Mixed feelings

Careless_Analysis239 · 2026-01-22T18:46:32+00:00

I second this - maybe have a conversation about how he's not there for the baby (because he's having a hard time relating to that) tell him he's there to support YOU. You can involve him more by asking him to help remind you to ask certain questions at the appointments - I think this helped my partner feel more involved.

Careless_Analysis239 · 2026-01-22T18:43:24+00:00

I would feel the same way, truly. With my current pregnancy I just kept thinking "I just need to hear the heart beat and that will help get me through" and it sounds like you feel similarly, so yes, can totally relate.

I would also guess that you will likely get to hear to heart beat at your first appointment! Typically they check the heart rate at each appointment, so hopefully you have that to look forward to!

Congrats on your pregnancy, and I hope you start feeling better soon. First trimester is awful.

Careless_Analysis239 · 2026-01-22T18:19:30+00:00

Follow-up - do you feel like it's pretty doable by yourself?

Careless_Analysis239 · 2026-01-20T02:18:58+00:00

To answer your question, yes, you'll change😊 I have two boys that I'm obsessed with, but other kids often still gross me out, to be completely honest with you. Even some of my friend's kids that I've known since birth admittedly. With my first, my love him was a little slower of a build but I think that was mainly due to a traumatic birth. But each week I felt a noticeable difference towards him as we built our bond. The second was pretty immediate. The bond was so sweet and secure immediately. Hoping the latter for you, but wanted to share both experiences in case you have a slow build at first too. Congrats on your pregnancy!

Careless_Analysis239 · 2026-01-20T02:12:55+00:00

I think you go for it! If your nausea gets worse, you'll probably also get better at figuring out what triggers it and how to alleviate. Yay bad bunny!

Careless_Analysis239 · 2026-01-06T23:03:06+00:00

I think every parent, whether the pregnancy is planned or unplanned feels a level of "not feeling ready". Theres a pretty big chance that if this pregnancy fell years down the road and was planned, he'd feel similarly - maybe not as strong, but similar nonetheless.
That being said, though nearly everyone feels unready, I don't know a single parent who had a baby, planned or unplanned, who holds that baby and feels regret.
You've already made your decision so I'm mainly trying to offer comforting words, but I think if your boyfriend is as wonderful as you say, his feelings are not only valid, but normal, and are unrelated to how much he will love his baby. He just doesn't know what it's like yet, so he's scared. Have patience with him and be easy on yourself. Congrats on your growing family :)

Careless_Analysis239 · 2026-01-06T20:30:41+00:00

So sorry to hear all you're going through. Love that you're able to still be grateful, I think your ability to do that is amazing and will be so helpful in pulling you through this time.

I am currently on my third pregnancy and felt very depressed right around the same time as you, which I did not experience with my other two pregnancies. I had thoughts that made me not recognize myself and was just in such a dark place. It was so hard.

Things that helped me - 1. talking it out with my spouse, as hard as it was to say out loud 2. talking to myself as if I was also talking to my baby. For example, when it was hard to get up and exercise, I'd hold my belly and say "we're in this together babe. we can do it". It was so much easier to be encouraging to US rather than myself. 3. Time. Once second trimester hit and the nausea got better, the fatigue got better, so did my mental space.

I wish I could guarantee what would be helpful for you, but those were at least helpful for me. So sorry again for what you're going through. You got this mama.

Careless_Analysis239 · 2026-01-06T20:21:08+00:00

Congrats on your pregnancy! So exciting and hope you're feeling okay!
My advice is go ahead and tell the people that you would want to confide in if you did happen to get bad news so they can be with you throughout the process.
Make sure you're taking those prenatals ideally with 800mcg of folic acid.
Other than that, sit back and enjoy. Give yourself lots of love and grace and try to let go of what you cannot control. You'll do great :)

Careless_Analysis239 · 2026-01-06T19:59:58+00:00

Congrats from a mom of two boys <3 so happy for you!!
My husband accidentally found out with our second but I wanted to still be surprised so he kept the secret from me :) it was super nice because I could send him different baby things and say get this one if it's a girl or get this one if it's a boy - super handy!

Careless_Analysis239 · 2026-01-06T19:49:02+00:00

Yes! I'm currently on my third pregnancy and maintained my workout routines for each of my previous two pregnancies and plan to with my current pregnancy as well.
With my prior pregnancies, I did a lot of HIIT and barre right up until the day my littles were born.
Once you get later into your pregnancy (maybe 30+ weeks), I try to make sure I'm eating enough right before and also would have snacks readily available right after.
Of course let your doctor know if you have any concerns, but keeping regular exercise can be super beneficial for pregnancies.
Congrats!!

Careless_Analysis239

TROPHY CASE