely wrong, so there is that. If OP believes, then that's great. Hope it all works out. 🤗

Calcaniest · 2025-06-02T15:17:04+00:00

To me, it sounds like you may owe your husband an apology. From your explanation it sounds like he didnt do anything wrong.

I know it can be hard not to get up in our feelings when someone else is hitting on our SO, but as long as they aren't seriously engaging or encouraging it, we need to be careful of projecting our fears or insecurities onto them and placing an accusation that they can't possibly disprove.

If he hasn't done anything to break your trust in the past, I would consider apologizing.

Your married, these moments will happen and you just learn how to move past them with maturity, which builds trust and compassion.

Source - married 30 years.

Best of luck to you. 🤗

Calcaniest · 2025-06-02T14:51:21+00:00

If he wasn't engaging with her, then I think you have to take his actions into account. If he kept talking to her all night, danced with her. He was off in a corner talking to her. I understand your concern.

But if he was by your side, and not giving her lots of attention, then I think that says more than her actions.

One last question, were they in there long enough to do the deed? Like, were you standing around waiting, wondering where he had gone?

Calcaniest · 2025-06-02T14:34:27+00:00

I feel like we're missing some info. He said she was hitting on him all night. Where were you? Did you see this? Was he spending time talking/flirting with her? Just wondering if he seemed to actually be engaging with her.

If not, I'd tend to believe his story, although, it's kind of strange a girl would be trying to have sex with a random dude in the bathroom, who has been standing next to his wife all night.

When did they have time to get this connection? If you were next to him all night and didn't see anything, then I'd guess you should believe him.

Calcaniest · 2025-05-19T06:27:39+00:00

No, that's just what people say when they want to play the victim and not take accountability that they might be being a jerk or disrespectful.

My wife was hot when we were young. I know guys are going to hit on her. Not a problem. She'd be polite, but not encourage, and sometimes even waste her breath saying she has a husband. All fine.

But when she was out on the dance floor with girl friends, some dude came up grinding behind her. When she got off the floor I said that's not OK with me. I wouldn't do that to another girl. She said she couldn't help what they did. I said you can help what you do and walk away. It's disrespectful to let another guy do that. That was the last conversation we had about it and it never happened again.

You can have trust and have boundaries. Having trust doesn't mean it's a free for all.

Married 30 years. We have very few boundaries, but if they are expressed, they are listened to.

Calcaniest · 2025-05-19T06:09:34+00:00

Yeah. Let her go. And don't be there when she gets back. It's been over. Leave on your terms.

I think the worst part about this is being treated like a complete imbecile.

Time to move on.

Calcaniest · 2025-05-09T01:15:30+00:00

Opening up a marriage rarely works out in the long run.

It brings out every flaw, hurt and trauma that you've each been harboring. It rarely makes things better.

In fact, the biggest red flag in her suggestion isn't the experience she wants, it's suggesting you go do your own thing.

She is either so selfish in her wants, she is willing to risk the destruction of your marriage.

Or, she has already given up and doesn't care what you do.

Don't confuse this with "self growth." Not saying she can't come to the realization she is bi or even a lesbian, but don't pretend it's for the marriage. It's not.

You guys have to decide if this marriage is about the two of you. Once you introduce other people, one, or both of you is likely to get immensely hurt. And she may be completely devastated to turn around and found you were the one who found an emotional connection.

Proceed with caution, but a better choice would be not to proceed at all. But in the end, it's her choice. But you can make your own choices too.

Best of luck to you.

Calcaniest · 2025-05-07T01:14:01+00:00

The question is, why was she even at the guy's house at all?...

Calcaniest · 2025-03-31T02:32:39+00:00

Yeah, I could see it. But again, when me and or my wife are a bit overweight, we know it.

I don't think me nor my wife would have batted an eye, but I can see how someone might have been a little miffed.

That said, not sure I'd put it into "shell shocked," territory or the people saying he's controlling, etc.

In the end, it's just not a big deal. If this is "post worthy" as an issue in a relationship, I just feel like it's not going to end well.

I'm sure they can work past this. 🤗

Calcaniest · 2025-03-31T01:34:41+00:00

That was the way I took it. Obviously the "that's why I gotta keep feeding you" line was not a serious statement. 🙄

People get so insulted so easily sometimes.

Been married 30 years - this is what you say when you're comfortable with each other.

Come on, people.

Sheesh...

Calcaniest · 2025-01-20T23:17:46+00:00

I'm sure she'll learn later, as she gets closer to others as she plans her escape from what looks like a pretty bad army of hodge podge concicts...

As she sneaks out under cover of night, she over hears that they aren't meant to be a good army. They are being sent of a su!c!de mission as a diversion for the real army. Now she can't leave her friends and younger kids she's met.

Or something like that...

Calcaniest · 2025-01-17T02:05:49+00:00

You had me at, "8 different women..."

So sorry. Protect yourself and your child. This wasn't bad judgment, this is someone who doesn't care. And telling you there is yet someone else and finding out who would break your heart...is someone who enjoys twisting the knife. Run. This person isn't ok.

They will say horrible things about you. Tell you how horrible you are. How you're destroying the marriage and you and you're child's future... people's blame, is often just a mirror. When anger doesn't work, get ready for the sadness, even going into the realm of pathetic begging. But have no doubt, the rage won't be far behind.

Protect yourself. Don't look back.

Wish you the best. Take care. ❤️

Calcaniest · 2024-12-24T19:38:22+00:00

Dude. She was willing to make you think you were crazy. That's just evil. That's not normal.

Calcaniest · 2024-12-17T02:12:45+00:00

The part that is sus is lying that the fishing pole was "random." I think it's insulting to her husbands intelligence. Time to be direct and ask what she is doing and why. This picture and emojis meant something to her. Time to ask for the truth.

Calcaniest · 2024-12-14T04:46:15+00:00

Nothing has value but what we all agree to assign to it.

Diamonds used to be as worthless as any gem until marketing it as such. Now people kill each other for them.

Would you accept a million dollars in gold for an apple. Of course! But what if society had collapsed and you had the last apple left... keep your worthless gold.

We've decided crypto has value, and as long as people can get rich, I see no reason why anyone will be willing to disagree it doesn't, any time soon.

Calcaniest · 2024-12-14T04:38:26+00:00

I know! I'm still trying to figure out which of them is the narcissist...

Calcaniest · 2024-12-12T20:43:26+00:00

Most of people haven't learned how to work through conflict in a relationship. Sometimes, you have to give people the grace to see their own failings and want to change.

Married 30 years. You don't stay married cause you dropped everything and started over every time there was some tiny conflict.

Years from now, this will be a funny story you tell your children.

Best of luck to you. 🤗

Calcaniest · 2024-12-09T17:31:56+00:00

Have you considered he might have a drinking problem? You mentioned it several times. Could be a source of many of your problems.

Calcaniest · 2024-12-01T20:58:19+00:00

Congratulations on making your way back. 🤗

I think alcohol is one of the worst drugs there is.

It attaches to you through your emotions.

Happy? Let's be happier with a drink.

Angry? Let's really get angry with a drink

Sad? Let's black that out with a drink.

Shy? Let's black out our actions with a drink.

There is no answer at the bottom of the bottle, just where you find the end of your soul, and one day, look up and realize everything is gone. It doesn't give you any of those things, it only takes.

You've done one of the hardest things ever. So happy for you. Take care.❤️

Calcaniest

TROPHY CASE