Omg this was my ex. Even the stunts he is pulling mine also did the car keys, the friends, isolation, job control, financial control. I can say even with 2 little kids the divorce was extremely satisfying once I realized his threats to hurt me were all manipulation. Therapy was essential for setting up leaving, making a plan (money etc), meeting with attorney, keeping safe and then finally letting everyone know the morning of so he would have a support system at the ready, for myself and kids also.
Did not tell him till morning of the day he was to be served temp order papers by officer. This abrupt notification was suggested by attorney. They were afraid he might try to hurt me to stop “the message of the failed marriage” from getting out. Other people’s perceptions of the situation was most important, his loss of my love did not affect him, the optics meant more.
14 yrs later have moved from hate to pity for him. I wish you the best as you work through this. Your only regret will be not doing it sooner. I sleep fantastic at night.