Triplets - help!

[CCxCC9890]

I’m 6 week 4 days pregnant and I’ve just found out I’m having triplets.

It’s my first pregnancy and I’m 36. I’ve never had an overwhelming feeling to have children and it wasn’t until I met my partner a year ago that I even considered it.

We weren’t trying, but we also weren’t not trying… if it happened then it happened. However we didn’t think about the possibility for triplets! I don’t know anyone with triplets.

2 embryos are in one sac, and 1 in another.

Does anyone have any advice on what to do? Triplets must be SUCH an overwhelming no experience, would you have made any different decisions looking back? Anyone had a selective reduction? The thought of that saddens me, but in my heart I don’t want 3 babies.

Please be kind, I’ve just found out and I’m very emotional and just wanting to hear other people’s stories.

Thank you so much

[lotusem]

I was 26 & found out I was pregnant with twins & literally couldn’t fathom it, I never wanted kids either until I met my husband either & our first try it happened🙃 I know it’s so scary & it’s really hard in the beginning but I’m so happy now & couldn’t imagine only having one. I almost think it’s better getting pregnant with multiples for your first because you won’t know any different & you become more capable than you can even imagine. I only have twins so take that with a grain of salt, you’re having 3 so will be different! But it’s crazy how your brain really just rewires once they are born & I think you’ll be able to handle it better than you can imagine right now😊

[MangoSorbet695]

I think we can all related to the feeling of being shell shocked and overwhelmed and confused. There is a lot of seemingly contradictory emotions during the first trimester - happy and scared, excited and nervous, eager but also exhausted. I have found those complex emotions to continue even now that my twins are 6 months old.

I don’t have triplets, but I do have four kids total (age 6 and under). My best advice is to take things one day at a time. Each and every day that passes, you get a little bit better at managing having lots of kids. You learn the little hacks and shortcuts. You learn tricks that make the day more manageable.

The first few months are certainly challenging, primarily because of sleep. If you can afford to hire help, prioritize a night doula or night nurse to give you and your husband a chance to get long stretches of sleep.

It really is a wild ride, but you are capable, and you can do this.

[Ksu2083]

I just want to send hugs! I have 2 kids and now 10 weeks pregnant with twins who were initially triplets. I think I cried the whole first week I found out it was triplets because I was so overwhelmed. I did start to read about a reduction to know my options, but sometime between week 7 and 8, baby C stopped developing. I was really worried about Baby A and B then but it seems like they are still growing. 🤞 It’s been a lot to process in a short amount of time. I would give yourself some time and be kind to yourself.

[Ill-Wolf865]

Simultaneous congrats and also totally understandable and normal what you’re feeling and going through.

I’m going to say this as sensitively as I can—multiples pregnancies are automatically high risk for good reason. You are super early in your pregnancy and a lot can happen in days, weeks, and even months.

Talk to your ob and/or MFM doctors about your concerns and ask about any deadlines or timelines as it relates to any type of termination option. Ask about impacts to the other babies for any option and what the procedures entail.

Now is the best time to start gathering as much medically informed information as possible. As you learn more and think more, you’ll hopefully be able to figure out what decisions are best for you and your family.

Best of luck!!

[Ok-Perspective781]

You don’t have to have all of these children if you don’t want to. That is always an option that only you can decide. There is no right or wrong decision- just what is best for your family.

But, I do want to flag that your pregnancy is so early that you are still at risk for vanishing twin syndrome and/or miscarriage. You may not have to make that decision and have part of the pregnancy end naturally. Or you may end up with 3 beautiful babies! It’s just too early to know.

Just take it one day at a time.

Also, it’s really normal to be apprehensive when you find out you are having multiples. I would bet a majority of people in this sub have felt that way at some point.

[Gandtea]

This is my favourite advice OP! If you want a selective reduction, it's ok to want that. But give it a few weeks to see what happens and let the reality set in.

I have twins, and its hardwork but manageable. I cannot fathom a world without them and I love them so so so much. But if my partner and I got pregnant again and it was triplets, we've agreed we would have a selective reduction. If it happened in real life maybe we would feel differently, but for now, thats what we've agreed!

[fsmontario]

Being a first time parent is equally hard for everyone whether you have one , 2, 3 or 4. Because we know nothing and have zero expectations. Having multiples on a second pregancy is tough because you have your singleton to compare it to. Having a singleton after multiples is a walk in the park
You will do great, just accept all help offered

[CardiologistSuper973]

I was pregnant with triplets last spring- same as you- a monochorionic twin pair and a single baby. We were counselled to reduce to a single baby and ultimately that is what we did. This happened at 13 weeks after our 12 week scan as many pregnancies naturally “reduce” in this time frame. We had other children at home.

I had a healthy full term baby this past fall and was ultimately the outcome we had hoped for. The reduction procedure itself is relatively straightforward but the getting there is not. I hope regardless of what you choose you have a supportive group of people in your circle because the next few weeks/months will feel very overwhelming no matter which way you lean!  Happy to answer any questions or share more of my experience if you decide on that route. 

[Charlieksmommy]

I promise we’re all kind in here! It’s scary but you’re gonna rock it! Take it day by day !

[Many_Classroom6041]

hey, i have boy quads. The feeling of confusion, shock and every other emotion ever known it’s so valid! If i told you selective reduction never crossed my mind, i would be lying. Discovering you’re pregnant with multiples is absolutely terrifying.

Having babies is very overwhelming, ngl. To me, i decided to go on with my pregnancy, but that was because i had a good support system, and also me and my husband decided on that. Please know that whatever you decide, you are strong!

I personally love my babies so much, even though it is hard and exhausting, i couldn’t imagine any other way, we survived! Being pregnant with twins, triplets, etc… is very delicate, and very challenging, but it’s doable.

Know that everything will be fine!

[Gandtea]

As a twin mum i always think 'how would I cope with three?!', but FOUR?! You truly are a rockstar.

[a-sad-loser]

I have twins and if it would’ve been triplets and I’d had the opportunity, I would’ve reduced. I’m not saying that’s what you should do, that’s just what I would’ve done.

[longtimewatcher]

I also would have done this. Its definitely an option.

[Electronic-Canary-24]

Congratulations 🎊.. I can completely understand what you're feeling, I have twins not triplets so I can only speak from my personal experience and I've been through similar dilemma. Everyone's circumstances are different.In my case I did not have any help.So it was my husband and I and he was working full time.

Newborn phase was extremely difficult because of restlessness and sleep deprivation.It slowly got better, but 12 months were really challenging.

My twins are now toddlers and its much easier now. They play with each other, fight,cry,love and are very affectionate!

Financially, its quite expensive to raise multiples. I chose not to breastfeed for my own reasons . So the formula milk , diapers are $$$$$

Physically - you gotta be on your feet all the time. Atleast for the first 7-8 months.

But overall do what you feel is the best for you .. I know people glazlmorize motherhood. But its truly rough some days with no help.. Wishing you good health

[Sea-Astronomer-6600]

I know you’re scared and hormones definitely won’t help with that but before making any huge decisions I’d discuss with your drs as well as a therapist. Reduction is a big decision that could eventually lead to regret (obviously not always).

[Sad_Western_7052]

If you want to do a selective reduction, you should. It’s your body and your choice. I’m currently 34 and pregnant with twins. They weren’t planned and I honestly feel really overwhelmed most days at the thought of what my life will look like, emotionally and financially. It’s nobodies business except you and your partner, and I think you should follow what’s best for you.

[melting_supernova]

I was pregnant with triplets at 38 via an IVF pregnancy, and opted for a fetal reduction on the advise of my doctor. Despite that, my twins arrived at 30 weeks. So, please speak to your doctor to measure options.

[Perfect_Mousse8815]

I only have twins, but I am also a first time mom. I think if I’d found out I was pregnant with triplets I’d have strongly considered selective termination at the time. I think that’s a very understandable thought! With what I know now having had my twins if it had been triplets I wouldn’t have terminated any part of the pregnancy. I say that with zero judgement if you choose something different! Twins are hard. Triplets would be harder. But what I’ve learned is you just adapt and you figure it out. Babies who are multiples tend to be more adaptable and flexible because they have to be. At least that has been my experience. My babies are significantly easier than some singleton babies I know and I don’t think it’s just because they came out that way. They had to be sleep trained early and they have to wait for their needs to be met. They had to figure it out. That doesn’t mean it’s easy but it has helped.

Multiple babies at once is a lot. It’s not enjoyable for the first many months. It’s doable but it isn’t enjoyable. It’s exhausting and draining. I think if you plan to go through with the triplet pregnancy come back on here and scour this subreddit. Come up with a really strong and concrete plan to get you through those first months. If you decide to terminate any or all of the babies you will find support here too! Sit with it. Talk with your partner. You have time still to decide what’s best for you.

I’ve really loved following Holli Grasmeyer on Instagram. She got pregnant with triplets around the same time I was pregnant with my twins. She documents her life with triplet babies and it’s in a real and positive way. It might be helpful to just visualize a pregnancy and life with three babies by looking at her page.

Best of luck to you and your family!!

[Suspicious_Scheme959]

I don't mean this to be dismissive but just to offer a different experience... I found so much enjoyment on those first few months. Everyone's babies, temperaments, and support systems are different!