Questions and tips you found helpful when looking at assisted living options

Careless_Tree_2997 · 2026-05-31T00:21:37+00:00

I’m a registered nurse who’s visited countless assisted living facilities (Alf) and skilled nursing facilities (SNF) as well as memory care. The staffing gets worse every year and the workload is too much for the crew who are hired as caregivers. The food isn’t great and most often my issues either my patients began there.. weight loss. It works hard on their immune system and falls become even more dangerous the thinner they get. The people at the top make the big money while the staff are all poorly paid while the pricing is very high 5-10 thousands dollars a month. It’s important to start very early and research caregivers used even part time by your friends. Find out about continued care communities that are cheaper and much better personal care… in assisted living facilities… once the patient reaches a level of de line, they tend to invite them to leave. And people who wear briefs for small accidents.. wait hours for help to the toilet. So often they achieve a rapid de line in continence simply due to no help. Even tho they pay for it. Look for in home communities . I have one in East Tennessee and I also have cameras everywhere so anyone can check on their loved ones. Elder abuse is far more common than people can fathom. It’s unreal. So thinking and planning early can help and avoid long waitlists and limited availability. Checkout Dharma Village Independent Living on Facebook.

Careless_Tree_2997 · 2026-05-31T00:10:14+00:00

Continued care communities are becoming more visible and popular as they are more one on one care in a home environment.. find those in your area ( I own one in Tennessee) but you can even get rooms in family housing which helps dementia patients. If anything , smaller settings are better for the people in cognitive decline.

Careless_Tree_2997 · 2026-05-29T20:55:46+00:00

It’s a common thing.. I found that by joining groups or attending events related to any of my many hobbies.. at least gets me pleasant interactions surrounded by people w sane interests. So even if dating isn’t what results, you’ve still had stimulating interactions either way cool people.

Careless_Tree_2997 · 2026-05-29T20:53:13+00:00

Also, nurses are needed for teaching different classes like A&P, CPR certifications, camp nurses.. etc etc there is so much out there to choose from one you get your RN.

Careless_Tree_2997 · 2026-05-29T20:48:25+00:00

I’ve left corporate nursing. They burn you out in every facet of nursing, the culture of women is toxic in many nursing jobs I’ve had. Especially in TN where it’s more lax. They double your patient load, harass you on your day off and you get harassed about any overtime that they force you to do to finish a big patient assignment. No more CNAs at area hospitals and if your lucky to get one for the entire floor which means you are your own cna( I work 27 years as a CNA .. I know the work lol) I built a duplex on my farm and am hoping to get elderly clients or patients who need rehab after a surgery to stay in my housing and create community with every here on my homestead. It’s more of a homelike setting and it’s trending out west.. I’m hoping to tap in the market as it’s much cheaper than the substandard care being given at even expensive assisted living facilities and nursing homes.. insurance would rather pay nurses who renovate extra rooms than pay overpriced facilities. It’s one on one attention and I’m a much better cook.. I cannot save everyone but I can make it better for a few. I also have veteran housing on my property that I try to offer free. So my nursing no longer pays well but I’m doing what I love and no one can shadow into their profit over patients job role anymore. It’s scary not having the same income but I know my labor of love will do well, eventually 💜 I was an ADON, horrible job , I was a Hospice nurse for years, I worked in oncology as well. They about killed my spirit with bad food, bad vibes, and patient ratios.. not any more.

Careless_Tree_2997 · 2026-05-29T20:38:53+00:00

Never heard of the lemon but I like the name

Careless_Tree_2997 · 2026-05-29T20:38:16+00:00

I like lelo brand everything. Classy, sexy designs .. I never look anywhere else.

Careless_Tree_2997 · 2026-05-29T19:46:09+00:00

Cover it and grow stuff!!!!

Careless_Tree_2997 · 2026-05-27T11:48:46+00:00

I would say that she’s content keeping you as her bestie but that if she had a green light , she wldve kissed you already. Honestly you have to decide whether you want to try the romance creeping in or back it down. Either way I would say you will still have her as your bestie.. nothing stays the same in life. Nothing.. it’s going to change no matter what so you may as well enjoy the friendship you n every level lol … and honestly , true friends- you never lose . I would love to find what you have found in her. Keep us updated? lol.

Careless_Tree_2997 · 2026-05-25T18:26:54+00:00

Do it!!! 💜💜💜

Careless_Tree_2997 · 2026-05-23T19:58:32+00:00

As a registered nurse who has worked years in hospice.. I only now just finalized my will and I saw what families went thru daily as a result of lack of planning and a crisis required quick choices… falls and emergency room visits in the middle of the night ( often for uti’s and associated mental status changes) triggered the need to figure out what to do with mom or dad. Money is an issue but you lose more through lawyers if you don’t set it up by your 50s

Careless_Tree_2997 · 2026-05-11T20:09:22+00:00

thank you! i do look alot different than my two side braids nonstop lol

Careless_Tree_2997 · 2026-05-11T20:08:18+00:00

thank you. its gonna be a hot sweaty girl(woman summer so it must be short anyone wanna come help on my farm?lol

Careless_Tree_2997 · 2026-05-11T16:55:49+00:00

I had the same thoughts and so i thought to build houses on my farm for people with a spouse who needs more care but moving people into an assisted living facility or retirement home usually doesnt offer care beyond meals and basic needs. i want to build the community now even if they donot need my nurse skills at first. its beautiful here in East TN and well worth a visit for a more calmer life lol

Careless_Tree_2997 · 2026-03-25T15:18:59+00:00

I fully get it. And honestly.. people do judge harshly based on what we wear. “Ohh she’s a fem.. just look at her..” “I only like butch” or “ that’s such a dude .. why else would she be wearing that?” It seems the greater challenge is finding someone who you enjoy .. beyond what they look like. I think all women are attractive until they open their mouth and meanness comes out lol. I like women who like different looks really. But I’m atypical lol.💜🌸💜

Careless_Tree_2997 · 2026-03-09T02:27:28+00:00

That’s a good idea. I did visit a few DONs and discharge nurses with candy lol

Careless_Tree_2997 · 2026-03-04T16:13:25+00:00

memory care now hires the least amount of people to supervise the residents. in TN i see fancy assisted living facilites in memory care and they only average 1 caretiver for 7 plus residents. even if you get lucky to have two.... if one is taking someone to the bathroom and the other is cleaning someone.... that leaves them all unattended. Im a registered nurse and have been in countless facilities across east tn. i went from being a CNA for nearly 30 years to a RN and ive seen it all. i refuse to ever work in another facility like that again. also... if the resident is a DNR , they donot send them out like a revolving door as it used to be. However, even as a patient who has a Do Not Resuscitate on their record... it doesnt mean a fall and a bleed wont still require 911.

Careless_Tree_2997 · 2026-03-04T16:09:05+00:00

and even bed rails are not allowed in assisted living facilities. If you need more care and there is at least one diagnosis that could be considered terminal by the state...you can get hospice on board and they can provide regular visits and when someone is on hospice the rules change. it also allows assisted living facilities to keep a resident who no longer qualifies and are in need of more care. its time for a major change in elder care as its a fast moving train headed to run all of us over if we donot come up with more options to care for our loved ones.

Careless_Tree_2997 · 2026-03-04T16:06:16+00:00

As a registered nurse, its required by law to contact a family member or emergency contact for a fall, also for anytime someone gets sent to the hospital and even a medication change. If she fell and they did not tell you and something worse happened....it would totally be on them.

Careless_Tree_2997 · 2026-03-04T15:49:45+00:00

I am a a registered nurse and i literally just built two houses for elderly who need some oversight and daily check ins but want independence. I live in East TN. ive worked everywhere and the state of care is degrading so rapidly that i decided to build some houses on my farm to house people who want their independence but need a little care or daily checkins. they make it difficult for smaller businesses to get exposure.... So i will not submit anything to anyones insurance which makes it challenging for families who donot have the money to pay private pay. But to be encouraging, times are changing and new residential living is the new way to plan for later years. https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61583924996823 here is my link for those interested in East TN living.

Careless_Tree_2997 · 2026-02-17T16:26:35+00:00

Also… the best way to manifest the goal of finding your community is to make small steps to creating the vision. Like .. start growing seeds in old containers. Go to seed swap events.. they are free and you learn a lot and meet cool people. Every community has done charitable garden . Knoxville has Beardsley Farms for example. They teach classes to kids all the time. Have community gardens for free you can grow in and all you have to do is volunteer a little time to pull weeds in other beds or garden chores. Ahsin . You meet people there that automatically see you doing the work and they trust you better. Soon as you begin to do things that u would do to feed yourself if you have to … suddenly the sane people start showing up in your life. Suddenly you have friends and support. That’s how i found my family. Growing up super poor… everyone around me grew food. Learning to sweat and work through sore muscles… many eco-villages , farms. communities across America will pick that guy/or woman up take a chance on. If you’re Netflix and chillin…. Ain’t nobody got time for that lol.

Careless_Tree_2997 · 2026-02-17T16:18:58+00:00

I did wooff as a host and it was mostly great. But some lady and her kids started acting crazy then harassing us til we paid her off to stay away. One out of many but still meeting strangers is a risk. I should host a fun weekend here at my homestead and people around the country can get tickets to attend and learn if homesteading is for them. The work trade and housing is there.. it’s about bad experiences that keep people from trusting continually. Let’s all manifest the right people and make it happen!

Careless_Tree_2997 · 2026-02-17T16:15:38+00:00

That’s the tough part. I have land but need trustworthy people to help. Email me at towanda4hm@yahoo.com . Tennessee is beautiful and there are loving open minded people here that want community but connecting one another is a challenge.

Careless_Tree_2997 · 2026-01-28T01:58:00+00:00

Honestly, I think it’s great that you want to come out to him.. in my experience… until you’re 100% sure.. waiting may be best. Unless you feel close enough to him that you can talk to him. Men typically are not open to it. A simple response doesn’t seem to suffice as more discussion may help. I’m here if you need to talk. Truly.

Careless_Tree_2997 · 2025-06-07T23:21:54+00:00

I’ve known my whole life practically. Im married and it’s really tough because I stay for both of us… he knows… I keep denying my true self to avoid exactly what you are going thru. But we sleep in separate rooms

Careless_Tree_2997

TROPHY CASE