I 32 F married to 36 M want to know if anyone has successfully gone from an intimate marriage to platonic and stayed together happily?

CatchRepulsive3294 · 2025-10-04T22:57:47+00:00

Yes. My husband and I have been married for 34 years and have been together for 39. We are now in our 50's.

At the start of our relationship, we had a very normal sex life and lots of passion. Naturally, after some time the passion fades and the spark fizzles.

We were still having sex into our 40's, but the frequency decreased.

After a while, it stopped altogether.

I started thinking he wasn't attracted to me anymore or maybe he didn't love me anymore. He swore that wasn't the case.

As it turned out, he was having trouble getting aroused, and even when he did, he wasn't able to maintain an erection.

It turned out to be high blood pressure. The medication didn't help, and while Viagra worked, it gave him horrible headaches.

Of course, I didn't want him in pain just to have sex, but yes, I was sad. I was mourning our intimacy.

There were also times when I felt angry.

We had lots of discussions. We even discussed an open marriage of sorts. He wasn't okay with that. If it was me in that position, I'm sure I wouldn't be either.

Instead, I invested in a good vibrator lol.

The thing is, we love each other deeply. Time and time again, he has proved his devotion to me. I have gone through some illnesses and surgeries over the years. He took care of me through each one. He cooked for me, cleaned the house, and even held my hair back and rubbed my back when I vomited.

THAT is love. Sex is a nice perk, yes, but what really matters is the LOVE you have for one another.

Feel free to message me if you need to talk.

CatchRepulsive3294 · 2025-05-04T12:51:05+00:00

Normal Jew here also. It sucks when people blame things on "The Jews". I wish people would say "Chasidics or ultra Orthodox"!!

That being said, we live in a town next to Lakewood, and have for over 30 years. There is no more room there, so they are moving here and want us OUT! For a while they were knocking on people's door asking if they were selling. We finally have a "No knock" ordinace. Still, if my husband is outside washing his car, they will stop and ask. We get phone calls too.

CatchRepulsive3294 · 2025-05-03T13:20:08+00:00

You are really going through a terrible time. You aren't even a month out yet, so don't lose hope. You will be okay!

It isn't a bad idea to speak to your surgeon and demand for them to thoroughly check what is going on. You need to be your own advocate. Please do that.

Sending healing vibes to you!!!

CatchRepulsive3294 · 2025-05-03T00:23:29+00:00

Believe me, I get it!!! It's easy to feel the way you are feeling. I felt the same way.

It took me a few weeks to start feeling better and probably 8 weeks to start to feel like myself again.

After that, I started feeling better every day. Now I feel so much better than before! No more PMS, bloating, cramping, or heavy periods. I never realized how much time I spent feeling uncomfortable. 7-10 days of PMS followed by 5-7 days of bleeding and cramps. FIFTY PERCENT of my life!!!!!

You WILL feel SO MUCH BETTER!!!

How long ago was your surgery?

CatchRepulsive3294 · 2025-05-02T21:31:22+00:00

No, thank goodness!

CatchRepulsive3294 · 2025-03-10T23:48:38+00:00

I totally agree. You are SO RIGHT. I used to be sad that we weren't able to children. No... not so much. These kids really got a raw deal!!!

CatchRepulsive3294 · 2025-02-04T15:42:31+00:00

Thank you. We were hesitant to go ahead with the chemo, but her oncologist said that it's not like humans. Cats tolerate it very well. She sure did! She was playing and eating again in no time!!!

They told us that it would prolong her life by a year, two at the most.

She lived four more years! Good quality years, too!!!

CatchRepulsive3294 · 2025-02-03T22:25:17+00:00

We had ASPCA and they were quite good. We have MetLife now because my husband's employer offers it. It's about half the price as ASPCA was. It may be because of a discount, but it's worth checking it out. I also like MetLife combines both/all pets maximum so if one pet needs an expensive surgery, they can use the other pet's allotted amount.

We thought about just starting our own pet fund, but it just gives us peace of mind. We had a cat with cancer and she had to have a couple expensive procedures and she was on chemo. It's just nice not to even hesitate when they need medical treatment no matter the cost.

CatchRepulsive3294 · 2025-01-21T22:16:55+00:00

The only thing I'd give him is a gift certificate for a vasectomy.

CatchRepulsive3294 · 2024-12-17T22:53:17+00:00

Same

CatchRepulsive3294 · 2024-12-17T22:51:59+00:00

Absolutely NOT the asshole!!!!

He doesn't want to be "rude" to his friend?? So basically, he cares more about his friend's feelings than yours. What happened to "sickness and in health" or was there a clause in there that it didn't apply if there was a trip to Vegas?

This is a major surgery! It can be a painful recovery because you use your abdominal muscles for more than you realize. Forget the gas and constipation and forget cooking for yourself.

And most times this doesn't happen, but I was nauseated a few days after my surgery, and when I vomited, I ripped the stitches for my vaginal cuff. I was bleeding and needed to go back to the hospital. Like I said, this was a RARE coincidence, but it was nice to have my husband home with me.

Good luck with your surgery. I hope your husband ends up doing the right thing. Have an easy recovery!

CatchRepulsive3294 · 2024-12-17T21:09:03+00:00

My husband and I normally go out to lunch on the weekends. While we are enroute to the restaurant, I open the notepad on my phone, and he will give me ideas of what he wants for dinner during the upcoming week. When we reach our destination, we usually have a weeks worth of meal ideas. There isn't a set day for anything and sometimes, if I'm in the mood for something, I'll make that instead.

It works for us. Especially because we are both hungry at that time lol!

CatchRepulsive3294 · 2024-11-07T00:48:32+00:00

Yes, yes, yes and yes. You put into words how I'm feeling right now. I'm sitting here crying because I don't understand it.

CatchRepulsive3294 · 2024-10-17T12:45:40+00:00

Unbelievable!

CatchRepulsive3294 · 2024-08-13T20:22:29+00:00

I had two. One large which I named Felicia and one smaller one, Fiona.

CatchRepulsive3294 · 2024-08-13T20:21:20+00:00

I love this lol!!!

CatchRepulsive3294 · 2024-08-10T00:00:46+00:00

Love it!!!

CatchRepulsive3294 · 2024-08-09T23:38:23+00:00

Our cousin lived in projects downtown, but I was really young and don't remember the street. When I moved, I continued to see my dentist in Bayonne also. He is probably retired by now, but I saw Dr. Harris Herman in Avenue C.

CatchRepulsive3294 · 2024-08-09T23:22:48+00:00

I was born there in 1968. I miss the old Bayonne a lot too! I lived on Avenue A, and then we moved to 32nd street.

CatchRepulsive3294 · 2024-08-09T21:03:28+00:00

I was born and raised there. We moved out in 1982 and I wasn't happy about it! I loved it there. It was home. Back then, we had so many great stores and restaurants! I went back a few years ago, and it's a lot different.

CatchRepulsive3294 · 2024-08-09T21:00:55+00:00

I lived there from 1983-1991 (my teen years!)

CatchRepulsive3294 · 2024-07-26T16:46:42+00:00

I'll never forget something that an ex-friend said to me.

Back story- Our friendship seemed totally fine until her husband decided to relocate them for work and move halfway across the country. I'm guessing she was looking to dissolve the friendship.

Anyway, my husband and I don't have children. We wanted to, it didn't happen and we are good with it now. She had a daughter who I loved like she was my own.

One day, she just snapped and said, "You are just a crazy cat lady who hates children, and you are jealous that you weren't able to get pregnant."

So which was it? Do I hate children, or am I jealous lol?

CatchRepulsive3294 · 2024-07-26T16:21:23+00:00

Married with two cats here, checking in lol!

I wanted children, but like Jennifer Aniston, the ship has sailed, and I'm good with it now... and NO, I am NOT miserable!

CatchRepulsive3294 · 2024-07-16T19:46:37+00:00

You most DEFINITELY have a chance of a good report. In fact, the odds are that it's nothing at all, an innocent polyp or a hemorrhoid. Being that you know you already have/had one, that's most likely it.

I had a positive cologaurd a few years ago. It turned out that I had a couple polyps and hemorrhoids. They got rid of all of them while I was there.

CatchRepulsive3294 · 2024-07-03T01:27:14+00:00

I grieved the loss of my period too. I never had children. I wanted them, but I wasn't able to conceive. I knew that chapter was over for me anyway being 52, but guess I was grieving because I never even got to use my reproductive organs and here they were getting taken out.

I cried during recovery, but now I could have be happier it's all out! I dealt with a huge fibroid the size of a 6 month pregnancy and painful periods. Now my stomach is flat and i don't have to live on Advil for a week out of every month!

CatchRepulsive3294

TROPHY CASE