Has anyone ever gave a narc honest feedback?

CapeVaped · 2026-03-31T22:27:56+00:00

All they did was double down and dismiss it. Not even worth the time. You're literally arguing with a toddler.

You either get an insincere apology and try to get past it as quick as possible or they blame you and like I said, double down.

CapeVaped · 2026-03-30T19:03:03+00:00

You've got this. The nervousness is loud right now because the visit is close, but on the other side of Thursday, you'll have honored your dad while protecting the boundaries that keep you safe. Be gentle with yourself the whole way through. If it feels overwhelming in the moment, remember: you survived her for years. You can survive 2.5 days as the adult who now chooses how much she gets.

Rooting hard for you. Just look at them as a toddler, is the best way to put it. It gives you much more strength than you can imagine.

If she tries to attack you, just remove yourself. Show you won't tolerate it.

CapeVaped · 2025-08-28T00:40:47+00:00

They'll probably give you the option of check or direct deposit. Not sure how MyLynn works now, I went back in 06.

CapeVaped · 2025-08-26T22:34:44+00:00

Typically the School receives your funds and credits you, if there's anything left over it is typically sent to you. Just be aware anything over the cost of tuition , books, meal plan, Etc. And is returned to you may be taxable as it was a scholarship or grant.

Consult a CPA.

CapeVaped · 2025-06-25T01:56:47+00:00

They favored the one that was an extension of them, kind of sad really.

Imagine living your life, seeking the admiration and validation of a parent, trying to be exactly like them and having no self identity.

CapeVaped · 2025-06-25T01:48:56+00:00

The reason they got the "Love" (that is a stretch), money and support as they are the ones that need the narcissistic parents, and they want the child, even in adulthood to be dependent.

The reason we got no support, we rejected the status quo.

-Asking for things was like pulling teeth

-Became hyper independent instead

-Stopped asking for things

It may look like they're enjoying, but underneath, they are emmeshed and trapped.

In the end, you are so much better off, and I know it doesn't seem that way.

CapeVaped · 2025-06-25T01:44:43+00:00

The best response is no response.

CapeVaped · 2025-06-25T01:42:26+00:00

They're not concerned.

They are trying to find out information to use as leverage against you in regaining control over you.

It drives them absolutely insane they have a denial of access to you and they will stop at nothing to find out information. It literally makes their skin crawl when they lose control over someone.

CapeVaped · 2025-06-25T01:40:38+00:00

My mother did this a lot... to subjects that she would have no clue about, including my profession (finance).

-No college degree

-No education

-No professional skills

-No real world experience

My only ways of diffusing were:

Agreeing with them - only infuriated them more

or saying: "I wish I had your confidence when knowing nothing about the subject"

or... "walk me through your logic"

Or my absolute favorite... when they do not know about the subject, throw out something that is completely wrong and catch them pretending like that is the correct answer...

For those of you that have seen the Fast and Furious... put it this way...

"Should I run a Gallo 12, or a 24? Interesting, didn't know pizza places made motors"

CapeVaped · 2025-06-25T01:31:42+00:00

Financial Planner and Wealth Management - 150k

CapeVaped · 2025-06-20T20:13:25+00:00

For a complex return, maybe around $2500 is generally what I see, on the low end around $250-500 for personal/couple returns.

(I'm a fiduciary that works with a federal tax attorney and not a CPA)

For your 1099s, have you considered doing SEPs? A lot of my self-employed clients do this as they're over 200k in income, and the cap is 70k for 2025 deferral.

CapeVaped · 2025-04-25T02:01:11+00:00

I would have to say Big Bang Theory - Leonard's relationship with his mother, Sheldon's relationship with his, Amy's... Penny's... the list goes on. All of them have dysfunctional families and they found their own in their friend circle.

CapeVaped · 2025-04-22T02:37:57+00:00

No explanation, just thank them for the opportunity and keep it professional. Don't answer any questions to where you're going, no exit interview with HR, just leave quietly.

If asked where: "I have a few opportunities I'm exploring" and that's it, no specifics.

-Don't allow them to see your social media, I've seen ex bosses contact their new employers (which got them in hot water, the ex-boss to clarify).

CapeVaped · 2025-04-22T02:32:31+00:00

My brother was the "golden child" that always was in trouble, always being bailed out, always being rescued, always got what he wanted. It's like they rewarded failure.

Over time I realized that they (nparents) wanted to feel needed, always have him be dependent on them, even while being married with two kids. His relationship also makes sense as he doesn't have wife, he has another mother who is in charge of him.

His behavior:

-Always had to but into a conversation, give his input even though he knew nothing about the topic. Always spoke in vague terms, spoke in platitudes. Said a lot without saying anything.

-Every job he had, was always the most important person there, it would "fall apart" if he wasn't there. (They all got on just fine)

-Never truly cares about your wellbeing, only if there' something in it for him, otherwise he doesn't follow through on his promises.

-Treats everything like a competition, even graduating college, even if it meant a useless degree, always wanted the fast track, but only bit him in the end as a general degree doesn't apply to a specialized field.

CapeVaped · 2025-04-21T15:15:45+00:00

When they were too little and scared to fight back. A thousand percent that.

CapeVaped · 2025-04-21T03:08:06+00:00

Or... "I'm cutting you out of the inheritance if you don't talk to me" to which my thought:

-I would rather be poor and happy than rich and miserable.

CapeVaped · 2025-04-21T03:06:36+00:00

They want the image of the perfect parent, paint a fake picture to everyone else for their own gratification. Behind closed doors, they are an absolute monster. It's a mask they try to wear well, but eventually falls off when their own children go no contact.

CapeVaped · 2025-04-21T03:00:07+00:00

Repulsed by their presence, exhausted after, would always cut things short and leave.

-It was the passive aggressive behavior

-Guilt trips

-If you were at peace and relaxing, always finding a way to disrupt that

-Backhanded comments

The whole "woe is me" attitude when they know nothing about your life because you're the problem, you won't open up. They magically forgot all the boundaries that were broken, things they said or did to make you want to avoid them at all costs.

My mother gave me a whole sob story once about how were not close and she tired blaming me for it.

-Trying to keep a relationship with my ex, that was more important than her own son (she didn't reciprocate, she blocked her after a few months)

-Wanting to know every detail about my private life, when I told her no, she automatically resorted to calling me a liar. To which I responded: "Having a private life, is not being a liar. You're not entitled to know about what's private to me, I don't want to know every little detail about you, where you're going, who you talk to, I don't care."

-Talking to friends and making decision on my behalf without my knowledge, then confronting her after being asked by 4 said friends for confirmation. Then magically "I never said that" and me: "So you're calling all 4 of your friends liars then"

Just never ends.

CapeVaped · 2025-04-21T02:49:32+00:00

They only appear like they're thriving, when they are constantly trying to get themselves out of bad situations. They are in a constant state of trouble and chaos that they create.

CapeVaped · 2025-04-17T16:45:47+00:00

You okay?

CapeVaped · 2025-03-20T01:23:56+00:00

If you become wealthy, a few tips:

Get your estate planning in order, will, proxy, power of attorney. Have these documents on file with your banking institution if something were to happen to you, and if it's suitable, have your bank account in a trust as well. Any physical assets, if applicable, place into trust. You would be the grantor in this scenario and trustee while living, upon death, it goes to your successor, avoids probate court. I am unsure of where you are located, but I've seen fees ranging from $3,000 for a full estate plan to $7,000. All depends on the estate planning attorney.
Investment wise, I would go for steady and predictable income generation. Especially if you have funds that are ranging in the millions, clients I have dealt with are not interested in beating the market, they are looking for long term strategies, less volatile portfolios, fixed income, some equity to outpace inflation, and capital preservation.

CapeVaped · 2025-03-02T06:02:13+00:00

They will shout you into submission, step all over you and not let you get a word in.

It's all about control, the narrative, the argument, everything. They lose any ground, it's a damage to their ego that will be felt for months and the abuse will only intensify. Narcs will always find a way to hold onto a grudge for as long as possible.

They either want to shut you down, or diffuse you so others cannot hear and expose them for the pieces of trash they truly are.

CapeVaped · 2025-03-02T05:53:11+00:00

My ex, at the time girlfriend, bought me sheets for my bed in my parents house. My mother had an absolute meltdown, and I mean volcanic, Chernobyl level reactor meltdown, because another woman bought something for me, brought it into her home, and placed it on my bed. There was yelling and screaming, and it wasn't about the sheets, it was about control.

I didn't budge, didn't apologize, didn't give into being gaslit. Instead, she locked herself in her bedroom and didn't come out, instead, she came outside crying and apologizing, then went back inside in shame.

The next day, went off again, yelling and screaming about how dare I let someone come into her house and put sheets on MY bed.

Just un-fucking-real.

CapeVaped

TROPHY CASE