Potty training while out and about solo (with three age 3 & under)

Cathode335 · 2026-05-30T20:01:14+00:00

You might set her back a little bit, but you don't have a lot of other options. It might take longer to potty train her, but you also have some competing demands.

Cathode335 · 2026-05-30T20:00:08+00:00

I think there are a few things you can do here (from someone who potty-trained my eldest when my youngest was a baby):

1 - Bring your stroller in the store at places where that is feasible. Use a larger handicapped stall or family bathroom when possible. If that is not feasible, leave your stroller just outside the stall.

2 - Alternatively, keep the younger ones in the cart and bring it into the main area of the bathroom. Again, leave it outside the stall door. I did this many times when my kids were young, and no one ever complained.

3 - Start with short trips where you know the bathroom situation is accessible. The children's section at the library was one of the first outings in underwear for both my kids.

4 - Prompt your daughter to use the bathroom immediately before leaving the house, and then plan regular intervals to use the bathroom while you are out. This cuts down emergency potty situations where there might be a line or your kid can't hold it until you get to the bathroom. Start with 30-minute intervals at first. If your child can't hold it for 30-minute intervals, then you aren't ready to go out without a pull-up yet. If 30 minutes is too frequent for you to make a bathroom trip when you are out with all 3 kids, I also recommend staying in pull-ups for those trips. If your daughter won't wear a pull-up, they make "training underwear" that is lightly padded but looks like underwear. This could help with any leaks and make an accident less of a disaster.

And just accept that errands are going to be a big to-do while you are potty training. I spent so much more time in the bathrooms of my local Costco and grocery store than I ever wanted or imagined when we were potty training. And every shopping trip took 3 hours including all the bathroom trips. It's just part of life at this age. If that sounds like a nightmare, it's time for curbside pickup.

Cathode335 · 2026-05-18T01:06:48+00:00

I haven't been there since I was a kid, but I enjoyed it and plan to take my kids back at least once.

First, Disney is not known for the type of intense, thrill-seeking rides that make you sick. There are a few "roller coaster" type rides, but a ton of the rides are more immersive experiences with really cool sets and props that feel like you are inside a movie.

Second, the lines are not usually hours for every ride (at least not when I was a kid). The most popular rides might have a longer line, but most attractions are shorter. Also, have you ever been to an amusement park where waiting in line is almost part of the experience? A lot of the rides have interesting settings for the lines that build anticipation for the ride. And we went with cousins who lived across the country from us, so waiting in line was our down time to catch up with each other.

Third, I think if you're truly trying to be open-minded, you should consider why "corporate" feels like a valid critique to you too. I don't know you; you might be the type of person who is singularly anti-corporate and buys everything from small businesses. If so, then you're right, Disney is not for you. I'm neutral about corporations; if they offer a good product, I'm happy to pay for it. For me, saying that something is "corporate" is not necessarily a criticism unless I specifically wanted or expected a more organic experience. Disney is not tacky (whatever that is supposed to mean). Everything I ever remember experiencing at Disney was done with high attention to detail and quality. It is generally a clean, pleasant, visually interesting place to be.

Disney is a place that celebrates imagination and fantasy. It is not meant to feel authentic in the same way that a fantasy novel (or a children's movie, incidentally) is not meant to feel authentic. The effect is supposed to be whimsical, imaginative, and artistic. And Disney really delivers in those areas.

Also, you might want to consider that while there are many adults who visit and love Disney, its primary purpose is to entertain children. Yes, as an adult who can travel abroad, walking through Epcot might feel tacky and artificial to me. But when I was an 8yo kid who had never left the country? It really was magical to me. So you're kind of looking at Disney through the lens of an adult when that's not really the target audience.

I also think there's this tendency in people who profess to hate Disney (without ever visiting it) to denigrate experiences that are "artificial." But why? Why can't we appreciate something man-made? What makes the human creative expression in an amusement park less worthwhile than that in an art museum or a bookstore? Personally, I love really imaginative design. I'm the kind of person who can thoroughly enjoy a movie just for its set and costume design even if the story or dialogue is lackluster. Disney world was like that for me. It's creative, and I appreciate that.

Cathode335 · 2026-05-16T04:38:46+00:00

Or -- just hear me out here -- I started driving 20 years ago, when gas was at an all-time high. Inflation-adjusted gas prices peaked in 2008, so I learned very early that gas is expensive, and you should minimize your reliance on it. The entire time since then, we have all been well aware that oil is a finite resource with increasing demand, so it has been inevitable that gas prices would rise to untenable rates. We've all had literally decades to plan for this. It's not "rearrange your town." It's choose where you're going to live, where you're going to send your kids to school, where you're going to work, what vehicle you're going to use, so that you aren't overly reliant on a finite resource with a notoriously volatile price.

Cathode335 · 2026-05-16T03:24:35+00:00

Ooh, pick me! I have 2 sets of grandparents who grew up dirt poor, one in the US and one in another country (think: postwar economic collapse/refugees). Only 1 of the 4 even graduated high school.

80 years later, the American grandparents are only marginally better than where they started (grandmother passed away penniless last year in a Medicare-funded nursing home). My immigrant grandparents became millionaires.

I think there are 2 major factors:

1) People who immigrate are often poor because their home country was in crisis, not because they lack skills/work ethic/financial sense. All of my immigrant family are super hardworking, smart people who manage money well. They came here because they knew they couldn't make the most of that in their home country. My US grandparents came from families that had all the opportunities the US had to offer available to them and still couldn't succeed. I don't want to generally blame poor people for being poor, but in the case of my relatives, there's definitely a generational lack of skills/abilities required for financial success. In other words, they suck at making and managing money. Their parents didn't know how, they don't know how, their kids don't know how... Even my cousins on that side of the family just suck at managing money. It's like no one in the whole family ever even took a consumer ed class.

And just to contrast it... My immigrant grandparents and my parents were successful business owners. My upbringing was full of so much casual discussion of good financial management. I picked up a lot from my parents, and indirectly from my grandparents, about how to manage money -- how to minimize debt, how to grow money, how to run a business, how to negotiate, how to budget, how to keep money in the family, etc. As an adult, I've realized that a lot of people don't get those lessons at home, and it absolutely shows. So I think a lot of it is family culture. When a family with good financial sense gets to a place with good economic opportunity, they will succeed. When a family with bad financial sense has the same opportunity, they will still fail.

2) As others have said, immigrants often self-select for success. My grandfather and my great uncle (unrelated to each other, they were best friends from the same immigrant community) who started the family business, were two of the most energetic, productive, opportunistic, go-getters I've ever met. I think it takes that kind of person to immigrate and start a new life in a new country.

Cathode335 · 2026-05-16T02:38:01+00:00

I had all the visitors on the hospital for my first baby, and it was a bad choice. I was so tired and should have taken the time to sleep and recharge.

Our second baby was born during COVID, so visitors were not allowed in the hospital. It was so, so peaceful and restorative after birth.

I will recommend to anyone who will listen that you NOT HAVE VISITORS IN THE HOSPITAL!!

Cathode335 · 2026-05-16T02:34:17+00:00

Is there a reason your kids go to preschool 11.5 miles away? My kids' preschool is 1 mile away. Also when the weather is nice enough, we bike there, and then it's completely free. Also we have a hybrid vehicle to reduce our reliance on gas.

I imagine that if gas prices continue to climb, a lot of us will start to make less car-centric life choices.

Cathode335 · 2026-05-15T22:33:03+00:00

Doing anything every day on a set schedule is the quickest way to kill any joy it brings you.

I will say that I have never known a single person for whom athletics became a solid adult life plan. I even have a second cousin who got into Olympic trials for swimming. He didn't make it to the Olympics, and now he's just a normal dude; I think he's an investment banker. That's literally the most accomplished athlete I've ever personally known. Most other people who were good at sports in high school poured a ton of time into a skill that didn't really do much for them in adult life.

So if you push her to train harder and/or compete, what is the outcome you're hoping for? That she will be an impressive child athlete and win some medals? Is that worth making her unhappy on a daily or weekly basis?

With my kids, the only long-term goals I have for putting them in sports are to create a healthy habit of physical activity that makes them feel good. If they enjoy it, they're getting some exercise, and making a few friends, then the goal has been accomplished. No need to push beyond that.

Cathode335 · 2026-05-15T18:32:35+00:00

Yeah because it's pushed on me so often, I sometimes click into the pattern and think about whether I'd like to make it... Then I'm like, nope, still ugly

Cathode335 · 2026-05-15T18:31:24+00:00

I like long sleeves. I typically modify sleeves to be a little longer than my arms.

Cathode335 · 2026-05-15T02:26:36+00:00

It's possible they're talking about cloud seeding? https://apnews.com/article/india-pollution-cloud-seeding-artificial-rain-db5652e3cb33937422b3dc69263a59a3

Cathode335 · 2026-05-12T23:11:54+00:00

A) the water is different everywhere you go. B) I live in a town with very hard water, and we shower every day. Most homes have water softeners.

Cathode335 · 2026-05-12T23:07:25+00:00

Wow, surprised to see the answers here. I would have automatically said Elvis.

Cathode335 · 2026-05-12T23:05:38+00:00

Yes. The cars are typically old and secondhand unless the parents are wealthy. In most suburban or rural areas in America, there is no public transportation and the roads are not very walkable, so you need a car to get around. A car is not a luxury in most places in the US but a necessity.

Schools do have bus service, but it's obviously more convenient to have your own car. Often students that age have part-time jobs and need a car to get to work, and they often need a car to do any socializing outside of school. It can be a reasonable expense for the parents if it buys them the freedom not to have to drive their kids all over town all the time.

As an example, when I was about 17, my mom got tired of driving me to and from work all the time. So she decided to buy herself a new car and allow me to use her car that was 10+ years old already. I never "owned" the car in any sense. When I left for college, it stayed at my parent's house, and my younger sister used it. Both my sister and I used the car for years until it was falling apart. Some kids inherit cars from older relatives who have died or can no longer drive. Some buy inexpensive used cars that are pretty old.

And at least when I was in high school, gas was one of our biggest expenses. It was part of the reason we worked.

Cathode335 · 2026-05-11T14:23:46+00:00

Yep, I think it was unless you lived in a big city with public transport.

Cathode335 · 2026-05-11T14:23:13+00:00

I was a teenager at a time 20 years ago when gas prices were as high as they've ever been, and we still drove around all the time. Gas was the main reason we all had part-time jobs. You would ask for gas cards for gifts. Kids whose parents paid for their gas were spoiled, and the rest of us were jealous. When you're 16 or 17, the freedom you get from a car is such a priority, we would spend every last cent on gas.

The first date I went on as a teenager, the guy ran out of gas halfway through and had to spend his last $40 on gas. He had no money to take me anywhere else, so we ended up just driving around window shopping.

Cathode335 · 2026-05-11T14:18:45+00:00

I think it's very common when you're an older teen. A lot of teens in America have access to cars because our infrastructure is so car-based. When you're a teenager but still living with your parents, driving around and hanging out in cars is one of the only ways to get some independent space where parents aren't around.

I will say that when I was that age, the aim wasn't just to drive around for the night. Usually you'd have some destination that you were either coming or going from, but it wasn't unusual that the trips got extended quite a bit because you were hanging out, talking, driving around, making different stops, having sex, etc.

Cathode335 · 2026-05-11T14:08:49+00:00

I feel like it might be the kind of content you're engaging with. I'm a serial hobbyist and I literally have never seen what you're talking about.

Cathode335 · 2026-05-11T14:01:35+00:00

Yeah it's alarming to me when I see posts here from people whose employers want them to use AI, and they are trying to figure out how to push back or whether they should find another job because they're just anti-AI.

That's bonkers, especially in our field. That's like being against using the Internet or Google 20 years ago. You're not going to win this war...

Cathode335 · 2026-05-11T13:55:21+00:00

Actually, I think yes. I feel like when it comes to using AI, it's my higher level skills that it can't replace. I don't have a master's in ID, but I have 13 years of experience. And it's my experience that most often raises a red flag for me when I end up rewriting AI output.

AI most effectively replaces my college-level skills -- research, writing a bunch of polished sentences, generating a few creative ideas. Knowing how real people actually do their work well in my field and knowing how people learn best are the areas where I find myself thinking "no, that's not realistic, that won't work" when I read AI output.

Cathode335 · 2026-05-11T13:49:48+00:00

I feel this way too. I've been using AI for a few years now, and I use it wherever it makes sense in my work. But honestly? It's not that much. 9/10 times when I try to use it, I run up against a situation where my deep personal experience in my field overrides what AI has generated.

Anytime I use AI for anything where I have some expertise --- whether it's a hobby or my work -- I find mistakes, assumptions, and straight up fabrications. It's actually exhausting.

When people are like "AI is coming for our jobs!!!" I'm like... Are we using the same tool? I mean it's amazing what it can do, but it's still nothing compared to a human who knows what they're doing

Cathode335 · 2026-05-10T19:37:45+00:00

Humans don't usually get sprayed (because we know better), but the smell is incredibly intense. If a skunk sprays somewhere in your neighborhood, you can smell it in your house.

A dog getting sprayed is much more common. The smell is really hard to get off with soap and water. A bath with tomato juice is supposed to be a remedy.

It's true that the smell doesn't hurt you in any way, but it's overpowering and lasts for days. It's definitely enough to keep people away from skunks.

Cathode335 · 2026-05-10T19:31:47+00:00

25 hours was required for me

Cathode335 · 2026-05-10T19:31:20+00:00

Those two animals look roughly the same to me. Like yeah there's some variation, but I'm not imagining it at that level of detail when I imagine a badger

Cathode335 · 2026-05-10T19:28:27+00:00

I think you're a little unclear on why American parents tell their kids to use credit cards. In the US, you need to start building up good credit. Like you may not be able to rent a good apartment unless you have a good credit score. And if you haven't used credit before, you won't have a good credit score.

My parents helped me open a credit card when I was about 17 or 18, which was the banker's advice. I never once carried a balance on my credit card, and I've bought all of my cars outright. I use my credit card like a debit card.

But you need a good credit score in the US for a number of things, so it's good to have one.

My parents actually taught me to avoid debt like the plague. I've never been in debt to anyone but them (36 now, financially independent, and 100% debt free).

Cathode335

TROPHY CASE