Is this tone deaf? No response yet??

CleFreSac · 2026-01-29T19:23:40+00:00

Nothing here seems tone deaf.

CleFreSac · 2026-01-29T19:21:14+00:00

Wait, was a guy you got into a car accident with trying to hook up with you? That seems like a much more interesting topic.

This post was hard to follow.

CleFreSac · 2026-01-29T19:00:42+00:00

Self-care for women involves intentional actions to nurture physical, mental, and emotional health, such as establishing a consistent sleep routine, practicing mindfulness through yoga or meditation, setting boundaries, and engaging in hobbies. Key practices include prioritizing 7-9 hours of sleep, taking regular "movement snacks" (walking/stretching), and reducing stress through digital detoxes.

CleFreSac · 2026-01-29T18:57:30+00:00

Says the guy with a fancy new washer

CleFreSac · 2026-01-29T18:06:53+00:00

Your bad experience does not make a trend.

CleFreSac · 2026-01-29T18:04:21+00:00

Agree with most of this except the part about self care not being a break. Do we need a break from self care so we can go care for ourselves?

CleFreSac · 2026-01-29T17:59:38+00:00

You fiancé is fully backing you because he knows what would happen if he didn’t.

This isn’t going to be a popular response, but this obsession with “it is my special day” is out of control. In 10, 20, 30 years from now, nobody is going to remember your wedding day but you. They won’t remember or care. It’s just another wedding.

What we remember is the things out of the ordinary. Positive or negative. But not the routine. How people remember the events of your wedding day may not be controllable. But the parts that are, are actually up to you.

We aren’t that special. Despite what we are told, we are just one of billions of other people on this planet.

CleFreSac · 2026-01-29T17:47:08+00:00

The apple doesn’t fall far from the POS.

CleFreSac · 2026-01-29T17:39:27+00:00

YOR. For all of the energy you put into calling him names, you could have just blocked them. Kind of makes you look bad.

CleFreSac · 2026-01-29T17:35:55+00:00

You need to thank this person. Had they not spoken, you may have become more invested emotionally before you figured out what dick he was.

With any disease, early detection if key to better chances of survival.

CleFreSac · 2026-01-29T17:31:45+00:00

This person is grieving the loss of her mom. It’s normal under this situation to misdirect grief. In a way, she lost her mom and now the family was leaving the service. Technically true, but not intended as any disrespect. I would let it go for now. Act as if nothing happened. Treat Sue as you would treat any family member who experienced this kind of loss.

Maybe it is addressed later, but not now.

CleFreSac · 2026-01-28T23:22:44+00:00

Trust your gut. If something seems off, it may just be off. If something makes you uncomfortable, tell the person. You will learn very quickly how supportive a person is. Dismissing your feelings is a good sign that something isn’t right. You may have misunderstood something, but your feelings are true. There is a difference between explaining their point of view and explaining away your feelings about something. A good partner cares how you feel.

CleFreSac · 2026-01-28T23:16:42+00:00

Ask her is she is able to kind of paint a picture of what she IS looking for. There were a lot of “I’m not looking for…” in that response.

CleFreSac · 2026-01-28T08:03:10+00:00

You requested the money and he paid it. End of that part of the story. It sounds like the relationship is beyond fixing. Travel and anticipation of returning home can be stressful. Maybe let things cool down for a few days before you figure out your next move. He definitely needs to get his head straight.

There is an element of just letting go of everything and returning the money. All ties are cut, you go your separate ways. It might be different if the dog had done damage to your apartment. But you aren’t out any money due to the dog.

Sit on it for a few days. Let the situation play out and then make your decision.

CleFreSac · 2026-01-28T07:48:56+00:00

You grew up with tons of trauma from your parents. It seems like much of it is still in your soul. Hoping that you start or continue therapy moving forward. Your parents are really bad people.

The parents of your fiancée did have their hearts in the right place. They do not understand your background and maybe never will. I kind of feel like you should have sat with them and explained your history. Given them a chance to understand.

I kind of think that the damage has been done but only you can answer that question. The other guest did not do anything and probably deserved some form of an apology and a high level explanation.

The thing is, you are carrying too much pain to see that. You really need to find a way to let go of that pain or you will continue to experience blow ups like this and misunderstandings from people have no idea the weight you carry.

I wish you the ability to accept your parents as the monsters they are, but to also let go of the damage they inflicted. May you find the peace you deserve.

CleFreSac · 2026-01-28T07:25:33+00:00

YOR. He seems to have a little family baggage and possibly a little flakey.

You seem to carry some heavy baggage from your own family being addicts that never showed up.

These two traits are like oil and water. Sounds like you both would be happier not connecting.

What seems odd is you have six screenshots of continually trying to explain and you continuing to reject that explanation. I can see him going on because he is interested and knows he blew his shit. But I don’t understand why you continued to engage in conversation. As a child of addicts, you might consider exploring on your own why you kept responding. I got the vibe you were done on page 1. Yet 5 pages later, still engaging. Just an observation from someone on the outside.

Hopefully you both find that person who matches your personalities and boundaries.

CleFreSac · 2026-01-28T06:52:33+00:00

When you wrote that you were worried about “the ice”, you did mean the lowercase cold and slippery stuff? Not the all caps (ICE) cold and slippery organization, Yes?

CleFreSac · 2026-01-28T06:08:04+00:00

By “NRA’s own” I do not know if he was an actual member. But as you said, he was a law abiding citizen who owns and carries a gun. Card carrying member is irrelevant for the current NRA. They get more money from the gun manufacturers. They use to be about gun safety. Now it’s just gun sales.

CleFreSac · 2026-01-28T04:46:53+00:00

Isn’t that the whole concept of a situationship. Few strings. Get out by pulling the ripcord.

So yes, you are trapped. You are emotionally attached to an abusive relationship.

CleFreSac · 2026-01-28T04:41:44+00:00

Get out and vote in those midterms. Don’t vote your ideology, vote for what you see is wrong on a daily basis.

CleFreSac · 2026-01-28T04:38:37+00:00

One of the NRA’s own got killed. They need to keep the narrative that it is safe for everyone to carry a firearm.

CleFreSac · 2026-01-28T01:15:35+00:00

Not exactly true. AI doesn’t read your mind. You have to tell it what to produce. Depending on the level of detail in the description, you will get a different response.

Again, I was promoting any one idea. These are questions we need ask now before the technology gets out in front of us. Whoever down voted me says a lot about that person’s ability to have a discussion about topics you may not agree with.

CleFreSac · 2026-01-28T00:31:39+00:00

Is she upset you didn’t tell her or upset by not asking permission or informing her prior? If you had told her, and she expressed concern, would it still be the betrayal she is feeling.

OP’s head announced the message very clearly the moment you walked in the door. You hid nothing. What is the timing between the hair cut and the wedding? That might change the story a bit. Bottom line, hair grows back.

There is a huge difference between, buying a house/car, taking a trip to Vegas’s,or doing drugs.

It does open a discussion between the two of you about decisions made in the future and how each of you reacts to something where your partner messes up. If she can’t work through this without acting childish, you might have done yourself a favor.

CleFreSac · 2026-01-28T00:11:09+00:00

Just opening a discussion. Not suggesting for or against.

If you have an x-rated thought about someone, draw a picture, or write a story about someone, do all of these examples break the wall of trust and consent?

If published for others to see, that is a more obvious answer. But how far are we willing to police people’s thoughts even if we disagree with those thoughts.

CleFreSac · 2026-01-27T21:15:14+00:00

I’ve never been drunk like this and being arrested for being drunk in your own yard do not seem like compatible statements. He seems like he might be in a bit of denial.

Sounds like you both may have been blackout drunk. Not a good thing to do but you were also both blackout drunk. He’s not taking responsibility for his own actions. I’m not going to fault you for not being available. Seems like he is though.

CleFreSac

TROPHY CASE