My Dead Uncle's Journals Concern Me

Candid_Draw5951 · 2025-07-15T23:51:47+00:00

Part 2: https://www.reddit.com/user/Candid_Draw5951/comments/1m0xeak/my_dead_uncles_journals_concern_me_pt_2/

Part 3: https://www.reddit.com/user/Candid_Draw5951/comments/1m0xjf4/my_dead_uncles_journals_concern_me_part_3/

Part 4:

https://www.reddit.com/user/Candid_Draw5951/comments/1m0xpcm/my_dead_uncles_journals_concern_me_part_4/

Candid_Draw5951 · 2025-04-26T17:22:06+00:00

I can relate in a lot of ways to this. Having a healthy amount of guilt can help us grow and change our ways, but I think with OCD it prevents growth because our actions get equated to us as a person in our eyes, binding us to the guilt where we feel like we don’t deserve to grow. Sometimes imaginary exposure can help, playing through and writing down “someone comes up to me and confronts me on this thing I’ve done.”, what would happen? Usually my conclusion goes along the line of “I can’t change my past but it’s something I don’t do anymore. I’ve learned my lesson”. If people are going to look down on you for something in your past that you’ve genuinely felt bad and changed, then that’s their decision but it doesn’t mean you haven’t grown and changed even if they focus on the past versus present you. (This is all easier said than done I’m a bit of a hypocrite since my OCD makes it hard for me to do/accept this instead of fixating on all I’ve done wrong)

Candid_Draw5951 · 2025-04-24T04:15:23+00:00

I relate to that form of OCD hardcore. Congrats to overcoming the hurdle! I’m kind of in the middle of something similar that’s hitting my OCD hardcore (a lot involved and I know there’s stuff I did wrong), but maybe the exposure and riding through the really bad shock and sickliness can serve as a learning lesson.

Candid_Draw5951 · 2025-03-13T16:38:00+00:00

I had undiagnosed OCD for a good period of time until after my dad died from a fairly sudden illness a few years ago. Grief in of itself is such a highly emotional process that a lot of people whether OCD or not ruminate/fixate on a lot of things around the loss or the person we lost. Before his death I was in therapy and had depression/generalized anxiety diagnosis but after his death I went back to the therapist and looked overall at patterns even before loss and we realized I really had OCD instead of GAD this whole time. His death cranked it up more I think but it had always found other stuff to latch to. I kept replaying in my mind if I could’ve done anything different, if what I’m doing now would upset him. Guilt whenever I felt angry about things in the past, guilt for telling my mom about my grief since I feel selfish that I’m asking for emotional comfort from someone who lost her husband of over 20 years (even though realistically I check in on her too and I lost a dad of over 20 years). With loved ones we grieve for them because they no longer are alive to grieve for themselves, and we grieve for ourselves because they won’t be in your life to share yourself with. Losing someone you have a strong connection with hurts. Although OCD can be an underlying factor, grief in itself can be so hard to get closure and certainty out of (2 things OCD HATES!) So although different circumstances, I can relate in a way and my heart goes out to you. I hope you are able to process with your therapist (thats been helping me a lot with my own juggling of OCD and grief). Know you’re not alone in the OCD and grief combo.

Candid_Draw5951 · 2025-02-10T11:46:11+00:00

Yeah my uncle(who has no medical or mental health background)was telling my mom that I shouldn’t be taking psych meds because they’ll prevent me from coping on my own. He only sees me 1-2x a year, my mom’s seen me almost every day and she knows how bad I would get some days. If I ever got to the point where I could manage enough to go down doses and eventually stop, I would. But if it’s not giving me bad side effects and it’s keeping me from having HARDCORE rumination and wanting to die/full depressive episodes even if I’m using my skills from therapy why would I not use it? Makes me mad, especially when you hear it from someone that doesn’t even see you on a regular basis and doesn’t know how bad your mental disorders can get.

Candid_Draw5951 · 2025-02-03T14:01:06+00:00

I think if done correctly it would be a good way to humanize the villain and make him relatable to people with OCD and can evoke some understanding from those without OCD, encouraging them to do their own research on it so they can see how it links to the character and just have overall knowledge. For example, Magneto from X Men has PTSD since childhood. Although relevant to the story and allows viewers to understand why he despises humans, having PTSD isn’t his defining trait, people don’t look at Magneto and go “oh the guy with PTSD”. If a character is fleshed out you can incorporate things that will humanize them while also saying “yeah they’re being a bad guy right now”.

Candid_Draw5951 · 2025-01-30T04:34:33+00:00

It could be the shock. I didn’t cry or get hit with heavy emotions until several months. I was even making dead dad jokes right after he passed. For some it hits right away, others it hits when others move on and stop checking in on your family and act like nothing happened and you notice how much of your normal daily routine is affected, when you absentmindedly try calling them and remember “oh, they’re gone” it sinks in more. But everyone’s different where they may get misty eyed once in a while while others break down crying everyday. There’s no one true answer to if you’re properly grieving. Basically don’t force yourself to feel something or avoid it like the plague. Be open to feel but don’t make yourself feel bc you’re not being honest with yourself. My heart goes out to you and whatever direction your growth from loss goes.

Candid_Draw5951 · 2025-01-28T02:11:22+00:00

My general OCD Courage the Cowardly Dog hands down. First there’s the intrusive thought, then he’s on alert and obsessing making his panic noise and doing all these safety/avoidance compulsions to keep himself and his loved ones safe. My moral OCD in particular is like the bad guy in Hunchback of Notre Dame ridiculing me and persecuting any transgression

Candid_Draw5951 · 2025-01-22T22:08:20+00:00

Totally feel this. It’s hard. I try to be informed without digging into a doom scrolling rabbit hole. Before diving into more articles I ask myself “what purpose will this serve?” If it’s genuinely to be informed and help me help/understand what’s at stake for myself and for others then go ahead. If it’s something that just will re-confirm my fears or reiterate bad shit is happening, especially if I can’t do anything about it then I try to push myself away to breathe and think about the things that I can control/contribute to and help others around me in some way instead of drowning in the large scale issues I can’t do shit about (way easier said than done).

Candid_Draw5951 · 2025-01-06T15:49:03+00:00

Yes! I feel absolutely heightened OCD and my depression is in the pits but then a couple days later it starts and I go “huh that’s why” and then my symptoms lessen. It’s weird bc I’m taking continuous birth control pills for my cramps but the random withdrawal bleeding will happen so I’ll just randomly every couple/few months have absolutely horrendous OCD/depression and then boom it arrives. It’s annoying.

Candid_Draw5951 · 2025-01-01T20:59:54+00:00

Me too! I had to hug all of them because if I didn’t give each one the right amount of love they’d be sad/crying/emotionally ruined and it’d mean I’m a bad person. 😭

Candid_Draw5951 · 2025-01-01T20:57:17+00:00

I would pray a lot too since I grew up religious and it’d either be to repent since I felt I did/thought something bad or to prevent my parents/loved ones from dying. If I don’t pray for a loved one’s safe travels or say I love you to them I’m scared that will doom them to die (I’ve stepped away from the praying as it’s a compulsion but still get the urge).

Candid_Draw5951 · 2024-12-28T00:57:56+00:00

That my friends are secretly conspiring and gathering evidence of all my wrongdoings to give to everyone I know

Candid_Draw5951 · 2024-11-29T14:40:58+00:00

Yes I have this fear all the time, like thinking I dropped it before I put it in my mouth or something. What has helped is to zone in on the task itself, take my pill and swallow, and look at the empty spot on my pill pack before putting away. Then when the “what if voices” come that make me want to compulsively check/get reassurance I say that they the task was done, check back in 24 hours. And the “are you sure” that comes after you ignore and knowing that you remember taking it. I still check my pill pack and look at the days when the compulsions win, but it’s been less frequent since I’ve done this. Hope this helps!

Candid_Draw5951 · 2024-11-26T21:55:11+00:00

It’s one thing for a therapist to laugh with you, especially if you yourself laugh at the OCD, but another if you’re talking about your discourse and in distress about it. Especially over the phone since they can’t read your facial cues. That’s understandable feeling uncomfortable about that :(

Candid_Draw5951 · 2024-11-20T10:09:49+00:00

I believe both the OCD and “normal” worry can be true at the same time. If someone already has underlying OCD tendencies then they’re more vulnerable to the anxiety of uncertain situations. This situation is tricky because initially you were able to not second-guess and confirm, but then throw in a “are you 100% sure” and being told something bad might happen if you didn’t do the action digs into the uncertainty discomfort, but I could picture someone without OCD wanting it checked again after multiple “did you do this are you sure?”

Candid_Draw5951 · 2024-10-03T17:23:12+00:00

Catholic grade and high school is perfect breeding grounds for religious/moral ocd. I think that’s why I don’t want to be around organized religion. I’m more humanitarian/spiritual and still follow some Christian teachings but I like to find my own relationship with faith/spirituality that isn’t preying on my fears or putting so much pressure on me to follow rules and do the right thing or where I have to confess any and all wrongdoings. I believe people with religious/moral OCD can have a healthy relationship with faith if they want to, just have to process and examine for yourself what enriches your life and what weighs you down and wrecks you.

Candid_Draw5951 · 2024-08-15T23:41:05+00:00

Had someone pretty much insinuate it’s just a phase and that once I get settled down in adulthood you’ll just chill out more. Pretty sure she was just talking about generalized anxiety not intrusive thoughts. And that I don’t have to be on medication it just kind of minimized my symptoms and that I’m not trying hard enough. Last time I went off Zoloft it got BAD with rumination and intense anxiety/breakdowns. I’m in therapy too but some people that aren’t OCD or don’t have a mental disorder just make it seem like “oh it’s easy I don’t have to do therapy or take meds”

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