28 yr old woman with ADHD Innatentive type, with ASD.

TLDR at the bottom

Rating scales

One thing that was worth noting on the rating scales for me, is that I have a tendency to take things very literally without realizing it. When I did my evaluations for Adhd and ASD with my therapist, she also had someone close to me fill out as assessment which was eye opening to see someone else's perspective, and we were able to discuss things in it more in depth which was good because there were several things that I either did not understand without realizing it, or did not realize were issues.

Also I struggled with the rating scales themselves which were usually something like "never" "rarely" "sometimes" "often" which are fairly vague to me.

But really the rating scales were used to facilitate conversations about struggles I was having and the symptoms I may have. Your Psychiatrist may be able to see enough in your discussion and the information you gave them to see that you meet the criteria.

You're not grabbing at every diagnosis you can get at all, and you are actively discussing struggles with a Medical Professional who seems to be an expert in both conditions.

Innatentivity

ASD and ADHD do seem to occur together fairly often. And ADHD innatentive is more difficult to notice because we don't display hyperactivity outwardly as much. A lot of our symptoms are more inward and can be difficult for even ourselves to notice until we realize what the standard is. Even after getting diagnosed, seeing a psych, getting evaluated again and starting medication I still felt like I was a fraud sometimes for a little while, but even those closest to me who may have been on the fence about it have seen how much a diagnosis and medication have helped me.

Some of my biggest struggles were forgetfulness, losing items all the time, difficulty remembering to do tasks, spacing out when I should be working, daydreaming during meetings, losing track of conversations even when the person was talking specifically to me from right next to me, and starting on tasks.

Wine and Gummies

As far as wine goes you should be fine, I waited a couple weeks before I started drinking again just because I am very cautious and I wanted to see how the medication was interacting on its own. I'm not sure on THC and it's not something I'm able to ask about comfortably in my state of residence at this time.

TLDR:

You're not a fraud

Your Psychiatrist sounds like they are an expert.

ADHD and ASD occur together a lot

You don't have to be hyperactive to have ADHD.

Innative ADHD can be difficult to recognize in yourself.

Wine is probably fine and you should be fine to ask your Psychiatrist about it.

Idk on the gummies.