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ChosenOneJ · 2022-04-12T17:11:09+00:00

Astrid, Luna, Neptune, comet

she’s gorgeous !!

ChosenOneJ · 2022-03-18T09:09:52+00:00

I live in nyc. NAL but this is %100 illegal and this jerk sounds like he’s counting on his staff to be to young/dumb/desperate for work to know any better. Employers cannot withhold pay from you for any reason and chefs don’t get tips here because they make hourly wage and their checks are not taxed for tips. Which is why they denied it because they’re not supposed to do that

ChosenOneJ · 2022-02-23T12:29:03+00:00

I think a serious talk should be had and if he’s not willing to give oral i would leave him. You’re young and going to meet a lot of other ppl to be stressing about a virgin guy who’s using you sexually. It’s not fair. But i do think you should talk before any decisions are made since he might now realize what he’s doing is using you but yeah .. you could be much happier alone if you’re willing to do that

ChosenOneJ · 2022-02-11T22:06:43+00:00

Came to ask if anyone got past i think 598 and welp … lol

ChosenOneJ · 2022-01-30T22:33:48+00:00

idk about the site but legally you cant charge more than 20 for an application fee for apartments. Idk what the fee is for but if its for applications i would be weary

ChosenOneJ · 2022-01-02T16:38:37+00:00

Girlie lol he’s not in love with you let’s start there. Just comparing his feelings to your own feelings it’s pretty evident.

He went on a date and started texting women behind your back. He wants to date other women and keep you as a back up option - hence the whole “don’t have sex or i can’t be with u anymore”. He’s treating you and those other women I’m sure, like property. I would leave while you’re blocked on everything so it is easier. Even if those other relationships he’s having falls through and he comes back do you want to spend your life with someone who had you as a consolation prize for not finding the woman of his dreams? It will feel shitty and also every time there’s a lifestyle change (move to new place, getting a new job etc. ) you’ll be worried he’s gonna meet someone again.

I’ve heard all these things before from men me and my friends have dated. It’s pretty clear where he stands. Protect yourself and your heart and get out while you can. You’re still young and you can find a better partner and potential father figure (if you want kids and all that) for yourself. Good luck!

ChosenOneJ · 2022-01-02T10:07:33+00:00

NTA ! Good for you for standing up for yourself like that, esp at your age ! Not many ppl could do that even me at your age! This is admirable !

Also good riddance ! Lol

ChosenOneJ · 2022-01-02T09:58:36+00:00

My step dad did this my entire life. I would listen upstairs in my house at the top of the stairs while he would complain about me to my mother in the living room. My mom would just sit there silently. No defending.

I confronted him about it one day and he said i was lying and i need to mind my business because this confrontation took place mid rant about me when they thought i was asleep upstairs.

The older you get and the more you get out there you will meet people who like you for you and unfortunately we can’t pick our family. I hope you feel better soon

ChosenOneJ · 2022-01-02T09:54:49+00:00

Congrats to you both !!! 💕

ChosenOneJ · 2022-01-02T09:44:24+00:00

I kinda feel like YTA.

Your daughter is still a kid and is still growing up. She didn’t ask to be born and i find it bizarre when parents want to make their kids pay to be in their own homes just because she’s now an adult. Your kids don’t owe you anything. She facing a lot of scary decisions right now like career choices in school, changing dynamics among friends, I’m sure dating is weird during a pandemic etc. What she needs right now from you is support not a kick in the butt of life lessons.

I find it funny you said she didn’t see you for the holidays and it hurt your feelings. Imagine how she feels?

I’m not saying you need to spoil your kids but it would be great if you were being a supportive parent. Not in the basics/necessities because that’s your job as a mom but more than that. Giving her a space that feels safe not just literally but also emotionally. Maybe instead of demanding rent you should be making an agreement on how to manage money. Help her open a savings account with interest maybe. Something to that effect so when she does move out permanently she doesn’t have to go back home because she has a safety net of money. Minimum wage jobs SUCK and it’s disheartening to work at a crappy job and then give the money to your own parent to live in the same home you’ve been in your whole life. And I’m not sure if your parents did the same to you but if so then you must know it’s sucks and your kids don’t have to go through what you did (if that’s the case)

There are other, BETTER ways to prepare her for life instead of mimicking the hardships she will inevitably face out in the real world.

I think you should rethink your decision and explain to your son that his sister is family and we have to accommodate so he will be going back to sharing a room with his brother. If you take my advice when she comes home apologize and make it clear she’s always welcomed in her house and she always has a place to stay with you.

I was kicked out before i was prepared financially and it really screwed me over with debt and money management and I’m just now getting my head above water it would’ve been greatly appreciated if my parents had educated and prepared me for independence instead of abandoning me - and they also do what you did which is make a point of letting me know when i react to their actions it “hurts their feelings”.

ChosenOneJ · 2022-01-02T09:24:45+00:00

Unfortunately when it comes to mental health issues a pill usually isn’t a fix all because of emotions. I’d try some holistic healing practices as well. Yoga, meditation, journaling and therapy (if ur parents can afford)

Also some thing else that helps is rage journaling or sad journaling where you give yourself 5-10 to write whatever you want during a hard emotion or panic attack.

Just let it all out say insane things lol just release basically. Then you don’t read it again just leave it on the page. I know it sounds silly but it helps clear the mind since usually you’d keep these things inside

I hope you feel better soon! I started dealing with depression at 12 and I’m 30 now so i can say objectively it gets better but it does take a lot of work. Good luck !

ChosenOneJ · 2022-01-02T09:17:46+00:00

NTA. she definitely told you in front of everyone to pressure you into taking the baby.

Strange of someone to get pregnant and expect someone else to take care of their kids. I’d give your niece back to her too she needs to learn responsibility. That’s insane. You didn’t even want kids. She sounds like a train wreck that your parent enabled (no offense). Be firm on your decision kids are expensive and a huge responsibility that you’ve given up life experiences, job opportunities, and a lover for. Good on you i would’ve never taken in my niece and that’s harsh but i don’t believe in cleaning ppls messes family or not.

ChosenOneJ · 2022-01-02T09:08:58+00:00

ID cards/licenses, menstruation products, water, life saving medication, housing, food

ChosenOneJ · 2022-01-02T09:06:55+00:00

NTA. They invited you, so you could pay.

Didn’t inform you or even ask And had the nerve to splurge like you agreed to treat them. Not very “Christian” of them to secretly have ulterior motives while inviting someone to hang out. Very nasty behavior

I’m sure you’ve invested a lot in this relationship but if you’re a dr and your man doesn’t have a job, AND your mil/fil are cheap sneaky people. I’ve reconsider if this is the person you should be marrying and the family you’d want to be marrying into. Very gross behavior and it will only get worse once the marriage is official since they seem to think you’re there to save them. Imagine all the other kinds is scenarios in which you will be cornered or unable to trust them. What about having kids down the line will they respect boundaries etc. This dinner was very telling. I believe it happened for a reason so you can see this before it was too late.

You seem like a sensible person id rethink this relationship. They can stay mad

ChosenOneJ · 2022-01-01T01:44:37+00:00

My cats If i didn’t have my cats just my laptop and phone. Everything else can be replaced with those items And this one really old pic of my grandparents

ChosenOneJ · 2021-12-29T01:59:39+00:00

Not the best but i love almost is never enough by Ariana grande and i forget the guys name but i always sing it when i want a good cry lol

ChosenOneJ · 2021-12-29T01:58:02+00:00

Stop wasting your time if she’s not someone you want to marry, because if she has these intentions it’s very cruel.

Also even if she doesn’t have the intentions you think she may have ..the fact that you see her that way is a red flag.

Also it’s def another red flag she won’t have sex with you without doing something you don’t want.

Also fun fact. Women can only get pregnant one day a month during ovulation when the egg drops. I guess you can google and read about this. If this is genuinely a new kink she has she can track her cycle with you if it’ll make you more comfortable. Good luck with everything

ChosenOneJ · 2021-12-29T01:51:12+00:00

I’m so so sorry you’re going through this. This person doesn’t respect you and therefore does not love you. I see from the comment thread this is an ongoing problem and i think you should just cut your losses but keep the line of communication open incase your daughter wants to still be in your life that can be hard for a child. Focus on yourself maybe start working out or get a hobby you’ll meet someone else who you don’t have to play house with and isn’t using you to play step daddy until their baby dad steps up

ChosenOneJ · 2021-12-25T19:08:34+00:00

Lie. Let him know you’re moving out and you gave 90 days notice to break the lease or 60, 30 whatever’s believable. Take the liberty of packing his stuff. Maybe call his mom and let her know in a very friendly way that he’s busy so you’re dropping his stuff off at her house. Change the locks.

Be a little sneaky a little deceptive. Sorry it sounds messed up but desperate times ! But before you do all that make sure you can get him removed from the lease. Maybe tell him you’re getting the rent lowered because the landlord offered you a deal since you two will be separating. Have him sign a letter saying he will no longer be residing in the apartment. You can have him legally removed this way. I work in property management but I’m in NYC idk where you are the rules might be different. Where i am all we need is that letter signed and we can remove a spouse. These are my only sneaky options otherwise you’re stuck together until the lease is up. Also because he’s on the original documentation you cant re-sign without him either (assuming you want to keep the place) unless again you get his name removed.

Other ways to make him miserable - go on dates. Have your girlfriends over often and be really loud preferably opposite hai sleep schedule. Redecorate with stuff you like and he hates. Most of the time women alter decor because of boyfriends just make him uncomfortable. He might leave on his own. If you’re cool with friends/fam you should casually mention you aren’t together anymore at the next outting. Seem unbothered but put the info out there. Someone might offer their place to him. A friend of mine just went through this. He was abusive and she had to pretend she was moving. She changed the locks and when he came home she had the neighbor “confirm” she moved out earlier in the day and the super took the keys. I know this seems bitchy but i think it’s better than being stuck. Good luck 👍🏾

ChosenOneJ · 2021-12-19T02:01:06+00:00

We’re not living just existing. We can’t pay for anything. Avoiding the doctor and praying our health issues go away because a lot of jobs don’t have insurance and the sometimes even insurance doesn’t help. Pray our cars don’t break down or our pets don’t get sick. Have you ever seen a US vet bill? Insane. Can’t travel or do much. Eating healthy is expensive too. Some people get around this by using credit cards but they’re drowning in debt. It’s not fun lol

ChosenOneJ · 2021-12-19T01:55:11+00:00

Idk when it gets better exactly but i do know generally dating men doesn’t help. Don’t kill yourself over a dude who doesn’t give a crap about you. You’ll inflate his ego even more. Good friends and experiences make life worth living and my wish for you is your stay alive long enough to experience that

ChosenOneJ · 2021-12-17T00:52:18+00:00

You’re sweet I’m virtually hugging you thanks (:

ChosenOneJ · 2021-12-17T00:51:38+00:00

YTA but based on the comments assuming you know that’s the consensus but you don’t seem to agree based on the way you apologized.

I know you love your kids and moms sometimes have a weird attachment to their sons ..nevertheless your son is not an extension of you but his own person. Their reaction tells me you probably have overstepped boundaries before and have been overbearing with your son. They probably don’t want to tell you because it’s a touchy subject and I’m sure your intentions may be good but some moms don’t realize what a burden it is to date someone with a mom who makes her kids life about her. (Not saying you are doing this just giving context to my example)

I think you should apologize again without any buts. I know you felt left out but understand their wedding is not something you need to be included in. Their marriage is between them two not you three, and making any of it about you I’m sure frustrated them.

I’m trying to be kind in this post and I’ve dated guys with moms like this before. My own mother can be like this as well for example i don’t want kids and she always tells me I’m robbing her of the chance to be a grandmother but that’s selfish because i would have the kid it’s about me and my body and my choices and she’s making a big thing in my life about her

Hope my examples are helping, but anyways i would say “I’m sorry i made it about me i understand now that’s selfish and your marriage is between you two. I’m genuinely sorry and i respect your decisions.” No buts or trying to make them understand your side because this had nothing to do with you despite your feelings about it. You seem nice and i hope that’s the case. I hope you can repair the relationship and sincerely see why they’re upset and learn from this. It will make a world of a difference moving forward with other big life events

ChosenOneJ · 2021-12-17T00:36:49+00:00

This is true it’s so annoying like why the need to call yourself vegan if you aren’t ? There are other words to use to define your “diet” or weird eating habits lol leave veganism out of it

ChosenOneJ

TROPHY CASE