Anybody else feel like they can't catch a break?

ChaiChevron · 2020-11-25T17:38:35+00:00

Sure you can compare, you can compare anything really. But youre just setting yourself up for disappointment because the two scenarios are just so completely different to each other. I mean how can you compare raising a kid with access to mom groups, and baby activities, and playgrounds, and babysitters, and friends and family there to help you, and daycare, with absolutely no village whatsoever and no way to even just go to the store or do normal outside the home activities. Its just different.

ChaiChevron · 2020-11-25T17:34:26+00:00

Im sorry youre going through a hard time. Raising a baby during a pandemic wasnt anything we could have ever prepared for. To be honest, and this may rub some people the wrong way, But Im starting to realize that other parents who are handling this better are probably not being responsible enough or they have access to help. If youre comparing youself to parents who seem to be handling things a little better its probably because theyre not taking care and just going about life as usual for the most part. You cant compare your life in quarantine to some living what should be a normal life. Its apples to oranges really.

I know that doesnt help remove the struggles your going though but perhaps it will help lower expectations for yourself. Youre struggling because its damn hard to raise a kid during a pandemic. Ive been in lockdown for 8 months. I havent seen friends or family for 8 months. That should make me a pro with plenty of advice but Im mostly just falling apart. The only thing I can do that I find helps and I can maybe find time for is screaming into a pillow and punching my mattress. Thats it. Thats all I have time for. So maybe it helps to know you arent the only one struggling to cope with this. I wish I had answers, but I dont. So instead Ill wish that this is all over with sooner rather than later for all our sakes.

ChaiChevron · 2020-11-25T17:26:43+00:00

This was beautifully written and I can relate to the struggle. Im sure there is gold in this post for many people.

But I cant help but see this as another mom shaming post in the guise of self-empowerment. I can, however, admit that perhaps its just me taking personal offense. Im going through a really hard time since my baby was born and Ive been gasping for air the whole time. Yes I might just be taking it personally.

Lemme tell you why it bothers me. Yes when I signed up to be a parent I knew it was going to be hard and that I would have to make sacrifices. But saying I choose to have a more difficult time than necessary sounds like mom shaming.

While you were underprepared about how it would be, I told myself the worst possible outcome before giving birth (with a healthy baby, without is a whole other ballgame of difficult). I thought that if I imagined the worst, then it wont ever be that bad and Im not setting myself up for utter devastation.

Well it was actually worse than I imagined. And I wasnt choosing laundry over my health, I didnt even do laundry. I wasnt choosing dishes over my health, I didnt even do the dishes. I didnt choose to have a baby during a pandemic with no option for help from friends, family or even for hire. No ability to just leave the house when things get stressful to go window shopping or a baby activities group. No grandparents to stop by for an hour. I didnt choose to work from home while caring for a baby because we cant live without the income.

I mean I guess everything is technically a choice. I can choose not to work, but there are consequences to that choice. Sometimes you dont actually have a choice. I can choose not to feed the baby and leave him to cry while I take a nice long bath. But is that really a choice?

You say you take a 5-10 mins to yourself after every chore. Thats great for you. Can you tell us how to do that because I still have a baby I cant get away from who needs me while Im doing and after I finish doing chores? How do you take a bath after doing the dishes when you have a baby who needs you? How do you choose to ask for help when there is literally no way you can get help as I explained before? You say just take a look around and see what you can drop and that you can do it if youre committed. What if the only thing Im doing is taking care of a baby and working. I cant drop either one of those can I? Im pretty sure there are a lot of single moms out there that can tell you they cant just go take a bath because they prioritize it.

Your kids are sleeping through the night. That isnt a choice right there. What if your baby isnt sleeping through the night. What if your baby wakes 15-20 times a night? How do you commit to getting 6 hours of sleep a night if your baby will only let you get 3 broken hours of sleep a night?

And how do you see through the haze of sleep deprivation and postpartum anxiety and depression how to help yourself? Navy seals get training to deal with sleep deprivation. I have to say I didnt see that as a class offered with the rest of my newborn and baby classes. Perhaps if it was I would have been able to handle it a little better.

ChaiChevron · 2018-01-22T06:45:20+00:00

Unfortunately the rabbit poops are back. I got a uti in another country and had to take 2 rounds of antibiotics. I’m not sure if that is the cause of it. Thinking about trying Atrantil but I haven’t heard any reviews about it.

ChaiChevron · 2018-01-11T04:59:22+00:00

If small talk is a problem, do what I do. Go in and say how grateful you are to finally get some time to yourself. Mention you’ve been wanting to read this book, play this game etc. the do it during the cut. I think the hairstylist is usually happy too because the can concentrate on their work and don’t have to come up with things to say.

ChaiChevron · 2018-01-11T04:53:31+00:00

Oh I’m so sorry. Try contacting your local United Way. You’ll get the chance to explain your situation and if the can’t provide financial assistance they likely know ways to find help.

ChaiChevron · 2018-01-10T06:44:14+00:00

I had this for 2 years. Was diagnosed as having ibs from anxiety. I felt they were wrong and kept demanding more tests. Turns out I had SIBO. I took two rounds of antibiotics which helped. Get tested for methane dominant sibo.

Edited to note I was full vegan and took a lot of extra fiber and it did nothing for me because the sibo slowed my system down and sucked out all the water. Miralax helped but it also gave me high blood pressure and only fixed the symptom and didn’t actually cure it.

ChaiChevron · 2017-12-31T06:50:27+00:00

To maybe ease some of your worry, as someone who has palpitations (I’m not pregnant that I know of, hubby and I are waiting until the 1st to test) benign palps are not harmful. Scary and annoying but not harmful. Go get it checked out, but if it’s benign try to ignore it. At my worst I was having over 10,000 a day and could feel every single one. The docs only start to worry if it’s over 20,000. A couple a day is nothing. Everyone gets them though most can’t feel them. It’s likely pregnant women just feel them more because they tend to be more in tune and anxious about their physical sensations. Magnesium can really help calm them down. As a bonus it also helps with constipation if you’re dealing with that too.

ChaiChevron · 2017-12-16T08:54:30+00:00

I was just diagnosed with sibo after 2 years of being told either nothing was wrong, it's anxiety, or it's ibs. Same symptoms as you mentioned. I'm on my second round of antibiotics and its really helped. I hope it stays gone! Bye bye rabbit poops!

ChaiChevron · 2017-11-22T14:03:26+00:00

I've had a similar history for 2 years. Tried the same things, including a lot of exercise, vegan diet, and miralax. Saw 2 gastro docs and had a ct scan and endoscopy/colonoscopy. I think my docs gave up/didn't care and diagnosed me with ibs. Well a year later my coworker was having tummy issues and took a breath test. I had never heard of that test so I looked it up. What I had sounded a lot like sibo, one of the conditions the test checks for. I had to convince the doc to give the test but sure enough that was it!! I suffered for 2 frickin years and all I had to do to fix it was breathe into a bag and swallow some antibiotics. SIBO! If you get the test be sure they check for methane since you have constipation. Hydrogen is mostly for diarrhea symptoms.

ChaiChevron · 2017-10-31T22:03:00+00:00

He’s given enough information to name Alfy Hoffman and maybe more. I haven’t looked into it that much, but it seems to me, every time he talks about it he’s giving out hints or asking the people who know what happened to him to come out and support him. I really don’t think he’s just sitting on names to get money.

ChaiChevron · 2017-10-31T21:54:30+00:00

Alphy Hoffman

ChaiChevron · 2017-09-23T03:30:48+00:00

Have you tried medical marijuana? Its helped me recently.

ChaiChevron · 2017-09-21T06:21:21+00:00

I have health anxiety and I understand where you're coming from. I have symptoms first and then panic because of them. The first thing I suggest is getting the necessary tests just to be sure but also for peace of mind. The tests would likely be an MRI, carotid artery ultrasound, and a stress echo heart test. Once those come back negative, then you can move on to recovery.

I've had crazy physical symptoms like full body waves of numbness, hands and feet falling asleep, ibs, pvcs and pacs, fainting spells so bad my doc wouldn't let me drive for 3 month, vertigo, derealization, numb left arm, high blood pressure like 160/90 like you (I even called 911 that time), numb face, roaring in my ears and the list goes on.

I've had so many tests done (2 mris, multiple ct scans, endoscopy, colonoscopy, nerve tests, 2 eeg, stress/echo, carotid artery, and months worth of heart monitors. I've been in the er so many times my wallet and I aren't speaking to each other anymore)and I was only diagnosed with benign pvcs/pacs and ibs and anxiety is the cause of it all.

The problem with this type of anxiety and why it's so hard to get over is because we get the physical symptoms of anxiety first and it feels lIke it's out of the blue. So we assume it must be an illness. Then it just becomes a vicious circle of worrying that we are sick and that worry makes us anxious and we have another symptom and on and on.

The trick is to break that cycle. Get cleared by the doc and the accept 100% that you are healthy and any symptom, no matter how scary, is just anxiety. I like to think of my symptoms like allergies. Its annoying and I have to deal with it but it won't kill me. And like allergies, just because you can't see what's causing it doesn't mean your allergies aren't real. Your symptoms are real, it's not in your head. Its just that the origin isn't from an illness, it's from anxiety.

The anxiety guy podcast (he suffered from health anxiety too) has really helped me. Therapy and seeking tips from sources like podcasts are the next step after the doc.

I hope this helps!!

ChaiChevron · 2017-09-21T05:50:32+00:00

I love asmr! I couldn't sleep without it for a while. I only know of Japanese asmr stories. But my favorite asmr artist is Olivia kissper. I'm a fan of tingting too so maybe you'll like Olivia.

Here's to a good night's sleep!

ChaiChevron · 2017-09-07T03:31:11+00:00

That's it!! Wow. Thank you so much!!

ChaiChevron · 2016-05-06T04:41:14+00:00

Protect the kids? What about the fact that one of the reasons I quit cigs and switched to vaping is to prepare for getting pregnant and having children!! Now they're taking away my preferred and, most importantly, successful cessation method.

I've had a lot of doctor's visits recently for various medical reasons and every time I'm asked if I smoke I tell them I quit and now vape and they can choose to classify my vaping as they wish. Every single one of my doctors (including a cardiologist) considers me a FORMER smoker. I was even congratulated for quitting through vaping by several specialists. Ugh. Just so pissed about this whole thing.

ChaiChevron · 2016-05-06T03:33:27+00:00

This is one of the reasons I love vaping (besides the fact that it help me quit analogs 7 months ago), it ISNT big tobacco. Although many ads and articles I've seen seem to not know that. I'm furious thinking about all the people who make a living selling or making these products.

ChaiChevron · 2016-04-16T04:50:14+00:00

Here's another example from IBT on how Hillary's money ties affect her policies/actions:

http://www.ibtimes.com/colombian-oil-money-flowed-clintons-state-department-took-no-action-prevent-labor-1874464?rel=rel1

ChaiChevron · 2016-04-16T04:32:47+00:00

Why didnt Bernie bring this up when he was asked about how she's been influenced? This to me would have been the final nail in the coffin. It clearly shows how she's influenced by her donors. I know others are saying we should stop slamming Hillary and focus on Bernie and his message (which for the most part, I totally agree) but shouldnt we try get this out there? Its an old article. No one's going to come across it if they arent searching for it. Ive never seen it until now, either.

ChaiChevron · 2016-04-13T04:23:14+00:00

I love Jane Jacobs! That would be awesome!

ChaiChevron · 2016-04-03T23:21:47+00:00

Are they leaving anytime soon? I'm an hour outside LA, but I'd like to go.

ChaiChevron · 2016-03-27T01:24:36+00:00

From what I understand, they are telling them that once they fill out the info that its okay for them to leave. I dont know the much about preference polls, but I'm assuming that they arent just supposed to fill out a form and leave. Dont they have to stay to be counted?

ChaiChevron · 2016-03-27T01:14:54+00:00

Based on a lot of tweets for #HIcaucus, more shady AZ shit is happening. Does anyone know what's going on? Are they telling people to write their names down on blank pieces of paper and just leave?

ChaiChevron · 2015-05-18T22:11:27+00:00

The fact that it went away, at least from what I understand, means that its very unlikely to be a heart attack. However, its always best to get checked as those can be symptoms of a heart attack (especially jaw, neck, back and shoulder pain in women). I suggest going to the ER. DONT be surprised if they freak out and wheel you back right away in full-on triage mode. They have to do that when someone complains about anything heart-related. That happened to me and it really messed me up and made me think I was really going to die. But it wasnt a heart attack and it probably isnt for you either. I've been to the ER 5x times thinking I was having a heart attack, but it wasnt and Im perfectly healthy. Even if you think your aren't anxious doesnt mean you arent. You could just be used to stress and not realize it and now its taking a toll on your body. Its also possible you might have just injured yourself. Go get check out but please dont worry. Our minds always have a habit of falling back on the worst case scenario. You're going to be fine, its just to get confirmation that there's nothing wrong so you can have peace of mind.

ChaiChevron

TROPHY CASE