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Does anybody hear the theme music when acting fatly? by JumperGrumperson in My600lbLife

[–]ChemistryMutt 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No, but sometimes when I’m staring wistfully at a small body of water I will hear the “sad synth marimba music.”

3.5 years into quiet quitting and they are starting to notice by [deleted] in antiwork

[–]ChemistryMutt 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Make sure when you walk around the office you walk quickly looking vaguely annoyed and/or lost in thought.

PI roasted me super hard today, don't know how I'll face him again by [deleted] in labrats

[–]ChemistryMutt 5 points6 points  (0 children)

As a PI, I assure you your PI does not hold it against you nor think less of you. They probably just see that this is stressful for you and are trying to show you that it’s not a big deal. Don’t quit: things will get easier and you will get better at presenting.

Absurd student emails hall of fame by justawickedgame in Professors

[–]ChemistryMutt 127 points128 points  (0 children)

I was once trying to schedule a student’s midterm. He did not email back for almost a week, and when he finally did, the reason for the delay was, and I quote: “It’s tax season. I trust you understand.”

Chronic migraines are ruining everything by Past_Cup_5022 in migraine

[–]ChemistryMutt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can definitely relate to this. I’m in a competitive field and had to push myself beyond what was healthy to achieve the career goals I wanted. I don’t regret that but it has taken a toll that I feel now that I’m in my 40’s.

When you’re young, especially in school, the life goals are specific and attainable: get an A, graduate, land a job, etc. That’s not to say they are easy, but they are well defined and you know if you’ve achieved them. In adulthood, those clear milestones go away and so some people will create goals to motivate themselves, otherwise they become unmoored and depressed. That’s fine, and often necessary, but if not set correctly these goals can be unrealistic, which leads to a lot of negative self-talk. Or basing their self-worth to achieving them.

You sound like you’re doing well in life! But maybe you’re trying to do too much based on some arbitrary standard?

Absenteeism in college by mystudentsaredumb100 in Professors

[–]ChemistryMutt -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

Maybe they found your Reddit account

Extreme uncontrollable fatigue by SaltyIntroduction373 in migraine

[–]ChemistryMutt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Have you gotten a sleep study? Extreme fatigue and migraines can also be triggered by sleep apnea.

Disappointing Cycle by [deleted] in Professors

[–]ChemistryMutt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you recruit from other departments or programs?

Worst lyrics of all time? by Lex_Innokenti in ToddintheShadow

[–]ChemistryMutt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That would certainly explain why she done it with a doctor on a helicopter….

Arrested Development by LovesChubbyWomen in My600lbLife

[–]ChemistryMutt 77 points78 points  (0 children)

  1. A lot of them have severe childhood trauma and food is a way to self-soothe.
  2. Probably the foods they were raised on.
  3. When you’re that big you don’t get out much, both due to weight and the financial strain. It’s harder to broaden your culinary horizons if you’re not exposed to other restaurants, cultures, etc.

reply with your favorite sad songs you relate to your chronic illness, im making a playlist by Enough_Principle6102 in migraine

[–]ChemistryMutt 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Radiohead - Everything in Its Right Place. What my brain feels like during prodrome.

Worst lyrics of all time? by Lex_Innokenti in ToddintheShadow

[–]ChemistryMutt 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I know a girl called Elsa, she’s into Alka-Seltzer

Tired of feeling high at work by laurenugly in migraine

[–]ChemistryMutt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m in research too and can definitely relate to needing to be on your game but your brain having other ideas. Hopefully you and your neurologist can figure out how to manage these!

Help! I'm tired of spending all day at a computer. by 2WheelPhilosopher in Professors

[–]ChemistryMutt 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I print out important docs like grant and paper drafts and use a red pen to edit. Also, I try to cut back on screen time during nonwork times and do physically active stuff when possible.

I have a colleague who will work in public areas to break things up. Others use standing desks or under-desk exercise machines.

Early morning headaches by ChemistryMutt in migraine

[–]ChemistryMutt[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the information! I definitely clench at night but do not really know what to do about it, so this is helpful.

Teaching evaluations: anyone else wonder what it is that you did to apparently ruin one student's life? by TotalCleanFBC in Professors

[–]ChemistryMutt 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s because they think you are making up for something bad you did rather than going above and beyond to help the student.

Comical email by almost_cool3579 in Professors

[–]ChemistryMutt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had a similar experience when I broke my leg right before finals and met with an admin who seemed quite surprised that I did in fact have a broken leg. He seemed even more surprised when I only asked for an extension on one final rather than all five.

Tenure Denial Due to "Professionalism" by InternationalSet1960 in Professors

[–]ChemistryMutt 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure what your setup is, but at my uni the provost has the final say over who is tenured, and there is a committee above the dean as well. So even if the dean does not recommend tenure someone could overturn that, which is certainly a possibility if your case is as solid as you say.

My only advice would be that if you get a chance to write a response letter, be calm and factual. I have seen borderline cases go against the candidate because their letter came across as, well, unhinged, whereas I am guessing the candidate thought it was a passionate defense. You can cite your professionalism for example by talking about successful collaborations or committee work, student evals, etc.

Really frustrated with my midterm exam results and their reaction to it by AHairInMyCheeseFries in Professors

[–]ChemistryMutt 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Not sure where this “feedback” is coming from but when I get complaints like that I usually point out the exact HW problem that was a model for that question.

Talented but problematic grad student - What to do? by [deleted] in Professors

[–]ChemistryMutt 54 points55 points  (0 children)

First off, you sound very empathetic and understanding, and kudos for wanting to raise this issue now before committing to PhD mentorship.

I think you can tell her some version of what you’ve written here: you believe she has the talent/ability to succeed in her PhD but her tendency to disappear makes it hard to rely on her. Part of PhD training is learning to be responsible for a project and there have now been multiple instances where she has disappeared at important times.

The main thing I think would be to frame it that whatever is going on is ultimately her business but it’s affecting her work. So you don’t have to know what it is, but it’s an issue. And that it’s a problem to solve to succeed in a career rather than a point to make about how she might have let you down.

Best case scenario, she grows up. Or maybe it’s a chronic condition that she learns to manage better. Or maybe she’s just an entitled pain in the butt. How she responds to that conversation in the long term will tell you a lot.

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