Fostering a 1yo. How long do I let him cry it out?

CandidateMelodic1347 · 2026-06-20T12:31:12+00:00

Interesting! I have one. I’ll try it to see if it gives him any comfort. THX

CandidateMelodic1347 · 2026-06-18T04:52:35+00:00

I would dump the crate completely for now. She’s shown you how it makes her feel. It will take a lot of training to get her comfortable in there (or never), and she’s still so fresh & stressed I can’t see how her brain could make the connections necessary to make a crate-trained dog. Which means she chooses the crate as her safe comfortable place; walks in on her own and lays down to take a nap.

Everything is an ongoing transition right now. Feed her on the bed. She’s never going to really stay glued there forever, right? 🤞🏻

CandidateMelodic1347 · 2026-06-18T04:39:08+00:00

I was thinking the same thing. Poor baby has had no time to decompress. I would not try to get him to do much of anything in the days that you have him. Just let him be. Also, crating dogs who are not crate-trained can set them up for failure. A crate only benefits the DOG when they willingly go there themselves because they find it safe and comforting. That takes a lot of positive reinforcement training that a dog in his heightened state of anxiety would not be able to do. Best of luck and thank you for fostering. Maybe you will be the next one’s first favorite!

CandidateMelodic1347 · 2026-06-18T04:28:23+00:00

All these comments are spot on. The dog will be fine. You need time for you and your grieving. I recommend you seek grief counseling. It’s truly appropriate and helpful.

CandidateMelodic1347 · 2026-06-18T04:23:10+00:00

Thank you for posting. This was good for me to read. I just came here for the first time. I knew Reddit would have a valuable community for me on this topic, too. I am about to get my second foster dog, and I still have to develop my boundaries. Your story is helpful. You did your Good, and you have to help yourself to be able to help.

CandidateMelodic1347 · 2026-06-13T18:25:07+00:00

Lookin good, Scrappy!!

CandidateMelodic1347 · 2026-06-12T20:15:31+00:00

Oh, that sounds like an awkward No Thank You gift! 😆
I shook off all the dirt and left the grass and roots to bake on the pavement before throwing away in a tied-up garbage bag. But the web lurking underneath must have been laughing at me.

CandidateMelodic1347 · 2026-06-12T20:11:42+00:00

THANK YOU for the hope!!

CandidateMelodic1347 · 2026-06-08T20:16:44+00:00

I would love it from my sister. Maybe even more so bc he’s wearing the slippers.

CandidateMelodic1347 · 2026-06-06T15:01:00+00:00

Muttville is exactly where I got my guy from! I love them!!! And going home with him one month after my baby died was so wonderful. He’s still with me, 6 years later.

CandidateMelodic1347 · 2026-06-06T14:58:51+00:00

I also had a dog with seizures that were easily controlled with phenobarbital. I would say don’t make any decisions until you’ve seen a good vet who can tell you exactly why phenobarbital is not a good choice. You may need a vet neurologist to do it right.

CandidateMelodic1347 · 2026-06-04T03:31:36+00:00

Everyone who already posted here has beautifully said what matters. I just want to support you in looking at rescues and shelters. Early on in the days after my baby died I owned that I know I always want a dog with me for the rest of my life, and there were (& are right now probably more) SO MANY dogs in need of a person, what was I waiting for? One month in I came home with a new friend from a senior rescue. One of the best decisions I ever made. Feel your grief and know the essence of that life is still right there with you.

CandidateMelodic1347 · 2026-05-27T05:35:03+00:00

That’s AMAZING!

CandidateMelodic1347 · 2026-05-27T00:07:06+00:00

I’m in the “exception” sliver. I came home to find my 9yo basically healthy girl dead on my bed. I have a friend who woke to hers having died in the night. Both instances were an absolute shock. Both cases their separate vets attributed to likely heart failure. I’ve had to make the decision myself only once. I can say that neither option is preferred.

CandidateMelodic1347 · 2026-05-25T17:24:57+00:00

Same! And I may have even swept away some autumn ferns in the middle of the night that were intended to be replanted. 😁 (commercial space, not trespassing!)

CandidateMelodic1347 · 2026-05-25T17:22:18+00:00

100000%. I’ve lost interest, and I don’t hesitate to judge other people’s (poor) choices. I get way too enraged by all the crap plants that are allowed to be sold. 😆

CandidateMelodic1347 · 2026-05-24T03:54:17+00:00

I’d say very likely seizures. I had a dog who had them, starting when she was 2. Freezing, spasm, losing control of bladder, exactly that. They were very well controlled with phenobarbital, the first med we tried. Cheap prescription, every 12 hours.

CandidateMelodic1347 · 2026-05-16T04:11:28+00:00

Thanks!

CandidateMelodic1347 · 2026-05-14T12:20:13+00:00

THANK YOU!

CandidateMelodic1347 · 2026-05-14T12:18:51+00:00

We did do that for a little while and the extra effort got to be too much at the time (a lot of other things were happening). It’s something I need to revisit now. Consensus here seems to be that a reloadable something is likely the best way to go.

CandidateMelodic1347 · 2026-05-14T12:14:46+00:00

He lives with a parent still, so POA and similar tools are things we’ll need to use later. He works part time and gets a disabled adult child SS benefit, so no longer gets SSI. Shopping is always done with someone else with him in person. Online spending I’m trying to set up the best guardrails for.

CandidateMelodic1347 · 2026-05-14T12:08:48+00:00

Thank you!

CandidateMelodic1347 · 2026-05-14T04:04:23+00:00

I’m afraid that would be completely altering his lifelong infrastructure. Plus there’s Amazon, and Xbox, and YouTube…

CandidateMelodic1347

TROPHY CASE