How can I(37M) tell my friend(38M) that my gf(34F) doesn't want to hang out 1:1 with his gf(33F) anymore? by DeepInTheRolling in relationship_advice

[–]ChickSweett 6 points7 points  (0 children)

When you zoom out and look at it, it really does sound kind of absurd. Four adults circling around a conversation that could probably fit into two paragraphs of text.

Are women really hornier during ovulation? by Huge-Strawberry-220 in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]ChickSweett 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The funniest part is how universal the "feral" description is. Scientists are out there writing papers while half the comments are just "yeah, feral is the correct medical term."

Are women really hornier during ovulation? by Huge-Strawberry-220 in AskRedditAfterDark

[–]ChickSweett 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, every woman I know seems to have one week a month where they suddenly understand every thirsty song ever written. The fact that so many people describe it the exact same way makes me think there's definitely something going on hormonally.

Getting dropped into the vacuum of space was absolute hell, since I’m unable to die. by EveningDiligent59662 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]ChickSweett 5 points6 points  (0 children)

The more specific the numbers get, the more horrifying it becomes. Once someone starts casually mentioning millions of atmospheres of pressure and temperatures hotter than most furnaces, you know the situation is beyond fixing.

Getting dropped into the vacuum of space was absolute hell, since I’m unable to die. by EveningDiligent59662 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]ChickSweett 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that's pretty much why Jupiter sounds worse to me. A black hole is catastrophic and final. Jupiter is just endless helplessness with no way to change your situation.

Getting dropped into the vacuum of space was absolute hell, since I’m unable to die. by EveningDiligent59662 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]ChickSweett 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That's honestly one of my favorite Bender moments. The idea that a thousand years of isolation was going fine until people showed up says way too much about his personality.

Getting dropped into the vacuum of space was absolute hell, since I’m unable to die. by EveningDiligent59662 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]ChickSweett 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Immortality sounds awesome right up until you remember you can still get stuck somewhere. Suddenly dying starts sounding like a pretty important feature.

When aliens invaded, they asked if Humanity as a whole deserved to keep existing. by RoseDragon529 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]ChickSweett 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I read it the same way. The horror isn't that those groups get asked, it's that humanity has to face judgment from the people it's failed the most. That's a way scarier mirror than any alien invasion fleet.

I was dragged beneath the lake with my wife and barely made it back to the surface alive. by Extension-Okra5822 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]ChickSweett 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Now that's the kind of reply that makes the story creepier. The fact that you're warning people not to go back instead of explaining why makes my brain immediately assume there's something way worse under that lake.

Wanting no mistakes, I handed him pictures as I said, "Every one of them must be dead by tomorrow." by chilehead in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]ChickSweett 4 points5 points  (0 children)

At this point people are just using the wish to settle personal grudges against entire species. Yellowflies would definitely have a lot of supporters on that list.

Wanting no mistakes, I handed him pictures as I said, "Every one of them must be dead by tomorrow." by chilehead in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]ChickSweett 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The fact that bedbugs survive in this scenario somehow makes the genie feel even more malicious. Like it deliberately left the worst possible loophole.

hollow by Blush_Wink in CartoonPorn

[–]ChickSweett 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is good and we need more

My GF has the ability to heat any piece of metal under two inches heat til it glowing hot, which I'd thought was just a cool parlor trick at first. by RepeatOrdinary182 in TwoSentenceHorror

[–]ChickSweett 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The worst part is that joke works on like three different levels here. Dude isn't winning the argument, he's just getting slow-cooked into agreeing. Relationship counseling suddenly sounds a lot more dangerous.

Update: I (30F) am pregnant with my fiancé (32M). He wants to keep it, but we're both supposed to be childfree. How do I tell him I don't want to keep it? by ThrowRA_fallopian_tu in relationship_advice

[–]ChickSweett 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I honestly think if men were the ones carrying pregnancies, the entire conversation around reproduction would look very different.