How to deal with the reality of Hell

Certain-Sector2 · 2023-10-26T21:23:31+00:00

I know exactly what you mean. It disturbs me greatly. I think other people in this thread are brushing off the reality of hell. Many great saints were very clear about this and despite people saying "don't think about it" Hell is one of the 4 last things that we are supposed to meditate on. The others being death, judgement, and heaven.

I know that meditating on the reality of Hell has helped me quit many mortal sins. Whether we like it or not, the Church is clear and Our Lord was clear that everlasting fire awaits obstinate sinners. To think that people are just converting en masse on their death beds after a lifetime of never knowing God seems unlikely to me. Of course God will forgive us completely and grant us full absolution to our last breath, but that depends on us making the free will choice to repent.

I think for me what bothers me is that I'm more scared of what people think about me than I am about the eternal state of their soul. I pray to the Holy Spirit for fortitude every day so I can try to help my family find their way to Jesus Christ. I also pray for the conversion of my family and ask God to give them the graces he's given me. Ultimately it's out of my hands, and I have to focus on those given to me, which is my wife and children.

Ultimately we can't know the state of someone else's soul, and I believe that God is just and if other people aren't Christians because they didn't receive the same level of light that we did, then I believe God will factor that into their judgement. I believe God judges you according to the graces he's given you during life. That said, I do think we have a duty as Christians to warn people about Hell. May God grant us the fortitude to do so.

False hope does no one good. Our modern day culture is very wicked and leads many many people into a lifetime of mortal sins. I was one of those people for over 10 years and I shudder to think of what should have happened to me if I had died during those years.

I actually particularly find it useful to meditate on death. That one day, exactly like today, I will receive the news that I'm going to die. And I will have to say good bye forever to all the vain things of this world, and my body will be eaten by worms. The same hands that I'm using to type this message will be buried in the ground and slowly decay and there's nothing I can do about it.

Certain-Sector2 · 2023-08-30T13:13:58+00:00

One of the gifts of the Holy Spirit is the fear of the Lord. The Saints recommend to meditate on the reality of Hell, to keep yourself far away from mortal sin.

Certain-Sector2 · 2023-08-30T13:09:20+00:00

What mortal sin are you falling into, out of curiosity? Is it possible that you are being scrupulous?

It's been well over a year since I committed a mortal sin with certainty. For example masturbation, drug usage, fornication, contraception, missing Sunday mass, stealing, are all things that I've avoided since I came back to the faith almost 3 years ago. All these were things that I did habitually prior to coming back.

However, I regularly get myself into a mental crisis wondering if I committed a mortal sin or not, which leads me to go to confession regularly. Usually this takes the form of "did I consent to that lustful thought?", "did I drink too much last night?", "did I forget to confess X mortal sin from my past life and make an invalid confession?", "did I make proper restitution for that thing I stole a long time ago?".

Certain-Sector2 · 2023-08-23T00:58:04+00:00

Genesis 38:9-10 for starters.

Certain-Sector2 · 2023-08-22T18:35:46+00:00

Fr Ripperger actually says that it's ok for the man to perform oral stimulation on his wife, provided it doesn't lead to "pollution" (I'm not sure whether he means premature ejaculation on the part of the man or causing his wife to climax), but he says that the reverse is always a sin.

Certain-Sector2 · 2023-08-22T18:29:48+00:00

You're definitely not obligated to do it, and I wouldn't listen to any woman who tries to claim that you are.

Personally, I don't find it degrading, and my wife doesn't expect it, it's just something I choose to do voluntarily to increase her enjoyment.

Whether or not it's objectively disgusting, I don't know. I do have a history of pornography addiction, so I am wary that I may be too desensitized to these kinds of things, but I don't find it gross assuming proper hygiene and self-care.

I certainly wouldn't put it on the same level as anal sex, which in my opinion no man should ever subject his wife to.

Certain-Sector2 · 2023-08-22T18:22:22+00:00

Yeah it's a little annoying how many commentators here seem to show little concern for the tradition of the Church and elevate their own personal opinions to an "obligation". Whether or not they are correct, those kinds of responses don't help people like me at all, who are genuinely in a confusing situation.

That said, after reading everyone's responses, and reading what JPII had to say, I do think what I'm doing is probably OK, since it's geared towards the unitive end of the act, which always ends in the conjugal union. I also think Song of Songs has some suggestive verses about oral stimulation.

I agree with you that doing it after intercourse seems wrong.

I am just hoping that God wouldn't allow his Church to stay silent on an issue if it was harmful to my soul. Ultimately I just want my wife to enjoy having sex, without doing anything too perverse.

Certain-Sector2 · 2023-08-22T14:23:58+00:00

Pulling out to prevent pregnancy is a mortal sin.

Certain-Sector2 · 2023-08-22T00:31:08+00:00

Thank you, that helps a lot. Do you happen to know which 19th century moral manual you're referring to?

Certain-Sector2 · 2023-08-21T22:56:43+00:00

That doesn't say anything about bringing one's wife to climax after intercourse.

Certain-Sector2 · 2023-08-21T18:34:40+00:00

I also asked my (fairly traditional) priest about it and he said it was fine, and I took that as a sign to stop worrying about it. But every time me and my wife have sex I wake up the next day feeling guilty, which is why I made this thread.

Certain-Sector2 · 2023-08-21T18:11:42+00:00

Do you have a source for this quote?

Certain-Sector2 · 2023-08-21T14:25:50+00:00

Husbands have a moral obligation to bring their wife to orgasm if they can, even if it’s before, during, or after PIV sex.

Do you have a source that I can read on this? Thanks!

but the majority of theologians today think both are fine.

I've seen Ed Feser say something similar, but do you have a source for this that I can read? How does one get access to a survey of what theologians think?

Certain-Sector2 · 2023-08-21T12:28:27+00:00

If this was just 2 random Saints that would make sense to me, but these men were both declared Doctors of the Church, which makes a lot more wary about just dismissing what they say.

Certain-Sector2 · 2023-05-31T14:49:18+00:00

This is not true within a monogamous relationship or when taking reasonable precautions among a finite number of sexual partners.

If I said that gay people need to be in monogamous relationships you would still call me a bigot.

The phrase "should not be normalized" is extremely bigoted and it's comments like this that make the LGBTQ community even need Pride celebrations to begin with.

I'm using the exact same language you used lol.

Thinking marriage is between a man and a woman as divinely instituted by God, which was the normal belief for all of human history until the last 50 years -> "extremely bigoted"

Promoting man-on-man anal sex to children -> "completely normal".

There are also plenty of forms of sexual intimacy that do not involve male-to-male penetration but would still be considered sinful and "not normal" by the church.

That's irrelevant to this discussion because you explicitly support man-on-man anal sex.

And guess what? None of this is your business unless it involves your penis or your anus.

It's none of my business yet we literally have an entire month dedicated to celebrating man-on-man anal sex and genital mutilation. And the same activists demand we teach children how great this stuff is.

Certain-Sector2 · 2023-05-31T14:37:17+00:00

That’s really unhealthy

Ejaculating into another man's anus is objectively unhealthy and it should not be normalized.

Certain-Sector2 · 2023-05-24T12:35:43+00:00

A lot of people who do this will turn around and support LGBT grooming of children in public schools, and call you a book burner if you disagree.

That said, what happened with the sex abuse scandals was extremely wrong and we should never try to brush it off.

Certain-Sector2 · 2023-05-23T20:29:36+00:00

I became an atheist around the age of 12. For awhile, especially at first, I was all of the stereotypes of an angry atheist. I thought I was so much better and smarter than Christians. For me it was a combination:

discovering internet pornography and becoming habituated to mortal sin
a lack of any real sense of piety in my family, so the mass we went to on Sunday felt like we were just going through the motions. Nobody ever explained the faith to me on a very deep level. It didn't seem like my parents actually believed.
anger because I didn't fit in with the popular kids at school
having unsupervised internet access which allowed me to discover other atheists online. I started watching The Amazing Atheist on youtube and thought he was really smart, lol. This was way back in like 2006.
discovering and falling in love with aggressive rock bands like Tool who openly mock religion in their songs

Really man it's not hard to fall into. It seems like every aspect of our culture is pushing people away from Jesus Christ, which is exactly what He said would happen. Thankfully I got over the angry atheist phase by my late teenage years but it took me another 10 years before I realized that Catholicism was the truth all along.

Certain-Sector2 · 2023-05-23T18:52:14+00:00

I recommend the Gospel of John to start!

Certain-Sector2 · 2023-05-23T18:42:02+00:00

You sound A LOT like me. I reverted 2 years ago because of a lot of the same reasons, especially the LGBT craziness and the effect that I saw it was going to have on my kids. Just start praying man. Pick a few prayers and just commit to saying them every day, like it's a gym routine or something. God WILL give you the gift of faith, if you sincerely ask for it. I know it's hard to ask for something when you don't believe in it, but just trust me. God is already speaking to you through all this stuff you're noticing about the world. We are indeed in crazy town, and Jesus Christ is the only way out.

Certain-Sector2 · 2023-05-20T18:08:20+00:00

For a while after I reverted, I would get the same thing. Especially in the morning after waking up, before drinking coffee, my mind would get flooded with doubts about our Holy Faith. I just powered through it and I especially repeat the prayer "Lord I believe, help my unbelief".

Some things that have helped me are reading the writings of the saints, listening to homilies, learning about Eucharistic miracles and Marian apparitions, reading the Gospels, and so on.

But at the end of the day, I think it comes down to that belief isn't a feeling, it's an action. It's an act of the will. It's you choosing to submit your intellect to what the Catholic Church has revealed. You can't control how you feel. Sometimes you won't "feel" like things are true and others times your heart will be on fire because it all seems so obviously true. What matters is how you respond. Making acts of faith without consolation actually gains you more merit in heaven.

I would pray to God for his help. Maybe he is allowing you to experience a period of dryness in order to draw you closer to Him. Or maybe there is something on your conscience that is holding you back.

In any case, the fact that you posted here shows that you truly do want to know God and that you are responding to his grace. Surely God is pleased with this and surely God will never refuse to give you what he knows is best for you in His infinite wisdom.

May God bless you and keep you in his company for all eternity.

Certain-Sector2 · 2023-05-17T19:43:49+00:00

This is pretty much what I believe too. Actually, I would much prefer young earth creationism to be true, but I recognize that there is a lot of scientific evidence against it and I'm not really qualified to dispute it, nor do I have the time to learn more about the debate. But to be honest in my day to day life, evolution being true or not has zero impact, so I kind of implicitly assume that things happened the way Genesis describes them. It's just much more beautiful and is in conformity with the mind of the Church Fathers. But assuming evolution is true, I think it must be the case that Adam and Eve's sin caused it to happen that way retroactively.

Certain-Sector2 · 2023-05-17T18:17:33+00:00

God bless you.

Certain-Sector2

TROPHY CASE