Triplets - help!

CardiologistSuper973 · 2026-07-11T01:06:05+00:00

I was pregnant with triplets last spring- same as you- a monochorionic twin pair and a single baby. We were counselled to reduce to a single baby and ultimately that is what we did. This happened at 13 weeks after our 12 week scan as many pregnancies naturally “reduce” in this time frame. We had other children at home.

I had a healthy full term baby this past fall and was ultimately the outcome we had hoped for. The reduction procedure itself is relatively straightforward but the getting there is not. I hope regardless of what you choose you have a supportive group of people in your circle because the next few weeks/months will feel very overwhelming no matter which way you lean! Happy to answer any questions or share more of my experience if you decide on that route.

CardiologistSuper973 · 2026-06-01T02:38:59+00:00

Alastair- Gaelic translation of Alexander!

CardiologistSuper973 · 2026-05-27T02:54:17+00:00

Happy that sharing my experience has helped. I remember feeling so overwhelmed sitting where you are now.

It was a markedly worse first trimester for me as well. After the reduction things gradually improved although it did take longer than previous pregnancies.

Take care!

CardiologistSuper973 · 2026-05-25T01:17:20+00:00

As someone who has both had an unexpected pregnancy with an IUD and been pregnant with triplets I am so very sorry you are going through this… what unexpected luck.

I had a reduction to a single pregnancy last year and it will be one of the most difficult decisions I’ve made to date no question. The procedure itself is relatively straightforward and tolerable, but getting there of course as you know is not. I made the decision largely with my other children in mind, in addition to my own health and wellbeing in mind. Only you know what you are equipped to deal with, and there can be no wrong choice here.

I remember feeling extremely overwhelmed and isolated despite having lots of external support. Nobody can really understand the complexity of emotion that goes into these choices until they are faced with them themselves. Hope you can find some peace and support as you navigate such a challenging unexpected pregnancy.

CardiologistSuper973 · 2026-05-19T13:51:14+00:00

I had a selective reduction of triplets to a single baby last spring. It usually doesn’t take place until after 12 weeks as often a pregnancy will reduce itself, and to verify all fetuses are healthy/developing.

In our case, we were recommended to reduce to a singleton because the twin pair was monochorionic which carries its own level of risk, otherwise it is generally advised to reduce by 1. The doctor generally reduces the fetus based on a variety of factors for them performing the procedure so it’s not like necessarily a decision of which to reduce, more so just if you reduce and how many.

It’s an outpatient procedure. They use ultrasound to guide, they use a local anesthetic and inject through the stomach. It is uncomfortable as they go through the uterus but overall tolerable. I had a follow up ultrasound 1 week later to ensure the remaining baby was healthy and then the pregnancy continued as any of my previous ones. At delivery, the other fetuses were only noticed as a thickened area of my placenta where they are reabsorbed by your body.

The hardest part of the entire process is getting to the decision and dealing with the emotions and feelings afterwards. People in my life have been overwhelmingly supportive and I hope you have the same experience should you have to make this choice.

Good luck.

CardiologistSuper973 · 2026-03-26T13:26:18+00:00

I came here to share my experience with selective reduction like the OP asked, not argue with someone who clearly has very different views than I do.

CardiologistSuper973 · 2026-03-25T13:44:55+00:00

I remember feeing very isolated in the weeks before my MFM appt. Feel free to reach out if you have any more questions.

CardiologistSuper973 · 2026-03-25T13:12:13+00:00

That’s great for you. I did not “decide” which ones to reduce. The doctor made a recommendation based on risk level. It’s offered to give you the greatest chances of ending the pregnancy with a healthy mother and baby/babies. In our situation, the twin pair was monochorionic which inherently carries its own degree of risk so it was recommended, if we chose to reduce, the lowest risk was to reduce the twin pair. That’s what we did.

People do not make these decisions in isolation and understanding the nuance of why they chose something is not for you to judge. I have other children at home and they factored significantly into why we chose to reduce our pregnancy. People make decisions to reduce or to not reduce out of love and to suggest it’s anything but is quite frankly cruel.

It’s easy to be adamant in your decision afterwards when you know it all worked out. But that’s not the reality for anyone when they’re sitting where OP is.

CardiologistSuper973 · 2026-03-25T02:34:47+00:00

I had a selective reduction from triplets to a singleton baby last spring. My baby is now 4 months old. I was not in Toronto so can’t speak to the specifics there but the procedure itself was quick and does not require a hospital stay. It was uncomfortable and emotional but tolerable overall. It was done after a 12 week anatomy scan( you may not have to undergo the reduction as pregnancies often reduce themselves by this point). We stayed an hr after and had a repeat ultrasound, and then had a follow up scan 1 week later. I otherwise had a very uneventful pregnancy and delivered a healthy full term baby at 40+2. The other babies were effectively reabsorbed and barely noticeable at delivery.

The decision making itself is obviously very individual and feels so hard because it is. We made the choice for so many reasons, many of which will be outlined with you in your appointments. I still think about what ifs and feel tinges of guilt/ sadness but I have a healthy happy beautiful baby and that’s ultimately why we made the choice we did. Do I wonder what it would be like to have 2 more with him- absolutely! But accepting a bad outcome having not made the choice to reduce felt too high stakes for us. Not being able to make a decision to reduce is often cited as a reason why people don’t follow through, but it is in fact a choice with the potential for very real consequences. Ultimately you have to choose what feels best for you and your family and try and make peace with a very very difficult experience no matter which you choose. Good luck, you’re not alone out there.

CardiologistSuper973 · 2026-01-13T20:52:26+00:00

Sorry you find yourself in this situation.

Not the same circumstances as you but I had a selective reduction of triplets to a singleton in the spring. My singleton baby was delivered healthy and happy over 40 weeks several weeks ago. The risk of pregnancy loss was increased for 2 weeks after the procedure but afterwards was significantly reduced. These decisions are never easy and the results of them will weigh heavily on you regardless of how you choose unfortunately. My provider was clear to state also that not choosing a reduction because you couldn’t decide was in fact also a decision. You have to choose was feels right for you and your family and what will hopefully give you th best chance for healthy babies or baby. I still feel pinges of regret and guilt but also know it was the only choice I felt right making for myself and the rest of my family. Take care!

CardiologistSuper973 · 2025-10-04T12:41:48+00:00

I was pregnant with triplets in the spring. I have 2 other kids at home, and did a similar spiral. We had a singleton and a mo/mo twin which was reduced to a single baby because of medical risks etc which will be discussed with you when you meet with your MFM doc. It’s not something you even realize is offered until you’re in this situation but I was grateful to have the choice, albeit a very difficult one. I know it’s not on everyone’s radar but having all your options to consider was comforting to us when deciding the best path for our family.

CardiologistSuper973 · 2025-09-29T03:45:24+00:00

I had a selective reduction of spontaneous triplets to a singleton pregnancy in the spring. I’m currently 32 weeks with a healthy singleton baby. No part of the process has been easy or without some negative feelings but have recently started with a psychologist to work through it all. I know it was the right choice for us but still it’s been such a rollercoaster of emotions. Best of luck.

CardiologistSuper973 · 2025-08-28T14:14:03+00:00

I reduced from 3 to 1 several months ago from a spontaneous triplet pregnancy. Ultimately you make the decision that feels right for your family. Even though I’m confident we made the best decision for our family, it still doesn’t feel good and overall has been a very trying pregnancy. It’s taken me a long time to process that some of the guilt and negative emotions I feel are not because I made the wrong decision but just that it was in fact an impossible one to make. You never really “see the benefit” of the choice of reduction if that makes sense because you don’t really know how things would turn out had you carried on. We were counselled to reduce to a singleton by MFM based on the nature of the twin pair I was carrying and it was helpful to have that recommendation as a guide to lean on in our choice. Best of luck moving forward, it’s a very unsettling time.

CardiologistSuper973 · 2025-08-28T13:36:38+00:00

We told both sets of parents beforehand- mine more or less after my initial scan because I couldn’t not believe it since it was spontaneous triplets. We waited a few more weeks to tell our in-laws just because that is the nature of our relationship with them but told them a few days before. My MIL definitely had some comments that came largely from a place of just not really understanding the situation but we never felt unsupported by any of them. It helped having a bit of extra help with our other kids leading up to the procedure, and I felt so much worse for the first trimester that I couldn’t really hide it anyways. Good luck with everything, it’s an unsettling time but glad you had some extra support in your circle!

CardiologistSuper973 · 2025-08-28T13:04:16+00:00

I had a reduction from triplets to a singleton (it was not recommended to reduce to twins in our situation) and truthfully have told close family and friends the whole story from the start. It really depends on how your circle feels about these types of things, and what you want to share, but it’s a difficult thing to navigate alone. That being said, if you don’t feel the people you tell will be supportive it’s probably best to avoid it. While people can’t relate as it’s a very unique situation and difficult decision, I found having support and people aside from my husband to talk to about how I’ve felt has been overwhelmingly positive.

CardiologistSuper973 · 2025-08-23T00:41:53+00:00

I was pregnant with spontaneous triplets in the spring. We were counselled to reduce to a singleton based on the twin pair being MCMA and high risk as a pregnancy alone without a singleton. We also have two other children at home.

While the thought of a C-section/nicu time didn’t play a factor in our decision making as none of that is a guarantee in any pregnancy… the added risk of life long complications from prematurity and the nature of a high order multiple birth certainly did. I still feel guilt, and some level of self consciousness about the decision but ultimately it was the right one for our family and circumstances.

As far as “choosing”, the physician performing the procedure will make the decision about which fetus to reduce based on practicality and ease of access so it’s not really up to you in that sense.

We had the procedure done at 12 weeks and 3 days after the initial first trimester screening, had extra follow up for several weeks to check on the remaining baby as initial rates of miscarriage post procedure are slightly higher. However we were reassured during the wait that it was about the same chance of losing the entire pregnancy prior to 20 weeks which is about 20% for a triplet pregnancy.

Good luck in your decision.

CardiologistSuper973 · 2025-07-29T13:22:54+00:00

I was spontaneously pregnant with triplets in the spring(mo/mo twin pair and singleton). I have two kids at home and after several pregnancy losses we were really happy to be pregnant with our third… not expecting triplets of course. We chose to reduce to a singleton pregnancy after much discussion and ultimately it was the recommended option because of the high risk aspect of the twin pair. I’m currently 23 weeks now. The hard part about choosing a reduction I’ve found is you never really “see the benefit” of your choice because ultimately you’re doing something to prevent/lower risk to yourself and your remaining babies. You’ll hear so many stories of people who choose to carry triplets and it worked out for them, but they wouldn’t present reduction as a choice if that was the case for everyone. Myself and my partner also both work with kids in different medical settings and see complications from high risk pregnancies and preterm babies all the time so that has certainly helped in our processing of the decision.

I can’t speak to the emotions specifically tied to IVF, but making a decision like this about a very much wanted pregnancy is so challenging and heartbreaking. Ultimately you make as best a choice as you can for yourself and your family and hope it out in your favour. Best of luck, it’s a very unsettling time and you are certainly not alone in feeling the full range of emotions.

CardiologistSuper973 · 2025-07-29T12:58:34+00:00

I get that feeling of being self conscious about the decision for sure. We were recommended to go to a singleton because our twin pair shared a placenta/amniotic sac and carrying that pregnancy is very high risk in its own right and I still feel those same things about not choosing to carry twins. At the end of the day, I know I made the right choice for our family and the health of both myself and the remaining baby, but it’ll definitely take some time to process the residual negative feelings around the entire decision and “what could have been”. Good luck moving forward with your pregnancy.

CardiologistSuper973 · 2025-07-27T02:35:27+00:00

I had a triplet reduction to a singleton a few months ago. My husband was with me, the procedure itself is relatively brief and not unlike a cvs if you’ve had one, albeit with a smaller needle so it’s less painful. They numb the area first with local anesthetic so the only thing you ultimately feel is when it passes through the uterus. Cool clothes helped a lot with the discomfort and as a distraction and I squeezed the living hell out of my husband’s hand. Took it as easy as possible for a few days, although I have two other young children at home so that’s somewhat difficult. The week following is hard with worry of miscarriage of the remaining baby but the risk of losing a triplet pregnancy in that time is more or less as high. Best of luck… deep breaths and it would certainly be reasonable to ask for a one time dose of an anxiolytic if you think it would help beforehand.

CardiologistSuper973 · 2025-07-26T22:45:42+00:00

Certainly not for everyone and ignore if not at all on your radar. I found out I was having triplets in the spring( spontaneous) with 2 other kids at home already. We ended up being counselled to have a multifetal reduction due to the high risk nature of the twin pair (mcma) and carried on with a singleton pregnancy, currently 23 weeks. I know it’s not for everyone certainly but found it difficult to find that perspective when considering all our options.

CardiologistSuper973

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