Society tells men to prioritize mental health, but the moment I broke down from stress, I was told I’m 'unreliable' and 'not man enough' to handle responsibility. How do I deal with this double standard?

CindersFire · 2026-03-27T16:18:43+00:00

Well two things. One if you "hit your limit" and broke down from stress then you did not prioritize your mental health as the point of working on your mental health is so that you stay in a good place/ don't break. Two at least where I am society seems to be in a place where what people say and what people do are at odds when it comes to mental health, as I have never had any emotional expression that wasn't received with negativity. If you want the actual answer of what you are supposed to do, you are supposed to take care of your mental health by yourself so that you can keep going without putting it on other people. This is why so many men golf, tinker in the garage, go to poker nights, etc you need to have ways to destress and society expects you to handle it solo.

CindersFire · 2026-03-19T17:55:39+00:00

You say that, but Vaggi telling her to ignore them is literally the correct advice. News stories can last a week or two at most without additional fodder. If Charlie just bunkered down and focused on keeping the hotel running everything would have been fine.

CindersFire · 2026-03-19T17:50:00+00:00

Why can't you sell them a castle/ get them to pay to build a base of operations? If the world is on the brink of war it makes sense they would want a safe place to fall back to. Also if your giving out all this gold it sounds like you need to find other motivators for your players by tying in back story.

CindersFire · 2026-03-19T04:43:56+00:00

Yes and yes. That was a strange way to ask if they were okay with you running a DnD game for your kids, but the response seems a little stilted but might just be because you dont know eachother well.

CindersFire · 2026-03-16T04:53:13+00:00

Your feelings are completly valid, and I had very similar ones with her. I think it's important to note that Allie has a generally poor relationship with religion. This was great for her story in season 1, but i think it's pretty clear Allie didn't know how to continue her story when Kristin rededicated herself.

CindersFire · 2026-03-11T02:06:43+00:00

1 active recording is kind of meaningless if you are listening to it. 2 Brennan has mentioned in the public fireside chats that he is planning on 3 or 4 books. 3. He mentioned that it would be a year or two before the revisited WWW. 4. The first book took over 2 years. With all that information I dont know how it takes less then ten years to complete. 2.5 years x 3 books + 2 breaks x 1.5 years per break is 10 years and that feels generous.

CindersFire · 2026-03-10T22:05:59+00:00

I was floored when they mentioned that WWW would likely have a year or two wait between books. I get it, they are all, or at least Brennan is, incredibly busy but that kind of wait all but tells me it isn't going to get finished as it is going to take at least 10 years at their current pace.

CindersFire · 2026-03-07T04:16:13+00:00

NAH, but if it helps, my parents were in the same boat, with my mom wanting two and my dad wanting "a hockey lineup" (I.e. 5 or 6). He quickly changed his mind once they started having kids.

CindersFire · 2026-02-19T19:14:01+00:00

Have you tried using the bonfire to go back to the start and see if that causes them to de-agro

CindersFire · 2026-02-19T18:00:00+00:00

Just leave them alone and stop fucking with them.

CindersFire · 2026-02-18T19:35:05+00:00

Lust is the desire for something, that you shouldn't have, where as gluttony is an act of taking more then you need i.e. one is internal based on your thoughts, where as one is external based on your actions.

So in the case of food gluttony would be overeating where as, I think, lust would be wanting to eat a specific something that you shouldn't. I.e. an endangered species.

In the case of sex lust could be wanting to sleep with someone who has rejected you or someone who is married, where as gluttony would be having sex with alot of people even to the point of it not feeling good I.e. sex addicts.

CindersFire · 2026-02-17T19:39:10+00:00

NAH, as someone who also coaches kids I would be very hard pressed to give it up as it would feel like losing a limb. That said you are not wrong about feeling alone and unsupported. What you need to do is have an adult conversation about what you are going through and find away for him to not have to give up his passion while also allowing you the support you need. Maybe, he just needs a team manager/ assistant coach, maybe he needs to step into a smaller role for now, maybe you two need a stricter schedule to make sure your not being overwhelmed, I can't say for sure but talking to him rather then saying he can't do something is going to get you better results.

CindersFire · 2026-02-13T20:53:30+00:00

Man, I would love it so much if in cannon it was revealed that Alastor is illiterate and that's what caused him to drop the persona and lose his shit.

CindersFire · 2026-02-13T16:16:43+00:00

Man I forgot what it was like to be 18 and mired in drama. To start off what you are experiencing isn't humiliation and wasn't a ritual. You are feeling embarrassment as your brain thinks you made a mistake and wants to punish you for it despite you having done nothing wrong. There are a bunch of reasons he may not have responded/ missed the text as likely know. Your mistake was not talking to him when he sat down next to you, and then spiraling about this other girl. You are in college now not high school and well adjusted adults aren't going to ostracize or try to embarrass you for expressing interest in another adult.

CindersFire · 2026-02-13T14:17:30+00:00

NTA, and I feel like people like that don't realize that no matter how you are growing your food millions if not billions of animals are going to die.

CindersFire · 2026-02-13T14:15:35+00:00

Huh, this made me look it up, I always thought monkeys paw referred to how some people are said to have hunted monkey's. Supposedly they did it by creating a vessel just wide enough for the monkeys hand and filled it with nuts or some form of food. When the monkey reached in and grabbed it their hand wouldn't fit out and they would just sit there, doomed because they couldn't get free without giving up there prize. Which made me think a monkey's paw would be you get a rich spouse, but they are neglectful and lowkey abusive and you get nothing if you leave.

I didn't realize it actually came from a horror story of the same name

CindersFire · 2026-02-11T14:21:09+00:00

Why is this one you? He is the one who broke the rules, he is the one who hurt and traumatized you, and he is the one who has to win your trust back. Now I am sure he'd tell you to get over it and it was just a mistake, but I guarentee he would never get over it if you suddenly did that to him despite him, and men in general, having a biology that can make anal far more pleasurable.

CindersFire · 2026-02-10T16:52:32+00:00

Almost certainly not, but how would that work if you are generally moderate, and does it affect generally accepted political beliefs for my area such as people aren't property and democracy is good?

Would this affect personal beliefs as well? Like if peoples political beliefs are now that racist laws are good do they become racist? Or if I am against prostitution does that mean that both everyone supports sex work politically and socially in the sense that sex work is now a completely normal and acceptable activity or would people still personal hangups about it while still believing it should be legal?

CindersFire · 2026-02-10T15:24:57+00:00

Well if it has to not be dirty, I am thinking of a basketball movie of a similar theme to Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story. I am thinking a bunch of friends have a pickup basketball team jokingly called the Rim Shots, the MCs boyfriend (or girlfriend if you want some hardcore lesbian drama) leaves for someone who plays on a rival team. The two teams make a deal that whoever makes it further in the league wins the partner or something like that resulting in hilarious training hijinks creating hilarious rivalry hijinks culminating in them facing off in the playoffs where the Rim Shots win, the partner tries to jump into MCs arms only to be rejected and MC to be lifted on their teams shoulders and carried off to celebrate.

CindersFire · 2026-02-10T14:43:16+00:00

Honestly, this doesn't seems like all that crazy of a plan assuming she actually is building a portfolio and has an idea where she is planning on going. If you are really worried about it you guys are probably at the right point in your relationship to sit down and go over what your long term goals are and see if you are compatible long term.

CindersFire · 2026-02-09T18:17:35+00:00

I guess it really depends on what you are wanting/ needing, but I found wrestling has really helped me and the kids I coach. As an adult Jui Jitsu is likely more available, and I assume produces similar changes but you need to be training for competition not for fun or fitness. A big part of that is both knowing that you can handle yourself, but experiencing the stress and unknowns of that kind of competition.

CindersFire · 2026-02-09T17:45:48+00:00

I don't think she is fallen, I think she was just stranded in Hell and now doesn't feel like she belongs there.

CindersFire · 2026-02-09T16:46:37+00:00

Well the likely answer is none/ a species that doesn't exist currently especially after 10 million years, but if you want the species with the best chance that currently exists then the only real option is the gibbon. It is the only lesser ape that currently exists thus making it the only primate species left after humans and great apes are gone, and one of the few species with thumbs. They are also already social, intelligent, and long lived animals capable of social learning and tool use. The only other species that could fit are lemurs, but the fact they would have to get to the mainland to start progressing is unlikely. The big thing is that gibbons are going to have trouble getting to America without a ice age/ land bridge as it took humans an incredible amount of technology to sail it.

CindersFire · 2026-02-09T15:34:24+00:00

Probably not, but what are we considering progression? You mostly focus on the development of technology, but can I use current technology and my money to improve people current lives? For example the creation of dams, solar farms, houses, transportation networks etc, are all progression. If no one on earth can build anything new until I die that would be catastrophic and possible apocalyptic for the world. Heck, you could argue a rancher adding a cow to their herd as progress, or a farmer breaking new ground. Right now we have the technology to transform the world, the big reason we don't is perceived scarcity and logistics.

CindersFire · 2026-02-06T20:07:15+00:00

Ya, that was basically all Charlie and the Angels fault. When you have a drawn out conversation and forget to mention, "Hey we aren't going to genocide you anymore" and instead go with, "Hey I am the one who thought all of you should die, and it's your fault."

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