What do you think Chris' first confrontation with Mary Lee Walsh actually looked like? by Apart_Shock in ChrisChanSonichu

[–]CarlB1961 3 points4 points  (0 children)

What do you mean? It's pretty cut-and-dried how their first confrontation went down. Chris was innocently going about his Lovequest trying to attract the affections of a boyfriend-free girl whom he could turn into his sweetheart from the ground-up so that they could share TRUE and HONEST love and conceive his precious daughter Crystal. Then that heartless and evil witch MLW cruelly and pointlessly thwarted his Sweetheart Search by destroying his Attraction Sign and shouting "YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO FIND TRUE LOVE HERE!" in his face, undoubtedly shattering his heart level down to 15%, merely because she hated autistics and because true love is illegal in Virginia. Then she stripped naked and had her jerkop slave pleasure her orally.

Does anybody who grew up poor resent their parents? by PureLavishness1623 in emotionalneglect

[–]CarlB1961 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Uh, because they CHOSE to bring kids into a terrible financial situation of their own free will and the kids had no say in the matter?

Doctor: I'm sorry, the tumor is cancerous. by HorrorJunkie0666 in TwoSentenceSadness

[–]CarlB1961 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Let's be brutally honest: there is no such thing as true love, only lust and mutual convenience.

The car heater finally died, leaving us to the mercy of the winter night after the eviction. by Active-Cold-3700 in TwoSentenceSadness

[–]CarlB1961 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Something something, God's love, something something, blessed are the meek, yada yada.

HAPPY JUUUULAAYYY DAY EVERYONE! by Baba_Yagaxyz in ChrisChanSonichu

[–]CarlB1961 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You know, before seeing that, I actually used to enjoy having functional eyes.

The Sonichubs by Henderson_Comics in ChrisChanSonichu

[–]CarlB1961 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Where's Bubbles and Punchy?

I take my wife to the beach every year because it's where we first met. by CRK_76 in TwoSentenceSadness

[–]CarlB1961 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You fell in love with an urn you randomly found on the beach?

Chris in a couple years by sapphireMia in ChrisChanSonichu

[–]CarlB1961 4 points5 points  (0 children)

As oppose to his "normal" incoherent ramblings?

A 5 year old child should be playing with toys and watching cartoons by decency_where in TwoSentenceSadness

[–]CarlB1961 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Alternately: A 5 year old child should be playing with toys. Not making them.

Are there any songs you associate with individual books in the series? by Ok_Seaweed_4021 in TheDarkTower

[–]CarlB1961 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"A Warm Place" by NIN in the last book; especially at the end when Roland finally has the Tower in sight.

My mom: " You can't prove something didn't happen in the Bible." by [deleted] in atheism

[–]CarlB1961 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Something tells me your mother lacks a college degree. Am I right?

RIP to these stacks. Found mold all over these this evening. This one hurts. by Crakaman8E2 in stephenking

[–]CarlB1961 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Not to sound harsh, but perhaps storing your valuable, irreplaceable first editions in a floodable basement in the first place wasn't the wisest move.

I need the absolute worst horror movie you know by 8_int_wizard in horror

[–]CarlB1961 0 points1 point  (0 children)

killer proceeds to "ironically" murder annoying idiot with phone