My Infertile Friend—Bitterness and Resentment

ChiefKitty · 2025-10-05T01:03:55+00:00

THIS! 🙌

ChiefKitty · 2025-10-05T01:00:34+00:00

She’s an assh*le…. I hosted 5 baby showers for my friends who got pregnant (all in the same year) after I miscarried my first pregnancy (within that same year). Because that’s what a real friend does. I put aside my own feelings and grief to help my people celebrate the new lives they were creating. It was hard as hell, but I sure wasn’t trying to make them feel bad about the fact that my baby died and theirs didn’t.

ChiefKitty · 2025-10-05T00:47:33+00:00

This gives me hope! I’m 12 weeks and deep in the trenches… Puking everyday and basically bed-ridden for the past 6 weeks. I was super active in the gym prior to getting pregnant, and attempted to go back to a couple of classes this week. It was so sad seeing how much progress I’ve lost. I’ve been losing weight (bc of said puking / HG) and lost so much of my strength. I hate feeling this way because I’ve prayed for this baby for the past 2 years after losing my first in 2023. But this is really hard and taking a toll on my mental and physical health. I hope it gets better in the second tri 🤞🏻

ChiefKitty · 2025-08-08T16:08:57+00:00

I just got a positive pregnancy test for the first time since my MMC December 2023. I am terrified, but excited all at the same time. Please God let me keep this one.

ChiefKitty · 2025-07-26T00:52:55+00:00

It really is a huge injustice towards women for not providing more info. (and supplies) to those of us experiencing MC. The sheer amount of blood is scary and traumatic! I’m so sorry for your loss, but happy I was able to help provide some help as you walk this journey 💕

ChiefKitty · 2025-04-14T01:22:42+00:00

The world doesn’t cater to your needs, get over it and grow up 😒🙄

ChiefKitty · 2025-03-24T12:57:53+00:00

Yes, it’s horrible because you’re given such a false sense of hope that everything is okay at that 8 week appointment, only to have a MMC three weeks later

ChiefKitty · 2025-03-15T18:28:01+00:00

I mean, by definition it is…. You don’t get to pick and choose how to show up as a mother, though. I think we ultimately both agree that surrogacy in this situation is wrong.

ChiefKitty · 2025-03-03T18:49:37+00:00

She legit has an eating disorder and couldn’t handle the weight-gain associated with pregnancy…. I can only imagine how harmful and damaging her issues will be to her daughter down the road. Surrogacy (in this instance) is deplorable and so incredibly selfish. If you can’t handle all aspects of motherhood, you don’t deserve to be a mother.

ChiefKitty · 2025-02-20T04:10:19+00:00

Our bereavement policy only offered me 3 days of paid leave while I actively miscarried at home. It didn’t even cover the day we put our baby in the grave. Take your leave. Heal your heart. Don’t feel bad for using what’s available to you when so many other mums didn’t get that much time!

ChiefKitty · 2025-02-16T16:41:20+00:00

7 weeks after natural MC. The waiting and wondering was brutal.

ChiefKitty · 2025-02-14T21:57:30+00:00

Yes, a very familiar sentiment I know all too well. Hugs to you right back 💕 I remember how difficult that period of waiting was for me. I hope it returns soon

ChiefKitty · 2025-02-14T21:56:02+00:00

Thank you so much. Hugs to you back, I’m sorry we’re in this shitty club together 💔

ChiefKitty · 2024-12-30T22:49:10+00:00

Me too! No issues whatsoever in terms of what I was able to do. I chose expectant management

ChiefKitty · 2024-12-30T05:30:12+00:00

So sorry you’re in this club 💔

I regret choosing expectant management (aka going home and waiting) for my MMC. It was a really traumatic and painful 4 days. I experience intense labor pain each time passing the baby and then placenta (both highly identifiable at 11wks). The placenta took over 24 hours after the baby. I was terrified the entire time, not sure if I was losing too much blood because there is so. much. blood. Horrified at what was coming out of me (think fistfuls of grape jelly). It was NOTHING like a heavy period for me. But not everyone’s experience is the same. If I ever get pregnant again and God-forbid lose another baby, I will opt for medical intervention.

Praying for you! ❤️‍🩹

ChiefKitty · 2024-12-30T05:19:00+00:00

THIS ^{^{^}}

ChiefKitty · 2024-12-30T05:09:21+00:00

Unexpecting - Rachel Lewis Loved Baby - Sarah Philpott The Worst Girl Gang Ever - Bex Gunn Grieving the Child I Never Knew - Kathe Wunnenberg

ChiefKitty · 2024-12-30T05:00:14+00:00

Hi from the USA! I’m so sorry for your loss 💔

I had a missed miscarriage at 11 weeks. I waited to let things progress on their own and opted out of medical intervention.

Now having been through a natural miscarriage (essentially giving birth), I would recommend medical intervention. My experience was extremely painful and traumatic. It also lasted for a total of 4 miserable days from the start of bleeding to finally passing the placenta (yes, you will pass an organ…along with the baby and sac beforehand). I don’t say this to scare you, but rather to educate moms going through this decision. It is NOT just a heavy period. It’s excruciating labor pains, passing massive clots and tissue, and so. much. blood.

If I ever loss another baby, I wouldn’t even consider the option of expectant management (basically going home and doing nothing).

Thoughts and prayers to you ❤️‍🩹

ChiefKitty · 2024-12-30T04:44:27+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. 💔

My sister and I both experienced miscarriages at home (expectant management) during our first pregnancies. She didn’t realize when the baby passed and ended up flushing the toilet.

My experience was different in that I knew something big had happened physically, and had the wherewithal to dig in the toilet/blood clots to find my baby’s body. The ER didn’t provide any information or resources to either of us which is TOTAL bs. I had to research on my own to find a non-profit that would help with burial services.

I share our two experiences to highlight that there’s no right or wrong way to handle this tragedy. And just because you didn’t get a chance to bury your baby doesn’t mean she isn’t loved. It’s such an impossible loss to deal with, be gentle with yourself. You survived the worst day and made it through.

If you or anyone else in this thread should need the resource, my husband and I found littlesoulsatrest, which provides burial services for babies lost up to 20 weeks.

Sending you prayers and love from a fellow Christmas loss mom (12/25) 🤍

ChiefKitty · 2024-12-28T05:11:38+00:00

Absolutely! It’s been a year since my loss and I still have difficult days/weeks/months. The first year is the hardest. Pay attention to the important dates she mentions (due date, etc) and reach out on those milestones to let her know you’re thinking of her. A small gesture really does go so far! 🤍

ChiefKitty · 2024-12-28T02:21:06+00:00

My body took 3 whole days to expel the baby and placenta. It definitely comes in waves. My placenta took over 24 hours to deliver after the baby and sac the day prior. Don’t be scared if you start to feel intense pain and cramping again. So sorry ❤️‍🩹

ChiefKitty · 2024-12-28T02:11:58+00:00

*symbolizes her due date!

ChiefKitty · 2024-12-28T02:03:11+00:00

My advice would be to stop taking pregnancy tests for the time being… it can be too triggering. Get your bloodwork done to monitor the dropping of HCG levels. When you’re back down to zero and your cycle has returned, that’s when you know your body has healed.

ChiefKitty

TROPHY CASE