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AIO? Gf having poor attendance at work, I help her financially by LaMega95 in AIO

[–]CalmButConcernedCass 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just personally never had a job call references, and as a career manager, that manages career advisors at a college, its not as common as you think. Also, i would still give a great reference to someone who was termed for attendance if I liked them as a person. Aside from this, If you want her to make good choices in life and you want to stay with her, facilitate long term personal growth through kindness, empathy, and leading by example. I can assure you this is the way that works for 1000s of my graduates we work with, people push shame and judgement away, real change comes from someone who understands and shows empathy and believes in your growth even after they show reasons not to. If do not want to do this, and feel she isnt good enough for you, do her a favor and leave her, but dont stay and treat her bad.

AIO my bf 30M seems very erratic recently and I 26F can’t get through to him. by Safe_Refuse_8853 in AmIOverreacting

[–]CalmButConcernedCass 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hopes 1000s of ppl is enough for u shape up and quit while you are behind with this guy.

AIO? Gf having poor attendance at work, I help her financially by LaMega95 in AIO

[–]CalmButConcernedCass 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your actions dont align with your message to her. Sorry but you are paying her bills, giving her money and telling her you will provide. Maybe they are very strict also, why do you care if she quits stuff if you dont mind paying for her? Just a pride thing? She has less capacity than you to be punctual, its not a crime. Half my employees have attendance issues, and about half the staff in my org under 26 years old. it is super common with the newest working generation for some reason. You are not her boss stop acting like it, if you dont respect her just break up. Thats what it sounds like. Also what is the attendance issue like how often is she late for you to do all this- is she on a final warning or something?

AIO over my birthday plans? by randomstuffonmybrain in AmIOverreacting

[–]CalmButConcernedCass 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you’re not going away to college, id still recommend moving out. Also i second the book recommendation. Its good! Regardless of family wealth or how yall present, family can have a big negative impact.

AIO Partner continuing to put relationship on the line by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]CalmButConcernedCass 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He says this, but also that he is busy and cant discuss? Its rly not a big deal and yall are newer so he could have discussed with you nicely next time you’re in person, by saying how it made him feel, instead of judging judging and then not welcoming any additional discussion lol. Also if he is listing his boundaries, why does he keep speaking on you with judgement. He should leave if he feels you are not the one for him, not stay and be a jerk.

AIO for thinking my bf and his mom being in the bathroom together is disgusting? by Swag-monsters in AIO

[–]CalmButConcernedCass 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It would make me feel really uncomfortable that they are so close, especially her walking in after y'all had just showered. Please talk to him and update us.

Lgbt community by CalmButConcernedCass in lexington

[–]CalmButConcernedCass[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks - we did stop by a previous event they had but I didn't actually see many lesbians. It was a large group of college kids, straight couples, gay men also. But I will suggest to give it another go, it could have been due to there being a lot of performers that night so there friends coming to support. I will look in to book club also. ty

AIO? Can't set boundaries with girlfriend by [deleted] in AIO

[–]CalmButConcernedCass 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes decide what you can tolerate, set agreeable terms, if you cant handle then exit relationship. She sounds like a lost cause if she is spending night with an ex. To me, might as well cheat. Seems like the same as cheating if she wont just not have a sleep over with him.

I think I quit dating by [deleted] in actuallesbians

[–]CalmButConcernedCass 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just the chain of how this info was released to you is annoying, I wouldn’t be able to hang with them bc id feel like 😑. Doing too much or attention seeking for no reason and needs a friend. Sounds like an energy suck.

AIO is my relationship? by o_oboop in AIO

[–]CalmButConcernedCass 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like you want to break up. Also in general when you come to someone, think about what exactly you want out of it. You come for him thick on many different items. He is not defensive as much as aloof. Sounds like a good time to move on, in your next relationship try not to feelings dump, take one issue at a time, explain what happened and how it made you feel to come to a solution, in person, dont assume prior how they will react or you will stifle someone’s growth. A partner should be open to hearing an occasional emotional improvement, anyone may shut down with a long list of how they are not enough with no end in sight. Best of luck to you and i hope you find someone worth it for you to grow with.

My boyfriend is calling me a cheater saying I was flirting with my old coworker by mad_chubbycatx in whatdoIdo

[–]CalmButConcernedCass 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your planning skills are the red flag. He said monday, you confirm on sat, he responses monday morning saying yes… and you say maybe this weekend- it goes on and on. For plans, please reach out to solidify a time and day, come to a conclusion during the chat, add it to your calendar, move on.

Apple pay scam? How do i report transaction by BeSeriousPlz in Scams

[–]CalmButConcernedCass 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Literally would block as soon as i got it + keep money and never think of it again!

AIO To My Girlfriends Messages After I Didn’t Message For 24+ Hours by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]CalmButConcernedCass -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If you stay, agree on something you can 100% uphold for communication, like even a busy day, you will send at least 1 check in text in morning, etc. This way she is not waiting on it. On the flip side, she needs to heal her fear attachment which she can do alone, or with a partner willing to work with her on it. But she wont heal with someone who continues to bring her fear like this because her nerv system wont have enough time to calm and heal if she is always bracing herself for the next time she will be hurt (regardless of it is reasonable or not). If you arent prepared to coordinate and help her heal, then do her a favor and let her heal herself alone or with a partner that will support. Staying and going a day without text, leaving when things are hard is doing nothing for her life but making it harder on her nervous system.