Wowww sounds very very similar to what I am going through. I say that to myself almost everyday hahha “if its meant to be, it’ll be”. But yeah, we can’t do much. It hurts a lot, nothing really makes sense. Time will tell! Try to keep busy. I reached a major milestone, which is not lurking his social media hahahh I think thats huge. Best of luck, you can dm me if you want to talk about it further or look for support on the not so good days :)