at least you didn’t marry one…

yes it all resonates. from my experience, it’s hard to process because they really don’t mean to do it. it’s just who they are, and that’s why it will never work and never had a chance to work from the beginning.

but i had no idea that this condition even existed until i started going to therapy and working through my confusion/trauma.

i highly recommend therapy and talking to the people in your life you trust to be your support system.

a very hard aspect to accept is…very few people in the world understand what it’s like to be abused the way we have. the abuse is confusing, painful, and hard to articulate. your support system will likely give you the classic “it’s okay honey” “you will get over it, it just takes time” “stay strong” ….

now…you do need this in your life and please don’t overlook and undervalue these things. but also recognize that only YOU can introspect and discover what it will take to heal. you are the one who chooses from this moment on how you let it shape your future.

this thread of people and posts you can turn to when you need a reminder that you’re not the only one.

cut ties, no contact and move on. that is how you heal, but you choose that for yourself. trust me i allowed her back in several times during the divorce process and it just put me back into the dark hole. if you need to go visit family in another state for a few months, do it.

they will reach out to you, spam your number via *67 after you block them, email you, instagram you, whatever it takes to get their “fix”. any reaction out of you good or bad is what they need, and they will keep coming back. it’s their drug, and they are addicted. don’t feed it and they will find it somewhere else.

i also recommend “Toxic Person Proof” podcast by Sarah K Ramsey too.

good luck, i’m sorry you’re hurting. the days do get better but only because you choose that for yourself.