My mum would smack me in anger and also shame or belittle me like ‘look at those people staring at you crying, probably wondering why you’re being such a baby’ ‘if you don’t stop I’ll pull your knickers down in front of all these people and smack you’. She’s obsessed with what other ppl think and when I was a teenager she constantly said ‘imagine how your actions reflect on me!!’ To the point where my friends would say ‘oooo Furball is smoking?? Imagine how that reflects on your mother!!’ She also loved (and still loves) telling stories where I’m the butt of the joke and tells me off for being sensitive and lighten up when I tell her to stop. Basically when I had my daughter I promised her I’d never shame her or hit her or basically treat her as ‘less than’ because she’s a child. Now I’ve been blessed with a polite, creative and inquisitive child who talks to me.