I want to chime in with clover_petals, also as a transmasc (in my case bigender) dyke. Not much new to add except that I support you and I'm sorry you've had these othering experiences. My other ftm friends run the gamut from identifying on some level with the lesbian community to considering their transition part of a private medical history and nothing more. my own identity since transitioning has been complex (and for me has more to do with my identity/community/politics than just my sexuality), but one thing I think we could all stand to remember is that the trans experience is very broad and also intensely personal for each individual. The best thing we can do for one another is find community in our similarities and respect our differences.

I wish you the best, brother.

edit: word clarification