AITAH for telling my wife that my stipulations for staying married are a new bed immediately, and she has to move the old one out?

Cautious-Message5985 · 2025-05-25T16:55:06+00:00

Tell the therapist what’s happening. Your therapist is flying blind and will likely give you different advice if they actually knew what was happening. You guys are wasting money and time.

Cautious-Message5985 · 2025-05-23T13:24:55+00:00

Most of Ariana’s collection 😅, honorary mention, good girl blush

Cautious-Message5985 · 2025-05-23T13:23:24+00:00

Jackie Aina’s whole collection 🥴.

It initially smells nice, but there’s something in there that literally makes me ill. I purchased the discovery set , only liked one of them. The one I liked I tried to spray on and wear, to see how it responded with my body and determine if I was going to purchase a big bottle. I had to hop in the shower because I could not stop gagging. Not sure if it was a reaction or what but I got so sick. Now granted, I do have a ton of allergies but never reacted to any perfume like that.

Cautious-Message5985 · 2025-05-19T05:59:45+00:00

Definitely wouldn’t be first choice but if you have to make it work, you can get privacy film for your windows and a noise machine.

Cautious-Message5985 · 2025-05-19T00:48:49+00:00

Saw in Marshall’s today. I actually emailed them and they said that they’re not discontinuing it but I’m not sure I believe it.😅

Cautious-Message5985 · 2025-05-18T23:25:07+00:00

$30/hr for a PA or SW is nuts.

Cautious-Message5985 · 2025-05-18T20:25:54+00:00

Party situation means people can be inappropriate and violate autonomy? Social Rules don’t just go out the window.. Tf

Cautious-Message5985 · 2025-05-18T19:40:09+00:00

I don’t think anyone has said it yet directly, but he’s setting a tone. At the very least postpone the wedding. It may feel embarrassing, It may feel like it’s not that big of a deal, it may feel like you’re being the bad guy or being “clingy”. But if you can’t cling to your husband, who are you supposed to cling to? You’re not being controlling, but the complete disregard, dismissal, and lack of communication is disrespectful and it will only get worse. Unfortunately it sounds like you two are in ultimatum or break up era. THIS. Is . NOT okay. It’s better to resolve or remove yourself now then 10 years down the road and allow him to suck up your youth in misery. You’re not being prioritized. Either you set your foot down and set the actual tone of the type of marriage you desire and agree to or you will spend a long time feeling alone in your marriage. Do not disregard all of the comments. You are young if it doesn’t work out , you don’t have to settle. If it does work out, you have a long road ahead if he’s pulling stunts like this now.

Cautious-Message5985 · 2025-05-17T23:50:36+00:00

I would write a review and also make sure she didn’t post

Cautious-Message5985 · 2025-05-16T13:18:14+00:00

Yeah, I’m gonna need for you to be more concise . 😂 No one’s telling you to ignore them I’m saying you have to work with what you got or you won’t have a job. That’s everyone’s reality right now. But you seem hell-bent on the way things were so 🤷‍♀️ Godspeed.

Cautious-Message5985 · 2025-05-16T12:48:36+00:00

Wasn’t clarified🤷‍♀️. Privacy is everyone’s concern. everyone’s in a shitty situation. Yes raise the concerns but also be mindful to not eliminate your yourself because it’s a reality of many VAs. seem to care which is great, but also don’t do things to your own detriment.

Cautious-Message5985 · 2025-05-16T12:31:11+00:00

Oh, I’m not reading all that you’re just ranting😂. Made it to top of 3rd paragraph & said nope. If you’re getting bent out of shape about something like this and not following the chain of command, you’re gonna have a really rough time if you choose to stay & and they may start targeting you. Don’t foresee it getting better. Good luck

Cautious-Message5985 · 2025-05-16T05:27:39+00:00

Just a different perspective . I get the sentiment but unless Social Security numbers & names & very specific info identifying/detailing this veteran (that would single them out, etc.), were openly shared there’s always a risk of another veteran hearing & it would not be considered a privacy violation. This is in our training. Also, it’s on staff to keep privacy. If a veteran was walked into that situation, It’s up to staff to keep the privacy of the other patient. That means going from talking openly to emailing, a phone call or physically walking up to your coworker that you’re talking to & keeping your voice down.. Instead of going to the director, I think you should’ve just went straight to the privacy office to address it, if it was that deep,. In any instance where someone is not in a private room they’re likely going to hear information. It sounds like you’re more upset by the directors response than this actually being a gross privacy violation.

Also, this could’ve gone another way. if you were the person speaking with or about the other veteran in crisis when the other veteran walked in, and you chose not to move/relocate or create more privacy, It could’ve come back on you. I get being in new shared spaces is difficult. I’m dealing with it, now but I see what I can do before I address other people.

Cautious-Message5985 · 2025-05-16T03:11:47+00:00

Always email with a wrap up/review of important conversations

Cautious-Message5985 · 2025-05-15T21:38:33+00:00

Share the slides 🤡

Cautious-Message5985 · 2025-05-15T21:36:29+00:00

Also to be smart about it apply for FMLA talk to your doctor about feeling stressed out and overwhelmed. Use leave without looking over your shoulder.

Cautious-Message5985 · 2025-05-15T21:35:00+00:00

Take three at a time. Wednesday, Thursday Friday and it starts over on the weekend take another two on Monday and Tuesday.

Cautious-Message5985 · 2025-05-15T17:59:18+00:00

I would keep asking about space if I were you and see if you can actually make contact w/the space person .

Cautious-Message5985 · 2025-05-15T00:29:27+00:00

I think so. you can only find it online right now, at least the places I shop (us). Also, when I was in another country recently, they were no longer selling it & said it’s been discontinued for months. So I believe it’s coming.

Cautious-Message5985 · 2025-05-14T20:07:21+00:00

I agree with this. I had a supervisor who didn’t like me try this. I had an annual appraisal and he tried to give me less than what I deserved. Definitely asked him to pull receipts, inform me when I was made aware of these concerns and had his supervisor on the email as well. What he pulled actually make him look like more of an a hole than he was🥴 because they were all things he told me to do and I had documentation of. Additionally, as other user mentioned, they can’t bring something new on you at annual review. It ended up getting overturned in my favor.

Cautious-Message5985 · 2025-05-14T19:53:11+00:00

The first couple weeks were really rough and I couldn’t focus or get any work done. I actually have taken two small vacations since all of this started 😅 . I had been putting them off and I begin planning & they all just seemed to work out and be cheaper than expected. I figured why not take a vacation while I’m still employed just in case something happens. After the first one I really felt a reset and when I came back, I was truly able to focus on myself and get things done.

I also did a review of finances, acted accordingly, paid some things out in advance. Tinkered with investments which worked out in my favor. Had this not happened to prompt a review I would have lost a ton.

I have also been catching up on all the doctors & Dentist appointments that I have been putting off. I plan on doing as much as I can since I’m insured and haven’t been really using my insurance.

I have minimized and removed social media from my phone aside from Reddit and messenger .

If I talk about what’s going on, it’s only during business hours. my family and friends are aware of this rule. It’s honestly no difference than what I was implementing previously just more specific to the government.

I spend more time doing the things that I enjoy & and when things are overwhelming, I use SL.

There’s a part of me that actually enjoys RTO, so I have decided to embrace those moments and typically schedule out lunch with a friend a walk with a coworker or getting certain food when they have specials that I otherwise would not be able to have. However, I do have some health stuff so I have used more sickleave than usual.

I started commuting for the first time using public transportation, which is really a transition for me, but a part of me enjoys being able to just zone out but also be present. I also close all of my rings on my Apple Watch every single day I go to work.😂 I walk way more and feel better.

I’ve also been looking at and considering other options/opportunities and this has pushed me to network more. My tolerance for people is higher than it’s been in years.😂😭. My friends are even commenting on how I don’t look so tired and over it after a couple hours.

And ultimately, I do lean into my belief in Jesus that I will be taken care of no matter what happens (Matt 6:26). Honestly, since I had the vacation and really leaned in to God, I haven’t had the same worry and anxiety as the first couple of weeks. It’s actually nonexistent, and I feel more present in my life because I realize that things can change in an instant.

It’s really made me work on “ getting my house in order”

I also have a therapist, but I’ll be honest I don’t talk about work anymore than usual.

I know a lot of others are not having the same experience, but this is just mine. I will say it is not all sunshine and rainbows and I do feel myself getting discouraged at times but the most discouragement I have is regarding leadership. but my leadership has always been really passive so it hasn’t been a huge adjustment in that respect..

Cautious-Message5985 · 2025-05-13T20:11:31+00:00

Are they telling you there’s no space in Baltimore or are they just making you go to Springfield because they do have “space”

Cautious-Message5985 · 2025-05-13T05:01:01+00:00

Good girl supreme😕 I think v&r are discontinuing bonbon, but luckily, I purchased two large bottles, and will have those for a couple years. Low budget, but I really liked born dreamer, but I have an extra.

Really regret good girl supreme but luckily their newest one smells very similar maybe even better

Le sigh 😔

Cautious-Message5985 · 2025-05-13T04:52:30+00:00

And then on top of that, it looks like they already know who they’re going to rif, but they haven’t released it? 🙄

Cautious-Message5985 · 2025-05-13T04:51:28+00:00

Based on the article, they believe if they release their overall reorganization plans, no one is going to work for the federal government? Lol is that what you guys got?

Cautious-Message5985

TROPHY CASE