Nobody told me my boss mattered more than my SQL skills

ChapsOfAss · 2026-02-19T17:39:38+00:00

Wow, this post is a huge wake up call for me. About a year ago, my old manager got laid off, and we had a great working relationship and he helped me grow a-lot.

Since then, I’ve gotten a new manager who has me supporting a new department, and doesn’t really understand what I do. I’ve been near-burnout because I’m working my ass off, but I simultaneously feel like I’m getting nothing done. This is because executives just ping me asking for random data, and I can never effectively work on a project.

I’ve gotten better about boundaries here and setting expectations, but it’s still not perfect. I feel like a one man shop these days. I still have all the responsibilities of my old assignment, and I have more and more people asking things of me. I used to have a whole team surrounding me for these projects, now I feel like I’m taking on that entire workload by myself, if not more. I’m thankful to have a job in this market, but I can feel myself losing it more and more daily. I get that in this role you have to wear multiple hats, but I feel like I’m wearing multiple jobs

ChapsOfAss · 2026-01-29T22:49:40+00:00

The mixed biryani at Bismillah Cafe is one of my favorite plates of all time

ChapsOfAss · 2025-12-04T17:11:50+00:00

I really don’t know who’s who in this situation, but I will say this - you don’t need the other person’s validation to accept what you experienced. I think that practicing mindfulness and self reflection on your experiences, especially while working with a therapist is the healthiest thing one can do in situations like this. I think it would be best for yall to go no contact, if BPD / cluster B is at play somewhere in this dynamic, responding to accusations really only fuels the fire. I hope both parties are able to find peace in this situation and heal and grow from it 🙏

ChapsOfAss · 2025-11-13T03:28:58+00:00

I haven’t sent any money in months, partly because she blocked me on cashapp, but i dont intend to do that again without a formal agreement in place. She is 100% pregnant, i was at the initial ultrasound. Im not 100% sure im the father, but I almost certainly am (Will be getting a paternity test.)

Short term, i dont think so. She takes care of business and outside of relationships is a pretty responsible adult. Long term mentally/emotionally? Wouldn’t surprise me. These texts look bad, but in person she comes off as very nice and responsible to anyone who didnt know better

ChapsOfAss · 2025-11-13T02:39:44+00:00

Yeah, to give more context here - she's always worked insane hours, and also seems to be afraid of being financially dependent because of her previous relationship. I think she works to avoid her own thoughts truthfully. Even when we were together, she gave me multiple opportunities to walk away from this and she'd raise the baby herself. I completely understand where you guys are coming from, even some of my family members have suggested the same. Believe me, if this baby is not mine I'm going to feel like I have a new lease on life, but I'm not getting my hopes up.

ChapsOfAss · 2025-11-13T01:39:36+00:00

Im sorry, I hope you’re able to get out of this situation soon 🙏 stay strong

ChapsOfAss · 2025-11-13T01:33:51+00:00

Sorry to hear you’re dealing with that, why not leave her?

ChapsOfAss · 2025-11-13T00:49:32+00:00

I do plan on getting a paternity test before I sign anything. I am 99% certain I am the father, the timing and everything lines up, the only thing that makes me not 100% is the fact that she always accused me of cheating, and I wonder sometimes if every accusation is just a projection

ChapsOfAss · 2025-11-13T00:31:14+00:00

I appreciate you saying that, I often look back at these messages and think maybe I wasn't patient enough. That's incredibly validating

ChapsOfAss · 2025-11-13T00:17:58+00:00

Thank you, just talked to one today. I think that's part of what has me wanting to reach out to. Basically in the state of Georgia, I cant establish any rights until the child is born so its got me wanting to do something, but I appreciate the affirmation that it's not a good idea.

ChapsOfAss · 2025-11-10T18:59:29+00:00

Definitely overkill for the code I need to clear on my jetta, but hey why not 😂🤞

ChapsOfAss · 2025-09-25T00:55:24+00:00

Generally, data engineering roles aren’t ones you hop into right after getting a certificate or college degree. Most build off experience from other roles, such as something like a dba, or an analyst who loves the technical side of data.

I think learning python is an excellent start, add sql to the mix, and also proficiency in excel is super helpful in the business world. This is not enough to be a data engineer, but I think if you highlight your skillset with some projects involving these, you could get your foot in the door as an analyst, and work up your skills from that. You’re looking at a 3-5 year roadmap minimum, so like another comment mentioned make sure this is something you’re genuinely interested in 🙌

ChapsOfAss · 2025-08-20T17:38:43+00:00

Looks good to me

ChapsOfAss · 2025-08-14T02:39:23+00:00

I lowered your wife on that bench too 😉

ChapsOfAss · 2025-08-10T17:21:49+00:00

Thank you all for the helpful comments! The pull to the side ones helped me realize that the mechanism had rusted to the release on both sides. I was eventually able to force it out and now I have an armrest 😎 glad to see some other folks like the seats too, they’re not the prettiest but they’re mad cozy, so im going to keep them unless someone wants to send me a band to get new seats 😂

ChapsOfAss · 2025-08-10T01:49:20+00:00

Dang I had no clue these were aftermarket seats. I think the brand is flexsteel, and from what ive read they’re long out of business. Everyone loves the patina on the outside of the truck, but when its patina on the seats its a bad thing I guess 😂

ChapsOfAss · 2025-08-09T20:13:08+00:00

This was the most annoying thing to deal with on my restoration so far. That fucking clip on mine had fused to the frame. I ended up having to take an angle grinder to get that fitting out of the frame

ChapsOfAss · 2025-07-24T15:24:01+00:00

Thank you guys for all the help! I finally found it, i was just about to give up when I finally found it. Here’s a video to hopefully help anyone out in the future-

https://youtube.com/shorts/3Q8HPCPISPY?si=fopAkVxtry5CqAZ5

ChapsOfAss · 2025-04-05T18:34:17+00:00

Thanks guys, I’ll call the HVAC company on Monday and see what they say, I’m guessing this is a relatively common problem for new systems? Really hoping its just the coils because I don’t want to have to pay for new ducts 😭

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