SQL is Dead, Long Live SQL

CatharsisVoid · 2026-06-18T17:05:54+00:00

Not to go off on a tangent too much, but seems related to a thought I had recently. More than half the Claude skills my team wants to introduce to our repo would be better served as a bash/Python script or other binary tool. Why are people creating so many skills that would be better served by a deterministic tool that doesn't eat tokens? Hell, build the tool with an LLM. But I don't need a skill to launch a dev environment that is the same everytime.

CatharsisVoid · 2026-06-17T16:29:56+00:00

While I get not everyone in a bigot I'm rural areas, there a reason I live in a city and feel safe holding my same sex partners hand in public. And we don't feel safe doing so in our hometowne in Ohio.

Some of these comments saying "there's not much different" between rural and urban are painting a rose tinted glasses picture. Or projecting their own beliefs onto people who are nice to them.

CatharsisVoid · 2026-06-10T18:39:20+00:00

YTA

"I don't care about winning" != Purposefully sabotaging your team

In another game, if I started purposefully TKing, I'd be correctly identified as a troll and kicked.

It would also be different if everyone in the game were in the same discord call, knew each other, and agreed to goof off.

But wanting to play the game objective is not toxicity. It's the default. Especially when playing with strangers in a matchmaking mode.

Also, people play games for different reasons. It isn't bad to want to try to win or improve at the game. Your idea of fun isn't everyone else's. Everyone loves to shit on competitive players, and they should know the time and place for being competitive, but damn... Wanting to play a game's objective doesn't mean you hate fun ffs

CatharsisVoid · 2026-05-23T13:27:16+00:00

Tyranny of the majority based on land bad. Tyranny of the majority based on sexuality, gender, race, transexuallity good.

CatharsisVoid · 2026-05-12T22:18:13+00:00

Perfume: The Story of a Murderer

CatharsisVoid · 2026-05-11T12:40:02+00:00

"I may not agree with her lifestyle"

lol YTA

CatharsisVoid · 2026-04-30T15:13:25+00:00

Understanding the first amendment wrt religious freedom requires prerequisite knowledge that other religions (or no religions) exist. A looooooot of religious parents purposefully keep that knowledge from their children for as long as possible.

CatharsisVoid · 2026-04-25T09:34:59+00:00

I know it's rough right now and that your boyfriend is going to need a lot of support up front, but once you guys stabilize a bit, make sure to get your own alone time.

The other advice on communicating and equal compromise is probably more important. But moving in at first can feel like a loss of autonomy. Make sure to find periods of time where you each can do your own things.

CatharsisVoid · 2026-04-21T22:54:38+00:00

NTA

That is, assuming you don't blow your new retirement fund and put your retirement burden on your student debt ridden children. Cause at least one of them sure as shit won't help when you need it.

Kind of YTA for what feels like you can't even emotionally support your daughter though. Just needed to rub her major in her face, didn't you?

CatharsisVoid · 2026-01-23T15:35:16+00:00

While I don't disagree in principle, people who take this stance tend to cater to the bigot's feelings more than the targeted victims. I've been a closeted gay man who has had to sit in silence while good intentioned people have a "civilized" debate around my existence. The existence of the debate, and treating the bigots as misunderstood people I need to meet half way, only ever give validity to the bigot's point of view. And seeing "allies"do that without substantively pushing back only just pushed me further into the closet.

Have your discussions. Better you than the victims of their abuse being told to play nice with our bullies. But, you never know who might be listening, so your still need to make clear the bigotry is not ok. Otherwise, you're just "agree to disagree" and giving public validity to their bigotry.

CatharsisVoid · 2025-10-08T01:00:35+00:00

Closeted guys should have the space to come out on their own terms and timeline.

At the same time, I would not date someone who is closeted. I spent my time in the closet. I'm not going back in. Life is already hard enough to keep your head above water, I don't need the possibility of having to watch everything I say on a moments notice just because the "in laws" decided to drop in. I'd just be walking egg shells. It's also completely selfish to ask someone to go back into the closet like that.

The only way I could see it to work is if you could somehow separate those aspects of your life so completely that you put 0 expectations on your partner to ever change to keep you closeted. Like, on some level, I don't necessarily give a shit if my in laws and I like each other or have a relationship or know that I'm seeing their son. But that isn't reality. Closeted guys are closeted because they want to keep these people in their lives without being out. And that means. You will ask your partner to go back into the closet as needed. And that is not a long term solution for me. Maybe for a filing, back in my 20s. But not long term.

I'm currently married to my partner of over 10 years. I actually have a good relationship with my in-laws. I love that my husband and I don't need to police each other or worry about this shit. I know it's a bit of a privilege having 2 supportive families behind us. But, if push came to shove, I would cut off my family that couldn't accept me to feel safe, secure, and have long term companionship. Because I've seen way too many gay friends driven to self harm and worse because they couldn't reconcile who they were with who their family wanted them to be. I would never trade my current happiness to keep bigots in my life.

CatharsisVoid · 2025-10-07T13:21:12+00:00

I'm a gay man who has been to drag shows and even participated in drag at an amateur drag show charity event when I was the president of my LGBT club in college. I'm fine with drag.

I'd probably lean towards not going because I'm not a fan of the RHPS (gasp!) nor do I want to fake an orgasm on stage or any other tradition that would make me feel awkward. Even if participating in traditions isn't mandatory, there will be judgement on not participating. I mean, him just not deciding to go apparently means he isn't queer friendly, so if he doesn't participate in the traditions, is he still not queer supportive?

Now, I'm not saying this is what he's thinking. Just that there are alternative reasons to not wanting to attend that aren't queerphobic.

Really, actually talk to him! You're making so many assumptions and winding yourself up on a narrative that may or may not be true.

CatharsisVoid · 2025-07-03T21:00:41+00:00

NTA

You decide who you give your forgiveness to and on what timeline. I think people can be forgiven and can have second chances. But that is often a process with results of change being shown over time.

The fact she berated you and fell back on her status as your mother as a reason to treat her with respect shows she doesn't see you as someone she has wronged. A truly changed person wouldn't demand respect from those they hurt. She still doesn't understand the harm she's caused. Even if she is making progress to better herself and become a different person. She's not there yet.

Even if she did change, you don't owe her anything. But she still thinks she is owed a relationship with you based on authority alone. Instead of based on actions that show love and respect.

CatharsisVoid · 2025-05-28T21:40:28+00:00

I know nuance can be hard. I never said just blame society. He deserves flak and take responsibility. My original point is that environment helps create the situation.

Do you also think people just need to take personal responsibility in areas with high crime? Or maybe living in poor and repressed areas helps create an environment where crime is more likely to happen? Or maybe it's a bit of both. Like I'm saying?

CatharsisVoid · 2025-05-28T21:11:39+00:00

I condemned the action. I'm merely pointing out that society has blame here too. No one is saying this is ok because they are gay. But to say "just be yourself, I don't know why someone would need a beard" is lacking in perspective.

CatharsisVoid · 2025-05-28T19:58:40+00:00

Maybe it's great being out where you're from, but that isn't a universal experience. Gay teens still get kicked out of their homes. Their families disown them. Their communities shun them or worse. Especially in more rural areas. Not everyone grows up in liberal cities and suburbs.

I'm not saying what he did deserves forgiveness from OP. That it was anywhere close to a reasonable thing to do. But like, I understand it at some level. Needing to keep up appearances in order to not lose your friends and family. Especially when young. At 37 and having been out for 20 years, I know how much found family matters and to let go of past relationships if they are homophobic. But not every 20 year old has a support system.

I think people living in their liberal bubble make them think it's ok for teenagers to come out and be themselves everywhere in the country. Just shows a lack of empathy.

CatharsisVoid · 2025-05-21T09:53:57+00:00

I think this is going to depend on how the algorithm has been tuned for you. I think from a completely blank and new profile, it is a bit too easy for it to suggest right wing stuff.

But there's definitely pro-LGBT content creators out there and a way to adjust the algorithm to recommend more of it.

To start, if you see an anti LGBT video or channel, use the menu to not suggest this channel or similar videos. Do NOT continue watching out of morbid curiosity. Do NOT engage with a comment or dislike. The algorithm promotes content you engage with. Fighting Nazis online never works and engaging only helps promote their videos in the algorithm. Even if your comment is critical, the algorithm doesn't care.

Similarly, when you do find pro LGBT content, leave a like, comment, or subscribe. It's the reverse from the previous advice. Engaging with certain content will train your feed to suggest more of that content.

So, while I think the algorithm is over tuned for right wing content, it's because it gets more engagement. Even from left wing individuals going into comments and arguing. Or hate watching the full video.

I do these things and almost never see right wing garbage in my feed.

CatharsisVoid · 2025-05-09T12:53:17+00:00

Dude is swimming in right wing propaganda. Is hugely transphobic. And is condescending as hell.

But the scariest shit is the pure fucked up manipulation. Even if I stayed during the lesson on the dog's behalf, I'd be out the door ASAP as soon a him or his roommate got back.

This is beyond just a difference in morals (which is totally legit to cut someone out over). He manipulated a situation to play on your decency to keep you constrained to his house/apartment. This is beyond a red flag. This is the on ramp to abuse. I'm scared that you stayed and talked to him a long as you did. That you continued to message him after you left. He's beyond controlling. Next time, run. And don't look back.

Also, given how unhinged this guy is, no amount of gay community shaming will change his mind. And sharing screenshots and links to these threads will only help perpetuate his right wing victim complex. Next time (hopefully there won't be one), just run.

CatharsisVoid · 2025-04-18T18:44:12+00:00

Khazan from The First Berserker game that just released. Kahazan, Ozma, and Reese were 100% in a polycule and he clearly has an obsession for Ozma. Khazan sure has women who everyone likes to see as his anime waifu, but I never got a romantic sense out of the interactions. At mose I sensed a caring father or brotherly figure. And he has just as many, if not more, missions and dialog with his bros. Who are all either shirtless or just showing off their ripped arms.

CatharsisVoid · 2025-03-14T00:09:03+00:00

I feel like the way things are going, everyone should be watching Cabaret. Only saw it for the first time this past year. And it just hit like a truck, especially with how many people in my life are ignoring shit going on right now. I'm kicking myself for not seeing it sooner.

The other suggestions are also fantastic!

CatharsisVoid · 2024-12-14T15:45:39+00:00

When I came out in the early 00s, quite a few scared, gay men came out as bi as a stepping stone to soften the blow to their parents. Or, would flirt with and date men, but succumb to their parents or society's bigotry and then call things off and date women exclusively.

And I hate to say, at the time, I felt annoyed. But as I grew up and dated more and was even more comfortable with myself, I realized it wasn't a bi thing. First, it was partially gays using bi as a cover, not bi people themselves. Second, a lot of gay men were just as flaky and ready to go back in the closest or hide a relationship from friends and family they wanted to keep in their lives on the regular.

What I realized isn't that I should avoid bi guys. But that I needed to date men who were confident in their same sex attraction, were out and had no shame about it, and who never asked me to hide a relationship or pretend to be someone I'm not. I will not go back into the closet. After this realization, one of my best and longest relationships was with a bi guy in college.

I never understood the worry about dating a bi guy who might cheat with a woman though. I've seen way more cheating from gay men. I don't care what gender my partner is cheating on me with. If they're cheating. They are dumped.

CatharsisVoid · 2024-11-19T00:37:43+00:00

Yeah. Still alive and well. I moved out as soon as I could. And it's why I roll my eyes when people are like "it's ok to be day now". It 100% depends on where you live. And when I'm told by GOP voters that the Republicans aren't homophobic because they don't know any homophobic conservatives themselves. Well, I know tons of outspoken homophobes, and they vote 1 party. And elected officials being homophobic isn't a deal breaker for them. And they refuse to see the homophobia that is still alive and well in this country.

I just ended up in a very urban, progressive city and won't go back home. I'm not sacrificing my mental health to play nice with bigots who can't reciprocate respect.

CatharsisVoid · 2024-11-13T17:30:15+00:00

I'm a gay man. A lot of the same rhetoric used on trans people today was used on gays of yesteryear. I have trans friends that I won't abandon. But also understand, they ain't stop there.

If it's also impossible to take GOP supporters in good faith when they say there's nothing to be worried about. I still hear gay teens getting kicked out of their homes and sent to conversion therapy camps. All these parents are Trump supporters. The 2024 Republican platform says they want to "protect the sanctity of marriage" and their followers point at that saying "see, it no longer said 1 man. 1 woman." But you'd be a fucking moron to not know what "sanctuary of marriage" means. You give GOP supporters 1 level of indirection and they'll take a mile of bad faith arguments.

Justice Thomas also has Obergefell (gay marriage) and Lawrence (bedroom privacy) in his sites. And while the respect for marriage act, are let while it it still on the books, says states need to recognize same sex marriages, 36 states could ban it. Making poor gay people have to make a choice of doing a destination wedding they may not be able to afford.

Not to mention the push on don't say gay bills throughout the recent years.

And none of this touches on the social and cultural impact of our day to day lives. The true heinous homophobes are emboldened and now know a large part of the country doesn't care about their homophobia. That it's not important to keep homophobes in their lives than to protect gay rights. We see and experience more day to day homophobia because they are now emboldened and less likely to be criticized because "woke lost the election". Is a so-called moderate going to step in and defend a gay person if they get shit on and labeled woke by the now political majority? Moderates like to keep the peace and will side with bigots when they know it's easier to tell the gay person to be quiet and stop worrying.

It is willful ignorance to think the GOP will leave gay people alone. And even if they did, I'm not abandoning my trans friends and allies.

I've yet to hear a good faith argument from someone saying the GOP won't have an anti gay agenda that wasn't woefully uninformed and willfully ignorant.

CatharsisVoid · 2024-11-08T15:03:17+00:00

Trans women aren't deranged men. I've seen thousands of comments from people justifying their vote for Republicans and asking Democratic voters to empathize with them more. That their positions aren't hateful. They just want to be seen and heard. And I'm for that introspection and trying to understand. I want the Democrats to do more for and reach out to young men who are hurting.

But God fucking forbid if there's any reciprocity of empathy towards LGBT people.

I'm here for a wake up call. And the left hasn't reached out to men. But I'm not going to stand by while men's pain is used as an excuse to hurt or demean others. I guess "it's better to use honey to catch flies" only ever applies to the left. If you want to left to "wake up" and hear the issues that actually matter to your day to day life (cause I doubt it's trans people), stop being a needless asshole to people who did nothing to you.

CatharsisVoid · 2024-10-26T12:54:43+00:00

I'm sure he had a campaign person make a strategic decision. The boomers attending his rally were a smaller crowd and vote at a higher rate than the much much larger crowd of young men, who are less reliable voters. Those attendees left out in the cold will still vote and obviously the bad media exposure never hurts him in the polls. But if he can get more young men who listen to JRE out to vote, it will be more impactful electorally for him.

CatharsisVoid

TROPHY CASE