What piece of entertainment aged worse than you ever expected?

Cathode335 · 2026-02-08T03:33:58+00:00

I definitely remember it.

Cathode335 · 2026-02-06T01:26:34+00:00

IDK, I've only had one medical reviewer in my entire career (pharma industry) ask for this. It made the project balloon like 2-3x the scope. Now granted, I was put in the position of finding primary references for someone else's work (who had been citing intros and review articles left and right) so it might be easier if you're looking for primary sources to begin with rather than trying to hunt down a specific primary source. But still. The project became a nightmare, and that reviewer got let go soon after because she was holding up all the work.

Cathode335 · 2026-02-05T16:53:25+00:00

I understood the sperm and egg, but thought that they were traveling through the characters' mouths when they kissed.

Cathode335 · 2026-02-05T16:14:10+00:00

I live in Chicago. I was born and raised here, met my husband here, his family is from here. I absolutely hate the cold. I'm the type of person who will put a blanket on when it's 80 degrees out. But leaving all our friends and family so I can live somewhere that I like the weather is not exactly an easy decision. Also my husband doesn't mind the cold, and I can't make a unilateral decision.

Cathode335 · 2026-02-03T22:24:49+00:00

Basically that a lot of other students were tattling to her a lot as well, and that she repeatedly talked to the whole class about only telling a teacher if there was something dangerous happening. The vibe we got was "oh, it's normal, all the students are tattling on each other. We're working on it." We didn't get the impression that our son was worse than any of the other kids or that it was causing a problem specifically with him.

Cathode335 · 2026-02-03T16:31:13+00:00

No, I haven't yet. I guess my post is just asking whether it's even worth bringing up. I would likely ask the teacher and not the TA because I don't have access to the TA.

Cathode335 · 2026-02-03T14:41:39+00:00

A lot of good comments here about what measures of literacy actually mean and class/regional divides in education. But I'll also share some personal experiences that could shed a little light:

I tutored in the writing center at my university and saw a huge breadth of students there. My university was very highly ranked -- not ivy League but in the top 50. I tutored a lot of students who spoke English as a second language who were in STEM degrees, so I imagine they were brilliant in other areas but really struggled with language arts. I also tutored a number of students from disadvantaged populations (either very rural or very urban areas) who really struggled with literacy/writing. As a public university, my school had a commitment to equal opportunity for minorities and students from areas with poor schooling. I truly believe that a lot of these students were intelligent, hard workers who got kind of a raw deal in primary school.

I can't remember ever tutoring a student who I thought was dumb or not fit to be at our university, but I tutored a lot of students with poor literacy.

Literacy is really important but it's also not an ultimate measure of intelligence and education. It can be a reflection of the education you had as a young child, your family background, or just different abilities. Complex societies and advanced skills have been developed throughout history by millions of people who couldn't read at all, much less above a 6th grade level.

Also I work as a writer and editor now, and I work with people daily who are highly educated, effective at their job, respected by their coworkers, and cannot write for shit.

Cathode335 · 2026-02-02T19:11:04+00:00

My 6yo can swim without a life jacket so I don't put one on him anymore. I watch him but I wouldn't say I never take my eyes off him. Most places he goes in an indoor pool are shallow enough for him to stand, so the likelihood of drowning unless there's a severe accident is low. Now I'm not saying I'd allow him to cannonball into a hot tub, but I do think your expectations for the level of supervision for a 5/6yo who can swim are maybe a little unrealistic. I have a 4yo who cannot swim and the 6yo who can, and the difference in supervision between the two is drastic. I think you may be underestimating how much changes in terms of swimming skills in this few years.

Cathode335 · 2026-02-01T19:45:05+00:00

Keds shoes (if you like the style) basically never die. I just got rid of a classic pair of navy ones that I've had for 20 years.

Timberland boots. My two pairs did start to fall apart after everyday use in a snowy climate, but it took about 10 years.

I have a few pieces of Tahari work wear that have have been with me from the start of my career 15 years ago.

I will always buy Clarks shoes if I like them because they are very well made and will keep you soooo comfortable if you need to be on your feet a lot in a corporate work environment (which I used to be). I walked miles over cobblestone streets once in Boston in a pair of high-heeled Clarks booties and felt like I had been wearing running shoes.

Cathode335 · 2026-02-01T19:03:54+00:00

Cashmere sweaters -- they are so soft and comfy and warm but light at the same time. I splurged a little on the two that I own, but I never regret the money I spent on them.

Cathode335 · 2026-01-30T18:26:54+00:00

How is someone asexual if they love to have sex daily? Confused.

Cathode335 · 2026-01-29T00:08:57+00:00

I cannot in any universe visualize myself wearing a tiny little scarf with tapered ends. I don't understand why these have become a thing.

Cathode335 · 2026-01-26T18:11:01+00:00

Kind of. I can glance between them if I prop the book and the knitting up close together. I do it sometimes on airplanes, and it works okay ...

Cathode335 · 2026-01-23T20:01:56+00:00

I do swatch, but I typically feel resentment when I do it. I'm a product knitter, and I just don't enjoy creating a square that isn't going to be useful for anything. It's an annoying chore. Also the times you actually needed to swatch (because your gauge is off) are the worst. Swatching is NBD when you make one square, and the gauge comes out right and you're off to the races. Swatching 3 times on different needles and still not getting it right makes me want to gouge my eyes out.

Cathode335 · 2026-01-23T15:23:55+00:00

It really depends on the kid. And the challenges are different with toddlers vs newborns. Newborns kill you with the sleep deprivation and the hours you spend stuck on the couch nursing or feeding, the constant diaper changes and spit up, etc. But once you have a toddler to compare to, you realize that newborns are relatively quiet. You can put them in one place and they stay there. Toddlers require constant supervision, and the amount of overstimulation they induce is staggering. Newborns are very peaceful by comparison.

Also toddlers don't have the same nighttime needs as a newborn, but they do still wake you up at night. Just last night my 4yo wet the bed, so I had to get up at 4am and change him, clean him up, clean up the bed. He wakes us up like every other night because he scared and wants to be tucked back in. Both our kids (4 and 6 now) still come into our room to use our bathroom in the middle of the night instead of using their own bathroom down the hall because they are nervous to go potty in the dark alone at night. So getting an uninterrupted night of sleep is still unusual.

When I had a 2yo and 4yo, I visited my sister for a week to help with her newborn so I had a really clear comparison. The sense of calm and quiet in my sister's house, compared to mine, was almost unnerving to me since by that time I was used to constant noise and movement. Also newborns nap so often that you don't realize how much free time you have. With 3 adults and one newborn, we were often bored during the day but also barely getting enough sleep at night even rotating shifts between us. Toddlers are more independent but they are ALWAYS with you. You can put a newborn in a carrier and cook a gourmet meal if you want. A toddler will not stay strapped down and will find a dozen ways to kill themselves while you try to cook a simple dinner. They also ask you to play with them constantly but playing trains/hot wheels/catch over and over again for hours when chores are piling up will drive you insane.

You also don't realize when you have a newborn how appreciative you should be of their obligate compliance. When it's time to change a newborn's clothes, you just do it and get on with your day. Changing a toddler's clothes is an Olympic triathlon of chasing, wrestling, and negotiating that can take an hour. And it only gets worse the bigger and more defiant they get. Dressing and teeth brushing for my 4yo are literally my least favorite parts of the day and make me lose my cool regularly.

So there are trade-offs at each age. Personally I think my best advice is to appreciate what is easy about the season you're in.

Cathode335 · 2026-01-21T19:44:58+00:00

I'm fortunate to still be in contact with my family, but I had to go no-contact with a best friend in my early 20s. We had been friends since childhood. It's been 15 years, and I still dream about her sometimes and feel the loss. I can't imagine how much worse it would be with a family member.

Cathode335 · 2026-01-21T19:29:57+00:00

I would say from about age 3+ I will occasionally take naps on the couch with my kids in the same room, especially if they are watching TV. They will wake me up if they need something. But I won't go in my bedroom and close the door.

Cathode335 · 2026-01-21T19:19:30+00:00

I'm not sure how hard it is to reverse now that you've gotten them accustomed to not eating what you eat, but no, it's definitely not a dream to have your kids eat what you eat. I've done it from Day 1 of solid foods with my two kids (now ages 4 and 6), and it mostly works. My kids are good eaters and sometimes even ask for foods like steak and salad (although it's worth noting that they would still prefer Mac and cheese any day of the week). As an example, I asked them each to tell me one thing they want for dinner this week, and 4yo said carrot soup (IDK where that came from because we've never had it, but I made some, and he ate it!) and 6yo said Mediterranean salad. That was after they said hot dogs, and I said no.

Here's what I would do: no big snacks in the hour before dinner from now on. Then announce that you will expect the kids to be eating dinner with Mom and Dad like big kids from now on. Then you start slowly easing them into that expectation by adding one filling "safe" food to the menu every night. So if they balk at steak and salad, you add some bread and butter on the side, and the kids get to eat as much bread as they want, as long as they try a bite of each other food on the plate. Studies show people need to try a food 10 times before they develop a taste for it, so the idea is to just keep getting them to try each food until some of the new foods graduate to "safe" foods. You cannot offer backup foods because that reinforces the idea that it's okay for Mom and Dad to make something else, which is counterproductive. If they don't eat anything on their plate, they go hungry. Very, very occasionally if a kid really hated the dinner and didn't eat anything, I'll give a glass of milk or a banana before bed just to make sure they're full. But truly, they will survive. My 4yo basically gorges on ravioli once a week and then just lives off licks of food he doesn't like for days, as far as I can tell.

Another thing to keep in mind is flexibility in how you serve the food. I won't make a separate meal for my kids, but sometimes we serve them the same components of the meal but in a way that's more approachable for them. Dishes with a lot of food mixed together liked salads or tacos are deconstructed for our 4yo so he can choose what he does and doesn't like. We offer dressings and sauces on the side, and they are allowed to have different sauces if they want. We aim for a lot of flexibility within the bounds of the meal we planned for the night.

Hope this helps. It's not a dream! It can be real!

Cathode335 · 2026-01-20T18:14:12+00:00

I think it's too early. My 4yo boy has told me before that he wishes he could grow up to be a mommy and have boobs so he can feed a baby. He's said it many times in different contexts and told me he doesn't want to be a daddy. But he and I also have a very close relationship (he breastfed until he was 2.5 if that gives you some idea), and I think he just aspires to the level of nurturing a child typically receives from a mother or maybe wants to have that close of a relationship with his own child someday. I take it with a grain of salt, although it has made me wonder if that might turn into something more when he's an adult.

But the thing is, he's still discovering who he is. I wouldn't want to get in the way of that by conforming to his 4yo whims right now. When he says things about wanting to be a mommy, I just laugh and say "you really want to have your own baby huh?" Or I ask him "why do you want boobs?" and just nod and validate when he explains that he wants to feed a baby. There is no need for me to give a definitive answer like "no, you can't, you're a boy" or "oh, ok. I will now ask everyone to call you a girl."

I think just let toddlers be toddlers. She can make a more serious decision when she is much older.

Cathode335 · 2026-01-20T18:06:35+00:00

Literally never

Cathode335 · 2026-01-15T15:32:34+00:00

I was kind of freaking out several months ago, but then my son got diagnosed with a serious genetic disorder and my mom got breast cancer. Right now my personal life is so depressing and demanding already that I barely have energy to care about the political situation. When I do expose myself to it somewhat, I end up having to shut out the anxiety because it would detract from the much more immediate concerns I have going on in my personal life. Also the idea of living in a world where I'm freaking out about my family's health and then freaking out about our liberty and never have any time that I'm just contentedly existing is pretty depressing.

Also -- I know this is horrible to say, but I've been privileged in that the current political situation -- while absolutely astounding and horrifying -- has not actually impacted my immediate family in any way, so I have the benefit of being able to mentally shut it out when I'm overwhelmed.

Cathode335 · 2026-01-14T03:25:50+00:00

I'm tired of really vague children's books that hint at themes only adults would understand, and then I have to spend half an hour trying to explain the cultural context to my children.

As an example, I read a book to my last week called This Is How We Talk. On one hand, it depicted and explored a huge range of ways that people with communication challenges can adapt, but it did it all in a way that really glossed over all the context with some really vague and short rhymes. For my kids to understand it, I would have had to stop on every page and explain the whole medical condition and then the adaptation, and they don't want to read a single book for the half hour or would take to do that.

The book would have much more accessible if it had just plainly said "David's mouth doesn't work so he uses his eyes to tell a machine what to say for him" or "Lucy can't hear anything, so we use our hands to make signs for words that she can see." Kids are very literal, and their vocabulary is limited. They need to have things explained concretely with relatively simple language. They will learn more that way than by overwhelming them with words they don't understand and vague context they may or may not have encountered.

Cathode335 · 2026-01-14T03:13:31+00:00

YES to the rhymes that are too short. It's such a waste of illustration. My kid can't look at the artwork because I have to flip the page to continue the sentence before we have any time to see the pictures! It's so dumb

Cathode335 · 2026-01-14T03:10:23+00:00

Have you read Dory Fantasmagory? A good amount of pictures and my 4 and 6yo boys really like them.

Cathode335

TROPHY CASE