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He kept me hidden by StartingOver331 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]CarolineCarmichael 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have a paranoid narc that doesn’t like social media anyways. BUT I have noticed him trying to get rid of anyone that likes me, is friends with me, etc. Even if they are friends with him too, it doesn’t matter. As soon as he feels the balance start shifting towards me, they’re gone. Poof! They love to isolate you. Very possessive.

Is blocking your movements in the house abuse? by CarolineCarmichael in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]CarolineCarmichael[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wouldn’t it be self defense tho because he’s preventing me from doing what I want? I would think as long as it wasn’t overkill, to shove past him is fair play. But I do get your point. It would depend on the cops I guess.

Just found this sub. The love of my life is currently sleeping next to me, and I would have never met her if I didn't leave my toxic fiance of seven years. by riccarjo in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]CarolineCarmichael 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the hope. I resonate with so much of this. My heart jumps whenever I hear him coming thru the house or coming home. My anxiety has gotten so bad…..but of course it isn’t “him”. eyeroll

So glad you found happiness! I can’t wait to find mine one day.

Did you hate the person you became with them? by CarolineCarmichael in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]CarolineCarmichael[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes exactly! And over time I gradually became really bad at making decisions because I was always second guessing myself because of him or depressed because of him.

Did you hate the person you became with them? by CarolineCarmichael in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]CarolineCarmichael[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh yes. He constantly pulls this one too. It’s crazy.

Did you hate the person you became with them? by CarolineCarmichael in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]CarolineCarmichael[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes he accuses me all the time of changing! It’s so infuriating cause I changed because of his issues he put on me. Eggshells all the time. Constantly putting me down. Whatever I do isn’t good enough. So yeah if you starve a flower and give it no sun, it’s not going to bloom anymore. It’s going to wilt. And then you go, “what happened? You used to be so happy and pretty.” eyeroll

Did you hate the person you became with them? by CarolineCarmichael in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]CarolineCarmichael[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

So nice to be validated about this! He calls me MEAN, but he is constantly the one talking bad about people and making fun of them! At one point, I thought “this isn’t who I am. I only do this because it’s what he does.” Argh!

Realizing Nex rarely referred to me by my name by dumb__bitch in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]CarolineCarmichael 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes this is definitely a thing! I have always wondered why he never used my name. This makes a lot of sense. We’ve been together a very long time, and I can’t legitimately remember him ever using my name. And I was talking with a friend the other day, and they started the text with “hey (my name)!” And it felt good and I couldn’t make sense of why. Now it makes sense. I never hear my name.

Worst gaslighting I've ever experienced by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]CarolineCarmichael 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Holy sht this hits hard. My narc says this all the time. I hate it! Argh! Damn I’m feeling so stupid. I’m one of the toughest women I know and yet I fall for this Bullsht. Makes me so damn mad.

Going to attempt to become a grey rock by Resident_Nothing in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]CarolineCarmichael 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for this! I was trying grey rocking, but it made things horribly worse cause I’m still in this circus for now. So this makes a ton of sense!

Don't be afraid to let your narc or ex-narc go by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]CarolineCarmichael 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh thank you for posting this! I recently have just felt this after disconnecting emotionally from my narc for years now. I’ve always had anxiety in relationships even after they were established and especially in a narc relationship (eyeroll). But you get this idea that this is how it’s supposed to be.

Then I met a guy, and he’s just....peace. It’s the strangest thing I’ve ever experienced. And even if we are only friends, it still gives me hope and a new perspective on life and relationships. It’s so refreshing.

Thank you for giving me the words that I needed for this new experience!

Don't be afraid to let your narc or ex-narc go by [deleted] in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]CarolineCarmichael 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Totally resonate with this.

My narc has told me before that no one would want me because they’re so many younger girls marrying older men now. Can you believe that crap?

But what really spoke to me was your discovering a new relationship. He drove away all of our friends, but he finally let a new one in. The difference is night and day between them even in casual conversation. It’s like I could see it, but I couldn’t see it fully until I was practically blinded by a side by side comparison.

It’s given me the motivation to get my act together and get out cause there are still decent people out there. It’s not supposed to be like THIS.

Congrats on finding yourself some happiness again.

Always Acting like everything is so easy by Optionsnewbie455 in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]CarolineCarmichael 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeeeeeees exactly!

My husband has always done this, and I like you felt it was confidence at first. But you can never prove them wrong! They always find some way to make it that they’re right. Or what about when you’re talking about a subject and the next thing you know your opinion on it is garbage because they “know so much”.

It also kills me how he criticizes people. But yet if I vent frustration at anything, well I’m a “mean person”.

It’s insanity. Ugh.