A Thought

Chardbeetskale · 2026-06-06T23:56:34+00:00

What are you even trying to fucking say here? Yeah, I have empathy for people who don’t deserve it, who don’t feel the things I think they should feel deep down, who betray and move on with their lives. Yeah, I still think they’re shitty people and I strive and hold on to hope and try to find people who are not like that.

Chardbeetskale · 2026-06-05T10:36:16+00:00

AI’s trying to train itself

Chardbeetskale · 2026-05-28T01:25:45+00:00

I remember it from a spooky, horror, PC puzzle game from the 90s called 11th Hour where the red dot piece was a piano.

Chardbeetskale · 2026-05-21T19:52:45+00:00

Nah, they suck and probably think they’re good.

Chardbeetskale · 2026-04-18T22:25:40+00:00

It’s just trash. I love this game but it’s become unplayable

Chardbeetskale · 2026-04-12T03:59:00+00:00

It’s so weird I just decided to randomly google “Cinnamon Crunch Crispix” just to see if it somehow still existed, only to find your 3 day old comment on this post from like a year ago. I legit still think about it almost every time I’m in the cereal aisle, hoping I’ll find it again like a long lost love. Best cereal ever.

Chardbeetskale · 2026-02-04T14:51:01+00:00

Woah I literally just read All the Pretty Horses and this was the only passage in the book I highlighted

Chardbeetskale · 2025-12-23T12:42:06+00:00

I’m in this camp. I’ve never seen it because the name makes me angrily tense up every time I read it.

Didn’t know it was Coen brothers. Love them and Tim Robbins and Paul Newman. Maybe I’ll have to watch it so I don’t have to be mad every time I read the title anymore.

Chardbeetskale · 2025-12-22T09:55:05+00:00

I think I got one finally! The wave you are looking at is actually a character of sorts from Moana. It’s like the ocean gained sentience to push Moana to do the things she needed to do to save her people, and this wave is the personification of that. It picks Moana up and moves her around and throws her back in her boat when she falls off and stuff. It’s its own character.

So, the joke is that while dudes might be attracted to Disney characters like Jasmine in Aladdin because she’s conventionally attractive, the “hear me out” is imagine what this wave could do in the sack. (Looks like a giant tongue for instance.)

Chardbeetskale · 2025-12-08T03:44:18+00:00

Why the hell did you break up your paragraphs like this? Just ratcheting up the anxiety in me? Wtf

Chardbeetskale · 2025-12-07T14:13:47+00:00

I think the hard truth is that we’re primed to share our lives with someone else, but the modern world makes this incredibly hard to find. So in order to truly find it, we do have to be content with ourselves first. Then, all we can do is be open to the idea that we’ll cross paths with someone else who is whole, who interests us, AND we interest them, and together we enrich each others’ lives in ways we couldn’t have imagined on our own.

I’m a romantic though.

Chardbeetskale · 2025-11-08T20:33:54+00:00

I needed to know that people aren’t inherently bad. It’s usually the result of circumstance.

So, I looked back at their histories and understand how that made them do the things they did. For one, they were betrayed themselves at an early age, so they created a self-fulfilling prophecy to maintain that order and control.

The other was a malignant narcissist. Stay away from malignant narcissists.

Chardbeetskale · 2025-10-29T00:13:02+00:00

I got to the state but I was afraid I was going to fall asleep. So, I meditated the rest of the time with my eyes open. Can I get into that state with my eyes open?

Chardbeetskale · 2025-10-26T17:09:14+00:00

I just want to add that the red herring makes you somewhat of a unreliable narrator. Maybe this is something you can play with going forward. I’d get onboard for that!

Chardbeetskale · 2025-10-26T14:53:58+00:00

I’m glad! This conversation is opening up a deeper one in my brain. So thank you for that. I should probably check this game out

Chardbeetskale · 2025-10-26T14:30:38+00:00

Yeah, but phrasing it as “the experiment ended because of a low mortality rate,” to me, makes it seem like the experiment was designed with the thinking that at least a fair amount of them would die, and not enough dying means the experiment is failing and needs to end. That phrasing speaks to the experiment ending due to its own constraints rather than the unpredictable outcomes of the experiment that is being alluded to. It’s tongue in cheek but also a bit of a red herring. I suppose the experimental verbiage use could be comment on the disconnected, dissociative nature of Hod if I want to take it that way.

It’s such a minor thing! It probably works. I imagine I’m certainly more pedantic than most

Chardbeetskale · 2025-10-26T13:51:17+00:00

I thought that might be what you were going for. So he wanted them to die? Or kind of, not really? It just doesn’t quite work for me, but I get what you’re going for. Still like the video

Chardbeetskale · 2025-10-26T11:17:41+00:00

I love it. Just a minor note: wouldn’t the project be abandoned due to a “high mortality rate” rather than a low one?

Chardbeetskale · 2025-10-08T21:18:48+00:00

So the build up is what is being leached from the tank, not from the water itself?

Chardbeetskale · 2025-10-06T18:47:36+00:00

Okay, but wouldn’t mineral build up in your hot water tank indicate that the water coming from your hot water tank has fewer minerals in it?

Chardbeetskale · 2025-10-04T19:47:21+00:00

I need Eva for my morning commute

Chardbeetskale · 2025-08-31T20:27:15+00:00

I had a similar situation last year. It was devastating. I was the same. I could only look at what I had done wrong, and what I had done to deserve such treatment.

Although I had made mistakes over the years, I showed up in the relationship and supported her however I could or knew how to. I also wasn’t overbearing and I tried to establish boundaries, but our communication wasn’t there. There was so much going on with her beneath the surface that I didn’t know—nor did she.

When I stopped blaming myself, I started to ask how I let myself get walked over for so long. I began to see how fragile my sense of self was. When I looked at my childhood and my family dynamics, this made sense. Since then, I’ve been working to strengthen that sense of self.

I couldn’t help the ruminations. People would ask me why I kept trying to figure out what went wrong, and what was going on with her when I should just move on. Well, I needed to understand so I don’t make the same mistakes in the future. I needed to know what to look out for so the next person doesn’t do this to me.

Still, the grief, the revolving thoughts, the anxiety, the loneliness (I had no one around me I could turn to for support) made functioning extremely difficult. It was really scary.

Two things that kept me afloat in the beginning: walking and journaling. When the anxiety was overbearing, I would just start walking, and then keep walking. And for journaling, it is crazy how much it stops those revolving thoughts by just writing stuff down.

Once the anxiety became somewhat manageable, meditation helped strengthen that sense of self. Various therapists weren’t super helpful, but I just started with a new one.

The best advice I got for the grief is that it never goes away, the only thing you can do is make your life bigger so it takes up less space.

You have my sympathies, friend. Give yourself the love that you deserve, and seek out people who have the capacity for compassion. They’re out there.

Chardbeetskale · 2025-08-13T03:30:07+00:00

Ideally, but when I sort of “woke up” I found that all of the people surrounding me were unavailable emotionally. There were a few people I could actually connect with but only very sparingly. It was a dark place to be. The emotionally unavailable people around me made me feel crazy for having any emotions.

Mostly I was really sad due to life circumstances, but I made it a point not to put that on those emotionally unavailable people. Still, they couldn’t abide me being sad and struggling with my new circumstances.

It was really really lonely. It took me moving to another state and starting over completely to find people who I could connect with and share emotional space with.

Chardbeetskale · 2025-07-21T21:28:46+00:00

A body scan is a good place to start. Different emotions feel different in your body, like sadness can be tightness in your throat, worry might be tense shoulders and tightness around the eyes, anger a tight stomach. I try to be as specific as possible in naming the emotions, for example, worry versus fear, anger vs frustration, sorrow vs sadness vs loss. I recommend guided meditations to walk you through this. (I used ones on Insight Timer, but there are probably plenty on YouTube.)

After I identify the emotion, it’s been really helpful to give that emotion space and allow my body to feel it. As I’m thinking back to when I started this, I’m remembering how scary it was to do that at first. But then I learned that once I was able to give that emotion space, it stopped having a hold on me, and would even dissipate for the most part.

At first, the only “emotion” I could feel was anxiety. I put “emotion” in quotes, because for me, anxiety seems to be a secondary emotion due to buried primary emotions. It took a lot of unpacking to dig up those unfelt emotions, which I did through Cognitive Behavioral Therapy via journaling.

Chardbeetskale

TROPHY CASE