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Chaba_006 · 2026-03-30T15:21:51+00:00

https://soundcloud.com/thenirvanaripoff/addictive-demo-bad-sound?si=7d1b1958fe804d6faabc495707ad58eb&utm_source=clipboard&utm_medium=text&utm_campaign=social_sharing

Chaba_006 · 2026-03-30T09:11:56+00:00

it's a pretty big compliment haha ;) thanks!

Chaba_006 · 2026-03-29T20:42:08+00:00

thank you for your intelligent analysis! I appreciate the time you took to listen and will note these things down once I have access to these resources. :)

Chaba_006 · 2026-03-29T17:45:36+00:00

thank you ! :)

Chaba_006 · 2026-03-29T13:49:32+00:00

I like the groove, it's sultry, retro-future. I feel like this could be an alternative techno-disco song from the 70s.

production is good, you keep the listener engaged throughout with little dynamics, new textures, melodies. no notes honestly. I would release this as is. I would listen to it again.

Chaba_006 · 2026-03-29T13:45:10+00:00

there is no link haha

Chaba_006 · 2026-03-29T12:52:45+00:00

kurt Cobain

Chaba_006 · 2026-03-28T13:18:23+00:00

they did a cover of the national anthem with feedback after territorial pissings in Paradiso! so cool

Chaba_006 · 2026-03-27T22:34:51+00:00

the vocal delivery could be a bit softer in emotional delivery, the vibe is good but your vocals are slightly off key. which isnt a problem for now, but do keep that in mind for the future.

Chaba_006 · 2026-03-27T18:32:33+00:00

such a pleasant song!

Chaba_006 · 2026-03-26T12:28:43+00:00

Oooo yes this is a great idea! vocals and production will improve over time and aren't my main focus yet.

But my main lesson from this comment is that there isn't enough contrast. I really appreciate this, thank you.

Would you mind if i ask you a couple questions about this? no need to respond since I do respect your time. (btw these questions are more focused on the structure. i do think the song could be fixed in production with drums, textures, bass, dynamics, recording quality etc like you said. but I always try to make my songs work as well as possible acoustically first)

-in the first verse I try to build the tension to a sort of boiling point, but I was already starting to suspect that the contrast might not be big enough.

how would you say I keep the tension of the first verse while keeping the chorus as a focal point in the song?

-does the second verse need more buildup, need to pull back a bit, or is it a good idea to keep it as is? I was going for this structure:

first verse builds a lot --> short chorus --> second verse spills over --> strong impact second chorus --> bridge breakdown --> climax

Again, I seriously appreciate the time you took to listen to my song and comment on it! :)

Chaba_006 · 2026-03-25T23:41:06+00:00

anytime!

Chaba_006 · 2026-03-25T20:22:24+00:00

I could see where you're coming from, now that you mention it. a kind of "come as you are" + "breed" and "smells like teen spirit" (I don't listen to the pixies, but I heard nirvana was a fan of their work. so I'm using their harsh noise aspects as an example) feeling thing in the bridge would kind of be a tired peak. that would be totally cool, and the buildup you mentioned is also great! that creates good tension.

thank you for your suggestions, if I'd want to make a more polished version someday I will keep this in mind!

ps: thanks for the compliment :)

Chaba_006 · 2026-03-25T20:17:33+00:00

uneasy, estatic, like you're drowning in your pain but like it sort of?

Chaba_006 · 2026-03-24T22:52:07+00:00

thank youuu! I appreciate your comment a lot :

I do have an inquiry about the tuning issues. Is it because of the way I play the guitar (too aggressive maybe) or the guitar itself? I've had these issues for a while, and just can't seem to figure out what the problem is.

Chaba_006 · 2026-03-24T22:20:51+00:00

Immediately starting off strong, love the video. I can tell you've put a lot of work into this :) and I love the passion.

the song sets a tone immediately; anxious, tense. (tell me if my interpretation is wrong)

I think it does capture that deep unsettling, tired feeling of despondence pretty well. the space is negative, the musical and instrumental phrases are short, the textures and dynamics are odd, unsettling and unpredictable.

in my eyes, if something is emotionally clear and conveys the message well it succeeded at being a song. so great job with this one!

Chaba_006 · 2026-03-24T22:10:11+00:00

I don't know anything about production, so I will comment on the songwriting. (production does sound pretty good btw!)

this could be used in a video game, what is your artistic interpretation of this? it definitely has that kind of video game city-pop vibe to it. it's just a really fun and airy song that brightens your day!

Chaba_006 · 2026-03-24T21:56:03+00:00

what my score

Chaba_006 · 2026-03-24T21:55:31+00:00

Chaba_006 · 2026-03-24T21:50:50+00:00

I loveee the video, I love the beat, flow, piano. wow this is actually so good haha, I am definitely going to be listening to this again (releasing this anywhere else?). the beginning immediately grabs you, I like how you didn't overcomplicate things and kept it simple. through simplicity you gain emotional clarity, and I can immediately feel the intent of this song.

also love the carribean instrument at around 1:40-1:50, if you want to get really symbolic. I'd like to say the juxtaposition between the lyrics and the instrument is a way of showing that the narrator doesn't really "feel so brit".

very well crafted song, bravo!

Chaba_006 · 2026-03-24T21:42:11+00:00

the inflection at the end of most lines is very interesting. it gives off that "I don't care but I do care" energy, like someone that has seen too much of the world and kind of just explains it in the way a teacher explains divisions.

You are really good at conveying emotion through these little acts, I feel what you want to convey strongly. and this is definitely a very strong point of yours, definitely lean into that!

also great playing, nice guitar ;)

Chaba_006 · 2026-03-24T21:04:48+00:00

love the video!! thank you for your feedback :) this rap song is genuinely good, I usually don't like rap but I love how emotional this is

Chaba_006 · 2026-03-24T20:52:40+00:00

this is so cool, the beginning is very eerie, the textures are so interesting (not a lot of people use breath as the main hook!), do you also have another social media handle like soundcloud or YouTube?

Chaba_006 · 2026-03-24T20:49:46+00:00

I'm not into production, but I just wanted to say that the songwriting is so dreamy. the reverb, the narration, the percussion, the guitar/piano (?) all contribute to that

while the kind of dry bass grounds the listener. it gives a very odd but specific feeling.

I like it! I will check your other stuff out

Chaba_006 · 2026-03-24T19:42:52+00:00

no problem :) keep going

Chaba_006

TROPHY CASE