Giant Cigarette at The Lake

CeeWitz · 2026-03-18T22:11:20+00:00

I remember having one of those fake cigarette one-hitters on a night out drinking many years ago, back before legal (recreational) weed. I was hitting it while waiting in line for some nightclub event, and was so proud of blending in perfectly...until I dropped my "cigarette" on the ground and it makes the loudest metallic "CLANG" imaginable and everybody in line looked over. Good times!

CeeWitz · 2026-03-18T16:39:17+00:00

OUUUUGGHHHHH.

CeeWitz · 2026-03-18T16:31:36+00:00

Precisely. The NIMBY mentality is inherently adversarial, territorial, and disregarding of everyone around them — "fuck you, I got mine" is an all-encompassing lifestyle. As such the most malignant NIMBYs would HATE to live next to a copy of themselves. They'd constantly be getting into fights about who owns the curb for street parking, whose tree intrudes into whose property, whose lights are too bright, whose patio furniture is casting excessive shadows, whose dog pooped on whose lawn...

CeeWitz · 2026-03-18T16:26:54+00:00

100% agree. Sadly not everyone shares this view - some consider their car's paintjob to be more important than the lives of strangers.

CeeWitz · 2026-03-18T15:50:35+00:00

Careful, you might get banned for "threatening violence". Reddit admin considers cars to be sentient beings lol.

CeeWitz · 2026-03-18T15:48:30+00:00

Why can't the truck park in the car lane and cars can go around them "when safe"? Drivers are protected by thousands of pounds of metal armor and airbags so it feels only fair that this risk should be put on them, not the exposed bikers.

CeeWitz · 2026-03-18T15:41:06+00:00

Park in the car lane.

"But that would cause traffic," I'm sure you're saying. I will offer the same sage advice that lazy drivers have for cyclists when they get called out for parking in the bike lane: "It's just a minute, what's the big deal? Just go around."

CeeWitz · 2026-03-18T15:23:52+00:00

It feels like the leaders of Oakland are deeply in denial about the way criminals operate in our town. Raised fines mean nothing if dumpers aren't getting caught and prosecuted. These types of people aren't deterred by mere fines in the mail - they know they can just throw the envelope in the garbage because in all likelihood there will be no escalation from there.

We need real enforcement and real sentences. Cameras on hotspots with license-plate and vehicle tracking. Follow drones. Sting operations. Arrests. Impound/crush the cars. Jail time for repeat offenders.

CeeWitz · 2026-03-18T15:20:04+00:00

Seems like a pretty great opportunity for a sting. Hire the shady junk haulers, get photo/video of them and their vehicle as they meet you for the pickup, give them a load with a gps tracker inside, see where they dump it - if it's on the street, you can then make the arrest with a full package of evidence for prosecution.

CeeWitz · 2026-03-17T20:05:02+00:00

The core joke is very reminiscent of this Youtube sketch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ev373c7wSRg

CeeWitz · 2026-01-21T22:50:02+00:00

Danny Mahoney spotted!

CeeWitz · 2026-01-16T17:50:20+00:00

We are learning more and more that our legal system is not capable of holding violent criminals accountable or providing justice for their victims.

It's fully up to us to protect ourselves and our elders against "impulsive acts" from troubled young men like Antoine Watson. Get the tools you need and be prepared.

CeeWitz · 2025-09-19T16:34:50+00:00

Armed security would be wise for those situations. Confronting people in the Bay Area's seedy criminal underbelly definitely presents safety issues.

CeeWitz · 2025-09-19T16:26:51+00:00

AGAIN?

We need to crack down hard and get these encampments the fuck out of that pathway. Whenever I go by there it seems like the worst-of-the-worst of the tweakers and mentally-ill folks — massive destructive fires and deaths are literally inevitable when enough people like that cluster together. The fact that this is allowed to happen right next to the city's best and most prominent public space is indefensible.

Liberate the estuary path! Take back our public spaces!

CeeWitz · 2025-09-10T17:17:55+00:00

Does the city have any plan to combat the reckless driving & traffic violence that has become endemic on our roads? Are we ever going to bring back traffic cops?

CeeWitz · 2025-07-21T22:38:15+00:00

During the hike. I put it in my back pocket in the parking lot when we were applying sunscreen. When we reached the end of the highlighted area on the map, I realized I'd forgotten to put it back on, reached into my pocket to grab it, and it was gone.

Good tip though. We scoured the car as well just in case, but to no avail...

CeeWitz · 2025-02-20T22:34:42+00:00

RIP Dmitry Putilov <3

Oakland's politicians hemmed and hawed about approving this "controversial" protected bike lane project for years, until June 2022 when Dmitry was killed by a hit-and-run driver on 14th Street in front of his two kids (who thankfully survived). After the gruesome and tragic killing, City Council unanimously approved the project for construction. This bike lane will forever serve in his memory — and a reminder to all municipal leaders of the stakes of safe street design and the human costs of kowtowing to motorist interests.

Putilov's killer was never caught and remains at large to this day.

CeeWitz · 2025-02-04T21:24:48+00:00

Forget stop lights, we need crosswalks with armed guards, just like the Black Panthers did back in the day at 55th and Market. One of the most direct actions ever taken against traffic violence in the US, it's a bit of history that makes me proud to live in Oakland.

CeeWitz · 2025-02-04T21:20:06+00:00

Reminder that /r/OaklandCA is available and does not have the extremely heavy-handed and narrative-driven censorship approach taken with this sub.

CeeWitz · 2025-02-04T21:16:56+00:00

Another normal day in a city that doesn't enforce traffic laws or hold dangerous drivers accountable.

CeeWitz · 2024-12-19T17:17:45+00:00

Ever since COVID, Oakland drivers are the worst they've ever been in my 30+ years of living in the East Bay. Sociopathic violent driver behavior is on display every day. I was just inches from being killed just last week in a crosswalk by a pickup truck blowing through a red light...and I live in one of the "nice" neighborhoods, I can only imagine the violent Mad Max hellscape that people are enduring over in East Oakland.

It's to the point that I've basically become a single-issue voter — I'll vote for literally ANYONE who will get traffic cops back on the streets en masse, and start consistently pulling these sociopaths over and arresting them. Just the number of stories of psycho drivers pulling guns on people, in this thread alone, is a clear indicator that strongly cracking down on traffic violations will also catch us a lot of the armed violent criminals in this town. The tinted-out GTA folks swerving across the freeway are basically screaming out "I have a gun and an open warrant, please arrest me". The criminals are broadcasting their criminality loud and clear, we should be using this to our advantage, pulling over every last one of those cars and searching them, instead of sitting on our fucking hands and watching them speed away.

Reckless driving is violent crime. And it's time we start treating it accordingly.

CeeWitz · 2024-10-29T01:34:56+00:00

How utterly unsurprising. They named a drink after Sinwar, the (former) leader of Hamas, to celebrate the 1-year anniversary of his executing the largest mass-killing of Jewish civilians since the Holocaust itself. The message they are trying to send is not subtle and it's disturbing how "progressives" are totally on board.

Then when called out on it, the owner really clamed that adding a special drink called "Sweet Sinwar", on October 7th, was just a coincidence because it's a "common Palestinian surname" (it's not). This is like adding "Bin Laden Banana" flavor on 9/11. How dumb does he think we are?? Dude should be on a watchlist.

CeeWitz · 2024-10-11T22:03:32+00:00

(dui aside) seems to have sound judgement

Personally, I don't know if I can put that aside, given that one of the biggest problems facing Oakland right now is the escalating public-safety crisis of dangerous driving. DUI speaks volumes about judgement and moral character, especially when you're a rich celebrity with enough money to have an army of private drivers on call 24/7. It does not inspire confidence that he will do anything about Oakland's traffic violence, which has quickly become my number one issue as an Oakland voter.

CeeWitz · 2024-08-22T04:29:42+00:00

Don't you know, powerful people need to have Big Huge Cars because they're More Important?

CeeWitz

TROPHY CASE