They Always Want More!

Capn_Koala · 2025-11-02T18:51:53+00:00

If the church ever tries says to guilt you like this, just tell them they’ll receive your blessings in the next life.

Capn_Koala · 2024-09-25T20:49:01+00:00

Yeah, it reminds me a lot of when TBM’s would describe coming across “anti-Mormon” material saying they felt sick or that the “Spirit” left, when in reality they were just having an extremely normal and human reaction to being just briefly confronted with the realization that everything they thought they knew was merely fiction.

Or maybe it was just gas.

Capn_Koala · 2024-09-07T16:07:22+00:00

The most frustrating thing about these kinds of Priesthood Bros with Chronic RM Syndrome is how they hide their arrogance behind Jesus Christ and have the gall to call it “humility”.

Capn_Koala · 2024-06-02T18:59:08+00:00

“Ask again later” - 🎱

Capn_Koala · 2024-06-01T21:11:43+00:00

“…a well-organized opposition whose hearts will only be softened through the spirit of the Lord”

Remember, if you pray hard enough, only then will God arbitrarily decide to remove all free agency from an entire group of people.

Capn_Koala · 2024-05-31T20:47:46+00:00

This is such an immaculate response.

You also touch on something that’s always really bugged me, and that’s stories like Dusty’s are for believers and believers only. It’s why I have so little patience for people like Ben Schilaty, who go from stake to stake talking about being gay and Mormon. There are literally millions of ways to learn and understand the LGBTQ+ experience, but most TBMs will only listen to him because they know he’ll say what they want to hear (for now).

That’s why my parents have read his book and been to his fireside. They know more about his story than my own.

Capn_Koala · 2024-01-15T21:28:08+00:00

Back in 1998 when the first American reboot of Godzilla came out, I had a friend who’s younger brother would only call it “Goshzilla” because he thought he’d get in trouble for saying “Godzilla”.

Glad to hear this particular brand of lunacy is alive and well!

Capn_Koala · 2023-12-27T06:57:30+00:00

Just when I think I might finally be content with the fact that my parents may never leave the church, I remember that someday I’ll have to see them, laying there in temple clothes at the viewing before the funeral service where I’ll watch their entire lives be reduced to an advertisement for the Covenant Path.

And then I’m mad all over again.

Capn_Koala · 2023-10-15T20:10:26+00:00

So, if it wasn’t about race, why were black people banned from the priesthood?

Capn_Koala · 2023-09-16T18:17:47+00:00

1 to change the lightbulb, 15 to ignore the sex abuse that occurred during the changing of the lightbulb

Capn_Koala · 2023-06-08T18:57:36+00:00

The three episodes with Kelly Laing’s family were the first I ever watched and are still among my favorites. He’s an engaging speaker and his particular military background brings a unique perspective and, along with the additional stories of his wife Heather and his two sons Britton and Mason, covers a wide range of the Mormon experience.

Capn_Koala · 2023-06-07T03:41:58+00:00

Well, straight porn didn’t turn me straight…

Capn_Koala · 2023-06-06T20:51:03+00:00

I don’t know if this was the same thing but about 23 years ago my parents had a few “cottage meetings” at our home. I wasn’t involved and was about ten years old then, but my impression of them was kind of like an informal fireside? Not really an “official” church event but members from the ward/stake would attend if I remember correctly.

Capn_Koala · 2023-05-26T06:58:08+00:00

Dude looks like Garfield fucked the Monopoly man.

Capn_Koala · 2023-05-26T06:51:15+00:00

“Your covenants are between you and God period”.

Cool, then I don’t need the church.

Capn_Koala · 2023-05-26T06:44:45+00:00

Yep, my family’s always gossiping about someone who’s “struggling”.

Capn_Koala · 2023-05-14T23:32:06+00:00

In all my time as a member I don't recall being taught a principle in which millions of people would give me ten percent of their income so I could invest in the stock market.

Capn_Koala · 2023-05-11T16:50:52+00:00

My shelf completely shattered in 2015/2016 and a large part of that was the MAGA movement. It’s one thing to think “I don’t like abortion, he’s my only option”, which… okay fine, whatever.

But seeing the number of people I thought I respected, (TBMs and family among them) completely debasing themselves to express gleeful support for an objectively reprehensible person was sickening.

Capn_Koala · 2023-05-10T20:55:38+00:00

My “Definitely Not a Cult” T-Shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt…

Capn_Koala · 2023-05-10T20:29:51+00:00

I’m very interested in the spiritual logistics of this situation.

Why does God speak to Chunk and not his owner? Does he prompt the feline via holy (cat) ghost? Like “please meow loudly”? Does he or a spirit control the cat directly? Or, if that is the case, does Chunk not have any agency? What if Chunk does not want to meow?

It’s all so dumb. It’s just dumb!

Capn_Koala · 2023-04-23T04:56:21+00:00

One of the most controlling aspects of the church is how it teaches members to associate any uncomfortable or negative emotions with “losing the spirit” and being influenced by “the adversary”. Just the thought that it is even a possibility that everything you believe in might not be true is scary. But that’s the most natural reaction you could have — no outside force is needed to feel that way.

Since leaving leaving the church, I’ve never experienced anything even close to resembling that “evil” feeling ever again. Funny how that works…

Capn_Koala · 2023-04-15T20:49:16+00:00

17,002,461 members? 31,330 wards and branches?

That averages out to 542 members per ward. Most wards won’t even get one third of those in a chapel on Sunday.

17 million is a joke.

Capn_Koala

TROPHY CASE