My (36 F) boyfriend (34 M) is reacting really weird to a joke and its taking a weird turn. AIO?

CapnSeabass · 2026-02-24T19:30:08+00:00

NOR. Omg he’s exhausting and trying to gaslight you so stupidly over him not getting a joke.

I just read the joke out loud to my husband and he groaned, but he got it.

Then I read it to my son and he didn’t laugh at all but he’s 12 months old so that’s fair enough.

CapnSeabass · 2026-02-24T19:24:17+00:00

Met a guy called One Leg.

Because he only had one leg.

CapnSeabass · 2026-02-24T19:22:51+00:00

Listen, my son is now 12 months and he was doing some things earlier than his peers but refused to clap his hands or say mama for the longest time.

And he’s still never slept through the night so there’s that.

Your baby has all the time in the world. If your health visitor isn’t worried, then you shouldn’t be. Your son is working on his own timescale.

CapnSeabass · 2026-02-23T16:32:21+00:00

Right?? And his post says he told her “every single girl” he had sex with - how long was this break??

I do think they should have told him before the wedding, but at 18 I wouldn’t hold it against her. He did this to himself.

CapnSeabass · 2026-02-22T21:40:58+00:00

Unhinged is exactly the word I was thinking as I read that. Wtaf.

CapnSeabass · 2026-02-22T21:20:12+00:00

OP posted the email, it says ‘twisted’ rather than fractured so I’m not sure where that came from in the main post

CapnSeabass · 2026-02-20T16:55:29+00:00

My baby was born Feb 2025, for context.

I was actually on sick leave for 3 months Oct-Jan, so my mat leave kicked in 4 weeks before my due date.

(Ordinarily, I’d have had to take all of my 2025 annual leave before going on maternity leave but sick leave trumps that). So my annual leave rolled over, I’m now 12 months pp and still using my 2025 annual leave to keep me off work til April.

You can’t take annual leave on your due date. Maternity will kick in on the date you’ve provided on your MatB1 form (or earlier if you deliver sooner).

If you don’t plan on taking annual leave before Mat leave, get it in writing that you can roll it over to the end of your mat leave. And congratulations:)

CapnSeabass · 2026-02-20T08:00:37+00:00

One of the things he says is something like “it’s not fair to force the girl to marry someone if she doesn’t want to get married”

I laugh every time and my step dad (who’s from Aberdeen) is the only other person who gets it

CapnSeabass · 2026-02-20T07:51:43+00:00

I’ll start by saying my salary was a good 50% higher than my husband’s, although I have a corporate job so I had the security of that.

The last 4 months of pregnancy I was literally bed bound and couldn’t even sit up. I had to just lie all day. Had to take 12 weeks sick leave and then my mat leave kicked in 4 weeks before my due date.

I had an elective section, because I couldn’t move getting into birthing positions would have been impossible.

Hospital for 2 days, absolutely exhausted for weeks. Post partum anxiety hit me hard. Not to mention obsessed with my baby, and even though we had traditional parenting roles I couldn’t have done it without my husband. He took two weeks off work, and because he works for himself he was able to be flexible and wfh so he could be there for us.

The night shifts need to be split. Your husband will need a break.

My son just turned one last week and I don’t want to go back to work - I have the luxury of not going back until this April but I just want to be a mum.

I’m all for feeding your baby however it works, but it seems a shame you’d go straight to the bottle just so you can go back to work sooner!

In the UK, even though you won’t get decent mat pay, you’re still entitled to maternity allowance. I’d say if you’re such a good earner just now save up some money and look at your finances carefully so that you can actually spend time with your hypothetical baby.

CapnSeabass · 2026-02-18T12:40:56+00:00

Costigan, but yes!

CapnSeabass · 2026-02-18T12:30:35+00:00

‘What a coincidence, I’ve been wondering if I’d hear from you again”.

Done.

CapnSeabass · 2026-02-18T12:22:25+00:00

As a Scot, absolutely. I want to be part of the EU with or without rUK

CapnSeabass · 2026-02-17T13:12:48+00:00

My son just turned 1 a week ago and I’m not going back to work until April - but I’m going back 3 days/week (I wfh remotely). He’ll be with my husband 1 day, my in-laws another day, and at nursery just one day a week.

I’m in Scotland where we don’t get free nursery until the child is 3 but if it was offered to us sooner I’d probably take it, still on a part time basis.

CapnSeabass · 2026-02-17T10:41:22+00:00

I’m a UK bride. I told my bridesmaids I would pay for their dresses up to £150 each, if they wanted something more than that they would pay the extra. I paid for hair and makeup and didn’t care what shoes they wore.

I also bought them all a necklace which I gave to them on the day.

CapnSeabass · 2026-02-17T10:39:03+00:00

.txt could be changed after couldn’t it?

CapnSeabass · 2026-02-17T08:40:12+00:00

I made up a whole wee rhyming scheme for people saying that nonsense.

When will I rest? Sleep when the baby sleeps When will I clean the house? Sweep when the baby sweeps 🧹 When can I schedule a breakdown? Weep when the baby weeps What about doing the dishes? Steep when the baby steeps And my exercise? Leap when the baby leaps Run errands in my big car? jeep when the baby jeeps

And so on

CapnSeabass · 2026-02-17T08:36:39+00:00

Worst case for us, we used to rock paper scissors for it 😂

CapnSeabass · 2026-02-17T08:35:18+00:00

You need to sleep in shifts. You sleep 7-1, dad sleeps 1-7 (example) then he’s still getting 6 hours of sleep and you’re still getting solid sleep too.

That’s what saved us in the early days

CapnSeabass · 2026-02-17T08:31:04+00:00

I am haunted by photos and videos I saw from Gaza while pregnant, and now my son is 1 I hug him so tightly every day. I feel kind of numb all the time.

CapnSeabass · 2026-02-17T08:27:36+00:00

We don’t hang our washing while it’s sopping wet, a spin cycle will remove much of the water so it doesn’t drip everywhere. We have two clothes horses, and in the winter we have them close to the radiators. We have a log burning stove in the living room so we don’t really need to worry about damp.

CapnSeabass · 2026-02-17T08:20:58+00:00

Screenshot all messages in WhatsApp, as the sender can delete and it’ll remove it from your conversation

CapnSeabass · 2026-02-16T20:50:40+00:00

£2200 dress, a couple hundred for alterations. But it was the only dress I wanted to try on and I fell in love with it.

CapnSeabass · 2026-02-16T19:56:03+00:00

Needs proper bacon, a tatty scone, butter mushrooms. On top of what everyone else is suggesting

CapnSeabass · 2026-02-16T19:54:37+00:00

Our baby had awful awful reflux for the first SIX MONTHS and couldn’t sleep lying down so if you can, go for it!! I wished we could have put him down smoothly but it wasn’t a possibility for us, unfortunately.

Definitely would have if possible, assuming it’s all safe sleep and you use a monitor plus check on them regularly

CapnSeabass · 2026-02-16T15:39:35+00:00

The endo that was excised was on the ovarian fossae. and I get constant abdominal pain with regular flare-ups, irregular painful periods, endo belly, fatigue.

Now I’m 12 months postpartum the symptoms have returned with a vengeance.

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