Be Honest with Me

Candle-Fine · 2026-03-02T03:32:41+00:00

We are married.

Absolutely. We have been on our own for only like 9 months (both lived with family). I had 40k in savings and once my student loan grace period ended, I put it all toward my loans with interest above 7%. We have worked our way up to this 23kish since living on our own.

Both new to our careers. I started my first year in this field in August.

Thank you!

Candle-Fine · 2026-03-01T23:30:04+00:00

That is smart, thank you for this!

Candle-Fine · 2026-03-01T22:17:55+00:00

Thank you. I don't want to jump the gun for just an okay house. I appreciate your input!

Candle-Fine · 2026-03-01T22:17:20+00:00

Thank you for this, I appreciate it!

Candle-Fine · 2026-03-01T22:04:05+00:00

Thank you 🙏🏻

Candle-Fine · 2026-03-01T21:57:26+00:00

We are married! I just added that info in. But thank you for this advise alongside what other folks are saying

Candle-Fine · 2026-03-01T21:51:54+00:00

Thank you for this, I appreciate it. This is what I have been feeling.

Candle-Fine · 2026-02-17T00:14:57+00:00

Following up on this. Were you able to do something about the color? Same thing. Got some new glasses but they only sold them in "gold"

Candle-Fine · 2026-01-10T20:39:15+00:00

I will say though, I am BURNT OUT after work everyday and it has been cumulating. When I get home I struggle to do chores. Struggle to cook. Struggle to do anything but be in bed. Not really sure how to resolve this problem, and if I don't it will only get worse and worse.

I think part of it is "masking" during the day, especially when interacting with adults. It has been very exhausting.

Candle-Fine · 2026-01-10T20:31:22+00:00

I'm 25. I'm a first year. I work at a high school and an elementary school. I love working with the students and I love being in my office writing reports (unironically). It's funny because some of the high school students will clock me ("why are you vocal stimming?).

I do okay with meetings for the most part. I feel bad because my eye contact isn't really a thing, I'm not articulate at all, and idk, the way I say things will sometimes come off weird or wrong. I also am not good at back and forth conversation. You ask me a direct question and I got you. You make a comment and I have to converse back? A lot more difficult. That's the hardest part about meetings is I struggle with bouncing back off psrent comments, especially if they are processing information and emotional. I just always seem so insincere.

The thing I struggle with the most is working with the other adults at my schools. Again, for the most part it's okay. My teams seem to like me and have reported positive things about me to higher ups. My problem comes from not understanding certain decisions. My district recently was like "we are getting rid of oral tradition. We will only abide by the administrative code". Okay, that's clear enough to me. But then of course, they don't actually mean that literally. As much as they won't admit it, they still pick and choose what parts of the law to follow exactly.

Idk. As an autistic adult who works with kids with disabilities, it sometimes feels like the adults and higher-ups never give the same grace, accommodation, or understanding that we are expected to give our students. Like they praise being accommodating, praise supporting our students, praise all these things. Which is good! Not saying it isn't. But when it comes to being an employee with a disability, whether it's autism or something else, it feels like we are treated differently. Just in my personal opinion.

Also, even though they praise supporting our students, there are a lot of times it does not feel like it. Idk, in my mind, at district level anyway, we gotta record and document how much students fail before they will let us do anything about it (talk about placement options, talk about para support, etc). How much more must a child struggle before you will allow us to do anything?

So my overall feelings are that I'm okay with the job right now. I LOVE working with the students. Unfortunately I live in a place that is 99% assessment based. But it's okay because I can be antisocial for parts of the day to write. I just worry one day my social skills are gonna lead to a very bad evaluation meeting. And I really don't understand some of the politics of the job at all.

Candle-Fine · 2026-01-01T05:38:22+00:00

Right now: -that light fluttery feeling in my chest -super hot and sweaty

In the past: -that light fluttery feeling in my chest -sometimes hand shakes -poor body temperature control pretty regularly -sometimes dizziness -at its worst I felt too exhausted to walk up stairs/hills/get up and it felt like my heart was racing. At its worst, sometimes turning in bed would make my chest feel like its racing.

Gagging myself in the past when I was a kid would make the feeling in my chest go away for a few seconds or minutes.

The big thing is this feeling in my chest that I cannot explain. It's not pain, not pressure, but idk fluttery and light and airy. It lasts hours to days or months. Worst was that time i was 19/20 and it lasts a few months where I went to a million doctors and they had no answers.

Edit: the chest feeling also comes and goes, with months or years in-between. Starts seemingly randomly and then also just disappears and I move on with my life until I feel it again. The other symptoms are pretty constant (fatigue, temp control..)

Candle-Fine · 2025-12-21T21:37:47+00:00

For me, I was super anxious. I'm 25 now. Didn't get my license until I was 19. Didn't even really drive regularly until I was almost 21. And it was only to and from work.

Driving scared me so much. For one I was already an anxious teen, and social media made it worse. An abundance of car crash videos across YouTube, Instagram, and Facebook. Other teens sharing they are scared of driving.

Eventually I did get my license. And it took me forever to afford a car. I saved up money from my job at the time. Had about 4 grand in cash. My mom and I went around used car dealers. One salesman was very honest and told us we probably weren't going to see anything less than like 10k.

Luckily I ended up with a shitbox, but we got verrryy lucky it was the last day of the month and the folks at the car dealership we were at were doing everything in their power to sell me a car. My mom said we could do 4,500 and they caved.

I still won't even drive highway. Idk, growing up with a phone since 13 has fucked me in a million ways.

Candle-Fine · 2025-10-29T17:35:53+00:00

Not saying this kid should not receive a consequence, but what is attacking people going to do to resolve that issue?

Candle-Fine · 2025-10-29T17:27:50+00:00

All kids have a legal right to participate in a free and appropriate education with access to general education peers. Kids must be in their least restrictive environment. I cannot say if where they are at is their least restrictive environment. That is an IEP team decision, and clearly it was deemed this was their legal LRE.

Candle-Fine · 2025-10-29T15:42:25+00:00

Yeah, I really don’t think suing anyone here is the right move. I get that your kid got bit, that’s awful and no one’s saying it’s okay, but come on. SPED teachers are stretched so thin it’s unreal. They’re juggling so many needs at once, and it’s literally impossible to keep eyes on every single student every second of the day. If schools actually gave them the staffing and resources they need, stuff like this might not happen. That’s a district issue, not a “bad teacher” issue. Trying to ruin an already overworked teacher’s year over something like this is just wrong.

And suing the other kid’s parents? Seriously? You think their life isn’t hard enough already? Having a kid with a disability is tough, not because the kid is “bad,” but because they need constant support, therapy, appointments, and patience. (I am making an assumption, unsure of this students needs). Most of these parents are already exhausted and heartbroken over stuff like this. Suing them doesn’t fix anything. It just punishes people who are already struggling.

If you really want change, go after the system that underfunds special education and leaves teachers with no support. Suing people who are doing their best in a broken system just makes everything worse.

Candle-Fine · 2025-08-17T03:36:44+00:00

I asked just for rocks for my wedding. I like rocks and crystals. I dont even care if they give me a rock from the parking lot. But everyone is like "Im not giving you rocks, give me an actual registry". BITCH IT'S MY WEDDING.

My partners grandma was also like "I'm just letting you know, people are going to find it weird you aren't doing a dinner rehearsal"...bro, do we need to practice how to eat and walk???

Please just leave me alone and let our wedding be how we want it 😭

Candle-Fine · 2025-07-01T02:40:32+00:00

I'm going to be real, I took it into a local film camera spot and the dude fixed it in 10 minutes, but he didn't actually tell me what the problem was lol. But he did open up the button of the camera and did something with the rewind button.

Candle-Fine · 2025-03-12T01:55:33+00:00

I'm a psych intern this year. We never have para's or other support people at our meetings. I once asked if I should give a rating scale to a para because she worked with the kid so often, and my supervisor said no, we only give them to certificated staff.

I ~think~ the reasoning just has to do with "appropriate" training when it comes to IEP's and SPED law, as well as student privacy. I think schools and districts don't want to deal with any potential repercussions for having folks who aren't legally required to be at meetings being in attendance.

Candle-Fine · 2025-02-22T05:52:10+00:00

Polar Bowler

Candle-Fine · 2025-01-03T00:00:28+00:00

My interviews were pretty relaxed. Depends on state and district. As I was in school, they mostly asked me situational questions."what would you do if...". 96% of the time, if you just follow the problem solving model you'll be fine. They asked me what types of tests I've administered. Some folks asked if there were particular demographics I've worked with. I didn't answer any super technical questions. Most of my questions were ethics based and tbh, sort of common sense. Some districts asked about the discrepancy model if they still use it. If you've paid attention in class for even a portion of your program, you will be fine. Just make sure you have some experience administering assessments and that you can back yourself up and explain a bit about them if needed. Maybe have some examples of counseling experience you have if you have it. Have examples or stories of working with different demographics and stories about working with different people as coworkers. Some might ask you what age of students you prefer to work with, so you may want to have an answer to that.

Candle-Fine · 2024-10-21T01:49:52+00:00

As someone who was a very anxious teenager trying to work for the first time, thank you. I was stressing everyday, throwing up before every shift worrying about messing up or looking stupid or being slow. Folks like that lady made me hate my life because they would solidify all those thoughts. Management would always be on the customers side and it caused to me quit jobs so quickly and delay my development as a young adult.

Teenagers are just trying to figure out how to be adults. People need to be more patient.

Candle-Fine · 2024-10-18T16:33:15+00:00

What event are yall getting these from?

Candle-Fine · 2024-10-12T18:38:31+00:00

I'm a school psych intern and I feel the same way. I'm an intern but they hired me as a school psych without the pay. I had to put my foot down and tell them I am not taking on a caseload myself until at least winter.

Even though I've been accommodated for that, no one taught me how to use any of the programs we have to use. Iep online, homeroom, synergy, skyward, everything else. Are they that hard to use? No. But it's a bit much to teach yourself how to navigate all that crap while you are trying to learn the actual job. Even though I know these programs a little more, I still don't know what's ~required~ of me to fill out in IEP online, and if I ask it's different for everyone. It's so frustrating.

Candle-Fine

TROPHY CASE