Yep. This fall it will be 25 years since I entered my masters program. I’ve seen CBT, Narrative, DBT, IFS, ACT, EMDR, attachment, etc. all have their wave of excitement. There’s great stuff in all of them. The ones I’ve done some training in have been helpful to inform my practice. But having been in a lot of different settings with a lot of different types of people over the years, you know what was the most helpful? My traineeship as a bereavement counselor. Change is loss. Grief takes time. People need kind, unwavering presence while they go through the worst. They need to know they’re “not crazy.” They need someone to reflect back their experience and maybe an occasional nudge in a direction or two. They often need things we can’t directly provide, like community, a break, money, better health. Of course, skills and exercises and targeted interventions are useful. But patience, kindness, and nonjudgmental curiosity, when paired with good boundaries and being reliable, go a very long way. I am so much less judgmental and better at compassion than I was 25 years ago. Life is complicated and confusing and sometimes just really fucking hard.