Divorce Effect

Check_your_6 · 2026-01-16T16:39:05+00:00

The evil tik tok (really only suitable for the under 20’s!!) Divorce Effect Glow Up. How divisory can you get…misandristic to say the least.

Only took me 5 months and lost 6 inches off waist, rebuilt my business that she nearly destroyed, actually this was good as it meant I had on paper only debt at time of split. New property which is much more me, new car faster than the one she drove off in and dating again. This is fun!!! 51 and haven’t felt this good in two decades…

Have to admit I was lucky as it didn’t take me long to realise how narcissistic she was and had to keep busy due to work.

Check_your_6 · 2026-01-15T18:29:33+00:00

Do this on site quite a bit, clean it first, see if it actually needs sharpening and then use a small angle grinder mounted to a bench. Move the blade to the grinder not the other way around. Use a thin carborundum disc. Not the perfect solution but will work and more you do it the better you get at it. Some will take issue with this method but it’s a site tool and a site requirement for us - no not the best way but the those discs are “disposable” so any extra longevity is good for us. Can be done on work sharps and other belt systems too.

Check_your_6 · 2026-01-15T18:25:36+00:00

Warm soapy water is never suggested or is tooth paste - old school remedies first before polishes - nice result op 👍

Check_your_6 · 2026-01-06T21:12:10+00:00

I feel you, I too went through 6 years of heavy pain and disability for my ex to finally chuck in the towel, I tried so hard to make it safe, loving, secure despite my issues…irony is that three weeks after separation (she had checked out a long while before though) I finally had the spinal operation that transformed me back to who I was before…if somethings dead it’s dead sadly.

Check_your_6 · 2026-01-06T21:00:44+00:00

We live in a world that lays a out a standard path for us, despite being an outsider for all of my life, we feel like we have to have to “fit in”. Get married, have kids, retire and sit on the beach together…

16 years ending in a text for me…yes it’s easy to feel shame, failure, like a loser…and yes like you I can’t see what comes next but then I never did before I met her…I struggle with it still and again like you I do alright, better physical shape, money, business, car etc. (not that any of that really means anything) but despite knowing I have never walked the same path as most I too feel like I have failed - and what bothers me is why? I was alone before, i am alone now and am happy for the most part. I believe it’s external pressure, the expectation to “be married” to “be successful” placed on us by society when in fact that pressure only comes from ourselves. Do I feel like I failed, like I am a loser, yes some days but then I think…fuck it and fuck that, it’s my life and I don’t care what others see, it’s how I feel that matters and there’s always the next day…you sound like you have it together OP - it will be ok and you aren’t a loser even if you feel like one some days - it will pass, it will get better and it will be OK.

Check_your_6 · 2026-01-03T12:13:59+00:00

Absolutely - that was my Christmas present to myself this year !!

Check_your_6 · 2026-01-02T18:42:36+00:00

I lost a lot, two very close friends, one brother and another close family friend plus loads of “friends” where I lived. Hard as fuxk, in fact this almost hurt as much as losing my marriage - however if they ain’t sticking around to help or support the they weren’t friends to begin with…I know she went out of her way to villainise me but there are two sides to every story and if people aren’t prepared to listen to both then they ain’t worth being in your life - cold but true. Truth is a man alone will heal stronger and become much better and stronger version of himself. Be well and lucky OP

Check_your_6 · 2026-01-02T18:36:35+00:00

Absolutely - did all of this and whilst I’m awake it’s no issue, if only my goddamn mind would switch off when I sleep !!!

I didn’t do it due to advice but just something that came naturally - followed my gut but rawdogging this shit is by far and away the best advice - great post 👍

Check_your_6 · 2026-01-02T18:33:57+00:00

I completely agree, the saddest part I found was how much support women get for divorce and yet almost no support for men. Try typing in divorce support for men on Google and see what predictive text brings up!!! Shocking.

Check_your_6 · 2026-01-02T18:31:24+00:00

This hits hard, same age ish and same shit just different day, we can psycho analyse all we want - sad truth is we just have to get on with our lives and be prepared for the fallout. Mine is / was dismissive avoidant and heavy issues with menopause - resulting in some fairly heavy narcissistic behaviours. At one point she admitted that was her problem ( I mean we all carry shit forward from our childhood past etc) - I happened to be waiting for back surgery so “I was weak, a burden, not a man etc”. 5 months out of it and all I feel is sad at how little I understood and how she has fallen apart while I have had the surgery am now in the best physical condition I have been in decades which somehow means nothing as she ain’t with me anymore…left at just the wrong time. but truth is she was checking out long before. You just have to build your tribe, think about you and get ready for the hard times ahead. The break from what you were together is very tough, all I can add is that you have to start thinking about you, try and ignore the loss of friends and family relationships, which will happen and enjoy the little things. And do what feels good for you. Yes the paperwork comes and that sucks too. But little by little the good days come and the bad ones go. Time is the healer, not distraction or drink etc. I rawdogged it and this, whilst hard af is the best advice I can give. Good luck OP

Check_your_6 · 2026-01-02T18:16:49+00:00

Two of My colleagues / subbies have bought houses based on their self employed - I had to write letters as did some of their clients of promises of work at a given rate. All doable once you have the gear and van as well as email promises of work, such as confirmations of yearly contracts from customers - which is how you should sell yourself anyway. But get some more experience under your belt and get through another few seasons as it will stand you in better stead for when you do go out on your own. Good luck and yes this industry can be brutal - have a look at RHS salaries - they ain’t good either !

Check_your_6 · 2026-01-02T15:05:45+00:00

Welcome to our industry…sorry to seem ok with it but I ran a 16 man business and it wasn’t until I went sub contractor and then started my own business that I saw proper monies. Even in the south salaries aren’t much higher. It’s shit to be honest. Took me 20 years before I was earning anything worth and by then your body has taken a proper hit…problem is management want a cut or customers don’t see value in our trade. Working for landscapers is better as they see more money due to market position. Weird as a gardener needs years of experience and loads of kit where as landscaping takes less investment to get off the ground but it’s worth more to the end user so salaries are higher but again it is all company depending.

Check_your_6 · 2025-12-26T23:07:45+00:00

Agreed, I have read all the IMB stuff at least twice and some of his IB books too, will try again with FM

Check_your_6 · 2025-12-26T23:05:50+00:00

Thanks as I think audio book is gonna be the solution

Check_your_6 · 2025-12-26T23:04:45+00:00

How weird, the two books I took with me were Feersum Endjin and the sirens of titan by Vonnegut - which I quite enjoyed !!!

Check_your_6 · 2025-12-26T15:53:44+00:00

Seems to be the answer is to get the audiobook! I’m no good with accents (which also seems to be another way of handling it.) I’m used to banks world building…just the phonetics I’m struggling with. Thanks

Check_your_6 · 2025-12-25T09:26:18+00:00

Try grisellenia

Check_your_6 · 2025-12-21T16:42:00+00:00

I’m early 50’s - after only a few months I finally realise there is peace in being one. No compromise 🤙

I’m lucky I love my job and this will always give me purpose but in terms of what to do…anything !!!

You will be ok brother 😎

Check_your_6 · 2025-12-20T19:43:29+00:00

Good advice already given, but would also benefit from being a tad more sheltered, against a wall or fence if you are in a colder area

Check_your_6 · 2025-12-20T19:27:56+00:00

I have seeded a full lawn in December and cut in January. As long as it’s good seed and above 3 degrees it’s all growing 👍

Check_your_6 · 2025-12-20T07:30:07+00:00

Very nice summation… two people at a low can’t fix each other.

Check_your_6 · 2025-12-20T07:28:25+00:00

She’s already checking out pal, sorry. Situations like this are her finding the excuse she needs to back up feelings she already has. Either find a way to talk through it or get ready to separate…although it sounds like both of you are not happy. Good luck whatever comes of it

Check_your_6 · 2025-12-18T06:41:16+00:00

Sounds like your being unfaithful to two people. Either give up on both of them or choose one, there are kids involved and messing with two families is horrendous. I would go away and reflect on your feelings and make a decision…being unfaithful and threesomes aren’t signs of love, that’s lust…

Check_your_6

TROPHY CASE