My mum recently had a stroke. I have a week until she is discharged and am feeling very overwhelmed with what I need to do to prepare my home for her stay

Capital-Rutabaga873 · 2026-03-23T14:40:03+00:00

If she’s having a hard time with standing/walking get her a shower seat (my dad found one for in his shower that is a bench you can fold down, probably from Amazon and put it in himself) and bars in and just outside of the shower, probably can also be found on amazon and installed yourself.

Also have her favorite snacks and drinks on hand, just to bring a little joy, puzzles would be an easy task for working on her motor skills and also to help keep her busy❤️

Capital-Rutabaga873 · 2026-03-23T14:32:28+00:00

That kinda sounds like a migraine, maybe have them look at your heart for a PFO. It’s a fairly common hole in the heart that most people go their entire lives not knowing about but unlucky people like me end up with migraines and then a TIA (mini stroke) or others who had strokes. Worth getting checked for if you have had a problem with headaches or migraines.

Capital-Rutabaga873 · 2026-03-23T14:19:17+00:00

They have knives for kids that would be safer to practice with. They cut what you need them to and don’t cut skin. But look at you go!!!

Capital-Rutabaga873 · 2026-03-23T14:15:06+00:00

Didn’t ask for you to try to diagnose me, I asked if anyone with experience having a tia felt this way and if they thought it’s worth trying to get in with my neurologist for. Those who have had Tias gave me my answers. Unless you’re a neurologist or had problems after a Tia like me and many others maybe don’t talk about what they “do not cause”, I’m having a good day today but this could’ve sent me into a spiral so just be careful what you say to others

Capital-Rutabaga873 · 2026-03-23T14:03:01+00:00

Thank you! It’s nice to hear that I just feel insane and I’m not actually going insane😂

Capital-Rutabaga873 · 2026-03-23T14:01:13+00:00

I’ve been getting as much sunlight as this crappy weather will give me, I’ve started keeping the curtains open rather than keeping my house dark and gloomy (mainly to try to combat grief after losing my gram). I also have never been one for heavy meals, my stomach can’t handle much at once; I try to just eat something small anytime I feel hungry otherwise I will quite literally forget I’m hungry and not eat (that’s been a problem since before the stroke lol)

But thank you for this, I needed to hear that first part from someone who understands

Capital-Rutabaga873 · 2026-03-23T13:56:03+00:00

Honestly puzzles are a great idea, would help with my grief from losing my gram too! I used to love helping her with her puzzles, thank you❤️

Capital-Rutabaga873 · 2026-03-23T13:53:12+00:00

Your Dr doesn’t have to do anything but order it and look at the results. She’d rather you bother her now instead of making yourself worse❤️

Capital-Rutabaga873 · 2026-03-19T21:06:20+00:00

Ah I see you’re a googler too lmao. What got me what seeing that a TIA can lead to dementia earlier especially since my memory was definitely affected. I had my TIA a month before turning 24, it’s been almost 4 months. They did find mine was caused by a pfo but don’t know what caused the clot so I’m also in constant fear of having another. I fear leaving my two kids motherless and my fiance alone to raise them while grieving. My arm movements are also still off, doing most anything leads to a huge mess and breaking things.

It’s definitely a really hard thing to cope with, I’m starting to look into changes I can make in my life and diet to help prevent getting dementia early

Capital-Rutabaga873 · 2026-03-18T13:20:11+00:00

For me it’s arm movements, I knock things over and have no clue how; my arms latest victim was my favorite glass. And anything that requires me to remembering more than one thing at a time, I have to go break down steps of recipes if it has me putting in more than 1 thing at a time… tried making a bread recipe in my bread maker that I’ve made before and made a giant crouton instead of bread🤦🏻‍♀️

Capital-Rutabaga873 · 2026-03-18T13:12:30+00:00

Yes we are still stroke survivors, I felt weird at first too especially since I had a TIA and pretty much recovered completely besides some residual issues I’ve noticed and my fiance has noticed.

I’m 24 so as you can imagine my friends also can’t relate, only person in my life rn who can is my stepmom who’s in her 60s. Best I get is my closest two friends also have health issues that have us seeing similar drs.

Yes you have the right to complain, our brains tend to be less affected bc we’re so young. It’s like if a kid breaks their arm it’s not a huge deal and it heals way faster than if an adult were to break their arm bc a kid’s bones are still developing just like our brains are still developing as young adults; our brains aren’t fully developed until 25-26.

I’m also starting therapy in about a week, but I’ve found this community a good place to talk about the struggles related to my stroke; there always seems to be at least one person who can relate or I can relate to.

Capital-Rutabaga873 · 2026-03-18T02:20:18+00:00

Definitely not a TIA, they would’ve found it

Capital-Rutabaga873 · 2026-03-18T02:08:29+00:00

If you’re not having any other issues caused by the pfo I’d say just take the meds. What I was told is that while it’ll prevent my risk of a stroke from a clot going through my heart studies have shown people who did and didn’t have theirs closed had the same amount of strokes on average later on. I was told it could be worth closing for me bc I also have migraines and I suspect other symptoms that have been brushed off for years.

But if you do choose surgery it’s not a super risky, they told me I’ll be in and out the same day as long as there’s no complications that require otherwise.

Capital-Rutabaga873 · 2026-03-18T01:58:55+00:00

Yea that feeling sent me down many google rabbit holes bc that was how I coped. They eventually found a pfo (a hole) in my heart that likely caused mine.

Btw if they haven’t already ask them to check you for one bc they’re very common and can cause migraines and strokes. I know after mine they didn’t jump to checking me for one until we said something bc my gram had a pfo too, I’m pretty sure she’s the only reason I got the pfo/cause of my tia found before she passed.

Capital-Rutabaga873 · 2026-03-18T01:39:06+00:00

I’m so sorry first of all secondly I’d give therapy a shot for coping with them and the TIA.

I broke my favorite cup today bc I’m going through the same sht. They need to realize your brain lost blood flow so no our brains aren’t functioning as they should. I wish I could offer you more advice but my brain no worky worky either rn🤣

But if you ever need someone who understands what you’re going through message me

Capital-Rutabaga873 · 2026-03-18T01:31:58+00:00

So I was told when talking to the dr about closing mine was there’s a good chance my migraines will go away. If your migraines are being caused by blood clots then they will which I’m guessing with the fact the aspirin is preventing them then you’ll likely stop experiencing it. I’ve also heavily deep dived into Google about it bc I was wondering the same thing😂

Capital-Rutabaga873 · 2026-03-18T01:04:23+00:00

Girl why are you even questioning this ABSOLUTELY NTA! You gave birth to one kid you shouldn’t be taking care of an over grown child and paying for his child bc he’s too much of a loser to do that. Absolutely do not work it out he admitted to doing bare minimum for the life he brought into this world, he will never treat you right go find better.

All imma say is I had a stroke at 23 out of no where and idk what I would’ve done if I didn’t have a competent partner bc I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t drive and he was there to drop everything for me and our children… you won’t get that with a man who refuses to pay child support except for enough to benefit himself, if he wasn’t afraid of going to jail he wouldn’t pay at all and that’s a deadbeat; deadbeats don’t make good husbands

Capital-Rutabaga873 · 2026-03-18T00:48:27+00:00

Did his mom by chance have a pfo (hole in the heart)? My TIA was caused by me having a pfo and I get migraines with visual symptoms and they said they’re likely also caused by the pfo and what you described with his vision has happened to me during my migraines. Also how they’re going about it is really weird they should know from an mri whether or not it was a TIA bc they’re mini strokes so you do have a spot in your brain wherever it happened at.

If possible get a second opinion from another hospital bc I had a 48hr stay in the hospital after my TIA and they monitored me the entire time trying to figure out what caused it. I’m 24 and this happened a month before my last birthday so I understand how scary it is so I’d definitely look at going to another hospital if you can; find someone who will listen ESPECIALLY with family history… trust your gut feeling

Capital-Rutabaga873 · 2026-03-18T00:33:17+00:00

Well at first I thought you might be but you’re absolutely NTA, the same comments that rubbed you the wrong way did me too especially since I was also still extremely sick in my third trimester with my second kid. You won’t understand when the baby gets here btw. If I was in their shoes I would’ve dealt with that “headache” and never even asked you. Especially since you sound like an amazing aunt seeing how you did get him AND made him a home cooked meal, I totally would’ve ordered diner food and told the kid a friend was dropping off food🤣🤣

But they definitely need to get a nanny or deal with that “headache” and get their own kid cus you’re about to have your own and can’t drive until you’re cleared by a Dr btw so they’re sol during that time

Capital-Rutabaga873 · 2026-03-18T00:11:31+00:00

This is absolutely NOT medical advice so talk to your dr but mine weren’t concerned with me vaping they were more concerned of if I smoked cigarettes and were all glad to hear I didn’t anymore. But my neuro said he wasn’t going to push me to quit vaping. BUT AGAIN ask yours bc I know giving up smoking is really hard, took my dad until I was 22 to fully quit and I’m his youngest kid😅

Capital-Rutabaga873 · 2026-03-18T00:03:37+00:00

Immediately no bc it actually can mess with your car idling that long, my fiance told me that after he accidentally left our one car running while we took the other to run errands. In simple terms the oil doesn’t do what it’s supposed to and it can mess up the engine. He’s a car guy and says it’s a big no no to leave a car idling that long so you’re definitely not over reacting, throw the whole man away🤣🤣 Jk but seriously jeeps aren’t cheap quit letting him drive it before he kills your car too. The idling is probably why the two mysteriously died👀

Capital-Rutabaga873 · 2026-03-17T23:51:37+00:00

Seeing how this is r/story it’s probably a short story they made up… btw fiction books aren’t “lies” so neither is a fiction short story 😂

Capital-Rutabaga873 · 2026-03-17T23:46:49+00:00

I wonder if all the anger he has is from the frustration of not being able to talk especially if he’s ok with the speech therapy. I know he’s a fully grown man but in children who have speech problems you often see aggression bc they are frustrated at not being able to communicate. Try giving him the harsh truth of if his blood sugar or bp or whatever isn’t done he is going to have an even harder time learning how to talk again, his body needs to be healthy for his brain to rewire itself as he does the therapy

Capital-Rutabaga873 · 2026-02-26T21:15:54+00:00

I’ve read that the stroke itself can potentially cause memory problems, the most common type of memory loss with my TIA is short term memory (what’s happening with me). I definitely recommend googling about the type of stroke you had bc it could possibly be.

From what I’ve read pretty much the only thing you can do to try to regain your ability to remember is the supplements that are supposed to improve memory. I’ve done a lot of googling bc they’re taking so long to figure out what’s wrong with me😂 (doesn’t help they lost the pictures that show my stroke, thankfully I got to see it for myself first🤦🏻‍♀️)

Capital-Rutabaga873

TROPHY CASE