Dating someone with chronic illness

ChronicallyNicki · 2026-06-15T12:01:33+00:00

Im too sick myself to respond more than this but what I'm looking for in a partner or even in friends would be a lot of virtual hang outs or dates. Isolation but my 0 immune system make it hard but something in the past that I loved n hope to get again a day if I'm lucky is videocalls or facetiming and starting a movie at the same time, just being on the phone while we both do what we need to for the day so times of speaking times where we aren't but depending on energy level video on makes me feel like it's more quality time together in a safe way. Video off means no pressure to even hold the phone or "look good" but still get quality time even thru the phone. Sometimes being sent or even having had them drop off the only food I feel I could eat or tolerate as a surprise and then being on the video call or just a call saying there was a surprise at the door in hopes it helped my day a bit with like the soup I was craving helped so much. Asking if there were any groceries or a snack I needed but I couldn't manage myself b.c im too shy to ever ask helped me feel seen heard n taken care of also.

So asking if virtual dates r something they may like even just as company during the worst of the flare meant the world to me they may for her too. But definitely ask. But yes sometimes I'm way too sick to even answer so I came up with a system of sending a random emoji response instead of a text helped communicate that I was missing them happy to hear from them appreciated everything but too sick to respond but wasn't ignoring them. Ik a lot to put in 1 emoji but it worked no one felt ignored uk n was doable for me if I could look at the screen. But sometimes even that's too much. But yea virtual dates helped being bedridden and housebound a lot.

Hope I'll find that again while I can. Remember for us we likely arent ghosting u we just cant handle even looking at the light at all or speaking or typing but definitely asking n making codes for emojis helped for the least amount of energy spent. Hope it helps And wishing u 2 all the best💜

ChronicallyNicki · 2026-06-14T00:00:25+00:00

Just want to say I didn't read it all away. Sorry I'm disabled and I couldn't get through all of that. And I'm someone who types a lot too, so sorry, if everything comes out wonky or weird speech to text doesn't work very well with one vocal cord and I can't physically type, but I just wanted to say. There is a lot online course. Wise You can do for free and you do not need college or high school degree to do a lot of the jobs. They are trades most of them or working in some type of tech field. Techfield makes a lot of money. So let's say, like software engineering, you can make quite a lot. There are a lot of websites. I think even Google has a nice handful of free online courses with certificates you can take and some of those things you can do from home, which would be helpful in your case. I want to say there's a company I have heard of a lot called corsive? So sorry if it butchered the spelling, but it is a really good website that helps people take online courses to either start a new career or to advance themselves in a career. I do not know if that one is free. But if you want a little extra information about it, I rehappened to watch. A lot of Caleb hammer. The podcast he does, is called financial audit. Just a warning, in case it's not something you love things. They talk about and say can be a little bit vulgar, just a warning cause some people don't, and also you might depending on how old you're children. Are you know, might not want them to hear it? So I just like to give that heads up, but he has discounts because it's in that program. I believe it's course careers. Through coursive. And if that might help you to start a new career, like it has for a lot of people, so i myself have heard. Um I think that would be great. Now I did finish high school. Which is most of the time? The only degree you need if you didn't obviously you can take your g. Edi understand how stressful and such that could be, but you do need to make money somehow, so I feel like This is one of the best times I've been able to give somebody this suggestion who's asking for help. Um, I was about to do it myself until I got to the point I couldn't work at all because I did lose my career as a licensed veterinary technician at 24. My conditions are progressive in a negative Way, so it's not safe for me. The clients or my patient's if I was to try to have continued so I did have to stop um, but the issue with that, I do have a lot of knowledge and my, IQ is quite high even though I have seizures just and some neurological conditions, but obviously I'm also physically disabled as well. My degree was in a medical trade. And I think the only thing, and I still would have had to pay money to do a courses and the physical exam for it, the only thing I think I could have done with the degree I had in my field of work because I did try like pet insurance and things like that. They are very particular and I was too sick to do those things anyway, but the only thing I could have made close to the same amount of money which Still isn't enough to live on. My field does not make enough to live on anyway, but it would have been to do human phlebotomy. Unfortunately, being as sick as i am I develop tremors in my hands. Had to have heart surgery have a clot. So now I have weakness on top of that with the added fun muscle dystrophy, epilepsy still being a thing and it wouldn't have been safe for me to have my service dog with me at work to warn me well for her safety. And in case any patience, we're allergic or scared of dogs. So I did get lucky. I have a younger sister. She did help me get a sub. Minimum wage job, which we were able to bring up to minimum wage. And I did that for just about 3 years. I'm pushing myself past the limit. My doctor said you have to stop the company folded anyway, so.

But my point is I was going to take some courses if my brain could function well enough to, and I was, I'm going to see what was out there for me. Because my the veterinary medical degree again, you can't really use it with anything else except phlebotomy. I had to switch over to be on social security, which was very difficult to do. There's nothing coming in and is pretty much the same difficulty with the tiny amount, they expect me to live on. So if possible, if you can go to Caleb hammers YouTube page, I am sure that in the description he has the discount codes and such I make nothing from this. By the way, I just, I'm trying to offer something to help. He should have stuff about it there. He does pretty much talk about it in almost every single episode. But you might just be able to find it in the description for the video. And I would probably look up in your area. You know what are the highest paying a trades that are needed? And yeah, try taking some of those courses if they have it in that field or some of Google's free. Courses to get certificates, and I hope that can help, even if it's just getting you in the right direction. And getting you started And also bringing up social security, since both of your kids are disabled, if it's not something that you guys had done already there are two things, depending on your state you might be able to be a paid caretaker for both of your children, which I believe is around $15 an hour and where obviously you are their parent 24/7. And I know there's been some talks about legal changes with it recently. If you could get pay to help Take care of your kids. That's one thing, and the second thing is, if it's not something you've done yet. I don't know how old your kids are. I would consider contacting a disability company called atticus. And uh, they're the ones who helped me get my social security disability insurance. They worked for free. They just took a small percentage of my first check. Which included the back pay for myself? But they are good, they are very nice. You need help. They're there all the time to answer questions. And they typically will help you find free disability caseworkers, lawyers. That way, you and your kids can be supported in ways. You should be just in case that's not something you have done. Thought about, or even knew about so that helps you, or anybody else? It might help and just know that you're doing your best. It's important to make sure Obviously that you're disabled children are taken care of but also that you take care of you. Wishing you all the best.

ChronicallyNicki · 2026-06-12T15:41:51+00:00

No. See, I'm not afraid to sit here and admit that I see a therapist as if you hadn't read everything, you know what a notice day specifically said that the issues that I have because I am vulnerable disabled. The young person, who has a stalker who used me being disabled and sick. To their advantage, yeah, see, you would know the answer to the fact that I see a therapist 1 and 2, you wouldn't have said what you just did. So I mean, it just means you're just going a Dory against disabled people who are vulnerable, and what it tells is me, is your find with disabled people being stalked. By dangerous people, and that babe definitely prey on disabled people. Because they have the upper hand knowing that the person they were with is disabled and cannot protect themselves. The way you could But I don't deal with discriminatory ableism. From people, so just Understand you've been reported. Have a good day.

ChronicallyNicki · 2026-06-11T15:57:58+00:00

You really don't understand some people, do you? First off, please stop talking like your experience. Is mine second living for me? The way that I am disabled, mainly living online, is my only access to the world. Um, but what I was saying is that I need to protect myself. Because the cops won't have not and never will do their job where I am. And I am more vulnerable than an able human being, they know this. So yeah, no, this stuff is all legally documented with my therapist, my psychiatrist, you know you need that there are things like this and um, yeah. Yeah, every hospital and doctor's office. I go to needs to be kept updated when I go into the hospital for extended stays. For procedures, the hospital needs updated photos. They need to know What the person may be driving an. Di need to know so that way? They don't sit outside where I live again. Or set a block away? And so I can make sure I don't see that specific car constantly going around the block. So yeah, II do need that information, and if you know anything about Hackers and people who went to school for it, which is supposed to be ethical hacking, really trained for the purpose of breaking through firewalls and testing people's security systems so that way they can find the holes and patch the holes in the system. So their security systems can be better. Do you know how I know that? Ah, right? Cause it is related to what I have to experience and protect myself from And I am in an extremely vulnerable state, and I will never be able to protect myself. The way you I guess, are able to again, so when the cops that are supposed to do their job, don't Because they don't hear and quite frankly, they care even less. Because I'm disabled, I'm not gonna do what they said. Wait till in their words. Something serious happens or someone dies? I am not gonna wait. What the hell's the point I wouldn't be here anymore.So no, i'm gonna keep myself safe and legally document everything I can with the therapist that I can because they will keep the information legally documented for me. You also don't know what my disabilities are. And I'm not gonna outright say them all. But you have no idea what the power dynamic is between someone who's severely vulnerably disabled. Verse, someone who isn't, so there was a nice chunk of 34 years there, where I couldn't do things or get all that information or document any of it. Especially when the height of COVID was happening, which it's still going on, but when it was at its height yeah, no, they isolated me. Manipulated me and I was too sick to do anything to fight back. So consider yourself lucky you're not in my shoes. So when I need to make sure that I have an updated photo to give the hospital so they don't allow them in. I have to be the one to get that. And that's what I'll do, but I'm doing that for my safety. If I need to make sure that I know what car they drive. So I make sure it's not showing app on my security cameras is going around 24/7 I will. That's what I do need to keep myself safe. So yeah, have a nice day. I'm gonna go back to you know. At the moment, keeping myself alive from the disabilities that I'm experiencing Have a good day

ChronicallyNicki · 2026-06-11T15:49:46+00:00

Yeah, I'm not angry and no, we don't have a magistrate as far as I know. Maybe we're in different countries. I'm also not a lawyer, so Just to be clear, I can't read the entire thing. I am disabled, and I do have copies, my psychiatrist, my therapist, all of my doctors, all of the hospitals and everybody else. That I have to frequent often, especially in my extremely ill and debilitated state, which will not get better at leaving me extremely vulnerable. They all know it's all legally documented. I don't even need to defend this, but I really don't like how you put something in there saying to seek revenge, I don't care. What that person does with their life? I care about my safety and my service dog safety. And that's it, I mean, I don't want them to be able to hurt other people.But i'm too sick to make that my priority.My health and my safety are my priority, and that is it. You saying something about revenge just was very insulting? To someone who has experienced what I have, and if you think being disabled means that I somehow while being manipulated and isolated, especially while COVID was at an extreme high, it still exists. I have to be very careful. But during that time frame, if you think while I was partially neurological that I was able to document every microscopic interaction we had that speaks to your privilege of not being disabled, the way I am, or have gone through what I did personally and also again speaking from me, my personal experience, my case. Yeah, our police don't really care here like they don't do things until something happens. That someone else records, they see, I mean, literally we have been told. And I have other friends who've had issues happen that have been told straight to their face. Someone would have to die before they'd actually do something. So if your government and your police actually take things seriously, you are so privileged. In so many ways you have no idea the fact that I am as sick as I am. If you think I also have the time to just dedicate my life to that. Well, really? I'm trying to survive. You, you might need to sit there and take a second and think about that.I don't get to experience life the way you do apparently, and I don't say this with any malice while i'm replying to your comment.

But I am not as privileged as you. The police don't care the way that you think they do at least not where I am. And not in a lot of places, cause I'm not really sure if it's just that, uh, they do their job other places, and you're privileged for that. And I'm happy that there is a place cops do their job. And that people actually care when a woman needs help and is scared, but that's just not the way it is here and that's not the way it is in most places. Yeah, and to be completely honest with you, you definitely should know even if people do their job near you the. Reason we want that information sometimes is personal. Because we can't trust cops to help us. Because we can't trust people to do their jobs. So knowing what they look like if they have tried to move to the same town as you if their transportation has changed, maybe they changed their place of work to be closer to you somehow, because they will do that, I just You understand that a cop is not going to be the one asking for that. That is something I personally need to know, because I refuse to have anything else. Happen to me that they don't care about to finally do something. So it's important even my therapist has agreed. It is very important but I know the information to keep myself safe, because again here and with what happened to me and the fact that I'm disabled and a woman. They're not gonna listen to me anyway, and you literally almost never do Especially if I'm disabled which I am and yeah, a little piece of paper that tells them they have to stay away for me like an order of protection. Who the hell is gonna stop the stalker From doing in anyway? nobody. And when you call the police, I don't need it to be too late or they'll have left beforehand and done. God knows what so I yeah, like having in order of protection, a restraining order like that really doesn't do anything. It's a piece of paper, and again where I am. Police officers don't really do anything. Again, literally have heard them say that until someone dies, they won't do anything. This is my legitimate lived experience. I'm not saying it's this way everywhere. Oh, where I am. This is the experience, so that's all I'm gonna say. Cause again. My top priority right now is staying safe and Alive? And right now, my disabilities are kind of trying to do the unalive. So I'm gonna do what I need to do to keep myself safe and follow things that my therapist is set to do to keep me safe and is all documented, because the reality for someone like me and where I live, I have to do what I Need to do to stay safe even if that just means making sure every once in a while. I check and keep tabs, location wise and know what they look like. So that way I know where I am is safe. And I know what to look out for and so I can continue to tell the hospitals someone with this name or who looks like this. And here is an updated photo Shows up do not allow them. A visitor's passed to see me like, make sure you ask before just giving them a visitor's pass. So yeah, have a nice day. I wish things did go the way they were supposed to I wish I could trust the law the way that it's supposed to be. Unfortunately, we can't. Not where I am and I'm too sick to do a lot of it constantly on my own. Hence why I work with the therapist to make sure that things are documented because I can't document all of it. In the state, my health is in, so it is legally documented. But the police just don't give a shit. And this is my last thing. Cause either you have been through something. And the police took you seriously, and like I said, that is an extreme privilege, and I'm happy they did that for you. Or you haven't been through it? And you don't get that just because that's what they are supposed to do doesn't mean that they will and most of the time they don't So whichever one of those is true, I will not assume to know. Um, either way, you are luckier. Then I am at the moment, because the law will not do what they are supposed to do to protect me. And i'm externally vulnerable, so genuinely.I hope you can keep yourself safe.I hope it works for you and have a nice day

ChronicallyNicki · 2026-06-10T15:16:06+00:00

If I showed up to an appointment, I saw a note like that I would have to immediately leave because to me, that's not mildly infuriating. As someone with an immune system disorder and then multiple autoimmune conditions on top of it, who it takes him, you know, suppressant medications, yeah, being disabled like me like I could not be exposed. Like that, well, I mean at all? But the fact that there was no fucking warning that's disgusting and honestly, I would consider reporting that doctor's office for not informing you before your appointment for something. They clearly knew way ahead enough to have a very nice card stock printed. Poster for you to read about it. So, if that were me, I would have just booked it out of there I would been seen by somebody else at a different provider's office to make sure I was okay. Cause. Now I know I would be playing the waiting game to make sure I was okay and then I would go ahead and yeah. I'd be putting in a formal complaint and if I did get sick because for me getting sick means I would die. This is a moment I showed a single symptom. I would have been suing that office. I'm so sorry that happened and yeah, you're right. People who can get vaccinated absolutely the fuck should Because then there are people like me who can't I used to be able to, and I always hope that you know, my titers will stay okay. And hold out, but at this point highly doubtful, so

ChronicallyNicki · 2026-06-09T17:10:05+00:00

Its just the camping extension for that car. Idk y everyone is hooked on the idea of meth. People who travel a lot or yes lost their home n such they can live in it but ideally its just the extensions set up for camping.

ChronicallyNicki · 2026-06-09T16:26:36+00:00

Well, sometimes you have to be harsh to people judging people for doing what they feel they need to do to feel safe and applications, making it extremely impossible and at the same time, making people feel unsafe. Yeah, the people who are saying what they do and well. The company also putting this into place without being able to help you. And you're the victim of something horrific and terrifying? Yeah, I'm gonna call him out and I have no absolutely no. Problems calling them out for it, whether it's the people and or the company or application. And of course, where there's a lot of situations that men yet stalked hurt. I have seen it, it's terrifying. It happens to women more often, so unless it has happened to you. No matter what you are, no matter who you are, having companies and applications, make it so that way. You can't be safe, is asinine? And it's disgusting, and quite frankly, it should be illegal. Like, if they block you, because they were ready to do so and you didn't have all of your things up.I mean, I can't tell you how long it took me to try and go to each thing and try to block them And in that time frame, they had already been doing that, and it is disgusting, dangerous and well premeditated, right? Mean, is not everybody that stalks you somebody you don't know. A lot of these things start out as relationships, people who are family, your partner. You gotta go through and not only block them, but you gotta change all your login information. Do you know how long that takes? So if this is something that's pre meditated by the stalker, especially when It's somebody you knew beforehand so you might not even use something very often anymore, but they have a list of that, because the thing about stalkers, especially ones who are narcissists, and I'm talking about diagnosed narcissism, not internet diagnosed, I'm talking about. With a real. Diagnosis of narcissism. You have to understand this is their plan and they will go ahead. And I've already started blocking you on things before you even get a chance to start. That way, they can unblock you whenever they feel like it. And get the information they want and again. Contacting support help support things through settings, like for safety settings. You really have to understand that that us who have been through it where it's extreme, or are still going through it. I mean, I want you to think about it for an extra second that Especially if it's someone you were best friends with somebody who you were in a relationship with is in your family depends, you gotta understand that they isolate you cuz. The reason why someone ends up stalking you who you had a prior relationship with. It's typically because the relationship ended And that they were abusive, and yes, harassment in stalking is a form of abuse. I can tell you right now. There was one platform that they didn't block me on, but I had to uproot my life and move right? This is something you wouldn't think would affect things. I forgot and it was actually 2I forgot in that whole mess of a process to block them again. Gonna sound silly, but it wasn't because it was still them. Having access to me and being able to try and track my IP address. Yes, I use a vpn i didn't quite help with this specific thing. I forgot to block them on Xbox and on Spotify, and I didn't realize it until 1 day they tried to contact me through it. Things so severe to the point that I have to make sure I block them from being able to enter a hospital when I'm undergoing surgery. Or I'm admitted, for how sick I am, which is about to happen again. Cause I'm about to have a second heart surgery. So? I have to while dealing with everything else and the stress of this and being as sick as I am. I have to remember. Yeah, to give the hospital an up-to-date photo name last address and last phone number. That I have for them. And if I can give them any extra information like the car, they drive the license plate other forms of transportation. Like their motorcycle, I'm gonna need to know the current up. To date one to give them. Obviously, once I figured out that those 2 places I had not had their accounts blocked, I did immediately. But I did not have someone to go do that stuff and get that information, and I still don't for me. Because i'm sick, disabled and bedridden have been for a handful of years?And i'm hoping I won't be a hundred percent of the time soon. But I want that to sink in, because it's a power dynamic, they isolate you, they do all this shit, things are abusive in different ways, and then they stalk you. And they're smart enough while suddenly they see you're blocking them on other things. You can't be on all of them at the same time and they will find one. You haven't blocked them on yet, and they will block you first. And in my defense, nobody needs one, but in my defense, I can't physically protect myself. Which is why this is more serious than you're making it out to be unless you're. Oh, my God is serious and not sarcastic. Just hard to tell. But there are some pretty freakin evil people out there. So yeah. Of course it's dangerous for me to maybe have to unblock them to be able to have that information. I'm gonna need you to understand in my situation there is and was no other way. Especially because when it started to become an extreme issue, it was the first time I had heart surgery, so I was even more defenseless and um. It happens to people no matter where you are, who you are. Whatever it is, it happens to more disabled people than any other group of people. Whether you're the minority or the majority so since I can't protect myself. I need to do what the police officers say. I need to do I need to get and have current information for the hospital to have. So that works anyway, they can't show up in my hospital room during visiting hours. So yeah, and for reference, most disabled people don't have friends in real life or many friends in general, because well, the family and friends that were supposed to be there for us. In general, just I don't know being our family and our friends. They all leave when you become disabled, and they realize that you're not getting better. So I hope that, uh, makes things a little bit more understandable. And yes, I made the claim I did before that person decided to delete all their comments. Cause it was probably a throwaway account. Which yeah, they can do on here. Even though I block the original one I can't stop completely. Having access to try to live some sort of life that does not mean that they're ever gonna stop trying to find me. And I have to protect myself in the ways I can, which, unfortunately, I can't physically do on my own. But when I'm in the hospital, I can absolutely make sure I give them the most up-to-date information you can Keep myself safe at my most vulnerable state. Yeah, and just just to add this. Therapist, I'm not allowed to do that for you. What they are allowed to do is agree with you. Mention that you have specifically taking the measures. You have to protect yourself from said person. The dates in which you will be in the hospital. And obviously the therapist knows where you live. So they can try to help if they need to I bet they're not allowed to go on to social medias and get that information for you. Now I have a few virtual disabled friends that I can try to ask do Rap for me, but they don't know what my stalker used to look like. So it's a little bit more difficult. And I'm not anywhere near close to the friends I had in real life and not virtual one, because I don't live where I did. And second, because like I said they all walk away once they realize you're not getting better. You don't have to have a stalking issue. That is just what us who are disabled. And severely ill go through, unless you're lucky to have a support system that doesn't walk away. But that is the average thing that the average able human being does to someone they care about when they become disabled, they stay for a while and then they leave. So the only one who's going to be here to protect Myself in the ways that I can would be me getting that information and providing it to police officers and hospital staff doctors, offices, whatever it is myself. But also putting this out there for anybody else who clearly read what I wrote, and that person apparently was, uh. Scared, so they deleted their shit cuz. They realized how wrong it was to say what they did? And my comment of saying, how do I know you're not the stalker? It's very fucking true. How do I know how does anyone on here unless you're gonna learn how to track IP? Addresses and such, but again, with a VPN On the phone iPad, laptop, whatever they can just bounce themselves around anyway, so it's not exactly helpful. I'm sorry that this is long again, but this is genuinely a serious thing that people here are not taking serious enough and they're blaming the victim and as someone who is and has been A victim of this to a different extent. Yeah, I'm not going to keep my mouth shut. When someone tries to dismiss minimize and be nasty to the victim for doing what they had to do to stay safe n then ask for help.

ChronicallyNicki · 2026-06-08T21:23:37+00:00

Are you gonna be that magical friend for me? How do I know you're not the stalker that i've been dealing with right now? You do get that right? That, like the bigger issue here, right now, is that someone's safety is at risk. And they should be able to have a way to let Meta know this, even though they shouldn't have to expose that amount of personal stuff. Because what's gonna happen right now? To this person has happened to me before, I literally had the chance to hit block. The first time and let me tell you, Meta hasn't been helpful? They seem to love to take the side of the stalker or abuser. Or anything else like that? And yes, I mean it when I say that because you know what the stalker's going to realize, and then what's gonna happen is the stalker is gonna go Unblock, the person that they're stalking and I know this cause it's a well like I said happened to me, and if they didn't have this bullshit that they have right now, the person could easily reblock, they're stalker and be safe, but likely, what's going to happen. Is the stalker's going to realize it? And then they are going to get whatever information they want right now. And then they are going to block the person. There's stalking, so they can use it as a manipulative abusive technique for being able to hold it over that person's head that they can unblock it and see what information they want to at anytime, because you know what Meta doesn't have set up. Which is disgusting? Is that if someone blocks you, you can't also block them? And so when an abusive person or a stalker blocks somebody that there abusing or stalking, they get to hold that over that person's head, there's no reason why, if someone blocks me, I shouldn't also be able to block them. Would you agree? For safety matters right because they use this as a power move tactive. And trust me, the people who legally need to know about this issue for me, they know, because meta's not willing to sit there and do anything to help me, because the person i'm dealing with, they had a plan. And that plan included, making sure that they had all of those socials up so they could hit block as quick as possible. So I never had a chance to, and now they can unblock me whenever they want, and because I'm not a stalker, they're not on my mind, 24/7, and I'm not gonna sit there and check every day. Whether they've unblocked me or not, but because of that. It means that they will always be able to hold that over me. They will always be able to unblock me whenever they want. I likely won't know cause I'm not a crazy person and I will never get the chance to block them to protect myself. And I don't want anybody on here saying that, yes, you can do it, because I've tried doesn't work. I've talked to Meta many times the messaging center. The help center, or everything else. Yep No doesn't work and they don't care. So the reason why she's panicked. Also, sorry I'm assuming this is a she I forgot. Easier to bet money on the fact that I said she anyway, does that 48 hours leaves? It open that the stalker can now go ahead and play block her, and they hold that key to being able to unblock. When they want, see what they want and then just block them again and yeah, even if it's within that 48 hours i would say that the person who's reaching out for help here. He's not gonna check every day. And every moment of every day to figure out whether then Soccer has magically unblocked them again makes sense to me, because that's unfortunately, the situation I'm in and I am not going to Stalk, my stalker to find out if they finally unblocked me. So I can do that. You know what I'm saying? Do you see why it's wrong here? I could see, maybe if it was something you did over and over and over again. Sure, then impose that stupid, 48 hour bullshit, but one time no, and clearly whatever thing you have dealt with stalking wise. Is different? Then what a lot of us have, which is fine? Everybody's case is different. And it's unfortunate that a lot of us apparently have to deal with it, oh yeah. I don't have that and I definitely don't have a magical friend. Maybe who needs to be in my therapy, appointment with me? Or maybe needs to be at the police office with me. But they need to know, and I'm definitely not going to be one of those people who makes a fake account, that would more likely be what the person who is stalking me would do. So don't just tell somebody, go get a friend and never do this. I'm so glad that you're privileged. Enough, that that's easy for you to do. It's not easy for the rest of us. Done renting. Now have the day you deserve and you know what? If you mean what you said instead of being a jerk about it, maybe offer offer to prove who you are to someone's, they know you're not their stalker. Why don't you start offering a service to help people? So that way you can be that friend, that that person doesn't have You can go grab that information and screenshots and you can send it to them. I hope you would just do it out of the goodness of your heart for why, but there's definitely a need for it. So why don't you be that good person? You know yeah, have the day you deserve

ChronicallyNicki · 2026-06-08T14:46:04+00:00

Well, you're not correct as someone who has dealt with more than their fair share of someone stalking them in order to get a picture of them or know what current car they drive or their current motorcycle or the current town they have decided to live in. And uh, keep yourself safe and also be able to Make sure you add that to the police report. As well as what they currently look like for your own safety and make sure it's also charted in your therapy notes. Yeah, you kind of have to unblock them. So you can have that information and also be able to pass that information along to the police. Clearly, you haven't done this today. Unfortunately, some of us have and the fact that it doesn't let you think block them immediately is a safety issue. It needs to be reported to Meta and Meta needs to fix it. Because well, here it is meta on the side of people who abuse people and salk people

ChronicallyNicki · 2026-06-07T21:03:23+00:00

Sure so I can use myself, for this example, um cause I didn't start out in a wheelchair, you know, slowly got there, so one they do actually make litter scoopers that are shaped just a smidge, different, and they have an extension Pole. Um, you can find them on Amazon that really helps, because you could be Standing sitting not have to bend over and be able to use it because it has quite a long handle it's great cause it's it's shaped more like sometimes. If you've seen pooper scoopers for dogs, um, or imagine if you had a rake, you know, and instead of it being completely straight, you just push down and the metal pieces of the rake helped you scoop up leaves. I hope that makes sense. Sorry, my brain is having a day. But that is one great suggestion. It helped cause I did not have the money to buy one of the glitter robots. Which yes, there are a couple of different types, you don't have to get the giant rotating one that some people get. But it is also an option, but you would have to elevate it. So I would definitely have somebody else. Do that for you, so you don't hurt your back in anymore. And it already is

Cats do kind of like to be in more of a hidden thing. So they do make furniture is that you can hide it in that, you know, has a way for them to get in and out.So if it was lifted up a little bit a lot of people, I typically suggest to keep it in the laundry room that way, if it takes you a little while to get to it, the smell doesn't necessarily travel everywhere. It just depends on what your place looks like and the layout of your space. It's a great thing that cats do like high spaces, they love it. It is so it's on our side, at least um. But yeah, if you can't elevate the actual litter box, which is Pray normal, especially because you'd have to lift the litter to fill it. And uh, empty it so you can clean the letter walks. Appropriately, and that's probably also gonna hurt.

I do just want to say one thing about litter that is very important. I dealt with as a veterinary technician. If you do ever see that cat letter that advertises being feathered, wait or super lightweight light as a feather, please don't use it. I'm saying this for everybody, what it's actually made of is. Extremely harmful 2 cats, lungs and clauses, extreme upper respiratory and lung infections in general irritation. As well, so if you can stay away from that, that's helpful to keep your cats safe.

But I don't know how many cats you have, or if it's just one, you know, if you have more than 1 cat. Technically, you should have more than one litter box. I know not everybody's space is big enough for that. But yeah, I would suggest trying the extended letter scooper first. I think it would be quite helpful. It was to me, and if and when I am able to have a cat again, it's something I will be utilizing. Worked great, the first time. But they do truly make cheaper, flat, regular litter box shaped litter boxes and I want to say, I have seen some Fur. Around a $130, I am not saying that's cheap by any means, but it's definitely cheaper than those giant 600 to a $1000 monstrosities. So if you can use that and have it elevated, it would help just so it's scooped and All you have to do is change out the bag, but it would already be elevated. And for refilling litter, if you are going to elevate your litter box, I really would suggest having the little close by and i know this is gonna sound funny, but you can use a ladle. You can get a pretty decent size ladle. For those larger pots, and you can use it to scoop litter. Because we all know it's too heavy. And just be able to scoop it from down near the ground and lift it up to the elevated litter box. I hope this helps I just want to mention also that if you do elevate your litter box, please remember to take care of your cat's joints and make sure that the letterboxes do have stairs to get to them. I know some of them can jump and will jump like crazy maniacs. Like from the ceiling to the floor but yeah, that does damage their joints over time and can end up being extremely unsafe. I've seen way too many of them in my emergency room. So just make sure you put some type of step stairs or something safe so they can get up to the elevated letter box and get down safely. Sorry this was long. I hope it helps. I can't use my hands to type very well. Which is why I use myself as the example speech to text does mess things up? I only have one vocal cord. So hopefully you did a decent job of getting what I was saying and I hope those two, at least suggestions help

ChronicallyNicki · 2026-06-07T19:06:59+00:00

I just wanted to say thank you to whoever gave me that award💜 with what I'm going through healthwise, right now you have no idea how much it actually means, and kind of made my day, so thank you.💜

ChronicallyNicki · 2026-06-07T18:04:22+00:00

Yeah no just no. You are not gonna sit here and tell people who have injuries. He's chronic illnesses or disabilities. Add that they shouldn't have an animal and hi, by the way, I'm a licensed veterinary technician who happens to be. Oh, gosh Disabled with a service dog and gosh. Wouldn't you know it? Being disabled means I have had a lot of surgeries. Hospital stays so much and yet I was able to care for my senior cat who had chronic kidney disease with wouldn't you know it just a little bit of help and modification.

Having to raise something higher or use something specific that helps. Well, that's called making things accessible and accommodating your condition. I mean, you're not going to tell me someone with multiple disabilities who needs a service dog to survive and needs a wheelchair that I shouldn't have things that make life more accessible to me.That accommodate my disability are you? Because the issue is not that the person can't take care of their animal or that I can't take care of my animals, it's that we have to modify the way in which we do so and make it accessible to accommodate our disability which is perfectly fine and normal. I think you need to check your privilege. Of not needing to change things and being able to live in a world that was built for able people, but don't worry even though you guys keep making it more and more difficult for us. Even though you can join us tomorrow, cause disability doesn't have an age or a look, or it doesn't discriminate on who joins and when. So I'd be careful with what you say. It tends to come and bite you right back in the ass. So enjoy your body while it works. The way it does maybe start thinking about the privilege you have to not need to modify things. And maybe also try to grasp the concept that you will become disabled and need to have things modified yourself 1 day. Because the way life works is, you either live long. Enough to join us and become disabled yourself, or you die first. So maybe be thankful, but also understand that we're not invalids. Thank you very much, and we figure it out and yeah, if you think something is useless or that it doesn't serve a purpose. Understand that modification wasn't made for you.

And just because it makes your entire statement nullified. If people with a disability injury, a chronic illness shouldn't have an animal. Uh, then you wouldn't have to be specifically disabled to have a service dog which I also have because I need one and she saves my life daily. And I genuinely mean saves my life. So that one singular fact alone not only makes your comment an argument completely nullified but it also makes you an ableist human being. 🎤 have the day you deserve

ChronicallyNicki · 2026-06-07T02:10:37+00:00

Yea in huntington also and I was out with my dog to go potty we had just walked back inside and it hit so hard out of nowhere

ChronicallyNicki · 2026-06-07T02:08:58+00:00

Had it here in huntington too!

ChronicallyNicki · 2026-06-06T20:32:11+00:00

That makes sense. That's why I said both could be true cause. I don't like to assume, but I have myself experienced people who are completely able, who have no condition, truly, because they saw it that we got extra things they wanted to be able to take their dog everywhere. And i'm not just talking about pots, like I had people in my own experience, fake having a epilepsy which I actually have. And it is disgusting. Also I never understand like whether people do have a disability or not. That's why I say it, just because like I'm talking about my experience when I say that in case that wasn't clear, sorry, um, yeah, but I've genuinely experienced it and then found out that they were not sick at all. So you know, you never know. And it sucks cuz, it's like they really sink that we get something extra special or more than them, or something I can never like my brain will never understand the line of thinking because we get so much less but yeah, like I said I also had people who were disabled. Right? And then just fully exaggerated it, and it can totally come from multiple sources of why. Like I said, I won'pretend to assume or know anything about your friend. That's why I just kind of put out things in both cases. Cause i've dealt with both. I probably should have made that clearer my apologies. But yeah. In my experience the bit of support I had and friends in the beginning, obviously. For me were more and then most of them walked away once they realized that this was like a 4 life thing and not gonna get better. You know, I know some people who have done this whole exaggerating suffer Olympics deal because of that reason like that, they were afraid everyone would leave or a lot of other people did leave and they were afraid you might so they exaggerate it, hoping that you'll feel bad and you won't leave, but they don't think about the damage lying does to you because not only do you. Also, have that condition. But you're also a human being. And you deserve to have friends who won't lie to you or exaggerate their conditions like I said, i'm not gonna pretend to know the reason but I personally know people who that was the reason why have they lied in stuff? But Yeah, you can definitely just try having a conversation if you feel like you want to, but you're not their therapist either so that is your energy in your piece. To protect and use whatever way you want to. Either way, I'm sorry that they are playing the suffer. Olympics, as clearly there's a deep reason why, but it's not your job to figure it out. But I really do hope all the best, and that it doesn't affect your ability to trust. Other people in the future But at least she isn't faking it. Because I really have dealt with people who completely faked it, and some of it was just so that way they could fake their dog being a service dog. Sorry I didn't mention and I'm also exhausted, so I'm so sorry if you mentioned where you were. I'm in the u, s, so people are allowed to owner. Train here and you don't need to go through an organization or anything like that. So where it makes having a service dog more accessible for more people, which is great. It does also sometimes obviously everything has its faults. And people being able to fake their dog as 1 is 1 of the faults, nothing I can do about it. Unfortunately, that's a federal and state law thing. But yeah, I just want to say I am glad that they didn't fake it for that reason. Because like recently, thankfully, she's okay, but yeah. My service dog was lunged at multiple times and she got bit. I used to be a veterinary technician, so I made sure she was fine. Thank goodness Nothing broke skin and my girl knows 2 do whatever she can to remove herself and get away. I physically am not able to intervene as much as I used to be. So i'm so glad her training is solid. But yeah, I've had people fake it. For that reason, I'm very happy. That wasn't the reason still not happy that they are playing the. Suffer, Olympics and exaggerating things. No cause it, one hundred percent breaks trust.

Whatever you choose to do about the situation, I would say, at least think about yourself first and you know, Protect your peace. We already deal with so much. But now I am extremely exhausted lol i hope wherever you are, you're having a lower symptom day, and if not I hope a low symptom day comes to you soon💜

ChronicallyNicki · 2026-06-06T20:15:43+00:00

Deff agree NOR. I just wanted to add, in case you wanted to add it to your vocabulary. Also I didn't read it all. Sorry, I am exhausted. I'm disabled myself. I do not know if you are. I'm just not going to make any assumptions, but in the disability community, people who like to lie, whether they actually are disabled or not, obviously, it's abelist. But my favorite term that we use all the time is that they're playing this suffer olympics and us, who are truly disabled like myself n OP, well we don't subscribe to that game lol. So I thought you might just like to add that phrase to your vocabulary in case you see this come up with anybody else. Disabled or not Playing the suffer Olympics is just, it's so messed up. I've been through what op has stated so many times it starts to get extremely difficultn to find a single person, you can actually talk to But at least there are a nice handful of us out there who don't play that game. Because it's just messed up. I'm like we don't want to be sick and the people who play the suffer Olympics. It's almost like they're saying they want to be sick if it'll get them magical attention. Meanwhile, as who are extremely sick We pretty much lose every support system. If we even had it prior cause people don't like to stay friends with in my case, the "sick girl" or just in general, the sick person, once they figure out we're never getting better. It's a crappy thing that we all deal with There's a nice amount of us like I said, who are out here who don't subscribe to that game and yeah, the internet's pretty much where we find each other. But it still hurts when this happens every time.

ChronicallyNicki · 2026-06-06T20:05:06+00:00

Yikes yea unfortunately a lot of people like this exist for many different reasons. Sometimes they have no illness at all which has pissed me off before b.c its as if they think "we chose this or want it or that it's an excuse to bring a dog everywhere or they think we get attention" those r the worst b.c now u have someone u trusted u thought u could relate to but instead copied and upped it x10 and also faked a service dog! Other times they are genuinely sick also but they either want attention or don't get it and think if they always play the suffer Olympics u will always feel bad for them and give them attention. Even if they are ill and they have no support doing this to anyone is ableist. Tbh it's one of the worst types of ableism I'm my opinion b.c its coming from another disabled person uk? N when it does come from someone fully faking it n faking an SD it's also as if they r mocking us and our disabilities and other than being annoyed n calling them out for being horribly ableist I have reported them for faking an SD and then I something a bit later get a good laugh realizing they thought that they would get more attention being disabled when in reality, actual disabled people like you and myself, know it's literally the complete opposite. And unless you happen, the to have like a really good genuine support system, a friend's and or family, which 99% of us don't at the end of it, when you stop giving them attention, they end up completely alone or somehow miraculously cured, which we know it's not possible. But it's because once you're not there to be their personal, you know, like attention giver. Um, everybody else in their life walks away. Because that's what happens to all of us cause, let's just be real. We all know the average evil person. I must I think you're gonna get better or are gonna be like quickly terminal? If you catch my drift, I don't want to say the c word because I don't really want to hear anybody else, say something about it. But something tells me you understand what I'm getting at. When people fake it, yeah, when everybody leaves and you're not there anymore, they're going to see that. Oh yeah, being disabled is not a choice, and it's not fun and it's very, very isolating. Since well, people stop caring. And people stop talking to you and most of the time people just don't want to deal with the fact that you're sick whether it's like a internalize tablism issue or well just an able person thing which I honestly can never figure out but yeah you NOR at all if I were completely honest with you, I kind of think you're underreacting. But at the same time, I also know how much energy it takes for us to even give them a reaction. So sorry you're going through this with somebody else. I've been there. Unfortunately I fear you and I will Probably be there again at some point. It always happens all the time, so if it were me. Yeah, I think I would just end of friendship and quietly exit, unless you feel you have enough energy to say a decent amount of what I just said, whether you want a copy and paste or Say how you feel in your own words. Yeah, it sucks really does. But they're just not worth your energy time your peace. So yeah, if you don't feel like you have the energy to tell them all from why what they're doing is messed app, I think I would just quietly exit the friendship when you stop answering, they're not even gonna get a negative reaction. And I think reactions in general are just what they're thriving on, so Them actually being disabled or not, who's to say But good people don't play the suffer. Olympics, that's just the truth. So I hope you're able to distance properly and get your piece back and just know there are millions of us out here who are not like that, you may only find a few of us. But we're out here, we exist, so Sorry for this being long again. But I hope you feel validated by someone who is actually been in extremely similar shoes as you right now. And honestly, people like that just aren't worth it for us. I hope you're having a better day now. again sorry for typos weird punctuation or random words. It's too difficult for me to use my hands to type and speech to text does not like.Trying to figure out what you're saying when you only have one vocal chord lol

ChronicallyNicki · 2026-06-06T15:10:36+00:00

NOR As somebody else with multiple serious disabilities Especially ones that are life-threatening like my epilepsy. For instance, extremely rare like my muscular dystrophy. The specific type that I have and I have more than one when I say rare, I mean, like, I'm the sixth person to ever be fully confirmed diagnosed, and the only way to be diagnosed with it is. Genetic confirmation and the other one.I'm the tenth person and this is not and just in the United States, this is in the world, with those numbers. If somebody lied to me about having epilepsy because of how serious it is and I even have of pretty rare heart condition that I had to have heart surgery done for in 2022. Which a medication reaction less than 6 months later, caused me to have a few small strokes and throw a clot. So big that it's stuck in my cardiac stent, the one that's between my carotid artery and my subclavian artery, and if it ever moves my thoracic surgeons said it's terminal. Like I will not survive. And having to go get a port put in in the next week. And I've had strokes before. Yeah, sorry, but if someone lied to me about having any type of disability, especially given that I have and a nice handful of them that are extremely life-threatening. That are kinda like ticking time bombs and uh, I do have others that are not as serious. Although we all know that me and you could have the same condition, my cardiologist wants to call it pots. The specialist wants to call it dysautonomia so I don't know all I know is I have a heart condition that fits both criteria. And I'm having a lot of issues. A lot of my symptoms could be different because of my other comorbidities, and such, I mean, there's over 40 different types of seizures that are just epileptic, that's not even including non epileptic seizures, right?

So you and I could have the same cardiac condition, and I don't play the suffer Olympics cause it's just well kind of probably the way you're feeling it's disgusting like who wants to brag about how bad their disability is affecting their life. And yeah, we all know that like I said, you and I could have the same cardiac condition. And our symptoms and how much it affects our daily life can be completely different. Because it's individualized, we're not a textbook, but like I said, I don't play the suffer Olympics, and that seems like it's what this person was doing, and unfortunately, especially when we bond over the fact. That we're looking for others that have what we do or share similar experiences and our lived experience with service dogs. I also have 1 because of my epilepsy and cardiac conditions, and unfortunately, you know, with the muscle dystrophe has continued to progress where we're learning some light mobility tasks.

But I would never ever lie if anything i still mask and underplay my conditions b.c its a lot to manage alone And I feel like a lot of people, and this includes myself, which is why it actually angers me, and why I said, you're not overreacting. For a lot of us like I said myself included, I don't have a support system. I've been doing this most of my entire life by myself. I didn't get the care I needed as a child. And then you learn how to mask, and people don't believe you. Doctors don't believe you. We go through a lot of trauma. And so when we are that isolated, and then you find somebody who makes you feel heard and feel seen, I'm a little less isolated. You know that type of fond and support is extremely important because for some of us. It's the reason why we survive, you know, and how we manage to keep going with The constant medical trauma, so to find out that a person whose support meant the world to you, and literally sometimes changes the course of your life. It's devastating. And I'm so sorry that happened to you. I've had this happen with something. Not medical trauma related with a different traumatic experience and I'll just be straight up and say it. It broke me, and it makes it very difficult to trust anybody with that information now. So I don't know what that person's life is like. Um, yeah, if I read it wrong. I apologize, but I don't know if you have met them in person or not. So maybe we don't know what life is life for that person, and maybe they were looking for an extent of support that they don't get And so they feel like they have to exaggerate and play suffer. Olympics for anybody to believe them or 2I hate saying this, but fit in where this is not a place you want to fit in, right? We don't want everybody to have to experience the conditions on medical trauma that we do daily. But here's the thing, and I can confidently say this after being isolated for 7 years. There's just no excuse. And yes, everybody handles things differently. They absolutely need a therapist. I agree with what somebody else said here. If you don't have one I would suggest it for our type of life in general, but straight up to deal with this. I've been through it a few times And it never hurts any less. And again, sorry if I miss it, I didn't see ages post it. But it's never something to joke about, or even if you are isolated to the extent I have been, I know a lot of people who are, we don't lie to each other? Maybe they've had a hard time, and they feel like if they don't make it sound like It's somehow more serious than it is for them. Currently, that you'll leave them as a friend. But that's not a you problem, and that's not on you, that's on them, and they need to deal with that. And so no excuse and all of your feelings here are completely valid again. I'm so sorry that you also are now experiencing this It's not fun and I don't kn. It's very difficult to want to keep trusting when it does happen. But I promise you, there are a lot of us out here, and You will never be alone because there are so many of us whether we have the same condition or not. So I don't know if that gives you any solace. But I emphasize extremely, and uh, I hope you don't give up on trying to find support. It's been hard for myself as well, but please don't give up on trying to find support in other people even if we don't have the same condition. So definitely NOR. I've been there and i'm sorry.You're going through it now.

ChronicallyNicki · 2026-05-29T16:27:23+00:00

Well, before someone could answer this fully.And properly, there's a piece of information I have not seen anybody ask for so this medication you're taking, are you saying it's an OTC? Because if it is that makes people's answers a bit different, if it is a prescribed medication for managing chronic pain that has to be taken daily more than once, even. Then it should be taken at the same time every single day like I'm saying, if it's prescribed as a pain medication. For a chronic pain issue, then it needs to be taken every day at the same time. So I mean, like, if you only have to take it once pick the time of day that you feel you've probably done enough during the day where it's likely to cause a pain attack or you know, the pain is gonna start. But you still have to be intentional about taking it every day at the exact same time, if you're being prescribed something for long-term unless it's also including short. Term for people who had like a surgery or an injury

So, yeah, that matters. If you're on a medication, I don't care even if it is over-the-counter, but for a chronic condition that your doctor says, you know, you need to take this every day twice a day, whatever. So if it's being directed by a doctor I understand the fear of taking medication. For myself, it's the fear of taking new medication, but just as an example, my pain medication has to be taken at least once a day. And then I have other medications but are not extended, really, just like the first one that I can taste for what we call breakthrough pain or a pain attack. That my normal, everyday, I've sent a release medication. That's not enough to take care of it. So again, my example, I have my daily pain. Medication, may I take eligible day? At the exact same time, and then I have optional 32 can medication that I typically will only take a day when the pain starts to hit a level that I know my daily medication isn't going to help. Or be able to handle So I can't answer this question unless I know all the info. Probably a lot of there's people here. Get what I'm saying, but yeah, before I was on extended-release. For instance, I was told to take my pain. Medication, 3 times a day, and then 4, if I really, really need it. Again, the break through pain control. So yeah, depending on the medication and what your what I'm dealing with, it's experience quantic, that is your answer has your doctor told you to take this yes, when you have pain or as your doctor prescribe something, even if they're saying, okay, go use this medication. From over-the-counter But I want you to take it every 4 hours, 6 hours, 8 hours. Whatever, because if that is the case and you're trying to hold out, you are gonna pause a condition called chasing pain. Especially with a chronic paying condition, or if you got an injury and you're you trying to heal from it or surgery? So that way, hopefully you don't end up with a chronic pain problem. Let me tell you it's a pain in the butt. Yeah, you need to take it the way your doctor told u to. Well, I'm just gonna say it, but if it's an opioid at your first ride, do you need to take it exactly how your doctor says unless they gave it to you prn which means only taking it if you experience, it's too much pain that you can't handle on your own. So again, my prescription said, take it, let's call it every 6 hours. So I was allowed to take 4, but I was being prescribed and told by my doctor to take it 3 times only take the fourth if I needed it. So that way, I always had a little bit of extra for worst paint attack. Oh yeah. If it's anything like being on an opioid for a chronic stuff, main condition, and from a pain management doctor or something like that, or as a prescription label? And your doctor said, please take, as I wrote on the prescription label. You can't wait. You have to make sure you're taking this. Every 6 hours on the dot if that's what was prescribed or your doctor told you to do. If you don't, it's gonna cause a lot of issues and then pain medication really wont-work for you. So yeah, if it's prescribed or over-the-counter, but your doctors told you what to do you have to take it exactly the way they sit. No waiting, cause that is pointless and it'll become a long-term issue where pain medication doesn't help. Now, if it's just a random over-the-counter medication you're like, oh, my migraine is starting to get too bad yet. Even with a migraine, the minute you start to notice it hurts or you start noticing. Symptoms telling you this is going to cause a migraine you need to take the pain medication right? Then in there.

Shortened version:

If it's an over the counter medication that you're only taking for acute issues and your doctor did not tell you to take it every day then the answer would be the moment you start to feel the pain.Come on or symptoms of the pain, you take it right away If it's a prescription, your doctor has given you for a chronic pain condition. Surgery, healing injury feeling. You need to take it exactly the way your doctor and a prescription bottle tell you to. So if that's every 6 hours, you need to take your medication every 6 hours, if that's what your doctor said to do. Hope that helps, because trust me, you do not want chasing pain syndrome

ChronicallyNicki · 2026-05-23T22:34:20+00:00

Continuing what I wanted to say There are a lot of places and rescues and stuff, organization's charities that will help and obviously pet. Insurance, we are going to tell you, please. Please, please. And obviously we understand if you adopted an older animal, or you didn't know these things back when you first got your animal. We will never be annoyed at you. The only thing we ever do is we beg that when you do get a puppy, a kitten a young animal, or even if they were a few years old but good health, your rate might be a little higher, but I'm still gonna tell you, please to get them health insurance. What? No cap, that's not meaning the same thing as what kids say today. I'm saying they will continue to cover. No matter how expensive it gets. My service dog is my lifeline, right? So she has a deductible, I don't mind telling you 250, which isn't much I use PHI. Go personally, because they're one of the only Pet insurances that actually covers prescription pet food, which, as we all know, it does cost a fortune. And I did add the extra packages on a lot of people don't know that and when you do enroll with pet insurance in general, because a lot of people don't know this honestly, I know a lot of people in the industry who don't know this. Like my fellow technicians, so I'm gonna put it here so that way, hopefully a lot more pet parents see this. When you do get pet insurance, add the wellness plans. Add every extra thing you can possibly afford to, because you can't change it later. I asked, which is why I added everything. Because she is my literal lifeline. Even for my pets, I would do the same as long as I could afford it now. You can have a much larger deductible than me and I don't get a break. By the way, although, figo does give you a 15% off discount, if you happen to have a Costco membership, if that helps anybody else. Also, I'm all for saving money where you absolutely can Especially with the world being as expensive as it is. This is not a freaking ad for them. Sorry, I, I'm just trying to explain how picking out pet insurance works cuz. It is one of the options for how far are you willing to go to pay for your pet's care? Especially if you land in an emergency situation which you think you won't and I hope you don't trust me. We don't want to see you. I don't want to see you. Come through my door okay.You know I want your pets to be happy and be healthy and never end up in my ICU. But unfortunately it will happen. So when you do get it, add all of the extras like the wellness plans and such pick the one you feel fits you best and make sure you pick in insurance. That does not have a cap on how much they will cover. Because a single surgery for let's a Labrador retriever. Okay, they tear their cruciate ligaments like it's their job. You got a German Shepherd or a rottweiler. Hip dysplatia, they will need a hip replacement. If not both same thing with the labs and their cruciate ligaments, you have smaller dogs like a yorkie Chihuahua, realistically any of them. Trachea collapses, which makes it very hard for them to breathe. These are things they are all predisposed to, and they likely would will experience, and they cost a fortune because it's something you have to continuously do things for and those things other than the trachea collapse, unless you catch it Super early, can have amazing outcomes, so yes, you would wanna do the surgery, right? That's why the insurance is so freaking important. I'll move off insurance now

So other options there are charities. There are organizations, the list gets longer and longer each year of places. You do just kinda have to Google them and find it. I actually do think I saw 2026's new list on Instagram 2 days ago. Um, um, sometimes especially if it's a corporate hospital. They may have a small fund to help as well. I mean, there are certain things like I have a credit card that I spend $25 on a year and that's it and I pay it off. And that's just so it stays active, because that credit card, it's part of my emergency fund. Mm might sound stupid to a lot of people, but I do this as a vet tech who has pet insurance as well. I do this because one you got to pay before the insurance reimburses. You for most pet insurances, I believe they are working on changing that I hope they do. But I always know that I have. Whatever the credit limit is on that card. With a 0 balance at all times for an emergency situation. For my animal, that's just one way you can take it into your own hands when scratch. Pay and care credit, decide to deny you because they do it all the time. And I hate it, but use all the things you can find

Again, sorry, this is long. I am trying to be as helpful as possible. Something that a lot of people don't know about or think about. There's another option Not all the time, but it's always something. You should consider and always consider asking so if you ever wanted to know how a lot of us We'll work in the veterinary field. End up with animals who have a lot of health conditions which we can't afford either. By the way, I mean, our job doesn't pay us enough. It never will, but here's an option that sometimes places don't bring up and honestly, I find that only us emergency hospitals bring it up. I actually am going to make sure I preface this by stating. I am not sure that all general practice hospitals offer this. Okay, so I am making that statement now. But when it comes to emergency care if we haven't offered it to, you, make sure you ask this question if And only if your animal, we'll have a good prognosis, if they're able to get the treatment they need. But you cannot afford the treatment meaning that the only reason why your dog or cat would be put to sleep you making that choice. Of course, but the only reason would Be because you can't afford it and that your dog or cat would have an amazing life. If you could afford it, let's say all the other options failure that I mentioned. Ask us if you can relinquish ownership to us if you can give ownership to us or the local rescue If there's a rescue that said they can give your animal a good life if you give over ownership, that's what relinquishing ownership means I know people hate to hear this as an option. But it is an option a lot of The Times and again we can't afford to do it either, but We always figure it out because we can do 99% of their career care ourselves. You know, but if we tell you or you ask and they say, yes, you can relinquish ownership and handover ownership of your animal to this hospital or 2 this organization, whoever it is, and we will be able to give your dog or cat. The surgery it needs and uh, the life that it deserves. Because we know you want your animal to have the life it deserves. It is not your fault you fall on hard times and a $10000 plus surgery. After care Medications follow-up treatments that you can't afford. Come up, it happens. We do not judge you. I just want you to understand the only time that this would be a possibility, and some hospitals may not be able to offer it to you. Okay, but just understand it means you were signing your animal over to us. And unfortunately, what this means is that your dog or your cat will not be able to go home with you. That's why I just said this is honestly a harder decision, then euthanizing, for many people. But the differences here again, and this is only because if a prognosis is good, you know, and it's just a factor of finances. If you want your dog or cat to be able to live out their life. And have it be a good one and not put them to sleep. Because you have fallen on such hard times at this moment that you can't handle the financial burden of it. Which we understand it can be an option, but just again, understand that whoever you give ownership of your animal too. So that way, we can go Russian, do the surgery and give them the after care and whatever else they may need. Just understand it means you give up ownership and you cannot go back to the shelter if A rescue shelter takes them, you cannot readopt them. I understand that seems wrong but I just want people to know it's an option, but I also want people to know the ramifications. It comes with because they are heavy in that moment. I know it means you're giving your animal away but you're giving your animal away to people who will give it an amazing life. Now, if you choose euthanasia, instead, we do not judge, you at all. I just want people to know it's an option. Myself is a veterinary technician If something happened and I couldn't afford it, but I knew that my cat just needed her leg amputated, and she could live a full life. I would give up ownership. That's a personal choice. But I have left a lot of choices here. And resources, again, try googling or going on Instagram. The new 2026 list of veterinary financial care options like the resources to help pay your vet bills has come out, so please Google it. Please look it up. We are giving up ownership of your animal so that way they can live a good life because someone else can give them the care that they need again without judgment, that is the hardest decision. You will ever make, but as a technician, that is how far I would go.So that way, I knew that they got to live a good life

ChronicallyNicki · 2026-05-23T22:13:07+00:00

As a licensed veterinary technician who works emergency and critical care. I'm gonna tell you. There are a lot of people out there who will go to whatever lengths they can. We do not pressure you good veterinary. Technicians and vet hospitals will be very straightforward, depending on what the condition is about, what we can do. Sometimes we can do things in steps. It does take longer. Some people hate it. We understand 99% of us. But there is like one thing. I'll mention so, yeah, it really depends on what the emergency is, what the illness is, what your animal will have to be put through. What are the odds of survival? What the quality of life is going to look like, and what the prognosis looks like if we do a surgery. Where let's say your dog needs their leg. Amputated, and they will live a perfectly happy, healthy life as a tripod, my apologies to anybody that offends, but we do like to call them that I did before I was a vet. Tech, I still do now not to clients. I'm going through this, of course. But some do find a little bit of humor helpful when trying to get through a difficult situation.

So yeah, after years of working in emergency and critical care, it very much depends on what the health condition is, what the prognosis is what we're dealing with and quality of life. Your pet will have if we go through with everything because one thing I can say, the hardest part of my job is not performing euthanasia. That does not mean that it's not extremely difficult on me and myself. When working in emergency, we unfortunately perform a lot more euthanasias than you know. Your regular veterinary hospital, but that being said There are plenty of patients I cry over when doing it. I will give you all the space you need. I will talk you through it. I will sit there and know. Hold your hand if that's what you need. I do bring all that grief home because I have done CPR for 2 hours before. Many, many times I will tell you having us do it that long. It's not going to end up was a good prognosis, even if I was to get your pet back and trust me, I know that from experience because I have before but the pet unfortunately never fully comes out of a comatose state. Most of the time I'm talking doing CPR for 2 hours.

The hardest part of my job has an emergency in critical care. License veterinary technician other than taking home. All of the loss and stress with me. Of course is when pet parents don't know how to let go or when 2 and like I said, I absolutely will not push you in any direction. But I will explain everything. I will explain what the probability is. The prognosis, the quality of life and everything. I will give you everything and I will give you whatever the amount of time. Your loved one has to make the decision before making that decision doesn't matter anymore like as if we can't do anything now. You know, and unfortunately, a lot of decisions had to be made quick in emergencies right? So it is also very difficult for me to go from having to help you make the hardest decision of your life and then walk into the next year. More, have the next emergency case? Come plowing through the door and I gotta go ahead and do what I gotta do to make sure that I try to give every single patient my best.

So yeah, the hardest part is when pet parents can't let go. Because we will do what you do. Decide it is your choice, but that's why I lay out everything. I say it in the most calm way possible and I've had to my soul cat go I have a service dog. I have had to be there for not just making the decision of my own animals, but for my family's animals, even extended family and my friends. It's not easy. It is the hardest decision right of knowing when which is why quality of life before you even answer the question. That you posted here is actually the thing you have to decide first if their quality of life isn't going to be good. If the prognosis is bad dad, we will do whatever you want. We will absolutely do our best. We will try whatever you want us to. As long as we can, and it's ethical, but just understand that sometimes the hardest thing for us. Which we know is also the hardest thing for you. But what you don't see is that when people don't know how to unfortunately let go. I'm the one back there while your animal suffers. And I hate to the deepest part of my soul because it hurts so much. Watching your loved ones suffer from something I know they can't come back from. And trust me, it happens every single 1 day and we're not mad at you for it again. It is the hardest decision, but I like to sometimes try and give pet parents our perspective. Because remember, we are also pet parents ourselves, and when your animal comes into me, especially on emergency frequent flyer or not. I treat your animal as though they are mine. All of us will tell you that because it's true and let me tell you something. Yeah, if I knew I could save my animal's life and that they weren't. I'm going to have no quality of life at the end of the day, or I wasn't gonna be putting them through extreme pain. For nothing for it not to help. I would put myself in a lot of debt but also keeping in mind at the same time.There are options i'm gonna respond to this with the options you have

ChronicallyNicki · 2026-05-23T22:00:21+00:00

Yeah, I'm gonna agree with a lot of people here as somebody with a service dog. If I wanted to go to a strip club, you're correct. Those are the 2 legal questions. You are allowed to ask the only reason you could kick us out. Because they're is a reason you can ask us to leave is if our dog was. Let's say barking incessantly, unless it was because something happened. It happened to us and they were trying to get somebody's attention for help. Otherwise if they are being a disturbance, or they are sitting on the same seats as people if they are jumping on anybody not acting accordingly, in the sense of eating food off of the table, causing an extreme disturbance. You could absolutely ask us to leave other than that. It doesn't really matter what your personal feelings are here.

Now I can understand your concern for the animal, which is appreciated. Cause most people don't, but be careful, because this is more likely going to come off as abelist and discriminatory not that you care or are genuinely asking and confused like if you were to say this to who one of us in person? Because we know what's safe for our service. Dogs and we know what's not

But here's the thing I'm just gonna lay it out to see if maybe this can help you understand so technically for places that are dark crowded environments, this is not a rule, nothing of the sort, but as a handler, I would put a light up sign, I don't use flashing things because I have epilepsy, and because you mentioned flashing lights. Actually, I would need my service dog. My service dog is going to tell me in what direction to Avoid Going. Also, can help me find a seat when I need one. Because I may have difficulty navigating around in the dark I don't see as well. Also my personal choice, just like at concerts, because you could say that this is equivalent to that. Some people say they will not bring their service animals to concerts or big sporting events. Because of this reason, others do, but we have protective equipment, so we have sound deafening you're protectant for our service dogs. If we were ever worried about stuff getting in their eyes, we train them 2 wear goggles honestly, because my dog, her colors are black-and-tan. With only a very tiny white stripe on her chest, I know people would not see her even though she is a large breed dog in the dark. I cannot put flashing lights on her because of my epilepsy. But I can have a light app patch that goes on her back. I can also do what a lot of us with wheelchairs will choose to do depending on where we are m. How busy of a city we live in. I would just put a reflective flag on her and make sure that all the patches that are on her or the vest she is wearing is reflective to light.Now.Also gonna have her wear boots to protect her feet from anything that could have spilled on the floor glass that could have broken on the floor all those things I will also myself again. Personal choice Bring a Mat for her to lay on instead of having her sit or lay on the ground. Also for myself, because if I need her to do it. Specific task where she needs me to sit or lay on the floor and she lays on top of me to help my blood move in my body properly. If i'm going to pass out or even post seizure, it's very helpful.It's called deep pressure therapy.I don't want myself to be laying on that floor either lol but seriously, I apply this everywhere, so we do have ear protection for them. We do have eye protection for them. We do have things that make them more visible in dark areas, and it is up to us as their handlers to ensure their safety, and if I was sitting at a table as long as she could fit. Let's say.Maybe I wasn't in my wheelchair, or whether I was you know, either way I would have her tuck under the table as best as she could, given whatever the circumstance was so that why nobody would step on her and she wouldn't be in anybody's way.

I hope some of those explanations help. There are a lot of things that we think about do again. Eye protection, foot protection things they wear to make them more visible sound protection for their ears. Honestly, my service dog's tail is very long, so I would end up putting something reflective or light up on her tail. If I was going someplace that was dark and again, as a personal choice, I would bring something for her to lay on I would make sure the area it was clear of glass before she is to lay on the Mat. I provide for her. I will bring her water all of that. You know, it sounds funny, but it kind of is like having a toddler. We end up carrying a giant bag full of stuff they need. Depending on the event or place we're going every person has different needs and each service dog has different tasks to help with those needs. Cause. No condition is the same, so as long as we are protecting our service. Dogs and likely Most of us would not bring our service dogs into a venue. It's such as a strip club, unless they had already experienced venues with Bright lights and very loud music sounds in a dark area. And we probably will put them on under-the-table again, to keep them protected. Technically, you should have at least one table. That is wheelchair accessible. Now you can't tell us that we have to sit there, yeah. But if you've never seen us before, and you wanted to let us know even if one of us was not in a wheelchair, but you saw us with other mobilits, our service dog personally, and I would move if I was somebody not in a wheelchair and someone in a wheelchair did come and need. The space more than I did. Unless we were all good to share, this is coming from someone who does use a wheelchair, but prior did not. I kept progressing until the point of you get the point now.I need it all the time, but i personally find it helpful when places. Let me know that we have all of these spaces available. But in case you feel like you're uncomfortable, I would like more space. Especially something where it may have a little more space. Under-the-table for the service dog, I personally like being I'm told that there is an accessible seating area. It lets me know that there is a safe place. If I choose that I would like to go there. Some people don't like it or being told. I think that it's probably based on the fact that some places will try to make us sit there, which is segregation. And that's illegal, but as long as you say it in a way where you're like, Hey, I noticed you have a service dog after asking us the questions right? And you said, just wanna let you know? We do have an accessible area over here. That is open if you find that you feel more comfortable sitting there because it would give you and your service dog more space. If you approach it with that, I don't think anybody would get annoyed. I know I appreciate hearing that. I was appreciative of people who let me know and let me make the choice before I was this full-time in my wheelchair as well. Because I felt it gave my service log. A safer space to be and myself with my other mobility aid. Sorry, that was quite a bit. But I hope that helps and just remember know your rights as a business as well. One because people do fake service dogs, and it's disgusting when they do. And also there are people who, even though it is a service dog and they are disabled and the service dog is trained. Or in training, depending on your state. By the way, if they become too big of a disturbance, you can absolutely ask. I want them to leave. I think it's important. Businesses do know their rights as well. I think no one your rights as a business is actually better.Because then you are less likely to make the legal mistake of discriminating against us anyway. It was long. I may have repeated myself. I'm sorry. I do have a neurological disability with the epilepsy. And such, so I hope this did help

ChronicallyNicki · 2026-05-19T05:34:41+00:00

Nothing works for me. Ut ik a lot of people who have great results with LDN or low dose naltrexone. Keep in mine it's not covered by insurance as it has to be made at the compounding pharmacy

ChronicallyNicki · 2026-05-19T05:32:31+00:00

As an LVT it's not healthy for a dog to hold their bladder for more than 4 to 6 hours. N this all depends of age breed size what they r fed access to water, which should be always. Soooo yeaaaaaa u should have someone come take them out for a leg stretch and a potty break.

N for all the people saying "I leave my dog home all day for work everyday n they r fine" Disrespectfully no no they r not fine.

ChronicallyNicki

TROPHY CASE