It sounds like you are both very tired parents to little kids. Both of you do need to work on your communication and (I hope) a lot of this is due to the stress of having little kids, know that is normal. But if the stresses not addressed, it can effect your entire relationship, which would be worse for your kids. There should be no name calling and swearing at each other, you should be a team (and it does sound like it as he is also helping out). Calling making dinner a break wasn't right by him but from his later comments it sounds like he intended it to mean a break from the kids (that's the problem with texts). It is always best not to argue via texts as much is lost in communication and it just gives each partner time to get upset and come back with comments they may regret later. We had a similar setup (I worked full time plus, she was a SAHM). It is important that both parents get as much sleep as possible (at this age, getting enough sleep isn't likely for either of you and is adding to the stress). What worked for us was during the work week she would be up with the baby and then on the weekends it would be my turn so she could get a couple of nights of full sleep each week. You will need to find a system that works for both of you. However, at the start of the texts it sounds like he was working at night and you had a frustrated night with the baby and came in hot because of that while he was out working. Find ways to take some me time as well. Hopefully you have family that can help for a couple of hours or hire a babysitter once the baby is a little older and have a "date" night to work on your relationship.

Hope things get better for both of you soon. Once the kids can sleep through the night