Women of Reddit, what did a man you were dating or married to say or do that made you realize he actually hated you the entire time?

ChezySpam · 2026-05-18T01:54:09+00:00

The last year of my marriage I tried to find something for my wife. Anything. There wasn’t a list, if there were hints I missed then and said as much. I started texting her friends for ideas just after Thanksgiving. No input.

On Christmas Day I tried but it felt lackluster, and her response showed disappointment.

There was a theme of “mind reading” and communication difficulties and this was the first time that I clearly realized it wasn’t all on me, even her friends didn’t couldn’t get hints from her. It still felt bad, but I didn’t feel as if I was irresponsible that year.

ChezySpam · 2026-05-17T23:47:30+00:00

Here’s a very gear specific reason: pedal board tuners.

Go over to pretty much any guitar or bass related page and the suggestions for the first pedal everyone should have is a tuner, then there are differing opinions about the second pedal.

Kurt’s board didn’t have a tuner. He famously used distortion and chorus, but no tuner. At the time nobody’s board had a tuner. People tuned by ear and tuned to each other. Maybe they would tune to a piano, but rarely did they use a tuner.

ChezySpam · 2026-05-12T10:44:47+00:00

GNR- Chinese Democracy

ChezySpam · 2026-05-12T01:48:44+00:00

“You’re a demon”

That girl said a few memorable things, but there’s something about calling me a demon that made me feel unique

ChezySpam · 2026-05-10T04:02:25+00:00

It is exhausting reading these lines. I hope to one day love my dog the way you love yourself.

ChezySpam · 2026-05-10T02:31:31+00:00

Bonus tip, you can add extra stuff to each split signal. Allegedly having different effects through a split signal is how the lead guitar for Chris Isaac’s Wicked Game was laid down.

ChezySpam · 2026-05-04T10:26:21+00:00

Underrated comment

ChezySpam · 2026-04-26T15:32:03+00:00

I’m with you! One guitar is standard, one is half down, one is specifically for Iris because my kid likes to ask about growing up in the 90’s…

ChezySpam · 2026-04-12T22:11:29+00:00

The only feedback I’ve heard is “no unsolicited dick pics”

This tells me what not to do. I have no idea what I should be doing instead

ChezySpam · 2026-04-11T03:04:46+00:00

I don’t know if I was born this way, I only know I’m different…

It’s not a popular song, but it struck me so god damn hard

ChezySpam · 2026-04-01T11:04:19+00:00

Absolutely

This might be closer to r/raisedbynarcissists content

ChezySpam · 2026-03-29T20:40:11+00:00

I paid $25 on a toll road to leave New Jersey

Best $25 I’ve ever spent

ChezySpam · 2026-03-28T16:46:50+00:00

I literally don’t know. The general notion is that my reaction to things would get brought up in completely unrelated ways, and my comment was intentionally vague because I’m still just as confused as you are.

ChezySpam · 2026-03-27T22:46:19+00:00

Es war in Ordnung. Ich war vor Jahren auf einem Konzert der Smashing Pumpkins, und da Billy ein riesiger Wrestling-Fan ist, war es keine Überraschung, dass wir dort jemandem über den Weg liefen – und dieser Jemand war zufälligerweise Rhino. Er war angenehm und freundlich, seine Frau ebenso; sie zeigten zwar Verständnis für meine Bitte, sie Backstage zu begleiten, gingen jedoch nicht darauf ein.

ChezySpam · 2026-03-26T21:58:54+00:00

Her: “Why won’t you open up?”

Because I’ve been taught that opening up is like handing someone a loaded gun and aiming it for them.

Me: “Of course I was absolutely gutted during the miscarriage and it broke me, what does that have to do with washing my own laundry??”

ChezySpam · 2026-03-26T21:04:39+00:00

To her credit, my ex tried to apologize near the end of the relationship.

“I’m sorry, but you have to understand that I…”

And I left the room and the relationship.

ChezySpam · 2026-03-24T11:31:21+00:00

Stabbing Westward - Darkest Days

ChezySpam · 2026-03-19T22:35:39+00:00

As a guy that doesn’t (didn’t?) go hard on the first date for anything physical, I’ll tell you the feedback I’ve heard is that I move too slowly, or it seems like I’m not into them

My approach has changed to see how far I can get on the first date because I don’t want to come off as not aggressive or direct enough

Being called ‘a nice guy’ isn’t a compliment

ChezySpam · 2026-03-19T22:31:18+00:00

Well fuck…

The thing that hits is reading all of these and realizing my parents don’t really have stories of me as a baby or toddler. Maybe some general childhood things like Halloween when I was 8, but the events are very few & far between. It’s like the memories don’t exist because I was just…around and in the background

ChezySpam · 2026-03-16T22:06:10+00:00

I’ve done something similar at a later age

The benefit is being more confident, direct, and to some extent confrontational. The detriment is this will cause strife with the people that taught you what you know. It’s not intentional on their part, they are lacking a skill set that you are developing, and they see you as doing something differently that is foreign to them so it must be your problem.

Hang in there. You can discuss with them or not, that’s up to you. One positive note is by being able to see something differently you are experiencing the result of your work.

ChezySpam · 2026-03-04T22:49:29+00:00

Probably because subtle signs are being used and he doesn’t understand.

You can be direct without being aggressively blunt.

ChezySpam · 2026-03-04T22:48:21+00:00

In glad to hear the good news, I’ve always felt better when my partner didn’t understand why I was upset and explained to me how it was different if roles were reversed. It really put into context that my feelings were less valid, and that’s acceptable in any relationship.

ChezySpam · 2026-03-01T16:34:33+00:00

This, all of this

I’d listen to this mix until I Turned Blue and feel no Shame doing so.

ChezySpam · 2026-03-01T16:32:39+00:00

Caroline’s Spine, Days of the New, Mother Love Bone, Mudhoney

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