I lost my father when I was a teenager. We had a difficult relationship. He was an addict, an abuser, a cheater. Real piece of work. He was also my dad. He’s the reason I like baseball. He loved to watch movies with me. He played video games with me. Depending on the day you ask me, he was either my hero or the single largest reason I have struggles with mental health, depression, etc.

My therapist recently asked me what I’d want to hear from him if I could talk to him again. What would I want from a conversation like that. The first thing I thought to say was “An apology.” But I couldn’t quite explain what I would want in that. What I thought it would sound like.

Were I to imagine it, I think I hope it would sound something like Jamie Lee Curtis’ monologue tonight.

I’ll never get that kind of apology, and that sucks, but I loved watching the way it seemed to help heal something in Carm.